


Mr. Blue Sky

by anyrei, mugglerock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A Certain Bird is the Bane of Dean’s Existence, Also Cas’s Grace is Dwindling, Also No Case Stuff and No Hunting, Anal Sex, And Just to Shake Things Up, Apple Pie Life (Supernatural), As In All the Big Bads are Gone, BMoL Took ‘Er Jerbs!, Bask in the Glorious Domesticity!, Bask!, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Canon Compliant Through Season 12 Episode 4, Canon Divergent, Cas is a Pretty Pretty Princess, Comedy, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, I know, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Now Back to the Fun Tags:, Now for Possible Triggers:, Oral Sex, Pre Jack, Referenced (But Not Depicted) Sexual Trauma During the Casifer Possession, Rimming, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Supernatural Canon Big Bang 2019, Thanks to the British Men of Letters, This is Rot-Your-Damn-Teeth Sweet Most of the Time, Top Dean Winchester, Unsafe Sex, Vanilla Sex (Gasp!), We Suck for That, Which Means No Jack, Which Means No More Hunting, Yeah We Still Brought in Kaia, almost no angst, because fuck you that’s why, supernatural universe, that’s right, you’ve been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 06:30:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 111,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20077693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: The British Men of Letters had done a pretty thorough job ridding the world of monsters. With Sam already out of the life, living with Eileen in California, Dean and Cas are faced with a new predicament. What to do with the rest of their lives?Clearly the only logical option was to try out the apple pie life thing as two best friends, right?[Part of the SPN Canon Big Bang 2019][Goddamn precious art made by huntress79]If you read this anywhere that is not ao3 this content was stolen without the author's consent! Pls don't support thieves! Read this on ao3!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Any here:** This is probably one of my favourite stories that we have ever written. First of all yeah CANON-VERSE!! *cheer* After all the AU stuff we wrote I'm happy to be back in canon. Since we know now that SPN is going to end, this is my personal favourite ending for the show. Of course I know they will never officially go there but there is a reason I love what fanfic writers and artists create for Supernatural A LOT MORE than what the writers do for SPN. I hope you guys will enjoy this as much we enjoyed writing it.
> 
> **Frankie here:** Dude, what she said.
> 
> **Any here:** Seriously? I thought that’s like my line...
> 
> **Frankie here:** I FINALLY GET TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT!!! Anyway, yeah, we both loved this fic. Mostly because we particularly enjoyed their characterizations and all of the original characters we brought into it. We sure as hell hope you feel the same! And yeah, exactly, the fandom will still be here long after s15 is over, and so will Any and I. Honestly? At this point? These characters belong to all of us, they haven’t belonged to the producers or writers of the show for a long time. :D
> 
> **Any here:** What she said.
> 
> **Frankie here:** YOU COPY CAT. 
> 
> **Any here:** It’s not copying if I wrote it first on another fic much earlier lol.
> 
> **Frankie here:** Fine. YOU REPETITIVE CAT.
> 
> **Any here:**Thank you.
> 
> **Frankie here:** You know what’s coming...
> 
> **Any here:**Oh damn, I walked right into this one. Now I will have this song stuck in my head again…. Ugh….
> 
> **Frankie here:**
> 
> _Meanwhile_
> 
> Any here: Our "real anyrock" crew has become a little bigger this year. We now have help with the beta process of our way too many unbetaed finished fics, that have been hanging in Limbo for way too long. We call them R2 ([Eyes_of_a_Tragedy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyes_of_a_Tragedy/pseuds/Eyes_of_a_Tragedy) and [tfw_cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfw_cas/pseuds/tfw_cas)) and they are our beta superheroes. Packed with skills like speed correcting and finding every last fuck up we fabricated. I can not thank you two enough for being a part of our writing team and the work you do for us. I love you! *Hands trex a naked and singing Nias* *hands ruk a muse playing cas with fluffy wings*
> 
> **Frankie here:** Damn, Any, talk about fucking poetic. I’m not even gonna try to beat that, but seriously guys, you two work so goddamn hard, so goddamn quick, and continue to help us move and grow. We are insanely lucky, and honestly, I can’t even begin to express my gratitude. Seriously. I love you both so fucking hard. *can’t hand you anything better than what any did, so gives you both privacy to enjoy those gifts*
> 
> Also massive love, kudos, squeals, and naked angels for our artist, [huntress79](https://huntress79.tumblr.com/)! You can check out her masterpost [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20077753)! And please enjoy all of the art embeded throughout! Man, we’re super excited for you all to see the awesome pieces, and sheer amount, she made for our fic! Go give her some love and snuggles too!! Thank you again, lovie!! <3<3<3
> 
> P.S. You can follow us on our joint tumblr [here](https://the-real-anyrock.tumblr.com/)!

**** ****

“Son of a bitch!” Dean cried out, kicking against the wall of a rusty metal container in an abandoned warehouse. A warehouse that should have been the nest of a bunch of vampires, instead they only found a pile of dead ones, decapitated and already on the verge of burning to ashes.

They were too late. Again. The Men of Letters did a very efficient job as hunters, Cas had to admit. He gave Dean a pained look, trying to comfort him. “At least they won’t hurt anyone anymore. Shouldn’t that be the important thing?”

Dean gave him an unamused glare. “They’re taking away our cases, Cas. We’re getting rusty.”

Cas sighed and watched the smoldering pile of burning, dead vampires. Since Sam had married Eileen and moved to California, Dean had thrown himself into work, trying to get over the fact that after ten years of constantly being at his side, Sam had left for good, trying to have a normal life. 

And of course Dean supported him. He loved Sam and he wanted the best for Eileen and him. Sam had earned it. There were no real arguments for them to stay in the life as hunters. There were less and less cases, all the big bads dead and gone… It was quiet. But the change was still difficult to adjust to. 

More than once Dean had called Cas by Sam’s name before he turned around and Cas could see the disappointment in his eyes. Cas didn’t take it personally. He knew humans were creatures of habit and the only important thing to Cas was making Dean happy. He knew he couldn’t replace Sam, but he also knew that Dean appreciated that Cas stayed with him.

They had never really talked about it, but Cas knew Dean hated change. Dean had also told him one night over a few beers in the bunker that he was glad Cas was there, and not constantly off doing his angel business. Whatever he meant by, “angel business.” Cas hadn’t worked with other angels for a long time. 

Either way Cas had no intention of leaving Dean’s side… not just because he had nowhere else to go, but because he knew that Dean would suffer being alone. Dean would never admit it, but he didn’t have to. Cas knew his friend. He knew Dean needed someone in his life. And as long as Dean didn’t tell him to leave, he would stay with him, and do everything in his power to help him.

Cas gave Dean a careful look before he asked, “Do you want to go to a bar?” Cas hoped that would lift Dean’s mood. Since Heaven’s power was slowly dwindling due to the amount of angels that were left, Cas’s grace had started to fade and he was more susceptible to the effects of alcohol. Much to Dean’s delight. Dean had told him several times that he was hilarious when he was drunk. Cas had no clue how alcohol had any effect on his humor skills, but he wasn’t going to question it. The important part was that it made Dean happy. 

Dean sighed as he scrubbed his hand over his face. “What’s the point, Cas?”

“I thought the point was to consume lots of alcohol to…” He made air quotes with his fingers, “Deal with this shit.”

“I meant going out to a bar, but yeah, you know what? Booze ain’t fixin’ the fact I’m a thirty nine year old who’s only ever hunted and I’m suddenly out of work.” Dean sighed again as he kicked at the burning bodies.

“I know… I'm just trying to make you feel better.” Cas had no idea what to do, so he just walked up to him, touching his shoulder. “We should go back to the motel.“

Dean rifled his hand through his hair and nodded. “Yeah. Nothing for us to do here.”

They walked back to the car, and Cas hated that he couldn't do anything to make Dean feel better. When he sat down next to him, he took in a deep breath and looked over at the weary man. “Do you sometimes think of quitting? Starting a normal life like Sam did?”

Dean started the engine and let it warm up as he sat back against the seat. “Sammy had an education. I’m a middle aged high school drop out with a GED and no work experience that can be put on paper. And it’s not like I have Bobby around to pretend to be a former employer.”

“I worked as a sales associate and I have never been to any school. I’m not even human,” Cas argued.

“Fine. It’s possible, I just… I wasn’t supposed to outlive my job.”

“Well, I'm glad you did,” Cas replied with a soft smile before he added, ”and you’re a strong, resilient, and adaptive man. I know whatever the future will hold for you… you will give your best. Maybe this is your well earned rest.”

Dean sighed and looked at Cas as he put the car in drive. “What about you?”

Cas tilted his head. “What about me?”

“I don’t…” Dean swallowed and shook his head before he continued, “You gonna ditch me if I run off and try to do the normal life thing?”

Cas frowned and slowly shook his head. “I want to stay as long as you let me.”

“So you won’t leave me?” he asked, his tone surprisingly soft and vulnerable.

“Not unless you want me to.” He swallowed and there was a weird feeling in his chest. “I mean, you probably won't need me anymore should you find someone you want to spend your life with. Like Sam did.”

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “That ship sailed a long time ago.”

Humans always thought that and then they still met someone they ended up spending their life with. But for now Cas answered Dean’s prior question like he believed Dean. “If that is true, I will remain at your side. As long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you, Cas. Hypothetical future girlfriend or not.”

“Then that's your answer.” Cas couldn't help but give Dean a quick smile, feeling happy about Dean’s words.

Dean returned the smile. “So… are we doing this? Are we gonna start over somewhere?”

Cas wasn’t sure if Dean meant it or if he was joking. It was such a big change and he doubted Dean could just stop hunting and live a normal life… with him. What would they even do? Would they still live in the bunker? What would Cas do? Especially since he was slowly losing his powers. He would become nearly human again and he would need a job. He couldn’t be useless.

But all of those concerns didn’t cross his lips. Of all the questions whirling in his head, one made it out. “Where?”

Dean leaned over and popped open the glovebox. He pulled out a large map of North America and spread it out on the dashboard. He flashed Cas a smile and said, “Close your eyes and point.”

Cas gave him a look that hopefully conveyed his skepticism, but did as Dean told him. Because that was what he always did. He closed his eyes and pointed, letting out a thoughtful noise when he opened them again. He had pointed to the middle of Lake Michigan. “I’m not sure this is an efficient way to determine where to move, Dean.”

Dean laughed and shook his head. “Try again.”

Cas raised his eyebrow before he closed his eyes again. "Alright," he replied dryly before he pointed again. He carefully blinked open his eyes before he squinted at the map. "Plain, Washington."

Dean smiled at Cas and nodded. “Alright. So, I guess we’re heading home to pack.”

Cas gave him a quick smile. He still couldn't believe Dean really meant it. "What if we don't find a job there?"

“We hustle to make a living until we do,” he said with a determined smile. 

Cas nodded and tilted his head as he looked at the map. “There is a lot of forest and a lake nearby. It looks… peaceful.”

Dean sighed a little wistfully. “And we’ll be closer to Sammy and Eileen. Just a sixteen hour drive instead of a couple of days.”

"Yes." Cas gave Dean a curious look before he added, "I'm sure Sam will be very happy about that."

“Yeah.” Dean nodded as he got onto the freeway. “Now we just gotta break the news to Mom.”

“How do you think she’ll take it?” Cas asked carefully. He knew Mary was a difficult topic for Dean, especially when she started to stay away from the bunker for weeks just to work with the British Men of Letters. Not that Dean hadn’t forgiven her for it. 

Mary had told him that all she ever wanted for them was to have a normal life. That’s why she started working with them, seeing how efficiently they dealt with monsters. So efficiently that they had put all other hunters (who didn’t start working for them) out of work.

Dean shrugged. “No idea. Pretty sure she won’t really care.”

“Don't you think she will be happy? All she ever wanted was for Sam and you to have a normal life.”

“Yeah, well… it’s probably what she tells herself to justify abandoning us.”

Cas could hear the pain and hurt in between the lines, he reached over and touched Dean’s arm, not really sure why since he just followed his instincts. “Maybe you can start fishing again. You seemed to like that… I remember you dreamed about it sometimes.”

Cas could still remember the foreign feeling of warmth and contentment when he had visited Dean’s dreams. Human feelings were puzzling for him at that point. They still were even though he had a better grasp on them. The more his grace was fading, the more affected he was by them.

“I can’t remember the last time I went fishing,” he said with a head shake.

Cas could see the reminiscent, barely there smile on Dean’s lips. He wanted Dean to focus on the positive things. “Maybe you could teach me?”

Dean turned to look at him, a bad habit he had while driving, but not one Cas ever intended on remarking upon. “You wanna learn?”

“I would like to understand why that is something… fun? For you.” He tried to explain.

Dean shrugged. “It’s relaxing. That’s what makes it fun.”

Cas frowned and tilted his head, trying to understand what part of fishing made it a relaxing way to pass the time. “I thought the reason for fishing was to eat the ones you catch.”

“Well, yeah, unless it’s a catch and release type place.”

That was weird. "Why would you catch the fish just to release it? What's the point?"

Dean shrugged. “You know, I have no idea.”

Which was even weirder. Because shouldn’t someone at least know why they were doing things? “I see,” Cas replied, which was his standard reply for everything he didn’t understand, but decided it was best to just drop the topic. “So is fishing more about the journey than arriving to a certain destination?”

“Precisely,” Dean said with a soft laugh. He smirked at him. “You know, for someone who used to count my freckles to pass the time, you sure are judgy about fishing.”

Cas tensed up and looked over at Dean, squinting his eyes at him. There was no way Dean would know that he used to do that during the days of the apocalypse. "I'm not judging, I'm just wondering and... I don't count your freckles." Which technically wasn't a lie because he had finished counting all of them years ago.

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Dude, when we got drunk last weekend? You totally confessed that you used to do that. So don’t even try to play it cool.”

_ Damn. _ Cas looked out of the window feeling embarrassed. A feeling he still wasn't used to, but he had started experiencing over the past year. He knew it derived from feeling shame, a feeling that was exclusively human. After all the mistakes he had made in his time on Earth he had finally started to feel shame... shame for not being a better angel, a better friend. "I don't do it anymore," he grumbled.

Dean leaned over to pinch Cas’s cheek before gently smacking it. “Don’t be grumpy.”

Cas scrunched up his nose and glared at Dean. The hunter had an annoying habit of pinching or slapping him during a conversation. Not that he could feel pain, his grace was still working in that capacity, but he had to stifle his instinct to punch Dean everytime he did that. It was annoying. And Cas really didn't get why this was supposed to be a gesture of showing affection. At least that was what the internet said as he tried to google weird human behavior. 

He liked when Dean hugged him, he also liked when Dean put his hands on his shoulder or arm when they walked through a door together. He really liked when Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulder and he felt his hand on his neck. It was a sensitive area because it was so close to his wings. He wished Dean would prefer those gestures instead of hitting him all the time. “I’m not grumpy, I’m just stating a point. I don’t count your freckles. Anymore. Because I’m finished.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “Alright, you gotta tell me how many I have.”

"Seven hundred and fifty seven," Cas replied without hesitation. 

There was a beat of silence as Dean regarded him for a moment. “Seriously? Is that including the ones on my ass?”

“Of course.” Too late he realized that was a piece of information that could get him into trouble.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “You know I’m gonna ask how you know that, right?”

"I'm aware that I made a strategic mistake, yes." Cas gave him an innocent smile. "You could still decide to _ not _ ask."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “You know what? I’d rather not know.”

Cas audibly exhaled and nodded. "Wise decision."

Dean smiled and nodded, focusing his attention back on the road.

For a long while there was just silence between them, the only noise coming from Dean's cassette tape. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was a nice and relaxing one that spoke of their years long companionship. Cas watched the outside world rushing by, getting lost in thought and memories until he suddenly startled when everything turned dark.

“Oof.” He sat up straight in the seat, realizing that he had been on the verge of falling asleep. He hadn’t been aware that his grace was already that low.

“You alright, buddy?” Dean asked with a bemused chuckle.

"Yes," Cas breathed out. "I was falling asleep. It just surprised me."

Dean gave him a concerned look. “That’s happening more and more.”

"Yes." Cas rubbed his hands over his legs to get rid of the weird, tingly feeling in his thigh. "My grace is diminishing more and more. Soon I will be almost human again."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Shit. And there’s nothing you can do?”

Cas shook his head. “There is no way of stopping it. Heaven’s power is just too weak. We are lucky that enough angels are left back in Heaven to hold everything together.”

Dean sighed and gave him a pointed look. “No banging reapers for you then.”

“Don’t worry. I have no intention of repeating that experience," Cas replied dryly. His motivation to experiment with dating or any human interaction other than the Winchesters was very low on his priority list. He only had bad experiences with it, and he wasn't looking forward to a repetition.

“Good. I’m not losing you ‘cause you wanted to get your dick wet.”

Cas gave Dean an irritated look. “I assure you, I’m not motivated in that direction at all. You’re the one who pointed out waitresses to me who appear to be interested. I’m not.”

Dean quirked his brow. “Yeah, why is that? You’re a good lookin’ guy. You could have your pick.”

“I don’t have a desire for sexual intercourse,” Cas replied simply. The only time he had felt lust had been when he lost his grace, and it hadn’t been an entirely comfortable feeling. It was certainly on the list of things he didn’t miss from his time being human. Almost on the same level as urinating, or hunger and thirst.

“Nothin’ about sex appeals to you?”

“Not as long as my grace is still working.” He sighed and looked out of the window again. “And I’m not particularly looking forward to feeling sensations like physical urges again.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve never heard someone bitch about urinating that much.”

“It’s just that sometimes I don’t even know how you get anything done as humans with how often you need to use a toilet or have to eat, or drink, have to go to the toilet again, brush your teeth, wash your body, masturbate... It’s tedious.”

“Wait, hold on,” Dean said as he held up his hand, “you don’t like sex, but you masturbated?”

“I did when I didn’t have my grace.” He looked out of the window again. “But it felt like I had to… it was too uncomfortable to not do it.”

Dean quirked his brow. “Morning wood? Pissing helps with that too.”

Cas was getting uncomfortable with their conversation, especially when he remembered how much he struggled with his morning erection for quite some time. Urinating and hitting the toilet in the right angle was more difficult than he had thought it would be. “It also sometimes happened randomly. Not just in the mornings.”

“How randomly?”

Cas frowned as he tried to think about the events that had triggered the reaction. “Sometimes when I watched TV for example. Like that one time with the babysitter and the pizza man. Just that the movies weren’t like that.”

Dean gave him a curious smile. “What were they like?”

“Like normal movies… And then people in that movie started to kiss and it happened.” He sighed deeply. “Although I didn’t want it to happen.”

Dean chuckled. “Kissing turns you on?”

Cas turned and looked at him in surprise. “Is that unusual?”

“No,” he said with a head shake before he amended, “well, I mean, it turns me on when I do it. I don’t think I’ve been turned on watching other people kiss.”

“For some reason it has a greater effect on me than seeing more inappropriate things on television. I think it’s the intimacy of it. The thought of having someone who loves you,” he replied wistfully. Love was the only emotion that angels were familiar with.

Dean barked out a laugh. “Cas. You sap.”

Cas frowned at Dean, feeling insecure. “You think it’s weird?” he asked, feeling slightly hurt by Dean’s comment.

“It’s a little weird, but mostly sweet. You don’t want sex; you want love. All that chick flick, Hallmark crap.”

“You make it sound like that is a bad thing.”

Dean shrugged. “Depends on how you look at it, I guess. I mean, if you believe in that crap, then it’s probably awesome.”

“You don’t believe love exists?” Cas asked, surprised by that revelation. After everything Dean had seen, Cas thought it was something he _ knew _ existed.

“Not that kind of love. Not really. That Disney idea of a one true love, leg kicking, swooning crap. If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that love like that is bullshit. But if people want to buy into it, who am I to stop ‘em?”

“Sam and Eileen seem to be very happy,” Cas replied, trying to find out how Dean put their relationship in the equation.

Dean nodded. “My parents were happy. You can love someone, but in love? Nah.”

"What's the difference?" Cas asked curiously. 

“Again, depends on who you ask. Sammy and Eileen love each other and because they have sexual chemistry and enjoy spending time together, they think they’re in love. And for a lot of people, that’s good enough.”

This was way too complicated, and Cas was certain he was getting a headache. Which was weird because he never got headaches... except for that one time when he drank that liquor store. For him, love was love. There was love for a family member or a good friend and then there was love, like in having a person who is the most important person in your life and you would do anything for. He shook his head and frowned, looking out of the window. “I see.”

Dean sighed and tapped Cas’s knee to draw his attention back. “I’m what they call a cynic, Cas. You shouldn’t listen to me.”

"I've learned a lot from you, Dean, but I still have my own experiences to fall back on," Cas explained and for a brief, weird moment he wished Dean would leave his hand on Cas’s knee.

“What do you mean?” he asked, brow furrowed in bemusement.

"It means that I don't always end up having the same conclusions about things. Like love, for example." There was a small smile tugging at his lips. "Do you remember the cupids? They follow a plan of making people fall in love... but..." He smiled then. "I don't know if it was father's idea of humor, but sometimes people were already in love with someone else and it didn't work because the bond that had formed was already too strong. I know love exists because in Heaven I saw it everyday, with souls that got reunited after death."

That appeared to have struck Dean dumb. After a beat of apparent contemplative silence, he furrowed his brow and gave Cas a serious look. “So, then it’s not something you could have, right? ‘Cause you don’t have a soul?”

Cas looked down, his chest suddenly hurt. "No... but I still can love someone."

Dean braced his hand on his shoulder. “I wasn’t saying you can’t love. I know you can. But from what you said, the way you feel love is the way I think love works. Kinda proving my point. Soulmates only work for people with pure souls. Which is _ not _me or you.”

Cas frowned, surprised that Dean would think that about his soul. "Dean, you have the strongest and brightest soul I have ever seen. With that theory you would definitely have a soul mate."

Dean rolled his eyes and patted his arm placatingly. “Sweet of you to say, Cas. But we both know it’s bullshit.”

That actually made Cas angry. "Dean!" He glared at him. "It's not 'bullshit'. How do you think I found you in Hell under all those souls? You're the Righteous Man. Your soul is like a beacon. And that is a fact. You can ask any angel if you don't believe me." Which hurt because Cas had hoped Dean would have started to trust him again by now.

Dean scoffed and shook his head. “Stop it, Cas. Seriously.”

"You have to stop seeing it as a compliment," Cas replied in a serious tone. "I sometimes wish your soul wasn’t like that. You would have a normal life if Heaven hadn't meddled with your family. You didn't deserve that."

“Shut up!” he yelled, seemingly as shocked by his outburst as Cas was.

Cas's heart clenched uncomfortably before he focused on his lap.

Why had he still not mastered the skill to see when he was making someone uncomfortable? His stomach felt like a dark pit threatening to swallow him whole. He decided to just be quiet for the rest of the drive, hoping that Dean wouldn't be angry with him anymore by the time they were back at the bunker.

Dean sighed and rubbed at his chin. “Sorry I snapped. I just… I don’t want to talk about that anymore.”

"Alright." Cas swallowed dryly and looked out of the window again. He didn't feel like talking anymore because he feared Dean would get angry again. There were so many topics that were difficult to talk about with his friend. So he just stayed quiet, counting the seconds of them returning to the bunker. The silence wasn’t companionable anymore. It felt tense, and Cas didn’t like it. In moments like this, he actually felt his wings itch. It was a phantom feeling because most of his wings had burned to ashes.

“Look, I don’t want you to be pissed at me either,” Dean said after three and a quarter Led Zeppelin songs.

"I'm not angry with you," Cas murmured after a while. "I just hate making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

Dean sighed and shook his head. “Doesn’t mean I get to yell at you. And I’m sorry too.”

Cas shook his head. "It's alright." He took in a deep breath before he tried to stir their conversation away from things that Dean was uncomfortable with. "I don't have a lot to pack. I can help you with your things if you want."

Dean gave him a small smile as he breathed out a soft laugh. “How much more stuff than you do you think I own?”

“More than three things,” Cas replied with a mirrored smile. “And we probably should pack food. I could do that.”

“Yeah, that’ll help. And there’s a few things I’ll want to grab from the archive. Shit we could pawn for cash. Maybe you could help me look for valuable stuff?”

“And things that don’t have curses on them.” Cas gave Dean a quick look. “I noticed that your archive is full of objects like that the last time I got…” He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t want Dean to know what he did during the long nights in the bunker when everyone was asleep and he was alone, feeling lonely.

“Last time you got what?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, last time I got bored.”

Dean quirked his brow. “More counting?”

"I did the dishes. I cleaned the floor, dusted the shelves, and reorganized the whole archive." Cas was kind of pissed that no one ever noticed that the bunker was particularly clean every time he was around.

“Huh,” Dean said with a shrug. “Always assumed it was some weird spell on the bunker that did that.”

Cas crossed his arms over his chest. “Of course you did. Well, it was me. I tend to clean when I get bored. It takes my mind off things and it feels rewarding. You can’t do anything wrong when it comes to cleaning.”

Dean chuckled and clapped his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “No need to be bitchy. I wasn’t judging you for it.”

Cas nodded before he quietly added, "The longest hour is between three and four am. Did you ever notice that?”

“Far too often,” he said with a soft sigh.

"It never bothered me before. That I couldn't sleep. But since the last time I became human, it... I started to feel bored."

Dean chuckled again and shook his head. “That’s the most human thing you’ve ever said, Cas.”

"You can imagine that having human feelings while still not being able to sleep or eat can be a little... annoying. So as long as I'm still unable to fall asleep, I’ll probably clean the rooms... wherever we live." He tilted his head. "Will we live in a motel or will we get a real apartment?"

“I’m kinda over living out of motels,” he said with a small smile. “It’d be nice to have a real place.”

“Yes.” Cas gave him a bright smile before it turned hesitant. “You… you still want me to live with you, right? I wouldn’t intrude?”

Dean nodded. “Damn right you’re living with me. Shit, this was your idea. You better not be thinkin’ of bailin’ on me.” His tone was teasing, but the look in his eyes made it feel like a plea.

“Of course not. I was just…” He stopped himself. If Dean wouldn’t bring it up, maybe he shouldn’t either.

“You were what?”

Cas bit his lower lip before he gave Dean a concerned look. "I... I'll lose my powers soon, Dean. I... will stop being of any use to you."

Dean quirked his brow at him as he pulled off of the freeway. Just a couple more streets and they would be home. “How?”

Cas frowned deeply, giving Dean a confused look. “How what?”

“How will you stop being of use to me?” Dean clarified, but it sounded more like a demand.

"I'm not strong anymore... I can't heal you. I can't tell if anyone is lying. I can't smite any demons anymore." Cas thought all of those things were obvious.

Dean shook his head. “So?”

"What do you mean?" Cas asked with a frown.

“Do you really think I keep you around ‘cause of that shit?”

Cas took in a deep breath. "I actually have no idea what other use I could possibly be to you. The last time I was human..." He shook his head. "I know you didn't have a choice... but I'm afraid you'll cast me aside again... because I'm useless. I just want to be prepared."

Suddenly, Dean pulled over to the curb and hit the brakes. When they stopped, he turned to Cas and gave him a pointed look. “I did not cast you aside because you were useless. And that is still the biggest fucking regret I have. Do you get me? You’re my best friend. You make me laugh when no one else can. You’re the one person I can be myself around. That shit is priceless, and I would never give that up. Alright?”

Cas stared at him for a moment, unable to say anything before he pulled Dean into a hug. It was a short one because he knew Dean hated it, and he instantly pulled back looking at Dean with wide eyes. "Okay... I... I'm glad you said that."

And he was, because he had no idea Dean thought that way about him.

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. “Good. Then no more of that. Let’s go: The Dean and Cas show.”

Cas gave him a shy smile. He really liked the sound of that.

The whole move went better than Dean thought it would. They found a two-bedroom house on half an acre in Plain for rent. It wasn’t a bad price and by using James Novak’s credit history, they were immediately approved and paid the first month’s rent and deposit. 

And Mom was… well, she was Mom. If she was sad that her other son was moving several states away she didn’t show it. Dean tried to listen to the little Jiminy Cricket, which sounded suspiciously like Cas, telling him that this was all she wanted for him and Sam. To live normal lives. Free from hunting. 

As they hugged goodbye, when he told her she could always stay with them if she found herself on a hunt in the area, he realized he meant it. Dean was on the verge of fully embracing forgiving his mother and he found that he was grateful for that step forward.

They’d only packed about a dozen boxes and four duffels between them, most of which was shit they were going to try and pawn for extra cash, so they packed it all in the bed of Cas’s truck. The drive sucked because they were in separate vehicles. But they took their time, making sure to stop for meals together and booking a double bed at some cheap motel at the halfway point.

It was mid-September when they made the move, so the weather when they reached Washington was kind of perfect. Dean found himself rolling down the window to enjoy the breeze and fresh smelling air. While he was still having issues with being forced into early retirement, Dean couldn’t help but appreciate it in that moment. Appreciate his best friend for talking him into it. 

When they reached the house, the landlord had left the keys in the mailbox on the side of the front door. That’s how isolated and safe a place they found. The landlord just left the keys for them. Dean chuckled as he handed Cas one of the copies and unlocked the door.

The warm sunlight broke through warm colored curtains, giving the empty house a beautiful cozy glow. The place came with a washer and dryer unit, as well as a fridge. He looked around and laughed as it hit him. “I’ve never had to buy furniture before. I kinda forgot we would need to do that,” he confessed sheepishly.

“Will we have enough money to buy what we need?” Cas asked in a worried tone as he put some of the food they had brought in the fridge.

Dean shrugged. “Depends on how much we get at the pawn shops. And what we can find at thrift stores. We’ll have to take your truck.”

Cas nodded and pulled his keys from his pocket before he frowned and pulled off his trenchcoat. “What will we need?” He looked around, squinting his eyes. “Two beds, a table, chairs?”

“Yeah, and a couch, coffee table, TV. Maybe shelves and dressers?” Dean shrugged, trying to recall all the different shit Lisa had when he moved in. 

They had brought some kitchenware from the bunker so they didn't need that, but Dean noticed that the only clothes Cas had with him was his usual get up and a ratty sweatshirt and jeans he had stolen when he was human. Cas would need some new clothes soon, especially when he was fully human again. "Alright, we might need to drive two times. Not sure if we’ll get all those things on the truck," Cas said thoughtfully, while he tried to attach the house key to his key ring, already walking towards the door.

Dean cast an appreciative look back at the living room and followed Cas to the door. “Yeah, I vote we grab beds and a couch today. The rest we can slowly pick up. And I want to hit a Target for you to get some clothes.”

Cas looked down at his suit with a frown. He looked weirdly naked without the trenchcoat. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

Dean chuckled and gave him a soft smile. “Nothin’, if you want to look like a Mormon. If you’re slowly becoming human, you’re gonna need more than that suit, Cas.”

Cas made an, "Oh," face and Dean knew he got it. "I won't have the ability to clean my clothes with a thought anymore... And I will get dirty," he murmured as he reached the car and opened the driver's door. 

“And smelly, so we’ll get you a whiteboard for your room. I’ll put a reminder that you need to shower,” Dean teased with a wink.

"I'm pretty sure I can remember that," Cas replied in a sarcastic tone as he slipped behind the wheel of the truck.

Dean smirked as he got in on the passenger side. “And I’m also going to force you into a classic comedy watch-a-thon, maybe then you’ll get when I’m messing with you.”

Cas gave him a surprised look before he blinked and started the car. "Oh, you were making a joke... I see. Sometimes you mean those things. But I actually learned a lot of things on my own. Like driving or buying clothes. I bought my new trenchcoat after I stole that other angel's grace."

“And I vote for a coat upgrade,” Dean said, patting his friend’s knee. He knew all of that. Cas actually adapted damn well on his own, despite his supposed best friend abandoning him when he needed him most. Dean wasn’t lying when he said it was his biggest regret. It was also his wakeup call to how truly and dementedly codependent he was with Sammy. Sam had been trying to tell Dean that for years, trying to put a healthy space between them, and it was the first time he realized just how bad it was.

When Dean confronted that part of himself, he thought he had been successful in taking the appropriate step back. Building a healthy bridge in his relationship with his little brother. Well, he thought he was until that bullshit with Ramiel and he thought he was going to lose Cas. 

He realized damn quick that he just shifted his codependent reliance onto his best friend, but it made him feel a little balanced. And Dean figured if Cas didn’t mind it, what harm could it do. Dean had already come to expect the rest of his life to feature Cas, and he really didn’t care to see a future that didn’t have his best friend.

“You don’t like my trench coat?” Cas asked with a hurt look.

“You tellin’ me you’ve never wanted to try something more compact, more cool; like a leather jacket?” he countered instead of answering his question. And just to hit home he wasn’t intending on insulting Cas, he added, “And how much you get hit on in the trench? Triple that in a leather jacket. I guarantee it.”

Cas frowned and seemed to concentrate on driving for a moment before he answered. "I don't want to get 'hit' on. And the coat was very practical to hide my blade and my FBI badge. I'm not sure I would come across as an agent wearing a leather jacket."

Dean chuckled and gave him a pointed look. “We don’t have to do that anymore, Cas.”

"You're right," Cas amended. Before he gave Dean a hesitant look. “Do you want me to try out a different style of clothing?”

“Well, is there anything you’ve wanted to try?” Suddenly, Dean was bombarded by images of Cas in all different types of styles. From the nineteen fifties _ Mad Men _suave look, to Sex Pistols listening goth-punk kinda thing. Cas definitely had the hair for it.

"I'm not sure what would be appropriate. Claire said she liked me in a tie. So I never thought of trying anything else."

Dean chuckled. “Well, yeah of course Avril liked the tie look. If we pull over, I could drive and you could use your phone to look at different styles?”

Cas raised his eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. "Nice try, but this is my ‘baby’. I’ll just look at what they have in the store. You can help pick something out if you want."

Dean raised his hands in surrender with a soft huff of laughter. “Fair enough. Haven’t had an eighties montage moment since…” Dean sighed and shook his head. Since Charlie.

He felt Cas's hand on his arm, but Cas didn't say anything. He just squeezed his arm before he tentatively pulled it back to the steering wheel again. “I-I would appreciate your input,” he finally breathed out.

“Yeah. Of course.” Dean flashed him a grateful smile. 

After a long moment of silence Cas asked, "So you want me to try out a leather jacket?"

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “If you want. I’m sure you could pull it off.”

Cas suddenly grimaced and gasped out in pain as he pressed his hand against his forehead, steering the car to the side of the road to stop it.

Dean braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder, dread instantly filling him. “What’s up?”

Cas got a far away look for a moment before his expression looked crestfallen. "Angel radio," he murmured quietly, "they’re shutting it down."

“Shit,” Dean breathed out. Then that meant shit was bad. They had barely enough power to keep the exit doors closed.

Cas took in a deep breath. "This will be the last time... I'll hear from my brothers. They’re shutting the door. No angel who is currently present in Heaven is allowed to leave again."

Dean sighed, feeling a tug of sympathy in his heart for Cas. “I vote we buy a couple of air mattresses and some booze. Put the furniture crap off ‘til tomorrow. If there’s any reason to get drunk, it’s that.”

Cas sighed deeply and shook his head with a deep frown furrowing his brow. He still rubbed over it with his hand, like he had a headache. "It's okay, Dean. I’ll manage. It was bound to happen at some point… I just didn't realize it would happen before..." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

“Before what?” Dean asked, fighting the urge to give the guy a hug.

Cas shrugged, and that looked way too human because Cas never shrugged. "I always thought I would go back should something happen to you. I mean, after you die there would have been no reason for me to stay on Earth."

Shit. Dean never thought of that. Cas would be stuck here on Earth, unless he died too. Either way, Dean’s death meant their separation. Dean sank back against the seat and sighed. “Now _ I _need a drink.”

Cas tilted his head. "Why are you upset?"

“I don’t like the idea of never seeing you again after I die,” he admitted honestly. Surprised by how easily it tumbled out.

Cas tilted his head. "Angels don't go to Heaven when they die. I never expected to survive the apocalypse or anything that came after it… I only recently started to think that it would be nice to return to Heaven and… keep seeing you. Because suddenly it looked like it was an option. I also would have been useful to Heaven as another energy source… But now… I don’t have any way to contact them with angel radio being shut down.”

Dean didn’t like the sound of that. He looked at Cas and braced his hand on his shoulder. “I promise, when I kick the bucket for good, I’ll tell ‘em where you are to bring you back home.”

Cas froze for a moment before he gave Dean a surprised look. "That could work. You could threaten to annoy them until they take me back."

“No threatening. I’d do it. I only know six songs by heart and four of them are Zepp. Even if I could carry a tune, I couldn’t hit the notes Plant can.” Dean flashed him a reassuring smile.

It wasn't often that he saw Cas genuinely smile. "I'm sure that will be very persuading." He took in a deep breath before he started the car again and got his truck back on the road. Dean noticed that Cas was squinting a lot though, his forehead still wrinkled.

“You sure you don’t want me to drive?”

“I'm fine," Cas growled before he looked at Dean with a sheepish look. "I apologize. I'm just experiencing a headache."

Dean rifled through Cas’s glovebox and found an individual dosage packet of Tylenol and that was it. His first instinct was to bitch him out for not being better prepared and telling him to pull over to amp up the first aid kit, but then it suddenly hit him. That was something else they wouldn’t have to actively keep up on.

Dean shook his head and opened the packet, offering the pills to Cas. “These might help.”

Cas took them with a grateful nod, his fingers lingering over his hand before he pulled them back and instantly swallowed the pills, scrunching up his nose. For a split second Dean had a flashback to the fucked up future vision Zachariah had sent him to in the past. Where the broken human version of Cas was driving a truck like this, popping pills. 

Dean pushed those memories away and tapped his fingers in a nervous drum against the dash. “You ever regret it? Sacrificing everything for us?”

The answer came instantly, "No." Cas looked over at him with a serious frown. "Not even for a second."

“Even though it’s not even worth it? I mean… what do you have to show for it? A shitty truck, and don’t you bitch at me I’m a car savant, I know a shitty truck when I ride in it, and it’s fine you love your shitty truck… Anyway,” Dean shook his head as he tried to get his thoughts in order again, “all you have is this truck, a couple of fake ID’s, and a cranky human who fucks up on the regular as your company.”

Cas gave him a pointed look. "Well, you're my best friend and my family. That is a lot more than I had before I met you.”

Dean hoped that was true. Dean hoped that if he was upfront with Cas as much as he could be about his place in Dean’s life, maybe that meant this Cas wouldn’t end up broken. As great as it was that future Cas had a sense of humor, there were more important things than perfect comedic timing. “That’s so fucked, to have all those siblings and not know what having a family was like.”

"We call each other brothers because we all share the same father." Cas shook his head before he added, “But ultimately we're a different species. We don't feel like you do; we don't even have a body. In a lot of ways angels have more in common with bees than with humanity."

“That why you like bees? ‘Cause they get you on a fundamental level?”

"I think so. I get a nostalgic feeling when I watch them. Every bee has a mission. Everyone is working for the greater good. It's a simple life. The rules are clear and there is no chaos." He pointed at a store that looked like it sold furniture. "We could try our luck there?"

“Goodwill. Good choice,” Dean said with a laugh. 

Cas gave him a confused look, but didn't ask anything before he parked in front of the thrift store and exited the car. "You think we will find what we need here?"

Dean shrugged. “Worth a shot to look, right?”

Cas realized that it wasn't easy to put a bedsheet on a mattress. For some reason, that he couldn't figure out, the other side started to come loose every time he tried to tuck the sheet in. At some point he just gave up and walked over to Dean's bedroom that was right across from his, trying to see if he needed help with anything.

They had already finished the table and surrounded it with four chairs, decided on a place for the couch and the coffee table and while Dean had set up the TV, Cas had started to clean the bathroom before he had worked on assembling his bed. 

His new clothes, mostly jeans, underwear, plaid shirts, and t-shirts were still packed in a plastic bag that was leaning against the wall of his room, together with his new black leather jacket, that Dean insisted he should have. They hadn't found a dresser yet. But it was on the list for the next day.

Because the manual labor had made him feel hot in his skin, he changed into a black t-shirt at one point that felt so much better on his heated skin than the dress shirt. 

"Do you need me to hold up the frame?" he asked when he noticed that Dean was still assembling his bed, but clearly needed a hand.

“Yeah, could you?” 

Cas walked over and was glad that he still seemed to be in possession of his strength as he easily held up the heavy frame with one hand so Dean could put in the screws without issue. “It’s a nice bed. I like the iron-cast design at the headrest.”

Dean smiled and nodded as he proceeded to finish screwing the frame together. “And cheap too.”

Cas couldn't help but smile. He had a weird feeling in his chest. "This is our first day of our new life. We should call Sam and... I heard it is a tradition to have a party when you move into a house. Can we do that?"

Dean chuckled. “A house warming? Well, we could, but it’s a long way for the few people we care enough about to invite.”

Cas knelt next to Dean on the floor. "But we will invite them, right? At some point it would be nice to see them again." He took in a deep breath before he added, "I miss Sam."

“Me too,” Dean affirmed with a soft nod as he finished with the last piece of the frame. 

"Do you think they will have children? Now that they are married?" Cas asked after a moment. For some reason that thought made him very happy.

Dean shook his head, clearly unsure. “Maybe? I know Sam’s always wanted a couple’a rugrats. If Eileen’s on the same page, then I can’t imagine they wouldn’t.”

Cas tried to imagine having miniature versions of Sam crawling around on a carpet and he couldn't help but smile again. "It's a nice thought."

“Right?” Dean chuckled as he moved to grab the box spring. “I’d be down for bein’ called Uncle Dean.”

"You would be great at being an uncle." Cas knew that Dean was really good with kids.

As Dean grabbed the mattress, he let out a soft grunt. “So would you.”

Cas quickly helped him with the mattress. He wasn't sure how Dean arrived at that conclusion. He didn't have a lot of experience with children. "I still have so much to learn," he replied quietly.

“Yeah, but…” Dean nodded in thanks to Cas as they straightened the mattress on the box spring, “you get better and better at talkin’ to kids.”

"I do?" Cas wondered when the last time had been that he had talked to a child.

Dean grabbed a sheet from the floor and shook it out over the mattress, expertly tucking in the corners. “Yeah, remember that little girl you summoned that butterfly for back in Mississippi? She’s gonna go through life knowing good things exist because of you.”

“I just wanted to make her smile,” Cas replied, a weird feeling spread through his chest from the compliment. Warmth. He tilted his head and watched Dean having no issue pulling the sheet over the mattress. “Dean? Um, could you help me with my sheet?”

Dean gave him a bemused smile, but nodded anyway. “Sure.”

“It turned out my sheet doesn't feel the need to stay under the mattress. Everytime I turned around it was loose again. Maybe my room is haunted."

Dean chuckled and followed Cas down the hall to his bedroom. “The fitted sheet can be a bitch.”

“Why don't they make them larger? It would be a far easier task to get them over the mattress that way." Cas wondered, not for the first time, why humans often tended to take the complicated way instead of the easy route.

“I think the point is to keep it on the mattress. If it was just like the top sheet, it’d shift,” Dean explained as he grabbed Cas’s sheet and shook it out. 

"I see." He didn't, but it didn't matter. He was just fascinated by watching Dean putting the "bitchy" sheet in its place. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean smiled at him and shrugged. “No biggie.”

"That was the last thing... We’re... moved in." There was a weird feeling in his chest again. And he felt a smile tugging at his lips. Happiness.

Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder and said, “Then it’s time for pizza, booze, and Netflix.”

Cas had no idea if he could eat the pizza, but he sure would try to drink a beer – even if it was just so Dean wouldn’t drink alone. He hoped they wouldn’t watch a western on Netflix. The only enjoyable thing about that was seeing Dean smile the whole time, mouthing the lines when the characters talked, because he seemed to know them by heart. But more often than not, Dean had caught him staring, and chastised him for not watching the movie.

“Okay, you call the pizza man…” Cas paused at that, wondering why he suddenly felt a tingle in his stomach. His bodily reactions were hard to suppress nowadays. “And I’ll call Sam, tell him we made it here safely and found a new home.”

Dean nodded and pulled out his cellphone, clearly looking for a pizza place online as he headed towards the kitchen.

Cas picked up his cellphone from the table in the kitchen when he followed Dean before he went outside the house, sitting down on the steps of the wooden patio. The sun was slowly setting, painting the forest in warm colors and, for a moment, Cas closed his eyes and enjoyed the fresh air on his exposed arms. It was peaceful. Almost like how he felt back in Heaven.

He could feel the smile on his face when he dialed Sam's number, holding the phone to his ear as he waited for Dean's brother to pick up.

“Hey, Cas!” Sam greeted, background noise of a public setting in the background.

Cas noticed how carefree and happy Sam sounded, and it made him feel lighter himself. "Hello, Sam. I'm just calling to tell you that Dean and I just moved into our new home. I'm not sure if Dean already texted you the address."

“He did. Eileen and I are going to see if we can get time off work to come visit soon. How is it? Is it nice?”

"It's beautiful. Remote, peaceful. It's perfect. We can't wait for you two to visit us. I hope we can have a..." He had forgotten the word Dean had used. "Home heating party when you visit us."

Sam barked out a laugh. “House warming,” he corrected. “And definitely. I…” A loud siren blared in the background. “It’s kinda loud here, Cas. Can I call you back later tonight?”

"Of course. Are you okay? Where are you?" Cas couldn't help but feel worried for a moment.

“Yeah, just walking to meet Eileen for dinner at a restaurant downtown.”

"Oh, so you’re on a date. Then I don't want to keep you, Sam. Say hello from Dean and me to her, please." Cas liked how human this conversation made him feel. It was a really nice feeling.

“Yeah, yeah, I will! And we’ll let you guys know when we can get time off!”

"Alright," Cas replied awkwardly and ended the call. He still hadn't mastered the skill of ending a call in a non weird way, but in his defense Sam was a very bad role model in this matter. He had hung up on Cas so often that Cas had thought this was the normal way to end a call, until Dean had told him otherwise one day.

Dean came out through the patio door with two beers and a content smile on his face. “Should be here in the next thirty or forty minutes,” he said as he handed Cas one of the beers. “How’s Sammy?”

He sat down next to Cas on the stairs and, for a moment, Cas just admired the carefree smile on Dean's face. The way the corner of his eyes crinkled and there were golden flecks in his irises from the steep angle of sunlight falling on them. "He sounded very happy. He was on his way to a date with Eileen." He tilted his head, playing with the label on the bottle. "Is it common to still go on dates when you're already married?"

Dean took a swig of his beer with a shrug. “I’m guessin’?”

“You don’t know?” Cas always assumed Dean knew everything about humans.

He looked sideways at Cas, brow arched in amusement. “I’ve never been married, Cas. I can’t say.”

Cas frowned sightly and shook his head. "Maybe I should have phrased my question differently. Would you still go on dates if you were married? Because I had the impression dates had the sole purpose of leading to intercourse."

Dean chuckled as he stared at his bottle, turning it in his palm. “There’s different kinds of dating.”

"There is?" Cas asked in surprise before he hesitantly tasted his beer. When the liquid made contact with his tongue he could taste it, but there were faint traces of molecules that made him aware how the components of this liquid were bound together. He scrunched up his nose. That was a strange mixture of two different tastes.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, neck craned to look at Cas again, “there’s getting to know you dates, getting our bang on dates, first dates, and we like spending time together dates.”

Cas tried to file this information away. He wanted to learn as much about humanity as possible now that he and Dean were trying to live a normal life, away from hunting. He knew he still had so much to learn. "So I guess Sam and Eileen still go on dates because they like to spend time together."

“Exactly,” Dean said with a soft smile. He clinked his bottle against Cas’s. “To enjoying spending time together.”

Cas squinted his eyes at Dean for a moment, wondering how Dean meant those words. Was he saying that he was happy for Sam and Eileen, or because he liked to spend time with Cas? Which wouldn’t make sense to compare since they weren’t on a date. He thoughtfully fiddled with the label of the bottle again. 

His short adventure into the world of dating had showed him one thing for sure. That he was absolutely clueless about how those dynamics worked. Humans were complicated. There were so many unwritten rules about interacting with each other. “What is the difference between a date and just spending time together?”

“Dates tend to involve kissing or touching of some kind that you wouldn’t do with a friend. Like what we’re doing is hanging out, if we were on a date, there’d be some kind of physical intimacy. Does that make sense?”

That actually made a lot of sense. “I just wish sometimes people were more... direct about what they want." He thought back on the one time he had thought he was invited out on a date. And how embarrassed he had felt when that hadn't been the case.

Dean chuckled and knocked his knee against Cas’s. “It ain’t always easy to tell people what you want.”

Cas took in a deep sigh and nodded. "Which leads to a lot of misunderstandings. Like the movies you like to watch on Netflix, the ones with the complicated, but also funny love stories."

“You’re never gonna let me live it down are you? Walking in on me watching _ While You Were Sleeping.” _

Cas tilted his head. "I still don't understand why you feel so embarrassed about that. You like movies. I already know that." And then he remembered that Dean had some tapes hidden in an extra box in the Impala that he only played when Sam wasn’t there. “Oh, is this thing about the movies the same thing like the tape box you hide under your seat?”

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Exactly. I lose my man club membership.”

"I have never seen you active in a club before."

Dean shook his head as he laughed again, taking a swig of his beer with a smirk. “One of these days you’re gonna shock the shit out of me and get I’m using an expression.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him. So he had used an expression. Which probably meant there was no club and it was only a metaphor. He tried to think about it, hoping his interpretation was right this time. "You think liking those things makes you less of a man?" He knew by now that humans were weird about everything concerning their gender.

At that, Dean let out a mirthless chuckle. _ “Don’t you cry, Dean. Stop being a girl.” _Cas might not be very good at understanding all of the aspects of human intonation and inflection, but it was clear Dean was quoting something that was said to him. 

"Whoever said that to you doesn't sound like he respected women. If you phrase it like that, it almost sounds like it was intended as an insult." Which was weird. He knew for a fact that women were stronger than men in a lot of aspects. His father had made them this way so they could bear carrying and bringing new life into the world.

Dean finished off his beer and cleared his throat. “Yeah, well… a six year old being told that by his father isn’t gonna get that.” 

Cas turned to him and grabbed his arm to make Dean look at him. "Well, I won't ever judge you for listening to your secret tapes or watching those movies. It is something you like and obviously makes you happy. And all I want is for you to be happy."

Dean looked down at Cas’s hand for a moment before he turned back to Cas. “I know you won’t, Cas.”

Cas was suddenly aware he was touching Dean and he quickly drew back his hand. He knew Dean didn't like that. He didn't seem to have a problem touching Cas in return, but whenever Cas did it, it seemed to be weird for him. 

He took another sip from his bottle. "If you want, we can watch one of those movies together. I mean, you can do what you want when no one is around to judge. It's our house."

And it felt great saying that. "Our home," Cas repeated.

Dean gave him a genuine smile then. “Ours.”

They were interrupted by a car with a lit up sign on it driving up the street to their remote house. It was the pizza man. He didn’t look half naked and muscled like in the movie. He was a young teenager with pimples and a moody attitude. Cas wasn’t sure why he had expected something else.

Dean handed him a twenty and told him to keep the change as he nodded for Cas to follow him inside the house. “Powered down enough to share this with me?”

“I'm not sure. The beer tastes like a mixture of beer and molecules. So the pizza is either disgusting or it isn't." Cas sighed. He really couldn't say without trying. "If I can't eat it, you have to eat my share."

“That won’t be a problem,” he said with a smirk.

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle. It wasn’t often that it happened, but Dean would say the funniest things sometimes. 

Dean dropped the pizza on the coffee table before he went back to the kitchen. “Want another beer? Even though it’s a little molecule-y?”

Cas thought about it for a moment. He felt the alcohol working so he took that as a good sign. "Yes, I think it's working."

There was some shuffling in the kitchen before Dean returned to the living room, handing him an opened bottle and a couple of paper towels before he dropped down on the couch in front of the table. “Yeah, you must be powered down if one beer is working.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes, it's getting worse."

Dean gave him a worried look and knocked his knee into Cas’s. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

Cas shook his head, giving Dean a reassuring smile. "It's okay. I'm not actually sorry about that."

“Really?” he asked, tone a little disbelieving.

Cas leaned back against the couch to look at Dean. "It's nothing I can change. And maybe now... it will be easier to live like a human. I would have more problems with it if we still lived like hunters."

Dean nodded as he popped open the box and grabbed a slice. “And no urges to use drugs and sex to cope?”

Cas frowned and tilted his head. "Why would I feel urges for that?"

He shook his head as he took a bite of the pizza. “No reason.”

Cas raised his eyebrow in disbelief before he demanded, "Talk to me."

Dean sighed and took a swig of his beer as he sank back against the couch. “Remember when Zachariah shot me five years into the future?”

Cas remembered. It had been a very significant moment in his life, although Dean didn't know that. He could still feel the fluttery feeling in his chest when he remembered how Dean looked at him after Cas had saved him from Zachariah. The way his hand had felt on his shoulder, and how Dean had said those words with so much relief and need.

_ Don't ever change. _

"I remember."

“I ever tell you you were there in the future?”

"You told me that it was the apocalypse and Sam had said yes to Lucifer." Dean hadn't told him much more. Probably because it had been a very disturbing experience for him.

Dean nodded and sighed again. “Yeah, well… you were there and what’s happening to you now had happened to that version of you.”

“I didn’t have my powers?” Cas asked, and it wasn’t so much the surprise about this fact, but more about that he had even appeared to be in this alternate world. Because Zachariah couldn’t create a future. He could see into a human brain and toy with fears and worries about a future that could be. Which meant if he had been in this world, a part of Dean had wanted him to be there. And Zachariah had used all of that to frighten Dean, to get him to say yes to Michael.

“No,” he said before he took another swig of his beer, “and being mostly human, future you used drugs and orgies to cope. Popping amphetamines to offset absinthe kind of self-medicating. And while you were funny, you were so… broken.” Dean sounded truly upset about that.

"Funny?" Cas asked with a raised eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like me." He just wanted Dean to stop being upset.

Dean shook his head as he let out a soft huff of laughter. “You were. Sarcastic as hell, too.”

He wondered if he should tell Dean that this world wasn't a real futuristic prediction but more like a nightmare of his imagination. He was happy that he knew now that this had probably been the reason Dean told him to never change. 

Cas looked at his lap with a soft smile. It meant that Dean had been worried about him. Even in those early stages of their friendship. It was a nice feeling. “Maybe you had ‘rubbed off’ on me.” He hoped he was using the phrase correctly.

Dean shrugged. “Maybe. Future me wasn’t very fun, though.”

"He had no reason to be," Cas explained before he sighed and looked up at Dean's face, having made a decision. "Dean... you don't need to worry. I won't end up being like that. The world Zachariah made you see... it wasn't real. Zachariah didn't have the power to create alternate worlds or even send you to one. He used your fears and caught you in a nightmare that he controlled." 

Dean furrowed his brow, fixing him with an incredulous expression. “None of that was real?”

“I know it was real for you... But he used your worries and fears to create this nightmare." It made sense to him that Dean had pictured him as human in this world. Pretty early on in their relationship Dean had stopped treating him as an angel, putting Cas on the same level as himself. Cas knew Dean judged him differently from his brothers. He knew that because Dean had told him as much after Cas got angry with him because he insulted him again by saying that all angels were dicks. Dean had explained to him that it didn’t include Cas in his mind because Cas was family. In his mind Cas wasn't an angel, but something else.

“So, this won’t break you?” he asked softly.

Cas shook his head. "I'm actually... content." He gave him a soft smile. "I never wanted anything for myself before and for the first time... becoming human isn't daunting anymore. I'm looking forward to enjoying it this time."

Dean smiled at that and patted his knee. “Good.”

Cas had noticed that Dean had gotten more generous with displaying physical gestures of affection. He liked that a lot. He had hoped that this experience, looking for a new home together and starting a normal life, would bring them closer as friends. "I'm very happy that we are doing this."

“Pizza for dinner?” He asked with a chuckle as he grabbed another slice.

Cas looked down at his lap with a smile before he took a small piece of pizza and carefully balanced it on his hand. "Yes, and the beer," he tried to joke back.

He gave the pizza a suspicious look, trying to prepare himself for it to probably taste disgusting, before he carefully nipped at the cheesy front. At first he tasted nothing, his grace was still suppressing everything, but then he tried to actively analyze it.

He should have tasted the molecules, but instead it had the opposite effect and the barrier of his grace crashed, letting the pizza sauce and cheese explode against his taste buds. He gasped and took another bite, the fresh tomato juice causing goosebumps to rise on his arms. This was amazing.

Dean chuckled as he quirked his brow at him. “Good?”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look and nodded, slowly pulling the pizza away from his mouth. The cheese pulled a long line where it didn't get separated by his teeth. He went a little cross eyed, wiggling the pizza in his hand to separate the cheese somehow.

Dean barked out a laugh as he leaned forward, putting his beer back on the table.

Cas gave Dean a pointed look as he lowered the pizza in his hand, the cheese strand was still unbothered by this. He frowned, holding the pizza over his head, but the cheese was still hanging there, not coming loose. So he took another, bigger bite. It separated the cheese strand but now it was hanging off his chin instead of in his mouth. 

Pizza eating didn't seem to be an easy task. 

Dean shook his head as he wiped the mirth from his eyes. He grabbed the cheese off of his chin and smiled at him. “I’m half tempted to buy you a bib.”

Cas swallowed and glared at Dean. "Should you really be the judge about eating habits?"

“Don’t be bitchy,” he said with a laugh as he handed Cas a napkin.

Cas grabbed it with an eye roll, and patted the sauce that the cheese had left from his chin before he carefully continued to eat. "It tastes really amazing. I'm glad I can enjoy food again. I missed this."

Dean smiled and nodded. “It’ll be nice to actually share meals with you.”

"This also means you can't use me as an excuse anymore to eat a second burger," Cas reminded him dryly.

“Downside right there.” 

"I'm pretty sure your body will thank you in the long run."

Dean rolled his eyes. “You get we aren’t married, right?”

Cas was taken aback by that. "Of course. What did I say that makes you think otherwise?"

“Nagging me about my eating habits,” he said with a soft laugh as he grabbed his beer again.

"I don't see the connection. Sam does that all the time, why is it different coming from me?"

Dean chuckled and smirked at him. “I gave him shit for being a nagging wife, too.”

Cas hesitated for a moment before he looked down at his lap. "I can't heal you anymore."

“What?” He asked with a mouthful of food.

Cas looked up at Dean. This was the only power he was really struggling with losing. If something happened to Dean he couldn't heal him. "You need to take care of yourself... I can't heal you anymore."

Dean fixed him with an incredulous expression. “How often you been healing me on the sly?”

Cas looked away for a moment before he mumbled, "Every time you got hurt... I healed everything. Not just your injuries. I leveled your blood pressure, cleaned out the arteries, cleansed your body from infection and I even… fixed your teeth when pieces broke off after a fight.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

Cas gave Dean a determined look, ready to defend himself. "I'm not going to apologize."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not mad.”

Cas released a deep breath (he hadn’t even been aware of holding) in relief. "Good." He bit his lower lip for a moment before he added, "This is the only power I really regret losing. I’m afraid something will happen to you and I won’t be able to help you."

“Could always teach you the old fashioned methods, but hopefully that won’t be something we have to deal with anymore.”

Cas gave him a quick smile and nodded. "I would still feel better if I knew. I'd like to learn."

Dean smiled. “Sure thing. We can start lessons whenever you want.”

“Maybe tomorrow?” Cas asked before he frowned and shook his head. “No, actually… I wanted to drive into the town. See if I’ll find a job.”

“Yeah. Something we should both do,” he said with a sigh as he sank back against the couch again.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, leaning his head against the headrest of the couch, because he started to feel tired.

Dean nodded as he rested his head against the back of the couch as well. “Yeah, just a long day.”

"I actually feel tired. We did a lot today." Cas let his gaze wander through their cozy little living room. "I like our house a lot."

Dean smiled, eyes closed. “Me too.”

Cas turned his head and used the moment to look at Dean. He looked younger somehow when he was relaxed and tired. "We have a garden in the back... I want to plant things if you're okay with that."

Dean shrugged, still not opening his eyes. “Sure, can’t see why not.”

"I want to grow vegetables and flowers for... bees," Cas added quietly, unable to take his eyes off of Dean.

“You and your goddamn bees,” he said with a soft chuckle as he turned to look at Cas with an amused smile.

"I like them. And we could have honey."

Dean shrugged again. “Whatever makes you happy.”

Cas raised his eyebrow at him. "Don't tell me you don't like honey."

“I didn’t say that, but I’m cool with buying it at the store.”

"But we wouldn't need to," Cas replied softly, his eyes still fixed on Dean's green ones.

Dean chuckled and shrugged again. “As long as I don’t have to go near the bees.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him. "Are you afraid of them?" He had no idea.

He arched his brow at him in challenge. “You read Chuck’s gospels. You remember _ Bugs.” _

Actually he hadn't read them. He only knew what they had been destined to become. Not that that mattered anymore. They had changed the future in a profound way. "There is no reason to be afraid of them. Bees don't sting as long as they don't feel threatened by you. A sting always means certain death for the bee itself."

“I know, _ School House Rock. _ Doesn’t mean I’m cool with stinging bugs.”

"I don't understand that reference," Cas breathed out.

Dean chuckled and nodded. “I know you don’t.”

“Why do you use them when you know that I don’t understand them?” Cas asked with a head shake. 

“Honestly? They just come out.”

"That's good to know. I was starting to believe you just like to confuse me."

Dean flashed him a cheeky grin. “Well, that’s just a perk.”

Cas squinted his eyes at Dean. "How is that a perk?"

That was met with another shrug. “You’re fun to confuse?” he offered.

Cas frowned at Dean. “I don’t think it’s particularly funny. Just confusing.”

Dean chuckled and clasped his shoulder. “I didn’t say it was fun for you,” he said with a wink.

“That’s not very nice," Cas complained, but he didn't mind seeing Dean smile so much. It didn't matter that it was at his expense.

“You’ve known me for years; you know I’m not nice.”

That sadly was true. Sam was a lot nicer. Not always, but most of the time. "You could try to be nice. Since we live together it may have some perks. Like me making you coffee in the mornings, or a sandwich."

Dean chuckled. “You do that anyway.”

That was also true._ Damnit. _ Cas rolled his eyes. "Just because you’re an angry sleeper. Like a bear. You're scary in the mornings, and I learned to have a coffee ready for you."

“In my defense, I barely know English prior to coffee. I can’t be expected to be nice to angels that wake me up, no matter how good their puppy eyes are.”

He realized too late that he was doing the "puppy eyes," Dean was referring to in that moment. He had noticed that doing this facial expression sometimes resulted in Dean forgiving him quicker than he usually did. "So what about the rest of the day? You could be nicer then."

Dean sighed and nodded. “You’re right.”

Cas leaned back in surprise. He hadn't expected that response. "Oh... okay. Thank you, Dean. I appreciate it."

There was a beat of silence before Dean finally responded, “I know I’m an asshole to you most of the time. It’s… I don’t know. But for what it’s worth, I'm sorry.”

He hadn't wanted to make Dean feel guilty about it, so he quickly shook his head. "No, it's okay. I mean, I'm pretty sure I deserved it for being 'a dick'. I’ll try to be a better friend to you."

Dean shrugged. “You haven’t been a dick in a minute.”

Cas gave him a weak smile. "I try to make up for my past mistakes."

Dean sat upright then, extending his hand to Cas in a handshake. “I vote for a new start. Instead of us trying to make up for our mistakes, let’s take this new life for what it is. A redo. Deal?”

Cas really liked the idea. He grabbed Dean's hand and shook it with a soft smile. "Yes, deal." He rubbed his thumb over Dean's hand, giving him another smile. "I'm very happy."

Dean returned in kind with his own soft smile. “Me too, Cas.”

Cas tentatively let go of Dean's hand, looking down at his lap with another smile. "Do you want to watch some TV?"

“Definitely,” he said as he leaned forward to grab the remote control and another slice of pizza.

Cas leaned back and resumed to nip at his own slice. He still ate slowly, expecting, with every bite, to lose the gift of human taste. 

He watched Dean flip through the channels until he stopped at a scene where a beautiful woman slapped a beautiful man with a smoldering look.

Dean quirked his brow at Cas and asked, “No judgement, right?”

Cas frowned at him. "Why would I judge you?" No matter how many times Dean explained these things, he would never understand why people would judge others for what they liked on TV. 

Dean shook his head. “I didn’t think you would. I was confirming what you said to me earlier.”

Maybe he was too tired to follow the conversation, because he wasn't sure what Dean expected from him. So he just nodded and leaned back into the couch. A couch that, he noticed, was very cozy and seemed to suck him in. He quietly drank the rest of his beer, his eyes drooping as he tried to follow what happened on TV.

He didn't get it. There was a lot of drama and a woman with a lot of crazy black hair yelling at a man she had slept with for some reason. The man looked ragged, but still handsome, trying to calm the woman down and telling her that he loved her, but it seemed that she was already engaged to someone else.

The whole movie consisted of weirdly beautiful people. Cas learned that this type of entertainment had the least to do with mirroring reality, so he tried not to learn from it, this supposed guide for how humans interact with other humans. He had made this mistake a few times, the last time when he took advice from a police show on how to act as a bad cop. He knew by now that TV and reality weren't always the same.

Dean chuckled and nodded to Cas. “She won best actress for this role.”

"She is yelling a lot," Cas stated dryly.

“She’s Italian,” he said, as though that were an actual answer.

"I didn't expect her to slap that poor man. He seems so nice," Cas pondered, trying to sink deeper into the couch.

Dean shrugged and ho-hummed. “He ain’t all that innocent; she’s engaged to his brother and ‘cause he blames his brother for losing his hand, he basically feels justified in seducing her.”

"So he doesn't really love her and just wants to ruin his brother's life?" Cas asked, trying to understand it.

“Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. She doesn’t actually love his brother. She’s a widow who basically agreed to marry the guy because she wanted to be married, and she ends up falling in love with his brother.”

"Oh... that sounds very complicated." Cas rubbed his hand over his eyes. "I don't know why she slapped him and was unpleased with him telling her that he loved her. I thought she would be happy her feelings are reciprocated."

Dean chuckled and held his hand out as he explained, “‘Cause she’s not supposed to love him, right? She’s engaged to his brother. Sometimes people feel like they aren’t allowed to feel what they feel for other people, no matter how asinine it is.”

"It's sad. They could be happy with each other if they were honest about their feelings," Cas murmured quietly. But this was actually something he understood. It wasn't always good to tell the truth. Especially when feelings weren't reciprocated. “I mean, at least she knows how he feels.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like that makes it easier for her, when she feels like she shouldn’t be falling in love with him,” he argued as he stood up and gave him another smile. “Gonna grab another beer. You want one?”

Cas shook his head. "I already feel very affected by it." And he didn't want to experience another hangover. He hated having a headache.

Dean chuckled and nodded before he disappeared for a minute, returning shortly, holding a beer. He flashed Cas another smile and dropped onto the couch. “We don’t have to keep watching this. Is there anything you want to watch?”

Cas slowly shook his head. "I'm fine with whatever you want."

“There’s nothin’ that _ you _want to watch?”

Cas looked up at Dean, feeling really tired now. "I like watching documentaries about nature. But I know that you think they are boring."

Dean chuckled and patted his knee. “You need to go to sleep?”

"No, I'm fine." He still hated the concept of needing to sleep. He hated the nightmares. 

“You sure? ‘Cause you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I'm sure. I try to avoid sleeping as long as possible."

Dean furrowed his brow as he looked at him. “I know human things suck, but you don’t have to try and stop them from happening.”

"I only try to hold on to not needing to sleep. The rest is okay. Sleeping is not," Cas explained tiredly.

“Why?” The question wasn’t accusatory, more bemused than anything else.

He didn't really want to tell Dean. "I just don't like not being conscious." Which was somewhat true. 

Dean arched his brow as he took a swig of his beer. “That an angel thing?”

He nodded slowly. "If you're not used to being vulnerable for over a million years and then suddenly you are... You can imagine how that can be unnerving."

He gave Cas a small smile. “We could always get you a night light? Maybe a stuffed animal?”

"Are you trying to mock me?" Cas asked slowly, not sure if Dean really meant that.

Dean patted Cas’s knee. “A little, but you never know. Maybe that’d work for you…”

“A stuffed toy? How would that make me feel like going to sleep?” 

“Comfort? Companionship? Something to cuddle?” He offered before taking another swig of his beer.

"From a stuffed toy? Doesn’t that only work for children?" Cas asked, because that had been the reason he bought a stuffed toy for Claire.

Dean chuckled. “If you want to get technical. But didn’t we say no judgement?”

"I wasn't judging. I was just asking if it would help." Cas gave him a tired smile.

“You never know?” Dean returned the smile before he changed the channel to a cartoon about a family of five in a restaurant.

Cas didn't pay attention though. He rested his head against the couch backrest so he could watch Dean out of the corner of his eye. It didn't take long, though, for everything to turn to black.

Dean couldn’t help the chuckle as he watched the angel knock out next to him like a falling tree. He would have said, “Timber,” but the guy was fast asleep; and even if he wasn’t, it’s not like he’d get the joke.

It had been a helluva few days, between the drive, shopping for furniture, then setting everything up; Dean was surprised he was conscious. But he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep for a minute.

Even though this was his second real home, a home that wasn’t being used as a front or a short stay while on a hunt, but a real _ home… _it was hard to shut off his hunter instincts. 

He wasn’t familiar enough with the surroundings, the state, the layout of their house. Dean probably wouldn’t be able to rest until he’d had every inch of the layout memorized and an emergency plan in place, in case of another apocalypse.

Dean knew it was stupid, he knew that the British Men of Letters were handling the monster problem in the states and he was grateful, if a little resentful.

Hunting had been Dean Winchester’s entire life, since he was four years old. It was all he knew and he was damn good at what he did. And now, here he was, pushing forty and feeling a little lost for the first time in a very long time.

He jumped on Cas’s suggestion, to try and live normal lives, but it was mostly because he had no other choice. Not really. He could have spent the rest of his days drinking away his misery lost in a bunker of nostalgia for how things used to be… or he could suck it up and try something new. 

And really try this time. Not the half-assed attempt with Lisa all of those years ago. 

Dean sighed as he looked at the sleeping angel. His trench coat was draped over the back of the couch, so Dean grabbed it and pulled it over Cas. He pushed the angel’s shaggy hair from his peaceful face. 

Another way he could tell Cas’s mojo was low. His hair was a little longer. And it wasn’t a bad look on him. Dean could already see the fumbled responses to the amount of women that would hit on him. 

He smiled at his sleeping friend, feeling weirdly content in that moment. Dean sank back against the couch and half watched Bob’s Burgers, in between bouts of checking on Cas.

When Louise almost electrocuted Tina in her endeavor to accurately portray Thomas Edison’s execution of the elephant Topsy, the sounds around him slowly started to blend into background noise. 

He startled awake, unsure how much time had passed. Netflix was stuck on the prompt screen, asking if he was still watching the show, so he knew he’d knocked out for a couple of hours.

He knew now what had startled him awake. Cas was sleeping with his head rested on his chest and for some reason Dean had put his arms around him. He seemed to be having a nightmare because his body was slightly shaking and he was mumbling something, sounding distressed.

Dean gently started rubbing Cas’s arm as he hushed him. “Shhh, Cas. You’re okay.”

Cas whimpered, pressing his face closer to Dean’s chest. “No, please. I won't hurt Dean,” Cas mumbled.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed as he sat up a little, gently shaking Cas’s shoulder.

“Dean, run!” Cas shouted desperately before he startled awake. Wide awake and shocked eyes stared at him after Cas had pushed himself upwards, breathing heavily like he had run a marathon. “Dean?” It sounded broken, like he was confused about what had happened.

Dean looked him over, knowing the concern was evident. “What’s goin’ on, Cas?”

Cas blinked at him, his hand reaching out before he stopped himself and quickly pulled back. He looked away and shook his head, taking in a deep, shuddered breath. “Just a dream,” he mumbled.

Dean shook his head. “The hell are you dreaming about?”

“I apologize if I woke you up.” Cas stood up from the couch, his face a mask and Dean realized his friend didn’t want to talk about it. He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t even remember falling asleep. I’ll make you a coffee.” And with those words Cas walked over to the kitchen, busying himself making breakfast.

Dean followed him, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Cas in the kitchen. “After I lost you to the Leviathan, I had nightmares about you for months.”

Cas froze in his movement before he started to further fill the coffee pot. “I don’t have nightmares… they are memories I keep reliving in my dream. That’s why I don't like sleeping.”

“Six of one,” he said with a shrug, “mine were mostly memories of you walking into that lake.”

Cas was quiet for a moment, and Dean hated not being able to see his face. “How long does it take for them to go away?”

Dean sighed. “It depends. Even after I got you back, they still happened for a minute.”

Cas started the coffee maker and turned around, giving him a confused look. “I… I'm surprised you're telling me this…”

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked. Yeah, it was weird he was being so honest, but he had meant it when he said this was a redo. Dean wanted to approach life a little differently and Cas was safe, judgement free. If he could try his hand at being a real, functioning adult, he figured outright honesty about similar experiences was part of that.

Cas slowly shook his head and gave him a soft smile. “I like that we can talk to each other. It’s still difficult to do sometimes… But I trust you.”

Dean returned the soft smile as he stepped into the kitchen. “Figured we should start somewhere with this whole new leaf, redo thing.”

Cas nodded before he started preparing a sandwich. “It’s difficult when the past still haunts me. There hasn't been a single time since I slept where those memories haven’t–” Cas let the knife sink to the counter, murmuring, ”I hate this. I hate how much they still affect me.”

He chuckled mirthlessly before leaning against the counter to look at Cas, arms crossed over his chest. “I can’t promise they’ll stop, but if you ever need to talk, or someone to sit with you in silence, well… you know where I live.”

“Where you live…” Cas looked up at him before he suddenly broke out into a bright smile. A smile that turned into a soft laugh. He had never seen Cas laugh like that before. It was kind of a shock, but a good one.

Dean smiled and nodded. “You should laugh more.”

Cas suddenly looked away, almost embarrassed before he handed Dean a plate with the sandwich he had made. “Maybe now I’ll have a reason to,” he mumbled.

He wasn’t really hungry, but Cas had gone to the trouble, so he picked up the sandwich and took a huge bite. “What do you want to do today?” he asked, mouth still full.

Cas turned around to make another sandwich. “I want to look for a job after breakfast… I’m hungry.”

“Sure, we can do that. I’ll grab all of Jimmy’s ID’s for you out of the cigar box.”

“Do you think I can safely use Jimmy’s name from now on?” Cas asked slowly before he bit into his own sandwich with a low moan, closing his eyes.

Dean let out a soft laugh, shaking his head at the angel. It was nice to know some things never changed. Like how enthusiastic his best friend was about taste when he could taste. “Yeah, I mean, his perfect credit got us this place.”

"Are you going to use a different name here too?" Cas asked curiously before he took another similar enthusiastic bite from his sandwich.

Dean nodded. “Sammy created a couple of legit ID’s with birth certificates and social security cards by snaking old newspapers and using the names of infants who died around the time we were born. So, I’ll have to check what name he gave me.”

“I hope it’s still Dean. I would love to use your real name in our new life.”

Dean chuckled. “You still can. People go by their middle names or different names all the time. So, whatever my name is, I’m gonna tell people to call me Dean.”

Cas nodded before he asked with a frown. "Should I do the same? Tell people they should call me Cas?"

“If you want, absolutely. It’s real easy to get people to call you whatever you want.”

Cas gave Dean a soft smile. "It's nice that we can stay Dean and Cas then."

Dean returned the smile. “We always would’ve here at home, Cas.”

"I know, but still." He looked away, a tiny shy smile playing around his lips. "It's nice not pretending to be someone else."

“Yeah, who would’ve thought getting to be yourself could feel so good, huh?”

"I did." Cas chuckled lowly as he prepared a coffee for Dean and handed him a mug.

And as usual, it was perfect. Hell, Cas had gotten so good at making his coffee, that he was better at it than Dean. So he never protested when the angel just started making it. “What kind of job are you looking into?”

"I'm hoping I can work at a Gas N' Sip again. Because that's the only work experience I have."

Dean nodded as he blew on his coffee. “We can map out the closest ones and see if any of them are hiring.”

"You don't need to help me, Dean," Cas replied in surprise. "I'm sure you have better things to do."

“Oh,” he said, feeling weirdly disappointed. He’d actually kind of looked forward to spending the day job hunting with Cas. “Sure.”

Cas seemed to have picked up on it though because he frowned at him and amended, "I mean... of course you can come... I just wanted you to know that you... don't have to help me. I have done this before."

Yeah, because Dean was a dick and kicked him to the curb his first go round as a human. “If you’d rather do it alone, I can figure out what I’m gonna do.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at Dean. "You can come with me, Dean. I don't mind... Maybe it will help you find a job for yourself, too." 

“Dude, you don’t gotta offer if you really don’t want to.”

"What makes you think I don't want to? I like spending time with you." Cas actually looked offended.

Dean shrugged. “You told me you didn’t need my help. I assumed it was code for: leave me alone, annoying human.”

Cas gave him a pointed look. "Dean, you’ve known me for such a long time. When have I ever spoken in 'code'?" And yep, he was doing the air quotes with his fingers.

Dean chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “Point. Well, I’m gonna grab a shower and then we can hit the road?”

Cas nodded before he looked down at himself. "I should take a shower as well. Just tell me when you're finished."

With a nod, Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder and made his way upstairs to his bathroom. Cas wasn’t particularly bothered about rooms, so he let Dean have the master, giving him his own bathroom. Something Dean had never had. Maybe this normal life shit had more perks than he realized.

**** ****

It was a good day. Cas had been very lucky because after two hours of driving around, getting to know the area, they hadn't just found a dresser for Cas’s room, but Cas had also found a job. 

It wasn’t a Gas N’ Sip, but a small local grocery store, McPherson’s Market, that was hiring. The job was similar to his old job at the Gas N’ Sip, so Cas felt confident that he could do it. 

The older man in charge, Allan McPherson, had a very friendly face and almost white hair. He seemed to like Cas, patting him on the shoulder at the end of their conversation, telling him he could recognize a loyal and good worker when he saw one. For a moment, Cas hadn’t understood until Allan asked him if he could start on Monday.

Of course Cas nodded enthusiastically, before he listened to Allan’s instructions on when to come in to be shown around. He learned that sometimes Allan’s daughter Maggie helped out, or Allan’s wife Karen. But Karen had become ill recently, so he needed someone to help.

Dean had waited for him in front of the newspapers, looking up with a smile when they approached. Cas gave him a thumbs up before he introduced Dean to Allan. “This is my best friend, Dean Winchester. We moved up here together. Dean, this is Allan McPherson, the owner of this store. He has hired me.”

Allan reached out his hand to shake Dean’s with a friendly smile. “Nice to meet you, Dean.”

Dean nodded and took the handshake. “Nice to meet you too. Nice place you got here.”

“The nicest.” He looked between them before he asked, “How did you guys meet?” 

Dean had told Cas that this would be a question people were going to ask about their past, so they had decided to stick as much to the truth as possible. “We were both soldiers for a very long time,” Cas explained with a soft smile. “And some time ago we decided to try a normal life.”

Allan’s expression changed into a knowing one as he nodded slowly. “There is a time to fight and a time to rest. I hope you two find the peace you’re seeking.”

Cas nodded and gave him a soft smile. “I think we did.”

Dean wanted to buy the local newspaper for jobs, so Cas asked Allan if he could work on the register to show him that he could do it. Allan told him that he liked Cas’s enthusiasm and watched him as Cas typed in the newspaper and opened the register. He smiled up at Dean, saying, “It’s a dollar sixty-five.”

Dean chuckled and handed him two bucks. 

Cas gave him the change with a smile. "Thank you. Have a nice day." He looked at Allan to confirm he had done well, and the older man gave him a smile and a nod. 

"I’ll see you on Monday then."

Cas nodded and shook Allan's hand. "Yes. Thank you for giving me this opportunity."

They said their goodbyes and Cas followed Dean outside the store, walking back to the Impala, because Dean had insisted on driving. "I have a job," Cas stated happily as he got into the car.

“Not a bad day, huh?” Dean asked with a small chuckle as he started the engine. 

"It's been a really good day. I have a good feeling about this town and our new start." Cas leaned back against the seat, taking in the grounding smell of leather and home that this car had started to mean for him. 

Dean flashed him a quick smile as he shifted the vehicle into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. “It’s kind of awesome how much better you’ve gotten at human interaction.” His tone was light, teasing… but there was also a sincerity to it.

"You think so?" Cas asked carefully. He had hoped he would be better by now. He didn't really feel confident about his skills because more often than not there were still situations that left him confused.

“Oh, yeah,” he said with another soft chuckle, “six years ago you would’ve probably scared the hell out of that sweet, old man, purely by accident.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm still afraid that might happen at some point." Even with Dean he understood only about sixty percent of what his friend was saying. Just that with Dean it didn't matter because his friend knew he wasn't human. Other people reacted either with pity or becoming suspicious, thinking Cas was weird.

Dean shrugged as he turned onto a back road. “I don’t know, Cas. You’ve gotten good at picking up when people are weirded out.”

"By the time I realize I'm weirding people out it’s already too late. I already did or said something wrong." He sighed and looked over at Dean. "Even when talking to you, I sometimes only understand half of what you're saying. I still have so much to learn."

“See? You’re getting better at faking it.” 

"Why?" Cas asked in confusion.

“When someone says something that confuses you, you keep quiet instead of asking, ‘cause you know how people might possibly react. So, what I’m saying is you’re getting better at reading people.” Dean flashed him another quick smile.

Cas really liked that smile. It was hard to look away from Dean when he looked like that. "The only problem is that I don't learn what I did wrong if I don’t ask. I can’t improve my knowledge."

Dean quirked his brow and returned his attention back to the road. “Then just ask me. I’ll break it down for you.”

Cas raised his eyebrow before he asked with a soft smile, "No judgement?"

Dean nodded. “Exactly.”

“You are aware that this includes rolling your eyes at me and getting impatient?”

“Does it really bother you that much?” His question wasn’t accusatory.

"It's the reason I stopped asking you to clarify things I don't understand," Cas admitted after a moment.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up momentarily before he drummed his thumbs against the steering wheel. “Sorry about that.”

Cas shook his head. "I imagine it can be annoying. It's not your responsibility to teach me about humans."

“Yeah, well… I shouldn’t make you feel worse about it.”

Cas hoped he hadn't made Dean uncomfortable with this conversation. He swallowed dryly before he said, "We decided this will be a new start. So river under a bridge. Is there anything about me that you want me to change?"

Dean arched his brow and shook his head. “I don’t want you to change.”

_ Don't ever change. _Cas gave Dean a big smile before shyness overwhelmed him and he needed to look away. He had no idea what to say to that. 

Luckily he didn’t have to, because Dean slowed down the Impala and Cas noticed there was someone stranded on the side of the road. The car had an open hood and fumes were coming from the engine.

He flashed Cas a smile and said, “I’ll be just a second.” Dean got out of the car, leaving it running as he approached the man by the broken down vehicle.

Cas watched Dean look over the car before he walked over to the trunk of the Impala to get something, and return to the other vehicle. Since it appeared Dean was going to help the middle aged man repair his car, Cas reached over to turn off the Impala’s engine. 

The middle aged man pointed at Dean’s car and said something, and Cas noticed how Dean was beaming at the other guy. Cas assumed the man had complimented the Impala. He felt the urge to get out of the car to see who that man was, but he assumed that Dean wanted him to stay in the car. 

Dean had vanished out of his line of sight, but he could see that they were talking to each other because of the other man’s body language. Cas hated that he couldn’t understand them. His hearing had leveled down to that of a human. So he just patiently waited for Dean to return, folding his hands in his lap. At least he tried to be patient. He noticed his leg starting to bounce. He wondered if there was anything angelic left in him when even his patience seemed to be affected.

Finally Dean closed the hood, and gestured for the driver to start his car. The guy got behind the wheel and Cas could hear the engine of the car coming to life, before the man got out again and enthusiastically shook Dean’s hand. His friend looked embarrassed and Cas couldn’t help but smile at the expression. They talked a little more and the guy handed Dean something before he got back into his car. Dean walked back to the Impala with a smile on his face. It was really nice to see.

When he slipped behind the wheel, Dean let out a soft laugh. “One helluva good day.”

“What happened?” Cas asked curiously.

“Apparently, that guy owns a little mechanic shop a couple miles south of here,” he said with a bright smile, “and he just offered me a job. We’re both employed, Cas.”

Cas's eyes widened before he breathed out a laugh. "If I believed fate was on our side..." He chuckled and shook his head. "That is amazing, Dean." 

Dean shook his head in amazement. “Next we’ll stumble on a winning lottery ticket or something.”

“I don’t believe we have that much luck.” Cas gave him another smile. “I would actually get suspicious then.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I’d definitely believe a Djinn got us.”

That was actually a scary thought. "You don't think that is what's actually happening?” Because it felt slightly unreal how happy Cas was in that moment. He knew he had never felt like this before.

There was a beat of silence before Dean gave Cas a half hearted shrug. “At this point? Fuck it, let it happen then.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. "I do not find the idea of getting my brain sucked out very comforting, no matter how happy I am right now."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know, Cas. I’m so damn happy, that I’m totally fine if this is the way I go out. Fair trade.”

Cas had no idea why his face suddenly grew heated. He looked down at his lap, cheeks almost hurting from how he was smiling. "I think I may not care that much as well. This is a very good day."

“I think we’ve earned ourselves a couple of bacon cheeseburgers, what do you think?” 

Cas looked up at Dean with a smile. "I like that idea very much." He still loved cheeseburgers. And he loved bacon.

Dean smiled as he leaned back against the seat, wrist draped against the steering wheel. “Use your phone to find us a little unknown Mom N’ Pop joint.”

Cas pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, googling for restaurants nearby as he asked, "So, where is this new job? When do you start?"

“He gave me his business card and told me to stop by on Monday.” Dean pulled it out of his shirt pocket and showed Cas.

_ Frank Saturn _

_ Outta This World Auto _

_ 7723 NE Fourth, Plain, WA _

Cas liked the colorful business card with the hand drawn saturn on it. It had a smiley face. "I studied the map of the town. It's not far from my work."

Dean smiled. “Well, depending on the shifts we work, we could probably carpool.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him. "Carpool?"

“Yeah,” he said in a breathy laugh. “Instead of both of us driving, I drop you off on my way to work and pick you up on my way back.”

There was the heat again. Cas wondered if something was wrong with his ves– his body. “That’s a good idea. This way we would also save money… that reminds me that I wanted to buy some plants and seeds today.”

Dean nodded as he turned onto a side road. “We can do that after our celebration lunch.”

"I feel like I have to remind you that I will eat my burger..." He looked over at Dean. "And the bacon, myself."

“Just as long as you don’t steal mine, I think I can live with that.”

"No promises," Cas replied dryly, feeling a playful smirk tugging at the edge of his lips.

Dean quirked his brow in challenge. “That’s alright. You steal my burger, I’ll hog all the peanut butter. No more PB and J for you.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. "You wouldn't do that."

“Don’t steal my burger and you won’t find out if I would.”

"What if I nibble on your bacon?" Cas asked, trying to sound innocent. Because Dean always stole the bacon from his plate in the past. 

Dean gave him a pointed look. “Don’t you steal my bacon, angel.”

Cas's body shuddered and he had no idea why he suddenly had goosebumps all over his body. He only knew it was related to the way Dean had called him ‘angel’. 

"Okay." He gave Dean a soft smile. "But only because it's you."

Dean chuckled and returned his attention to the road. “You excited to taste a burger again?”

"Yes!" Google had found a restaurant by now. "Turn right at the next road and it is on the second street on the left... I really missed burgers."

“I can tell,” he said with a smirk as he took the next right.

"Burgers, PB and J, and popcorn are my favorite foods. Oh, and burritos." He actually loved more food than that, but those were at the top of his list.

Dean chuckled. “So pretty much all the foods you’ve ever tried?”

“I forgot pizza,” Cas added to the list before he realized what Dean had said. “Oh, yes, that might be the case.”

“Clearly.” Dean flashed him another smile and started drumming his thumbs against the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing on his stereo.

“You think I will change my mind if I try different kinds of food?” Cas asked curiously, his eyes fixed on the drumming motion of Dean’s fingers.

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll genuinely like everything?”

"Taste is still overwhelming in a very positive way. Every human feeling is... My senses are so different now, like touch, and taste, and hearing, smelling, feeling."

Dean turned into the parking lot for the small diner Google had found. “So what’s your favorite of those things so far?”

"It's a tie between taste and..." He felt heat rising to his face again. "Feeling."

“Like what?”

Cas looked down at his lap, another wave of goosebumps running over his skin, making him shiver. "Like when I shower. Now I feel cold and warmth on my skin. It's a nice feeling."

Dean stopped the engine and patted Cas’s knee as he nodded to get out. “Well, let’s see if the burgers beat your goosebumps.”

His stomach did a weird flip at the touch and Cas looked up in surprise that Dean had noticed his goosebumps. He needed a moment to reply, suddenly feeling out of breath. "I told you, it's a tie. Tasting food is incredible."

“The only way to break a tie is to keep playing,” he said with a smirk as he got out of the car.

"So you think getting more experience will help me make a decision?" Cas asked, following Dean into the burger place. They found an empty booth at a window and Cas sat across from Dean, although his first instinct had been to sit next to him.

Dean shrugged as he pulled the small menus out from behind the mini jukebox at the end of the table by the window. “Sounds like it’d be a fun theory to test out either way, right? Like what’s better? A cheeseburger, or a kiss?”

"A cheeseburger," Cas replied without thinking. He had experienced kisses. Cheeseburgers were much better.

Dean chuckled and shook his head, as though he was about to say something and changed his mind, turning his attention to the menu.

"I know what I want. I’ll take the cheeseburger with bacon and a cherry milkshake, because I want to try something new." Cas put his menu down and looked at Dean with a smile. “What do you like better then?”

Dean shrugged. “It depends.”

“On what?” 

He closed his menu and locked his gaze with Cas’s. “On how good a kisser the person is.”

Cas tilted his head. "I guess the quality of the cheeseburger would also factor into the equation."

“Exactly.”

Cas rubbed his chin thoughtfully before they got interrupted by a waitress. The young woman had long blonde, curly hair and a nice figure. Very much the appearance of the type of woman Dean usually was interested in. He mentally prepared himself for Dean to start flirting with her. Cas told her what he wanted, trying to tune the rest of the conversation out. Not that he had ever been able to successfully tune Dean out.

Dean pulled out a couple of ones and smiled at her. “Could we also get some quarters for the mini jukebox?”

The waitress giggled and pushed his hand away. “It’s free. Just pick a song.”

Dean nodded and thanked her, before turning to flip through the catalogue in the mini jukebox.

Cas couldn’t help but be surprised by the lack of flirting from Dean’s end. The waitress definitely seemed to be interested. Not that Cas was surprised about that; Dean was a very attractive man. He leaned forward trying to see what he was doing. “What are you looking for?”

Dean smiled and shrugged. “Just seeing if there’s anything I really want to hear.”

“Something to celebrate this great day?” Cas asked with a smile.

At that Dean grinned and flipped through, evidently knowing what song he wanted to play. He selected it and sat back with a grin. “Now we just gotta wait for the songs ahead of it to finish playing.”

Cas hadn’t seen the song Dean selected, so he opted for watching Dean’s reaction to the next song to determine which one it was. 

The waitress came back with their drinks, leaning forward to show off her cleavage to get Dean’s attention. “Never seen you guys around here.”

Dean smiled as he opened the straw and dropped it into his Coke. “Just moved to the area.”

For a moment she looked confused as she turned around to look at Cas. “Both of you?” She asked.

Cas gave her a friendly smile that he didn’t feel like giving. “Yes, we live together.”

The waitress suddenly straightened her posture, expression almost disappointed for some reason before her smile changed from flirty to friendly. “I'm sure you will like it here. I hope to see you two becoming regulars. We serve fresh pie every Monday and Wednesday.”

Dean groaned and nodded. “Sold. I’ll be back on Monday.”

She smiled brightly and added, ”You're a cute couple,” before she bounced back to the kitchen.

Cas gave her a surprised looked, wondering why she had gone from flirting to presuming he and Dean were a couple. Not that he minded. The thought caused another wave of heat to warm his face, and his stomach felt like there were bees dancing in it. It was a nice feeling.

Dean chuckled and let out a soft scoff. “Unbelievable.”

Cas looked up at him with a confused look. “I thought she was flirting with you… that was surprising.”

“Was it? No matter where we go, people call us a couple. Even when we start over.” Dean shook his head and laughed as he returned his attention to slowly flipping through the catalogue on the jukebox.

Cas rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what he should say. “I'm sorry… I know you like women like her. We could correct her when she comes back.”

Dean shook his head, giving him a half smile as he pursed his lips. “Nah. It’s fine.”

Cas’s heart stumbled and he rubbed his hand over his chest. The heat in his face intensified, and he gave Dean a shy smile before he fiddled with the straw in his milkshake. He wrapped his lips around the straw to carefully try it, raising his eyebrow in surprise when creamy and fruity sweetness exploded on his taste buds. “Oh, this is delicious… Do you want to try it?”

“Sure,” Dean said as he reached out for the glass, leaning forward a little as he drew it to his lips, drinking out of the side of the glass. He placed the glass down with an impressed smile as he licked at the milkshake mustache the treat left in its wake. “They make their own ice cream.”

“I think every time we come here I will try something new.” He pointed at his own mouth. “You still have a little bit of milkshake here.”

Dean arched his brow as he used the palm of his hand to wipe at it. “I get it?” he asked as he lowered his hand, having now smeared it up along his cheek.

Cas parted his lips for a moment, unsure of what to say. “You actually made it worse.” He leaned forward to grab a napkin, softly wiping the milkshake from Dean’s cheek with a concentrated frown on his face. When he pulled back, he nodded. “Now you’re good.”

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Thanks, _ honey.” _

Cas raised an eyebrow. It wasn't the first time Dean called him by a different name – sunshine was Cas’s personal favorite – but this was different. Cas knew that _ honey _ was a term of endearment used for a romantic partner. He tilted his head. “Are you trying to pretend that we are a couple?” 

“I was just makin’ a joke,” he said as he shook his head.

"Oh, I see..." Cas shook his head. "No, I don't. Why?"

Dean chuckled and shook his head again. “She thought we were a couple, you cleaned my face like a wife. Figured it’d be funny.”

Cas was still confused. "How do I help you clean your face as a best friend?"

Dean waved him off. “I mean, I don’t think there’s a manly way to do it, no matter what. I guess I should just be grateful you didn’t lick it off.”

Cas gave him a shocked look. "My people skills may be rusty, but even I know that would have been highly inappropriate."

“Good,” he said with a wink, “remember that. Don’t lick cream from other men’s faces.”

Cas gave Dean a pointed look. "That wasn't my intention, Dean." Did he really think his social skills were that bad? Or maybe he was joking again? It was always hard to tell.

Dean flashed him an amused smile. “I know, Cas.”

Cas squinted his eyes at Dean. Joke then. Now he really wanted to lick Dean's face just to get him back. Of course he wouldn't because... He took in a shuddered breath. Just thinking about it did weird things to his stomach again. "I wonder if that is something I will learn at some point. That I’ll know when you're joking."

“Not sure what I’d like better. A you who gets it or you-you.”

"You like to confuse me," Cas stated. "You think it's funny."

Dean tilted his glass of Coke towards Cas. “You’re not wrong.”

"I wonder if I'm better with other humans than I think. I always used you to measure my skills, but I haven't taken into account how often you use references or just plainly like to confuse me. Other people seem to use less references than you do.” Maybe Dean was the wrong person to learn about human interaction from.

Dean chuckled as he took Cas’s milkshake and stole another sip. “You breakin’ up with me?”

"If you steal my milkshake again, I might." He froze. He had retorted that without thinking. He had made a joke. He gave Dean a wide eyed look. 

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he took a big swig of the milkshake, cheeks puffing out slightly, the cream covering his nose and chin before he carefully swallowed. “I’m impressed.”

Cas leaned over and quickly licked Dean's cheek, growling, "I'm breaking up with you."

Dean barked out a laugh as he pushed Cas away. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt, a big smile on his face. “Well played.”

Cas wasn't just proud of himself for making Dean laugh with a real joke, but he was also basking in the compliment and seeing the way Dean's face lit up with his smile. It was nice to see, and knowing that he had caused it made it even better. “I have never seen you smile so often in one day. It’s nice.”

Dean shrugged as he leaned over to sip his Coke through the straw. “Told you. I’m happy.”

Cas stole a sip from Dean's coke as soon as Dean had leaned back. "Good, and I think I won't break up with you... yet." 

In that moment the waitress returned with their orders, giving them an unsure and hesitant smile before basically fleeing the scene. Dean laughed again and grabbed a fry before dipping it into Cas’s milkshake, taking a bite with a smirk. 

"What did I do?" Cas asked in confusion, looking after her before he turned back to Dean. "Stop dipping your fries in my shake. You will make it salty."

Dean ignored him, dipping another fry and leaning forward, holding it out for Cas to eat. “Try it.”

Cas gave him a skeptical look, but nevertheless leaned forward to wrap his lips around the fry in Dean's hand, his lips grazing Dean's finger, leaving an electric tingling in its wake. 

The fry was a weird taste, sweet mixed with salty. Not as disgusting as he had imagined, but also not his favorite taste. He was starting to differentiate.

“And survey says?”

Cas shook his head. "I don't know. It's... weird. Not bad, but also not my favorite."

Dean shrugged and proceeded to dig into his food. “Guess the theory that all foods are your favorite doesn’t stand.”

"Yeah," Cas breathed out, giving Dean a soft smile. "It means I'm gaining experience." He liked that thought.

“Now let’s see if these burgers are better than kissing.” Dean gave him a broad grin before taking an enormous bite out of the burger.

Cas already knew the answer to that as he bit into his burger, moaning around the fresh taste of the tomato and the juicy meat. It was simply the best taste. He closed his eyes and savored the taste with a low moan before he swallowed and licked over his lips, chasing the taste. "Burgers. Definitely burgers." 

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Not sure I agree, but this _ is _damn good.”

"Of course you wouldn't agree. Again, it's a level of experience." Although Cas was eager to get more experience in trying new varieties of food, he wasn't at all interested in gaining new experiences in kissing other people. So he knew food would always win this competition.

“And you’ve clearly never had a good kiss,” he said around a mouthful of burger.

"Obviously not." Because every kiss he remembered didn't even come close to the taste of the burger. "But that's okay. I don't have to experience everything."

Dean shrugged and said, “To each his own.”

Cas gave him a smile and took another bite from his burger. He was glad Dean saw it that way. Maybe he would stop pushing him into flirting with women as soon as they showed interest in him. He never had the heart to tell Dean that he wasn't interested in getting to know someone or having a casual sexual encounter. "We could come here on Monday after work," Cas suggested when he finished the last crumbs of his burger.

Dean nodded enthusiastically. “I’m definitely gonna try the pie.”

"So basically on Monday it will get decided if we really stay in this town. Because if the pie is bad..."

Dean chuckled and smiled. “You’re getting better at that.”

“At joking?” Cas asked in confusion, because that hadn’t been a joke. He knew how important pie was to Dean.

Dean nodded as he finished off his Coke. 

Cas didn’t want to correct him. “I'm trying,” he replied instead.

Dean grinned brightly at him. “Soon you’ll tell real jokes.”

Cas only knew one joke. "Why are there fences around a graveyard?"

Dean was clearly trying to keep a straight face, but he was still smiling. “Why?”

"Because people are dying to get in," Cas answered dryly.

Dean rolled his eyes, but he still chuckled. “At least you’ve got bad jokes down.”

“How do you know if a joke is bad or good?” Since Cas had never laughed over a joke, he found this to be very difficult to understand.

“If the punchline is corny, like the one you just told, it’s bad. If the punchline is hilarious and kinda makes you think, it’s good.”

As he had suspected, the answer didn’t help. “I see,” he replied before he finished his milkshake.

Dean chuckled again and sank back against his seat. “If Garth was here, he’d be the best gauge I could think of.”

“The werewolf-dentist-hunter?” Cas asked curiously. He remembered that Dean and Sam had talked about him sometimes.

“Yeah. Basically, if he laughed at your joke, that means it’s a bad, corny joke.”

Cas frowned and played with his napkin. "Did he also laugh at hilarious jokes?"

Dean looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know? He probably would. Maybe he wouldn’t be a good gauge…”

"He sounds like a very funny person, though." Cas gave Dean a long look. "Is he... is he still alive?"

Dean nodded. “Last time I heard. I, uh… I should probably give him a call actually.”

Cas smiled at him and nodded. "That reminds me that I wanted to ask Claire if she wanted to visit us. If you're okay with it."

“Of course,” he said with a nod, “Miley’s always welcome. Just tell her to not bring any boyfriends with her. I can’t be held responsible for what happens.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Why not? That way we could meet the young man, learn his name, and... I have a shovel in the garden."

Dean barked out a laugh and snapped his finger at Cas. “That’s why you’re my best friend.”

“Because I want to teach Claire’s boyfriend about gardening?” Cas was only joking. Because he knew what he had insinuated with the shovel comment. He just wanted to see Dean’s smile again.

“Good. Keep that answer for when we get arrested,” he returned with a smirk.

“Arrested for what? They will never find the body,” Cas replied dryly. The waitress chose that moment to check on their table. This time Cas understood why she gave him a weirded out look. “We were only joking,” he tried to explain. 

She didn't look relieved.

Dean chuckled. “We were talking about his daughter’s potential future boyfriends,” he clarified with a charming smile.

“Oh, you have a teenage daughter?” Suddenly the waitress seemed to be more than understanding.

“Yes,” Cas replied slowly, wondering about the weird feeling in his chest. “She is his daughter, too.” Cas pointed at Dean because his friend cared about Claire just as much as he did.

“Well, adopted. Seeing as two dudes can’t make babies,” he said with a wink at the waitress.

The waitress sighed. “I bet if you two could have a baby, it would be adorable.” She blushed suddenly before she quickly added, “Um, is there anything you need, everything okay?”

Dean nodded. “It was great. Just the check, please.”

“Of course,” she gave them a quick smile before she left the table to get it. Cas looked after her with a frown. 

“Why was she embarrassed?” Cas wondered out loud.

Dean chuckled and leaned back against the seat. “Because she imagined you and me making a baby.”

Cas frowned because he knew that wasn’t biologically possible. If he had a female vessel it would be different, but this... that’s when he started to picture himself with Dean in _ that way _and suddenly his face grew very warm. “Oh,” he breathed out. His penis twitched against his pants just from thinking about Dean kissing him. 

“Yeah,” he said with a soft laugh.

Cas had trouble looking at Dean, simply giving him a quick, shy glance as he desperately tried to forget what his imagination had painted in his mind. Looking at Dean only made it worse though, his gaze falling to his lips, wondering how they would feel against his own.

His own lips were suddenly dry and he licked over them. “It’s because she thinks we’re a couple… Because a couple would do that,” he murmured, playing with the napkin on the table.

Dean nodded, smirk still in place. “Yeah, it’s usually what couples do.”

It was unfair that Dean was so unaffected by this. Cas tensed when he suddenly wondered if Dean knew what he was thinking about. He hoped it hadn’t been obvious. Thankfully the waitress came back with the check, giving it directly to Dean for some reason. “Here you go. I hope we see you two again.”

“Monday, fresh baked pie. You will _ definitely _see us again,” he said as he dropped a couple of bills into the folder and handed it back to her. “Keep the change.”

“Thank you very much. Have a nice rest of the day and welcome to Plain.” She walked away and Cas was annoyed that his face was still burning. 

“What do you want to do now? Go back and build up the dresser?” A subject change might help steer his mind to safe waters.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, but didn’t you want to pick up stuff for gardening or whatever?”

“Yes!” Cas quickly replied. How could he forget that? His eyes were back on Dean’s again, his gaze dropping to his lips. _ Damnit. _He looked away. Why couldn’t he stop picturing it now? It was the waitress’s fault.

“Alright. Then see if Google says there’s any nurseries in the area.”

Cas nearly dropped his phone when Dean said that. His face grew hot again and Cas started to feel annoyed by the new human trait. “W–what? Why?” He thought Dean knew they couldn’t have a baby and even if they could, they weren’t a couple. So he didn’t understand why Dean wanted him to find a nursery.

Dean’s expression was a mixture of surprised and amused. “A _ plant _nursery, Cas.”

“Oh,” Cas breathed out, his heart hammering in his chest. That made way more sense. “Yes, of course.” He frowned and quickly opened Google Maps to find the nearest store for plants. 

He had no idea what was up with him. As an angel, everything had been so clear. Emotions were basic and never overwhelmed him. But now, without the safety of his grace protecting him, a million different emotions rushed through him. Sometimes they swept him away and it left him so confused, not knowing what he should think. Especially since all of those emotions seemed to be contradicting. Like the nice feeling of pleasure in his stomach from thinking of Dean’s lips, but at the same time the guilt of imagining something so inappropriate, something that wasn’t right. “Two streets down on the left,” he murmured.

Dean nodded and got into the car. “Did you get a name?”

"Thompson’s Greenhouse," Cas replied and tilted his head. “Do you think I’ll get flowers and vegetables there?”

“Yeah, anything plant related, pretty much. Tools and shit, too.”

“Like a shovel.” Cas smirked at him.

Dean barked out a laugh. “Exactly. For the garden, not to hide the body of our daughter’s boyfriend.”

His stomach instantly started a gymnastics routine, weird flip-flops, at hearing Dean refer to Claire as, ‘our daughter’. "Of course, who would threaten an innocent human just for trying to kiss Claire?" The answer was, him. He was very protective, even though he knew that Claire could look after herself. She had proven so over and over. She was a very strong woman.

Dean nodded and flashed him a smile. “I know I sure didn’t do that to a punk bartender who got what was comin’ to him.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. "I thought he ran into your fist?"

“That’s what I’ve been telling people.” He winked at him before turning his attention back to the road.

Cas wondered if his body might have some serious heart malfunctions because his heart stumbled when Dean winked at him. He rubbed his hand over his chest with a frown, trying to get it to calm down. "So, in reality your fist ran into him."

Dean chuckled. “If you wanna get technical.”

Cas knew that he would never get enough of this. Seeing Dean laugh, looking so light and without worry. Cas wanted to actively be a part of making Dean happy. 

They arrived at the store after a few more minutes, parking in front of the building that looked like a giant greenhouse. Cas got a good feeling about the place when he got out of the car and a bee started flying around him.

Dean grabbed them a shopping cart. When they stepped through the doors, for a moment Cas was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of plants and flowers around them. There was a rich and heavy, sweet smell in the air, and Cas closed his eyes as he tried to take it all in.

Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder. Bright, slightly concerned green eyes were the first thing he saw when he opened them. Dean chuckled, giving him a curious smile. “You alright, space cowboy?”

"Yes, sorry." He looked away with a soft smile. "Still getting used to human senses." 

Dean smiled and turned to start walking through the nursery. “Anything you want me to grab?”

Cas nodded as he started to look for plants he could plant this season. He found radishes, lamb's lettuce, arugula, spinach, and garlic. Which should all work perfectly for starting a garden. He wanted to grow their own food and although he knew that Dean prefered burgers and pizza, he wanted to learn how to cook and give Dean alternatives... alternatives that were a little healthier than his usual diet.

Dean chuckled as he picked up a shovel. “We obviously have to buy this.”

"For gardening purposes," Cas replied, giving Dean a barely concealed grin. 

Dean waggled his eyebrows. “Exactly.” He put the shovel along the rack beneath the cart’s basket. “So, how hardcore are we going with this? Should I just fill the cart with everything?”

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "I want to come back in early spring to get different plants. It's September, so I can only plant things that will grow now." He started picking up seed packages and seedlings of the vegetables he could grow. "We could also use some wood for a raised bed. But I thought we could get that from the forest nearby?"

“How do you know what’ll grow now?” Dean asked with a nod as he picked up a packet of seeds, turning it over in his hand.

"The same reason I still know every language ever spoken in this world." Cas gave him a quick smile. "The knowledge is ingrained in my being."

Dean chuckled as he leaned against the stone blocks next to some potted flowers. “And yet you never get any of my references.”

“My knowledge is limited to special subjects.” He let out a deep sigh before he put another seed package in their shopping cart. “And before I met you, I wasn't particularly interested in humans. I didn’t even have a vessel.”

“Thought you did with, uh… you know… the whole Ifrim-Benjamin thing.”

Cas nodded. “Yes, for short periods of time, but I always released the human back into their life and returned to Heaven. Unlike other angels.”

Dean looked serious then. “Sorry I fucked up your chance of doing that again.”

Cas froze and turned to look at Dean. “Raphael killed me in that first year. Me staying in this body had nothing to do with you. I followed my mission and died for it… And now this body belongs to me. There is no one left to give it back to.”

“Yeah, but you could’ve chose Heaven over us.”

“But it would have been the wrong choice,” Cas stated slowly. He frowned, wondering where this was coming from. Dean was the one who had shown him what was right and what was wrong. He showed him that there were things worth fighting for and Cas believed in that too. “Dean… I don’t regret choosing you over Heaven. And if I had to choose again, I would still choose you.”

Dean ducked his gaze as he tossed the seed packet into the cart. “Well, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.” 

“What brought this on?” Cas carefully asked as he pushed the cart towards the registers.

“What do you mean?”

"You were the one asking me to rebel against Heaven. Don't you believe that was the right decision anymore?” Cas asked before his eyes caught a rake for sale, so he grabbed it.

Dean shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just… I’m glad you’re happy.”

Cas gave him a smile and nodded. "I am. Very much." He looked down for a moment before he added, "This is the first time I’m doing something just for myself and it's... it's a nice feeling."

Dean chuckled and clapped a hand on his shoulder as he turned to look at some of the strange statuary that was likely for decoration.

Cas stood next to him and tilted his head. "What is that?"

Dean shrugged as he pointed at the displays. “Some garden gnomes, stone animals, I’m guessing for decoration.”

"What is a gnome?" Cas squinted his eyes at the statue with the red hat and big belly.

“Like… an elf? I really have no idea how to answer your question.”

"So it's a supernatural creature?" Cas asked, wondering why he had never heard of such a being.

Dean chuckled. “At this point? It wouldn’t surprise me.”

And then Cas understood that this was probably a mythical creature. "Oh, I see, it's like a unicorn. A creature humanity made up."

Dean leaned down and picked one up that was holding a wheelbarrow. “So? Want it for your garden?”

"It's for good luck and a rich harvest," a man behind them suddenly commented. 

Cas turned around and noticed the man was wearing a green apron, the logo of the store was printed on it, and he had thick dark glasses and dark hair that was slightly graying. He also had a friendly smile and kind eyes. 

Cas gave him a smile before he asked, "Does it really work?"

The man shrugged. "They definitely keep the crows at bay."

Dean was clearly trying not to laugh. He gave Cas a pointed look. “We definitely need to keep the crows at bay.”

Cas squinted his eyes at Dean. He had a feeling that Dean was making fun of him, but he wasn't sure. "Then maybe we should take one. I don't want our first harvest to be ruined by birds."

At that Dean made a weird noise, pressing his lips together as he turned away from Cas. 

Cas was starting to feel worried about Dean. "Dean, are you okay?" He asked slowly.

Dean waved him off with a nod. “Yeah. Great.”

Cas frowned and turned to the kind man. "I think we’ll take the one with the wheelbarrow."

The man nodded with a bright smile and opened the glass display to hand Cas the garden gnome. Cas gave the gnome a critical once over, wondering why birds would fear the decoration. It didn't look very frightening. It actually looked pretty... jovial. “Thank you.”

When Dean finally turned back, he appeared perfectly fine. He looked at the gnome and patted Cas’s shoulder. “Perfect.”

"Thanks for shopping here. I'm Peter Thompson by the way. And I thought I knew all the hobby gardeners and farmers in this town."

"We're new. I'm Cas and this is Dean. We just moved here," Cas explained, "and I want to start a garden to grow our own food."

"I see you already packed everything you need. You must know a lot about gardens," Peter stated before he added, "If you ever have any questions though, feel free to stop by or call."

"That's very nice. Thank you." Cas gave the man another smile before they parted ways because Peter was called to another customer.

"This is a very nice town," Cas whispered as he leaned towards Dean.

Dean nodded, smirking at him. “Flirty too. Between the waitress and that guy…”

Cas was confused. He tried to recall the conversation with Peter, but he was sure he didn't flirt with Dean. "He flirted with you? When?"

Dean barked out a laugh. “With you, doofus.”

Cas was taken aback by that. "What? No. He didn't... he just informed me about gardening. H–how is that flirting?"

Dean slung his arm over Cas’s shoulder and urged him forward, close enough to overhear the man’s conversation with the new customer. “Fifty bucks he doesn’t talk to this guy the way he talked to you.”

"Well, of course he wouldn't. I'm a new customer. Maybe he was just being friendly, so I’ll come back and buy more things. That _ is _how sales work. I learned that at the Gas N' Sip," Cas explained, rolling his eyes at Dean.

Dean licked his lips, a smirk permanently etched into his face. “You’re right. That is how sales work. Sex sells.”

To appease Dean, and not at all because of his own insatiable curiosity, Cas turned his attention back to Peter. 

Peter was polite, but his tone didn’t have the same level of friendliness he had with Cas. “Yes, I can put an order in for that brand of soil and take your number to call when it comes in.” He didn’t stand as close to this man as he did to Cas either, and as he waved for the man to follow him to the register, when he saw the way Dean was leaning against him, there was a flash of something akin to disappointment before he forced a smile for the other customer.

Dean tilted his head, his own arm still draped over Cas’s shoulder as he drew his other hand up to pat Cas’s chest, giving him a cocky grin. “You gonna tell me you didn’t see that?”

Cas sighed deeply. "I did... He thinks you and I are a couple and is disappointed."

“And why would he be disappointed?” Dean asked in a sing-song lilt.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Because he is interested in me."

“Winner-winner, chicken dinner,” he quipped as he drew away from Cas with a small chuckle. 

"Can we go now? I've got everything." The whole conversation left him feeling uneasy and uncomfortable.

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter. “Thought you didn’t care about sexual orientation?”

Cas frowned. "I don't. Why would you think I care?"

“You look like…” Dean paused, his eyes slowly widening with apparent realization. “Like how you looked when I took you to that brothel. You aren’t annoyed, you’re into it, aren’t you?”

Cas rolled his eyes. "Not at all. I'm not interested in any kind of romantic relationship, or 'hookups' with other people, no matter their gender. It makes me uncomfortable when people are interested in me, because I'm not, and I don't like hurting other people's feelings."

Dean pursed his lips, shrugging in resignation. “Fair enough.”

Cas was really annoyed now as he pushed the cart down the aisle towards the register. "I'm happy just the way things are. And I'm not interested in dating or casual sex. I thought you would have accepted that by now."

“Don’t have to get pissy, Cas.”

“We said no judgement and I still feel like you judge me about this decision,” Cas countered.

Dean quirked his brow. “And that’s why you’re being pissy, because you think I’m being judgy.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” Cas frowned at him. "You sounded resigned when I told you again that I'm not interested in pursuing anything with other people. Like my decision is bad."

“No, man. I mean, I’m the last one to judge you for that.” Dean let out a soft sigh and shook his head. 

“Then why do you keep pushing? Every time someone shows interest in me?”

Dean raised his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t trying to push anything. I was just pointing it out.”

“Well, I’d prefer if you wouldn’t.” It was easier when he thought no one was interested in him.

“Alright,” he said, hands still raised. “Can we go back to being friends again?”

"Dean..." Cas rolled his eyes. "Just because we argue sometimes doesn't mean I’ve stopped being your friend." 

Dean chuckled and his lips were halfway quirked in a sly smile. “Promise?”

"I promise." Cas gave him a quick smile and pointed at their cart. "Now let's go home."

Dean bowed as he stepped aside for Cas. “After you.”

Cas gave him a smile. It felt good to say the word ‘home,’ a light and airy syllable that caressed the tongue. For the first time for as long as he had existed, he meant it.

After they paid and got everything in the car, Cas sank happily against the seat. He was already slightly exhausted from the day, even though they hadn't done much. But it was a nice feeling. Kind of cozy.

He really liked this town. It was small and surrounded by forest, the leaves starting to turn colorful. It wasn't too hot or too cold. Just perfect. 

Like this day. And that reminded him that they never heard the song Dean had chosen earlier on the jukebox. 

Cas turned to Dean, as he started to drive, with a questioning look. "Dean, what was the song you had chosen before? We never heard it."

Dean chuckled and nodded to his box of cassettes. “Look for the one with a spaceship on it.”

Cas went through the box and immediately found it. A blue spaceship with yellow and red bright rings. "Electric Light Orchestra?" He asked, just to be sure.

“Pop it in.” Dean flashed him a knowing smile.

Cas pushed the tape in and gave Dean an excited smile. He loved that he was about to hear the song now.

An interesting beat filled the speakers when the singer joined in, _ “ _ _ Sun is shinin' in the sky, there ain't a cloud in sight. It's stopped rainin', everybody's in a play and don't you know, it's a beautiful new day, hey hey…” _

For some reason the song instantly made him smile. It was so happy and joyful. His head bounced along to the beat and he gave Dean a big smile. 

_ “ _ _ Runnin' down the avenue…” _

Dean breathed along with the song in exaggerated pants before he started singing along, _ “ _ _ See how the sun shines brightly, in the city, on the streets where once was pity, Mister blue sky is living here today, hey hey…” _

Cas loved to hear Dean singing. He was radiating happiness and it was infectious.

_ “Mister blue sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long (so long). Where did we go wrong?” _Dean flashed Cas a smile, knocking his knee against Cas’s. 

It felt a little bit like the song was about their life. They had been through so much together and finally they had found some happiness. Their own blue sky. He knocked his knee gently back against Dean's.

Dean pointed his finger at Cas as he sang along with the next part, _ “ _ _ Hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race. A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin', and today is the day we've waited for…” _

Cas felt the familiar heat rushing to his face again when Dean pointed at him and sang "pretty face". He gave him a shy smile that turned into a grin with the next line: 

_ Welcome to the human race. _

This song really was about them. And he felt welcomed this time. Although his first experience with humanity had been less than ideal, this time everything was different. This time he had blue skies. And this time he was happy and wanted to stay.

[ ](https://images2.imgbox.com/e7/72/mBarl3u2_o.jpg)


	2. Chapter 2

“Yo, Winchester? You at a good stopping point?” Bailey asked.

Dean finally unscrewed the almost rusted plug and pulled away before the sludgy oil started dripping out. “Yeah,” he returned as he creeper’ed back out. This wasn’t going to be a typical oil change and he was going to need the strength.

The young guy had his arms folded against his chest, eyebrow quirked in amusement. “So, do you owe me a slurpee?”

Dean rolled his eyes and held his hand out for Bailey to help him up. “Yeah. You called it. I think this beast’s last oil change was when Reagan was president.”

"Yeah, I could see this one wasn't treated well from a mile away." He shuffled his feet as he leaned back against the workbench. "Do you have any plans this weekend?"

“Oh, yeah. Gonna go skydiving, then climb the Rockies,” Dean quipped as he walked over to the fridge to get the lunch Cas packed for him that morning.

Bailey chuckled and walked over with him, grabbing a coke from the fridge. "I'm seriously jealous of the awesome food your mysterious Cas packs for you. The boys and I are going out to the park on Saturday, play some football and have a barbeque. Why don't you join us? Bring Cas so we can finally meet him?"

Dean shook his head, a small smile curving his lips. “You’re just hopin’ I'll get him to make those brownies again.”

Bailey shrugged. "Well, that couldn't hurt. Pretty sure my girlfriend will ask him for the recipe. She loves making those tiny, colorful cupcakes. And I really have a sweet tooth.”

Dean chuckled as he dropped onto the bench next to Bailey. “This whole damn company does when Cas bakes.”

"Yeah, man. You won the lottery." Bailey gave him a toothy grin. "So, we have a few bets going on that in reality Cas is your scantily clad, secret genie who fulfills all your wishes." 

Suddenly Cas dressed as Barbara Eden popped into his head and Dean burst into laughter. “How’d you guys know?” he breathed out as he shook his head in amusement.

"It's the name. You said it's short for Castiel? It sounds like a genie, or fairy, or whatever. And he bakes. He can only be magical."

Dean chuckled, pulling out the friggin’ ribs Cas had wrapped for him and  _ really  _ appreciated his “magical” best friend in that moment with an ardent growl. “Fuck, yes, Cas.”

Bailey's eyebrows shot up. "Winchester, no sex fantasies about your Cas at work!"

Dean was grateful he hadn’t gotten the rib to his mouth yet, or he would’ve choked. He shook his head, trying to get his heart to calm the fuck down. “Dude, not funny.”

Bailey laughed and shook his head. "You should see your face! I think it's very funny." He leaned back against the workbench again to take a sip from his Coke. "So, you're coming on Saturday? We’re meeting at three at Kennedy Park, bring a picnic blanket... and muffins."

Dean rolled his eyes as he raised the first rib to his lips. “I’ll talk to Cas.”

"Tell him it's non-optional that he comes." Bailey grinned before he added, "I really want to see the guy who makes you growl like that."

“Seriously,” Dean warned before he sank his teeth into the rib. It was perfect, the right amount of smoke, and sauce, and tender as hell. 

"You almost sound like you're embarrassed about your sex life with your guy. Seriously, you're in a safe space here. No one cares that you're gay for him. I mean, me working here is the perfect example." Bailey gave him a smile. “This is a pretty awesome workplace and town.”

Dean froze, rib forgotten in his hand. Bailey wasn’t giving him shit. He genuinely thought that… “Do you think he’s my boyfriend?”

"Husband?" Bailey asked carefully.

Dean looked around, feeling a little nuts, his old instincts of adamant refusal and incensed denial threatening to break out. But Dean promised himself to stop the bad habits from his past. “Uh, why?”

"What do you mean, ‘why?’ Why we all think Cas is your boyfriend?" Bailey looked thoroughly confused. "You live with him and he packs you lunch everyday. He obviously takes care of you and you're always so smiley when you talk about him. When we ask about what you did last night, it's always, 'Cas and I did this,’ or ‘Cas and I did that'. So it wasn't a big leap... So is he your husband, or your boyfriend? It's okay to say it, seriously. You don't need to hide, no one will judge you, especially not me."

Dean furrowed his brow. “Bailey, I’m not gay.”

"So you're bi." Bailey shrugged. "No big deal." He held up his hands. "Look, I don't know which backwards town you came from. I'm just saying, it's okay if you're with him. I mean, look at me... I was a girl and now I'm the gender I’m supposed to be. I got a lot of shit for it in the past, especially in my home town. But not since I started living here. This is a good place, Dean. You can be free to be who you are. No judgement."

Dean shook his head. He was in a  _ Twilight Zone  _ episode. Apparently, no matter what he said, Bailey would think he was just fucked up over his own homosexuality. Dean let out a soft scoff and returned to his lunch. “Fine. Believe what you gotta believe.”

Bailey shook his head, looking slightly disappointed and sad before he tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Anyway, it would be really awesome if you two joined us. It's like an official welcome to the family barbeque. And I hope you like football. Do you play?"

Dean shook his head. “Nah. Wasn’t really the sporty guy.”

“What about Cas?” Bailey asked with a grin.

Then the image of Cas in an oversized jersey tripping over a football flashed in his brain and he laughed again. “No, but I’d love to see you guys force him to play.”

Bailey raised an eyebrow. "Tell him to wear some appropriate clothes for it then."

Dean chuckled and nodded. “You got it.”

Bailey looked up at the clock and sighed. "Back to work. Got a real nice Maserati coming in a few minutes for a check up. Man, that baby is sex on wheels."

“How’d I get stuck with that damn Oldsmobile again?”

"Well, I'm just a god with my fingers, Winchester. No need for envy."

Dean rolled his eyes. “You get I can put you in a timeout, babyface?”

Bailey chuckled before he winked at him. "Hey, I'm not your Cas... stop flirting." He stuck out his tongue before he chuckled and left the breakroom.

“Unbelievable,” he murmured to himself as he got lost in the rest of the ribs Cas had packed for him. If the only downside to Cas making him lunches was that it made people think he was his boyfriend, Dean could deal with it.

It was mid October, and to this date he and Dean had been living in Plain for nearly a month. Sam and Eileen hadn’t visited them yet, but they promised they would fly up to visit them for Halloween. 

Cas loved every aspect of Dean’s and his new life. He had started to teach himself how to cook, trying out every recipe from a cookbook he had purchased from the Goodwill. He brought home groceries from his workplace where he got a discount, and every evening he prepared a meal for them. 

Usually before Dean got home, because it turned out that Dean’s work schedule required longer hours than Cas’s. It gave Cas the opportunity to surprise Dean with a home cooked meal every day. Which was a good thing; the man was as hungry as a bear.

He loved doing it. Dean always appreciated everything he made with ample enthusiasm, making noises that bordered on inappropriate and made Cas’s face warm with heat.

Usually they spent their evenings together, talking about their day and watching TV. It was perfect. Cas was happy. It almost felt like he had his own piece of Heaven right here on Earth.

Although Cas loved his job, he always looked forward to the weekends. Mostly because he spent his whole day in the garden. One time Dean drove them out to the lake, not to fish because Dean hadn’t bought any equipment yet, but just because; to sit on one of the wooden piers and enjoy the sunset.

Cas hummed the  _ Mr. Blue Sky  _ song as he looked at the lasagne in the oven. Just a few more minutes and it would be ready. He hoped Dean came home before it was ready. 

He heard the keys jangling at the door a few moments later and smiled. Dean was home. “I’m in the kitchen,” he called out when he heard the front door open.

There was some shuffling and footsteps approaching until he heard Dean’s chuckle. “You’re gonna shock me and not be in the kitchen one of these times,” he said as he leaned against the door frame.

Cas opened the fridge and grabbed a cold beer for Dean, handing it to him. “I made lasagne. It’ll be done in a few minutes.”

Dean chuckled again and took the beer. “It smells amazing. Oh, and are you working Saturday?”

Cas shook his head. “No, why? Do you have something planned?” Cas asked with a smile, getting a beer for himself.

“Yeah, we’ve been invited to a meetup in a park with my coworkers, and you are required to make muffins,” he said with a grin.

Cas raised his eyebrows. “I am?” He leaned against the counter with a smile. “I would love to meet your coworkers.” 

In that moment he was reminded of what he found out that day in regards to his own coworkers’ assumptions about Dean and his relationship. Cas looked down, feeling a little guilty. “I… um, how, um… Who do they think I am, in relation to you?”

Dean barked out a laugh at that. “Apparently, they’re all convinced you’re my husband.”

Cas looked up in surprise, feeling relieved all of a sudden. “Oh… good. I mean… I learned today that actually my boss… Allan, he thinks that you’re my husband, too. I thought I did something wrong, but apparently it’s normal for people to assume that, when two men live together.” He still felt incredibly guilty over the fact that he hadn’t corrected Allan. He didn’t even know  _ why  _ exactly.

“Yeah, even when I tried to clarify with Bailey, he just thought I was too scared to admit it.” Dean shook his head and took a sip of his beer.

Cas looked down at the floor at that, before he mumbled his confession, “I didn’t correct Allan.”

Dean shrugged with a soft laugh. “Well, it’s not like people believe us when we deny it, apparently.”

“So do you want me to pretend… like the first time we went to Milly’s Burgers?” Cas asked slowly.

“I mean, do whatever you want. It’s not like it’s hurting anything.”

“And it’s very hard to change someone’s mind once they believe something,” Cas added before he turned off the oven and pulled out the lasagne with his new oven mitts. He grabbed two plates from the cupboard and carefully put a large helping on Dean’s plate, decorating the top with a fresh basil leaf before handing it to Dean. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

“Thanks,  _ honey,”  _ Dean quipped as he took his plate to the couch. Even though they bought a small dining table, they often found themselves eating dinner on the couch, in front of the television.

Cas had no idea why the term of endearment made his face grow hot. He knew Dean didn’t mean it like that. He was just making a joke because everyone thought they were married. So he quietly chewed on his lower lip as he filled his plate and sat down next to Dean. “How was your day?”

“Good, despite finding a car owner who deserves his car less than you,” he teased with a smirk before he blew on a bite and shoveled it into his mouth.

Cas pouted at him. “Hey, I’m doing better, since you started to teach me how to take care of it.”

“True,” he murmured with his mouth full.

Cas looked over at him with a soft smile. “So, is this recipe a keeper?”

Dean nodded, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

Cas grinned at him. “You look funny like that.” Before he could think about it he used his thumb to wipe away some tomato sauce from the corner of Dean’s mouth. He realized that he probably should have used a napkin when he drew his hand back. The heat was back in his face and he looked down at his plate, trying to hide it. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled breathlessly.

Dean chuckled. “No wonder people think we’re married.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I did that.”

Dean shrugged. “At least you didn’t lick it off.”

“I’m starting to think you want me to lick your face,” Cas retorted without thinking.

Dean smirked and shook his head. “Wishful thinking on your part?” he teased.

And there was the heat again. Cas stared at Dean for a moment before he swallowed and took a bite from his lasagne, trying not to look at him. “Of course not,” he mumbled into his food, “that would be weird.”

“You do!” Dean nudged his elbow into Cas’s side.

“Stop teasing me, Dean. I made you lasagne.” Cas elbowed him back and gave him a shy smile. He didn’t know why, but he actually liked the teasing. It made him feel weird in his stomach and chest. But a nice kind of weird.

Dean smeared some sauce all over his mouth, leaning in close. “But it’s so much fun…”

Cas bit his lower lip as he tried to imagine himself leaning over to lick the sauce from Dean’s lips… kissing him. His heart skipped a beat and his breathing hitched before he chuckled quietly and looked away. “Dean, your eating habits are abysmal.”

Dean grinned brightly at him. “You still love me.”

Which was true. He would always love Dean. He chuckled before he replied, “Well, I must, because otherwise we wouldn’t be married.”

Dean chuckled. “Good to know.”

Cas wondered when this stupid heat in his face would finally go away. He needed a subject change. “Do you want to watch some TV?”

“Yeah, one of our shows?”

Cas nodded with a smile. “I think I want to see what Rebecca Bunch is doing next in West Covina.”

Dean nodded and grabbed the remote. “You know I never thought I’d like a show like this.”

“The title was off putting,” Cas stated as he switched on their TV and started Netflix. “But it’s surprisingly addictive… And I like the music.”

“Me too, but don’t you dare tell anyone that,” Dean said with a soft laugh.

“Who would I tell? Our garden gnome?”

“Well, he  _ is  _ a mouthy fucker.”

Cas raised his eyebrows. He could guess when Dean was joking with a success rate of seventy percent after living nearly a month (case free) with him. Maybe sixty-five. Joking back was a lot more difficult. Sometimes he came up with a great come back, the only problem was that it was two days later. “I saw him talking to the crows. He is doing a very bad job of keeping them away.”

Dean laughed outright as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “Maybe he needs friends?”

“There are also a lot of magpies, trying to eat the seedlings. Maybe I should build an actual scarecrow,” Cas pondered aloud as he leaned back against their cozy couch. His shoulder touched Dean’s, but he didn’t move away, pretending he didn’t notice how close they were.

“Pick up where we left off, or do you want to restart the episode?”

“I’m not sure I remember how the last episode ended. I fell asleep on the couch… again.” Cas still had a problem with sleeping. He tried to avoid it whenever possible, so he usually fell asleep reading at the table, or on the couch. One time he even fell asleep in the garden. He hadn’t used his bed much since they moved in.

Dean nodded as he went back and selected the thirteenth episode of season one. “Yeah, it almost seems silly to have bought you a bed,” Dean said with a wink.

“Maybe one day I will use it,” Cas commented quietly. “Today will not be that day.”

Dean shrugged as he finished his lasagne and settled into the couch.

Cas licked tomato sauce off of his fingers as he finished the rest of his lasagne, before he took Dean’s plate to put them back in the kitchen. He would clean up later. “Do you want another beer…  _ honey _ ?” He smirked at himself for using the same joke as Dean did earlier.

“Yes,  _ dear!” _

Of course his heart had to stumble again, but at least Dean wasn’t in the kitchen to see how he reacted to it. He was so embarrassed about these reactions. It wasn’t like Dean meant it. It was all a joke. 

He opened another beer and brought it back to him before he settled next to Dean, his shoulder touching Dean’s again. 

“Thanks,  _ babe,”  _ he said before taking a swig of his beer.

He didn’t realize how much that word would impact his bodily reactions. There wasn’t only the heat, but his heart was racing now and his breathing hitched. “You’re welcome,” he mumbled shyly, licking over his suddenly too dry lips.

Dean chuckled. “You alright?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, trying to give him a reassuring smile. He quickly needed to change the subject. “Do you think Rebecca and Greg will end up together and she’ll forget about her unhealthy obsession with Josh?” 

Dean shrugged. “I mean, she moved across the country for Josh. I doubt she could get over that. Not to mention, it’s a lost cause ‘cause Valencia is hot as hell.”

Cas sighed and leaned back, getting comfortable as he sipped his beer. “I like White Josh,” he mumbled.

Dean choked on his beer and gave him a sidelong glance. “Is  _ that  _ your type? A big ol’ slice of beefcake?”

Cas was uncertain what Dean meant by that. So, because Dean told him to ask if he had questions, he did, “Big ol’ slice of beefcake? What do you mean by that?”

Dean gave him a soft smile. “It basically means White Josh is buff, big, and muscly.”

“Oh.” Cas shook his head before he leaned closer. “No, I like him because he seems to be a very nice man and he is pretty wise for his age.”

There was a beat of silence in which Dean just stared at Cas in amusement. He took another swig of his beer before he sank back against the couch again. “Then why the hell did you marry me?” he teased.

“Must be the freckles,” Cas replied dryly, proud of himself that he actually had a decent comeback this time.

Dean smacked Cas’s knee as he let out a bark of laughter. “Must be.”

Cas felt braver after that, smiling at him before he added, “And the charming smile.”

Dean flashed him said charming smile. “Knew it would come in handy one day.”

Cas pressed his palm on Dean’s face to playfully push him away. “Stop distracting me.” It was only the opening song playing, but still. Dean’s smile didn’t make his heartbeat situation any better.

Dean let out a soft laugh and turned his attention to the television, the hand holding his beer comfortably resting against the side of Cas’s leg.

It made his whole body tingle to feel Dean touching him. He carefully slid closer, leaning against him as they watched the episode. Since they started living together like this, Dean seemed to be more okay with them having physical contact.

Cas tried to focus on the episode, wishing Rebecca would forget about Josh already because he really liked Greg. And then Darryl asked White Josh out on a date. “Oh… that is a surprising turn of events.”

Dean chuckled. “I saw it comin’.”

“You did? How?” He asked in surprise because he still didn’t get where the sudden interest in Darryl came from. Not that Darryl wasn’t a very nice person. But there wasn’t any build up to that love story. 

“He was fucked up over a kiss on the cheek and realized shortly after he was a ‘bothsexual’. I knew it was comin’,” he said with a noncommittal shrug.

“And White Josh is a nice guy,” Cas hummed in reply. “Isn’t it called bi-sexual?”

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I was just using what Darryl called it. And if White Josh is into Darryl, then we know you’d have a shot; since he’s obviously into dweebs.” Dean pinched Cas’s cheek.

Cas scrunched up his nose and rubbed his cheek. “Are you insinuating that I’m a dweeb?” he growled.

“Not at all. I’m outright saying it,” Dean returned with a smirk.

“See if I cook lasagne for you again,” Cas replied and crossed his arms over his chest with a pout.

Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder. “Don’t be mad.”

Well, how could he be mad at Dean when he did something like that? He gave him a shy smile. “Then don’t call me a dweeb.”

“But you’re  _ my  _ dweeb,” he murmured in exaggerated baby talk as he ruffled Cas’s hair.

Cas resorted to hitting Dean in the face with a sofa cushion. Trying to ignore the fact that Dean was possessive over him, which made his heart skip a beat again.

Dean let out a scoff of surprise before he grabbed the other cushion and smacked Cas upside the back of the head with it.

“Hey,” Cas complained, but he chuckled as he tried to straighten his hair. “You actually earned that! What did I do?”

“I earned it? The hell did I do?” Dean asked in feigned offense.

“You called me a dweeb,  _ again.”  _ So Cas hit Dean again with the cushion. “Which isn’t very nice.”

“Oh, that’s it,” Dean said as he tackled Cas against the couch, straddling his hips as he shoved a pillow against Cas’s face.

Cas instinctively tried to push against the pillow, trying to shove Dean off, but he froze when he noticed the friction actually made his penis grow hard. He tried to ignore the erection and focused on getting the pillow out of his face. “Dean,” he breathed out. “That’s not fair.” 

“Said the guy abusing me with a pillow,” he countered as he lifted the cushion for about three seconds before shoving it in his face again.

Cas bucked his hips on reflex, groaning when his erection was pressed against Dean’s ass. “Dean stop!” His protest was muffled through the pillow. “Please.”

Dean pulled off of Cas, taking the pillow with him as he cleared his throat. “Uh, sorry, Cas.”

Cas pulled away from Dean, pulling his legs up on the couch to hide his erection from Dean. He knew it was a highly inappropriate reaction. “Thank you,” he whispered, not trusting his voice. His gaze was glued to the television to get a distraction, and in the hopes he could will his erection away.

Dean nodded and leaned forward, grabbing his beer off of the table. “Sorry if I went too far,” he murmured around the bottle lip.

“It’s okay,” Cas replied shyly, really hating how embarrassed he felt. 

After that Dean shifted to the other side of the couch, leaning against the arm rest as he returned his attention to the show.

Cas looked over at Dean with a soft sigh. He hated how far away he was now. He missed the warmth of feeling Dean’s body close to him. “Why… why are you sitting so far away?” he asked quietly.

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Cas didn’t know what to say to that. He just gave Dean a longing look before he returned his focus back to the TV, where Josh just kissed Rebecca. He scrunched up his nose. “Oh, no. That isn’t going to help.”

“Told ya’.” Dean flashed him an almost insecure smile.

Cas tried to smile back, but he felt so embarrassed it probably looked weird. He pulled his legs closer to his body and tried to look back at the TV, but his eyes wandered, giving Dean an insecure look, hoping that he wouldn’t notice.

He had no idea why his body had reacted that way from Dean sitting on him. But he knew it was a reaction he shouldn’t be having. Dean was his friend. And no matter how many times they joked about it, he was neither his boyfriend nor husband. And Cas was afraid that his inappropriate behavior would make Dean uncomfortable. So much that he may not want to live with him anymore.

Dean leaned over and used the remote to pause the show, propping a knee up on the couch as he turned to face Cas. “Talk to me.”

Cas gave him careful look. “About what?”

“This,” Dean said as he waved between them. “If I did something that’s weirded you out, I want us to hash it out.”

“Do we really have to talk about it? Can’t we just forget it happened?” Cas suggested, kind of missing the old Dean in that moment, the one who never wanted to talk about anything.

Dean shrugged. “If you want to, but I don’t like the weirdness between us.”

“Me neither, but I… I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “It was nothing you did. It’s about my behavior.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “What did  _ you  _ do?”

Cas looked down and swallowed. He really didn’t want to tell Dean, but he also didn’t want to have this weird tension between them. Chances were high that he would actually make it worse if he told him. “I’m afraid if I tell you… there could be more weird tension between us. And that you’ll get uncomfortable and won’t want to live with me anymore.”

Dean shook his head, giving him a reassuring smile. “Dude, after all these years, you still worry I’d kick you out?”

Cas slowly nodded. “Yes… I always anticipate that at one point you will meet someone and then… I won’t fit into your life anymore.”

At that Dean scooted closer and braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you, but I have no interest in meeting someone and even if I did, you’re always going to be my best friend. And as far as I’m concerned, we can be roommates for the rest of our goddamn lives. You get me?”

Cas bit his lip, hesitantly looking up at Dean. He decided that Dean needed to hear the truth before he promised something like that. “Even if I make you uncomfortable because some harmless fight with pillows caused a very inappropriate bodily reaction in me?”

Dean looked incredibly perplexed at that. “Huh?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I got a boner, Dean.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Cas looked down again.  _ Great.  _ He made it worse. He just knew it. “When you sat on me and held me down. I don’t know why it happened, it just did.”

After a beat, Dean burst into laughter. “That’s why you’re freaked out? Dude, I’m not gonna kick you out because you got a boner.”

Cas gave him a surprised look. “But I know I shouldn’t get one because we’re not… we’re just friends. And that shouldn’t happen.”

Dean shook his head and laughed softly. “Dude, I wouldn’t worry about it. Your body is probably out of whack, getting used to being almost human again.”

“Out of whack?” Cas asked, but he noticed that a smile was tugging at his lips. Dean’s laugh was always so infectious.

“Yeah, I’m basically assuming your body’s trying to regulate itself. I mean, it’s not like you’re attracted to me.”

Cas tensed as he stared at Dean. He  _ was  _ attracted to Dean. Everything about Dean was attractive. But that wasn’t very helpful information in this case. “Um… yes...” Cas licked over his lips and looked down. “Because that would be weird.”

Dean chuckled and gently punched his arm. “So, we’re fine. Will you please stop being weird about it now?”

Cas rubbed his arm with a pout. “I’m trying. Sadly there is no switch.” He wished he wasn’t attracted to Dean. It would make things so much easier. He gave Dean a longing look before he leaned back against the couch, trying to get comfortable again as he sat closer to Dean. 

“Eh, your weird works with my weird.”

“You’re not weird,” Cas mumbled, leaning against his shoulder.

Dean chuckled and ruffled Cas’s hair. “Sweet of you to say, but we both know that’s not true.”

He looked up at Dean with puppy eyes. He loved when Dean had his fingers in his hair. “Rebecca is weird. How are you weird?” 

“You think the amount of movies and songs I know from decades I wasn’t alive is normal?”

“Songs have a habit of quickly getting stuck in one’s head.” His hand moved closer to Dean’s, his finger touching the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean smiled. “Especially if they’re annoying.”

Cas laughed at that. “Oh, yes. Allan has music running in the store, and one day I had the Macarena song stuck in my head. That was really annoying.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “Now I’m imagining your awkward ass doing the Macarena in the middle of the store.”

“I wasn’t dancing, if that is what you’re insinuating. I just had the song stuck on an infinite loop in my head.”

“I’m half tempted to friggin’ teach you now,” he said with a chuckle as he groaned and moved to stand. “I’m gonna grab another beer. You want anything?”

Cas held his wrist and pulled him back down on the couch. “Stay, I’ll get you another one. You had a long day,” he said softly as he got up and wandered over to the kitchen to grab Dean another beer. He couldn’t drink another. He had noticed early on that his limit was one beer if he wanted to be productive the next day. When he got back and handed Dean the beer, he slipped close again, giving Dean a soft smile.

Dean thanked him and relaxed against the couch again. “You’re the best.”

“Because I bring you beer?” Cas chuckled and gave him another smile.

“And make me dinner,” he said with a soft laugh before taking a swig of his beer.

“You’re easy to please,” Cas replied with a grin, hesitantly moving his hand close to Dean’s again. He liked how his skin was tingling when it came into light contact with Dean’s hand.

Dean nodded as he rested his head against the back of the couch. “So I’ve been told.”

Cas leaned his head back as well, but turned it slightly to look at Dean before he used his finger to stroke over the back of Dean’s hand to get his attention. “I’ll bake the muffins tomorrow morning. Do you know how many people are going to be there?”

Dean shook his head. “Figure if you make a dozen, you should be good.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. His finger remained against the back of Dean’s hand because he hadn’t pulled it away yet. “The last time I made them you ate six alone.”

“Fine,” he said with a tired laugh, “a dozen for me, a dozen for everyone else.”

Cas turned his head fully to Dean, now giving him a soft smile. “Are you tired?”

“Not as young as I used to be,” he murmured as he looked at his watch. “Shit, it’s not even nine yet.”

Although Cas didn’t want their closeness on the couch to end, he still suggested, “Why don’t you go to bed? If you’re tired, you’re tired.”

Dean gave him a sleepy smile. “Let’s finish this episode.”

Cas loved that smile. It was hard to look away from Dean’s lips when it happened. “Yeah, okay,” he breathed out, turning slightly so he could see the TV, his fingers softly stroking over the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean breathed out a soft huff of laughter. “That tickles.”

“Mmhh? What?” Cas asked, stopping his movement. He hoped he could explain it away with it being an unconscious movement.

Dean flipped their hands and started gently trailing his fingers along Cas’s knuckles. “This.”

Cas’s breathing hitched as he looked at Dean. It tingled and his heart was beating a million miles an hour. “Yeah,” he breathed out, “but not a bad kind of tickling.”

Because Cas knew how being tickled felt. Dean sometimes did it when he was out in the garden and not paying attention. Dean would creep up on him and tickle his sides to startle him. Cas suspected it was probably revenge for all the times he had startled Dean by appearing right behind him.

Dean shrugged, never stopping the movement. “I guess not, you aren’t squealing like you usually do.” He smirked at Cas.

“I don’t squeal.” Cas squinted his eyes at Dean, but there was no heat behind it. It was difficult to be annoyed when Dean was touching him like that. He hesitantly moved his thumb to stroke over the inside of Dean’s wrist. 

“That’s a balls out lie,” Dean argued with a laugh. 

“It’s dangerous to startle people. One day I might accidentally hit you with a shovel.” Cas gave Dean a soft smile, happy that they still kept touching each other and that Dean hadn’t pulled away.

“You accidentally hit me with a shovel, I might  _ accidentally  _ put snakes in your bed.”

“First of all, I never sleep in my bed. And second, I’m not afraid of snakes.” Cas chuckled, sliding a bit closer to Dean. Closer to his warmth.

Dean laughed. “Well, then what  _ are  _ you afraid of?”

“I’m not going to tell you if you want to use it against me.” Cas laughed, letting his fingertips trail over Dean’s palm.

“Not fair, Cas. You know what I’m scared of.”

Cas took a deep breath before he whispered, “The only thing I’m scared of is losing you.”

Dean turned his head, still resting against the backrest as he gave Cas a contemplative look. “I have no idea how to put that in your bed.”

Cas laughed at that. “Yeah, I think that is a very difficult and cumbersome thing to transport and place on a bed.”

Dean chuckled and finished off his beer, cradling the empty bottle against his knee. “I’m not really paying attention; maybe I should head to bed.”

Cas sighed and nodded, tentatively letting go of Dean’s hand. “Yes, you obviously need some sleep.”

“Well, I  _ am  _ an old man now,” he murmured as he groaned while pushing himself up off of the couch.

Cas playfully pulled him back with a chuckle. “You’re right, you can’t even get off of the couch.”

Dean laughed as he let himself be pulled down. He was half on Cas’s lap. “Keep that up and I’ll make you carry me upstairs.”

Cas wrapped his arms around him and tried to get up with Dean in his arms, but quickly realized he wasn’t strong enough. “I fear that is not going to happen. The time when I was stronger than you is long gone.”

“Maybe I need to cut back on the junk food,” he said as he patted his stomach.

Cas touched Dean’s stomach and looked up at him. “No, you don't. You’re still in good shape.” He quickly pulled away his hand when he realized the position they were in. Dean was practically sitting in his lap. 

“Um, sorry. I should let you get up,” he murmured, the annoying heat creeping back to his face.

Dean smiled and ruffled Cas’s hair as he got up. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Cas nodded, giving him a soft smile. “Sleep well. Good night, Dean.”

Dean nodded and clapped his hand on Cas’s shoulder as he rounded the couch. “Try to get some rest, too.”

Cas gave him another smile and nod. “I’ll try.”

He watched Dean go upstairs before he switched off the TV, collecting the empty bottles to put them in the recycling. He went back in the kitchen and cleaned the plates, putting the leftovers in the fridge before he checked if he had all the ingredients to bake for tomorrow. He did, so he didn’t need to go shopping.

He then put his and Dean’s clothes in the washing machine, stopping for a moment when his fingers grabbed the soft material of one of Dean’s plaid shirts. He held it to his face to smell it. Cas pointedly ignored the smile curling his lips at the warm feeling that spread throughout his chest. He loved how Dean smelled; like leather, wood, and cars. Like home.

When everything was done, he grabbed a novel about a young British woman who started to fall in love with a grumpy and proud english gentleman, and settled back on the couch. 

He tried putting off sleep for as long as possible, still hoping that he wouldn’t need it, even though he felt tired. At some point he got lost in the world of the novel, almost seeing the wild fields the characters were walking through before Dean was suddenly there, stroking over his hand like before. He felt the excitement and happiness again, his heartbeat racing as Dean leaned over to kis—

The book fell on his face and Cas realized he had been falling asleep. He sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes, his heartbeat still racing and he noticed he had an erection. Again.

Cas hoped this wouldn't become a problem. He turned on his side in frustration before he continued reading, trying to stay focused on the book.

When the book fell on his face a second time, it didn’t really register.

With a restful night’s sleep and waking up to the smell of fresh blueberry muffins, Dean had a great start to his Saturday. After getting the address of the park from Bailey, and getting Cas in something other than his stupid suit – a pair of cargo shorts and a t-shirt – they were on the road and taking the short fifteen minute drive to meet his coworkers at the park.

Dean never imagined a life in which he would do things like play football in a park with other people. Hell, even when he played Ward to Lisa’s June Cleaver, there hadn’t been a lot of the whole bonding with other adults thing. That was more Lisa’s deal, attending PTA meetings and shit like that. Dean would join her sometimes, but he always felt like an interloper. 

Having something so domestic and all his own, it was a brand new world for Dean Winchester, and while he had his momentary freakouts, having Cas at his side definitely made the transition that much easier. And he was especially grateful that he was able to be there for his friend this go round with his humanity. 

There was still an inordinate amount of guilt he felt over what happened the last time, that he was actively trying to be as cool as possible with all of Cas’s idiosyncrasies in his coming to terms with a human body and all of the fun human emotions can be. Even things like random boners, which usually would have had Dean running for the hills- he found he was far less freaked out by that stuff.

Dean summed it up to being too old to get weird about the gayer side of things. It was likely why he didn’t insist and push with Bailey that he and Cas were just friends. And at that point, considering Dean’s lack of desire to find a woman and try the whole white picket fence thing again, he was more than content to spend the rest of his days with his hetero-life-mate. 

When they found a small parking lot near the field where his coworkers were meeting, Dean parked Baby and gave Cas a reassuring smile as he got out of the car. “I don’t know who all’s comin’, but they’re all great people. I’m sure you’re gonna like them.”

Cas looked nervous as shit. A bit like the time when he had dragged him to the brothel. “Alright.” He visibly swallowed as he grabbed the picnic blanket from the backseat and the container with the muffins before he followed Dean.

Dean braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “You don’t need to be nervous.”

"I’m sorry." Cas audibly breathed in and out a few times before he gave him a pained look. "What if they think I'm weird?"

Dean chuckled. “Then they think you’re weird. It’s not the end of the world, Cas. We’ve seen what that looks like, remember?”

Cas nodded and chuckled. "Yes, still... I want to make a good impression," he mumbled. "They  _ are  _ your work colleagues… and they think I'm your husband."

“So, that means they’re not allowed to judge. Love me, love my husband.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him as they slowly walked to the park together. "Did you just make up a rule so I'll feel better?"

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’m pretty sure that’s a standard rule.”

Cas looked relieved by that, giving him a quick smile. His free hand brushing against Dean's while they walked down the pebble path, to the huge field where he could already see a few of his coworkers and even some of their kids playing.

Bailey excitedly waved them over. Dean chuckled and nodded for Cas to follow him. Bailey’s girlfriend, a curvy and fierce young lady with piercings and long dreads, yanked Dean into a hug when he was within arm’s reach. 

Dean chuckled and drew back with a smile. “How’s it going, Lyndsae?”

"Fine, as always." She leaned back with a grin before her eyes fell on Cas. "So this is your better half?"

“Yeah,” Dean said with a laugh. He reached for Cas and drew him forward. “Cas, this is Lyndsae; Lyndsae, this is Castiel.”

"N-nice to m–” Cas started but was interrupted by Lyndsae hugging him.

“It’s good to finally meet you. Dean never shuts up about you.” She grinned at him and Cas actually blushed  –  something he did a lot since he became human  –  looking down at the container in his hand. 

“I brought muffins,” he stated.

At that, Frank let out a boisterous and excited laugh. “This the angel who bakes?” he asked as he stepped behind Cas.

Cas's eyes widened before he murmured, "I'm no angel. Just a normal human being."

Dean had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. It was a good thing the average human didn’t believe angels were real, tangible creatures, because Cas’s insistence on his humanity was almost an outright admission he was anything but. He chose to rescue his friend and clapped his shoulder. “Just  _ my  _ angel. Frank, this is Cas.”

Cas shook Frank's hand with a shy smile. "It's nice to meet you. Dean speaks very highly of you."

“He better! I sign his checks,” he said in his usual jovial way before two little rugrats came running up to them.

“I wanna meet an angel!” A little girl, probably no older than seven or eight, demanded.

“Nancy, don’t be rude,” an older blonde woman gently chastised.

Cas shook the hand of the woman Frank introduced as Mia, his wife, before he introduced his daughter, Nancy. He also pointed at a young boy playing with a teen on the field with a football. “And over there is my youngest, Frank Jr.”

“Where are your wings?” Nancy loudly asked.

Cas knelt down to be at the same level as her. “They are invisible.” 

Nancy pouted. “But I wanna see them!”

“Close your eyes,” Cas murmured with a soft smile as Nancy did. “Do you know how the wings of a raven look?”

Nancy nodded and Cas continued, “Now imagine instead of feathers you have a blinding white light, burning hot as fire. Just in the shape of feathers. Can you see them?”

Nancy smiled and nodded. “Yeah!”

“That’s how they look.” Cas smiled before he stood up again. Dean noticed a sad shadow on Cas's expression. He knew no one would notice but him, because he knew Cas better than anybody.

Nancy opened her eyes and stared at Cas in awe. “I knew you were an angel ‘cause you’re pretty like one.”

Dean bit his lip again, this time trying to not laugh from how endearing the entire scene was. Cas was pretty damn good with kids and it was always fun to watch him interact with them.

"You have a very creative mind, Castiel. Are you a writer?" Mia asked as they asked them to follow them to their blankets. 

Cas put their blanket down next to theirs before he shook his head with a smile. "But lately I have been starting to read a lot of books." 

Dean smiled and braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “His father was a writer.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, looking down before he opened the container of muffins. "Dean said these muffins were demanded, so I hope I baked enough."

Without hesitating, Dean snaked one and stuffed half of it in his mouth with a big cheesy grin before everyone within the vicinity all helped themselves to a muffin.

“Oh, and I need your chocolate malt cheesecake recipe. Bailey keeps threatening to trade me in if I don’t give it a shot,” Lyndsae said to Cas with a big grin.

"Trade you for what?” Cas asked with wide eyes as he sat down on their blanket, so close to Dean that their shoulders were touching and Cas's hand was right next to his, one finger overlapping one of Dean’s fingers.

Dean laughed and shook his head. “It’s an expression. Bailey would be a fucking nut job trading Lynds in.”

“And he can't have me because I already belong to you,” Cas murmured quietly, leaning closer to Dean with a smile.

Dean let out a soft laugh, overall impressed with Cas’s ability to play a role, recalling all the times he messed it up on a case. He leaned in and whispered, “You’re getting better at that.”

Cas looked confused for a moment, like he didn’t get what Dean was talking about before he gave him a shy smile and nodded.

“Oh, man. You guys are so cute. How long have you been together?” Lynds asked.

Dean chuckled and gave Cas a pointed look. “About a decade.”

“Wasn’t that… I don’t know... complicated? With both of you being soldiers?” She asked curiously as Nancy crawled into Cas’s lap and started showing him her coloring book.

Dean was unable to refrain from smiling at how damn cute Cas was with the kid. He shook his head of the weird thought and focused on Lyndsae’s question. “No, I mean, we kept our business to ourselves and a few years later DADA was repealed.” He had never been more grateful for the fact Sammy stayed caught up with political shit and constantly tried to bore him with it.

"So when did you guys marry?" She asked with a grin

Cas looked up at Dean with a shy smile before Nancy distracted him by running her fingers through his hair, announcing that his hair was magic because it stuck up in different directions without her doing much. 

Dean smiled and said, “We haven’t made it official yet.”

Lyndsae looked excited and elbowed Bailey. "You owe me twenty bucks. Pay up."

Bailey rolled his eyes and handed her a twenty when Annalise, Diego, and his sister Dora walked up to them, carrying a portable grill and a few six packs of beer. "Hey, Winchester!" Diego greeted them first, Bailey running up to them to help carry the stuff to their blanket field.

Frank Jr. and Bryant, the teenage kid of their accounts manager Annalise, came running towards them, sweaty from playing and out of breath, asking for a Coke. Mia gave them water instead, which made both of them pout. It was a bit chaotic all of a sudden with so many people talking to each other, reaching over him to shake Cas's hand. He could see that Cas was starting to get tense. He wasn’t used to so many people either. 

Luckily they started to dissipate after a few minutes of saying hello, busy with starting the barbeque and splitting up on the different blankets before Bailey leaned over to Dean, whispering, "So, when are you popping the question?"

Dean pushed Bailey away with an eye roll. “When you pop yours.”

Meanwhile Nancy was showing Cas how to make a flower crown from the few daisies left in the grass, with Mia watching them with a soft smile. She leaned closer to Cas to ask, "You aren't interested in babysitting, by any chance?"

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Mommy, I'm not a baby anymore. It's kid sitting. And please can Castiel do it? Penelope is so-o-o-o boring."

"I work during the week, but usually only until one in the afternoon. When would you need a ‘kidsitter’?"

Mia sighed. "I teach oboe in the afternoon on Thursdays. It would only be one day a week. Our sitter sadly is very unreliable, so I desperately need someone new. I would pay you, of course, and I could even bring them over to your place, if that’s easier?"

Cas gave Dean a questioning look. “I would love to… um, Dean, is that okay with you? That the kids come over every Thursday?”

Dean shrugged, he saw no reason for them to say no. “If you’re good with it?”

Cas smiled at him and nodded before he looked at Mia. "Yes, then we can do that."

Mia gave him a grateful and relieved sigh before he nodded. "Thank you, you have no idea how much this helps. And you seem to have experience with kids."

"I have a daughter," Cas replied with a soft smile. "Although she is not a kid anymore."

Dean scoffed as he grabbed a beer for him and Cas from the cooler Diego brought over. “That’s for damn sure.” He handed Cas the beer and proceeded to watch Diego and Dora fight through sign language, at least, it looked like a fight, but they might have been excited.

“So she doesn't live with you two?” Mia asked.

Cas shook his head. “No, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Recently Claire decided to stop doing what she wanted to do for years, and now she is looking for a new aspiration. Together with her friend Kaia.”

Dean smiled and shrugged _ . _ “As long as she’s happy, that’s all we care about.”

Cas nodded. “She is very independent, and we are very proud of her.”

He always loved the way Cas talked about Claire. Hell, the kid technically wasn’t his, but he treated her like she was. And considering her fucked up life thanks to both him and Cas, it was pretty damn miraculous she considered them family.

Dean leaned back on his hands, enjoying the people watching. Dora apparently won the fight to man the grill, so Bryant had shanghaied Bailey and Diego into a pick up football game.

Annalise and Frank were deep in whatever conversation they were having, probably something to do with work. The couple times he went out with everyone for drinks, those two always ended up talking about work.

Bailey was waving over at Dean, yelling, “Come play with us!”

Dean flashed Cas a smile. “You wanna?” he asked as he pointed to Bailey.

Cas looked up in surprise. “I–I don’t know the rules.”

“We’ll explain,” he said as he stood up and reached his hand out for Cas to take.

Cas turned to Nancy with an apologetic smile. “I'll be right back.”

She gave him a thumbs up, not looking up from her coloring book that she had started to work on again.

Cas took Dean’s hand and intertwined their fingers instead of letting go again once he was on his feet.

Dean gave Cas a curious smile, but didn’t question it. He figured Cas was playing the role of the husband. When they reached the other guys, Dean brought Cas in front of him. “How’s this going down?” he asked Bailey.

Bailey grinned broadly and said, “Just a pick up game. None of the rules of the real game. Cas can be on my and Diego’s team; so that makes you, Bryant, and Lyndsae a team.”

Before Dean could question why he was on the team with the girl and the teenager, Bailey rolled his eyes as if he knew what Dean was thinking. “Bryant plays football and Lynds used to play Lacrosse. You’re on the better team, Judge Judy.”

Dean raised his hands in surrender. “Fair enough.”

Bailey clapped his hands. “Great! You’re shirts, we’re skins.”

“I never played this game. What do I need to do?” Cas asked hesitantly.

Bryant was the one who excitedly took over the conversation. “See the lines at either end of the field we made out of jump rope? Those are our endzones. We have to cross the other team’s endzone holding the ball to score points. You have to throw or hand the ball to your teammates and try to get it in their endzone. Make sense?”

Cas nodded slowly before he asked, “What if the other team has the ball? How do we get it back?”

Diego grinned. “You tackle ‘em and take the ball from them.”

“Isn't that very dangerous?” Cas asked with wide eyes.

Dean smirked at him and winked. “Don’t worry,  _ babe.  _ I’ll go easy on you.”

Cas crossed his arms over his chest. “I wasn’t worried about me.”

Dean chuckled and leaned in to whisper, “Bring it, angel.”

He could hear Cas’s breathing hitch before he quietly growled back, “You should show me some respect.”

Bailey chuckled as he pulled off his shirt. “Aww, couples rivalry. That is adorable. Get out of your shirt, Cas. You’re on our team.”

For a moment Cas looked confused before he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head, leaving his hair in an even greater mess.

Dean realized in that moment that he’d never seen the guy completely shirtless (and not because of an injury) before. Cas was… sculpted was the only word that was coming to mind. He wasn’t buffed out like Cas’s TV boyfriend, White Josh, but he was in really good shape. And a helluva lot tanner than Dean anticipated. For some reason, he was a little mesmerized, unable to take his eyes off of the guy.

“Interesting tattoo,” Diego commented as he pulled off his own shirt. “Is that a religious one?”

Cas looked down at himself as if he had forgotten about it. “Um, yes… it’s like a prayer for protection.”

Bailey chuckled and held his hand up to Cas for a high five. “Cool!”

Cas gave him a grin and high fived him, surprising Dean that Cas knew that kind of gesture.

“So how do we determine who gets the ball first?” Cas asked, taking in the distances between both endzones.

Bryant pulled out a quarter. “Coin toss. Should we make the new guys choose?”

Bailey, Diego, and Lyndsae all nodded their agreement.

Dean smiled and looked at Cas. “Alright, heads or tails?”

“Heads,” Cas replied slowly, looking slightly confused.

Bryant flipped the coin and pumped his fist. “Tails! Ball’s to us.”

Bryant grabbed the ball and stepped behind him and Lyndsae. 

Dean flashed her a smile. “Please tell me you were a goalie when you played Lacrosse?”

Lyndsae winked at him and they all hunched over, ready and in position. When Bryant called out, “Hut!” Dean and Lyndsae ran around the other guys, trying to get as close to the endzone as they could.

Unfortunately, while Dean wasn’t a total lost cause when it came to sports, he wasn’t exactly a star athlete either. Thankfully years of running into and away from danger as a hunter gave him wicked stamina and decent speed, but whether or not he could catch a hurling football... time would tell. And again, unfortunately, a helluva lot sooner than he wanted, when Bailey and Diego flanked Lyndsae, blocking her from catching the ball.

Dean started jogging backwards, still towards the makeshift endzone, as ready as he could be to catch the ball that Bryant had just hurled in his direction. When it hit his hands, Dean fumbled slightly, but managed to clutch it and bring it under his arm as he turned to run straight for the endzone.

He didn't expect to suddenly be tackled from the side and planted on his ass, the ball slipping out of his hands before it was grabbed by another pair. He saw Cas giving him a quick smile before he ran away with the ball.

Dean shook his head and immediately jumped up, chasing after the angel. He realized just how much of an advantage the skins side had, seeing as the only thing Dean could grab was Cas’s shorts, which he did, but he also accidentally grabbed the guy’s ass too. It had shocked Cas enough that Dean managed to tackle him to the ground, but Cas was refusing to let go of the ball.

The way Dean was panting in between surprised laughter almost drowned out Bryant crying out, “Alright! First down goes to skins.”

Dean smiled and moved to get off of Cas, holding his hand to help him back up.

Cas took his hand and let himself be pulled up, right into Dean's space. He gave Dean a heated look. "Next time you won't get me."

He was entirely incapable of repressing the bark of surprised laughter. Cas had a competitive streak. Dean kinda liked it. “We’ll see about that.”

Cas walked up to Diego to give him the ball and he whispered something to Cas, making him nod. When they started again, Diego threw the ball to Bailey instead of Cas, like Dean had thought and they ran down the field before Bailey threw a long throw over towards Cas. Cas caught it, running directly towards Dean with a determined expression, suddenly dodging Dean, running past him.

Dean quickly flipped around and, nodding to Bryant, the two of them came up on either side of Cas. Dean got Cas by the hips and Bryant snaked the ball from Cas, running in the other direction. The kid was fucking fast.

Dean grinned at Cas and patted his ass, like football players usually did, and said, “Nice try, angel.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look, his cheeks flushed red before he ran down the field again to help his team mates, who were trying to get the ball back from Bryant.

Dean casually walked, because apparently none of them could catch up to the kid before he crossed the makeshift endzone and spiked the ball. 

“Yeah! Suck it!” Bryant celebrated.

“Bryant!” Annalise chastised, causing the teenager to look down with a sheepish expression before he murmured an apology to his mother.

Lyndsae picked up the ball and tossed it to Bailey with a smirk. “We’re winning, so you’re up.”

Bailey blew her a kiss before they started again. This time Cas was the first one they tossed the ball to, and Cas managed to dodge Lyndsae before running down the field. Shortly before he reached Dean, he threw the ball over to Diego. He gave Dean a quick wink before he darted past him.

Lyndsae slammed right into Diego, but he managed to toss the ball back to Bailey before she wiped him out. No one was near Bailey, so he darted straight for their endzone. Bryant was on his tail and just before he crossed the endzone (and getting tackled by Bryant) he threw the ball, seemingly to no one.

Cas appeared out of nowhere and slid across the grass to catch it. Dean wasn't able to stop in time as he collided into him, pushing Cas forward into the grass and landing on Cas's back. 

Dean immediately rolled off of him and tapped his shoulder. “You okay?”

Cas groaned and scrunched up his nose as he turned around to look at him. "Are you really still eating fast food when I cook for you every day?"

“Are you calling me fat?” Dean asked in a surprised chuckle.

"That hurt," Cas complained, rubbing his chest.

Dean rolled his eyes and helped Cas up. “Thought you weren’t worried about yourself,” he quipped with a smirk.

"If I had known you would constantly trip over me, I would have been," Cas retorted, shaking the grass out of his hair.

“I wouldn’t trip over you if you could hold onto the ball,” he teased as he took the ball from Cas’s hands and darted toward the endzone.

Cas tackled him back, this time pushing Dean down into the grass. Cas was immovable on top of him as he tried to get the ball out from under Dean's body. 

Dean chuckled as he forced himself on top of the ball as much as possible, basically using his body to play keep away. 

"Dean, give it to me!" Cas growled as he tried to turn Dean around.

“Whoa, boys! This ain’t your bedroom!” Lyndsae barked out with a laugh. 

Dean shook his head and tried to urge Cas off of his back. “Cas, come on, man.”

The heavy weight of Cas's body vanished and Cas held out his hand to help Dean up. His whole body seemed flushed and he avoided Dean’s gaze. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Before Dean could respond, Frank called out to them to come get the burgers Dora had finished cooking. Dean chuckled and leaned in close, smacking Cas’s ass again. “Good game.”

Cas gasped and gave Dean a confused look before he rubbed his ass with a pout and looked away from Dean again. 

"Yeah, Cas, pretty good for your first time," Bailey commented, and Cas smiled at him. 

"Thank you."

Dean looped his arm over Cas’s shoulder and gave him a smile. His skin was warm and a little sweaty. The guy really was becoming human. “Hear that? Not bad for your first time.” He winked at Cas and guided him back to the blankets.

Cas looked up at Dean with a soft smile. The sun was shining directly on his face, making his eyes shine even brighter. "It was a lot of fun. Although, I think I will get a bruise on my chest. I landed on something hard."

“I’ll give you some balm for it later,” Dean said as he pulled Cas down onto the blanket with him. Today had been a really good day. This whole domestic, human life was really starting to grow on Dean.

Cas stumbled through the door after he had needed three tries to open it. The last beer had been too much. He also knew that he would regret it the next day, but he didn't care. Because he felt pretty good. The day in the park had been really nice. He twirled around and pointed at Dean's chest. "I have a question." The words were heavy on his tongue. "Why did you slap my ass?"

“It’s a football thing,” Dean murmured in a chuckle as he stumbled towards the kitchen. “Want another?” he asked as he held up a beer.

"I thought it was for when you punish someone. Like the pizza man and the babysitter." Cas looked up and nodded, because he would regret tomorrow anyway.

Dean barked out a laugh. “Oh, man. No wonder you looked so confused!” He returned with two new beers, handing one to Cas as he shoved him towards the couch. 

Cas chuckled and tried to grip Dean's shirt so he wouldn't lose balance. "This was a really great day. I had a lot of fun."

“Me too,” he said as he pushed Cas onto the couch before dropping himself onto it next to him, their entire sides touching because Dean’s aim was clearly off.

Cas took a sip from his beer before he put it down on the coffee table and pulled up his shirt to his chest, revealing a red angry bruise on his pec. "I think it was a branch or a stone."

“Shit,” Dean breathed out with a laugh as he touched the mark. “I thought you were being a baby.”

Cas glared at him, but with no real heat. "I'm not... and you said you would make it better."

Dean nodded. “Yeah, uh…” He braced his hand on Cas’s knee to push himself up as he disappeared in the direction of the bathroom.

Cas leaned against the backrest and turned his head so he could look over the couch, seeing when Dean would come back. This whole day Dean had been close to Cas, he had even held his hand at one point. Cas noticed he really liked that everyone thought they were a couple. It presented him with a lot of opportunities to be close to Dean. And although it made his heart race, and his stomach and chest feel weird sometimes, he really liked that tingly feeling. It was exciting.

When Dean came down the stairs again, Cas gave him a bright smile, waving at him over the couch's backrest.

“Shirt off,” Dean barked as he hopped over the back of the couch onto the seat next to him.

Cas leaned a little backwards before he grabbed his shirt and tried to pull it over his head. It wasn't easy. His head got stuck and he wasn't sure about his arms. At one point, he just leaned forward, trying to push it over his head, his stomach and chest exposed while his head was still inside the shirt. “Why is this so difficult?” he complained, voice muffled from the fabric.

Dean was laughing as he helped him pull it the rest of the way off. “Drunk Cas equals clumsy Cas.”

The air crackled where the shirt dragged over his hair, making it stand up with the electrostatic charge interacting with some of the clothes' material. He pouted. "Not clumsy."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in amusement as he chuckled again. “Sure.” He opened the jar he had and dipped his hand into it. Without pomp and circumstance, Dean braced his hand on Cas’s chest and started rubbing, a soft, “This might be cold,” murmured about half a second too late.

Cas startled slightly and scrunched up his nose, goosebumps trailing all over his body, but Cas knew it wasn't just from the cold. Dean was touching him. And it felt really good. So good that he started to shiver. At least he had the cold balm to blame. "So if you rub this here, it’ll make the bruise go away?" he asked softly.

Dean shrugged with a ho-hum noise. “It’ll help it heal faster and alleviate the pain. But it won’t cure it.” He used his other hand to show Cas the ointment. “When you don’t have grace, this works almost as good.”

Cas read the name on the ointment and nodded, saving this information in case he needed it again. "I see." He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation of Dean's hand on his body. "Dean?"

“Yeah?”

"What does 'popping the question' mean?"

Dean chuckled again. “It means asking someone to marry you.”

Cas sighed and leaned a little bit closer to Dean. "That makes sense." Bailey had asked him about it – when Dean wasn't around – and Cas had been confused what Bailey wanted to know. "Are you going to ask me?"

Dean quirked his brow at him. “You get we’re just pretending, right?”

Cas blinked up at him. "Of course. Bailey told me you would 'pop the question' if he asked Lyndsae. I just wondered what that was about."

At that Dean patted Cas’s chest with a soft chuckle. “Bailey asked me when I was gonna pop the question to you. I told him when he asked Lynds.”

Cas tilted his head. "Did you know at the time that he already bought her a ring?"

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. He appeared impressed. “Go Bailey.”

Cas sighed deeply and let himself fall back into the pillows. "Mia asked that too. If we have plans to marry. I had no idea what to say to that. It might have been easier to stick to the lie that we're already married."

Dean shrugged as he grabbed his beer and relaxed against the couch. “Could always tell people we don’t believe in marriage. They’ll eventually back off.”

"Wouldn't that be rude, considering Sam is married, your friend is getting married, and your boss is also married?"

“Let me ask you something, if you were married and a friend of yours didn’t believe in it, would you make them feel bad about it?”

“No, of course not,” Cas answered, taking a sip from his bottle before putting it back on the table.

Dean saluted Cas with his beer. “There’s your answer.”

Cas had a feeling his question wasn’t quite answered, but he suspected that was mostly because he loved to pretend to be Dean's husband. For some reason, the thought gave him a feeling of security. Like Dean would really stay with him. Even though he knew that probably wouldn't have any influence on it... maybe he really was just a romantic at heart. "I really like the kids," he mumbled, pushing his feet under Dean's legs because they were getting cold.

“Yeah, they seemed pretty damn smitten with you, too.”

“I think Nancy really believes I’m an angel.” Cas chuckled, pressing his face into the pillow.

Dean smiled. “It’s ‘cause you are.”

Cas chuckled tiredly into the couch pillow. “I don’t feel very angelic.”

Dean leaned over and ruffled his hair. “You’re always an angel to me.”

Cas hummed and leaned into Dean’s hand. “Why does it sound like you’re using the word as a term of endearment, when I know for a fact that you think all angels are dicks?” And yes, he was very proud of himself for getting the whole sentence out without slurring. At least, he hoped he talked clearly. It sounded clear in his mind.

Dean chuckled. “You’re a dick too, but you’re the only one I like, so for you, it isn’t an insult.”

Cas looked up from his pillow and pouted. “Why am I still a dick?”

“Well, to be fair, you haven’t been a dick to me in a long time.”

Cas leaned back into the pillow and looked up at Dean with a soft smile. “I want to make you happy.” That was probably slurred, his tongue felt very heavy.

Dean returned the smile and gently chucked Cas’s chin. “You do.”

Cas smiled brightly before he remembered, “Oh, oh, Dean.” His fingers tapped against Dean’s arm. “Did you see that a-a-a-all the muffins were eaten? There were no leftovers, even though I baked so many.”

“I did,” he said with a soft laugh, “and I only ate eight of them.”

Cas chuckled and shook his head, regretting it instantly because it made the room spin. “E-eight?” He hiccuped. “Where did you put them all?” He chuckled again, trailing his index finger over Dean’s stomach.

“Weren’t you the one who called me fat earlier?” Dean flicked Cas’s nose.

Cas scrunched up his nose and squinted his eyes at Dean. “I did not call you fat. But you were heavy, lying on top of me.”

“Big baby,” Dean teased.

Cas pushed his feet deeper under Dean’s legs before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Not a baby,” he protested. “I can do a lot of things.”

Dean nodded as he patted Cas’s leg. “I’m just teasing you, Cas.”

“Why?” Cas asked quietly. 

That was met with a shrug as Dean finished off his beer. “‘Cause that’s what you do with people you’re comfortable with. People you trust more than most people.”

On one hand, Cas was happy that Dean felt comfortable around him and trusted him. On the other hand, he wished there was more, because Cas knew he felt more for Dean. At first it had been exciting and nice. Every time his body tingled when Dean touched him. Now he just longed for Dean constantly, every touch, even the slightest one, was like pouring hot oil onto a fire. He sighed deeply and shook his head. "Humans are weird."

“Fuck you too, Cas,” Dean said with a soft laugh and teasing smile.

Cas furrowed his brow. "I didn't say–" He squinted his eyes at Dean, "Oh, you're teasing again. Yeah, I stand by what I said. Humans are weird. Especially you. So weird. But you’re very warm and my feet are cold. So that’s nice."

Dean chuckled. “Be nice or I’ll tickle your cold feet.”

Cas gave him his best rendition of Sam’s puppy eyes. "What? No! I thought I was your friend? You wouldn't do something so awful to me."

“Then stop telling me how weird and fat I am,” Dean returned with a quirked brow.

"I never said you were fat!" Cas replied, a little louder, "and you said being weird is  _ not  _ a bad thing!"

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Alright, killer. Calm down.”

Cas pressed himself into the pillow again before he murmured, “And even if you did gain weight, you would still be very attractive.”

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter. “That right?”

Cas threw one of the pillows at Dean's face. At least he  _ tried.  _ The pillow actually flew right over Dean's head, not even close to hitting him. "Hmm, yes. As if you didn't know that."

Dean’s eyebrows followed the course of the pillow’s trajectory, an amused smirk on his face. “Yeah, but you’ve never told me I’m pretty before.”

"It's because you taught me to stop stating obvious things," Cas mumbled, feeling that his stupid face was growing hot again.

Dean’s chuckle was warm and amused. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

"You said I'm devastatingly handsome." Cas chuckled into his pillow. He was pretty sure Dean hadn't meant it though. He probably only said it to sell him to the waitress.

“It’s the baby blues. I don’t know if it’s ‘cause you’re an angel, but no human alive has eyes that blue.”

"Did my eye color change since my grace is gone?" Cas asked curiously. Because if it did, he didn’t notice.

Dean leaned in close, grasping Cas’s chin as he looked deep into his eyes. Dean furrowed his brow and hummed. “I can’t tell in this light.”

Cas reached out to the lamp next to the couch and switched it on, his eyes never leaving Dean's. His heart was beating fast again with Dean being so close. "Better?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded, his tongue poking out as he examined Cas’s face. “No. It’s the same. Weird.”

Cas's gaze fell on Dean's tongue and he parted his lips, licking over them because they suddenly felt dry. He looked up at Dean. "Your eyes are a lot greener than should be possible, too. Maybe some people just have very vibrant eye color."

Dean nodded again, gently patting Cas’s cheek as he sat back against the couch. “I remember that night in the barn, when we first met. I thought, ‘this guy’s too pretty to be the badass who saved my ass from Hell.’”

Cas chuckled and looked at the ceiling. "And you would have been right. I got this body after I rescued you from Hell." Cas grabbed his shirt and clumsily pulled it over his head, patting it down. "This isn't what I look like." He shook his head. "Well, that's not true anymore, is it? This is what I look like now."

“Is what you told Nancy true? About how your wings really look? I only ever saw the shadows.”

Cas nodded before he shook his head. "They once looked like that." 

“Not anymore?” he asked as he stood up again, grabbing his empty beer bottle as he started walking towards the kitchen.

"When I found my grace, it was heavily damaged by the spell. The moment I reconnected with it, I felt my wings burning to ash." He still remembered the pain from that. 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “So you don’t have ‘em anymore? I mean, other than the being human thing?”

Cas shook his head. "No, their remains are still there. But I have no connection to them anymore since my grace is gone." He shook his head, taking in a deep breath, exhaled in a sigh. "Sometimes I think I still feel them, but I know that isn't possible. It's like a phantom itch, a sensory memory of how they used to feel."

Dean reached out and grabbed Cas’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “I’m sorry you lost so much for us.”

Cas pulled Dean closer and down on the couch again, touching his shoulder with his other hand. "Well, I'm not. I'm happy where I am now."

“Really? I just can’t imagine how. I’m like the fucked up bad boy you turned your back on your family to elope with,” he said with a mirthless chuckle.

Cas's hand slid from Dean's shoulder to Dean's cheek. "You mean the family that wanted me dead most of the time, or happily would have thrown me into a cell for not following orders? I know what's right and what's wrong. And I know I made a lot of mistakes on the way, but staying with you was the best decision in my life, and I never regretted it."

Dean cupped Cas’s hand against his cheek with his own hand and gave him a very soft, almost pained smile. “Well, you’re our family now.”

"And you're mine," Cas replied softly.

“Good,” Dean murmured as he let go of Cas’s hand and sank back against the couch with a new beer.

Cas slowly sank back with him, rubbing his arms because he felt a weirdly cold shiver. "I'm cold," he complained quietly.

Dean quirked his brow. “You want me to get you a blanket?”

Cas nodded mutely, trying to bury himself closer towards the pillows and the back of the couch.

He felt the couch dip as Dean disappeared until a moment later a down comforter was being draped over Cas. Dean smiled down at him as he tucked him in. “Do you want to go to your bed?”

Cas shook his head, his head felt warm, but he was still feeling cold even under the blanket. "I don't want to sleep. I hate sleeping."

Dean braced his hand against Cas’s forehead. His eyebrows shot up. “Cas? I think you have a fever.”

Cas blinked up at him, pressing his head against Dean's nice cool hand. "Mmhh, I'm an angel, I can't get a fever," he slurred before he shook his head. "Oh, wait, no. I'm not an angel anymore."

“No wonder you’re so loopy,” he said with a fond chuckle as he disappeared behind him again, only to return a few minutes later with a glass of water and a bottle of human medication. Dean sat on the side of the couch, smiling down at him. “Sit up a little so you can take these.”

Cas groaned and tried to push himself up, but it wasn't easy. His muscles felt like jelly and they hurt. "What is that?"

“Tylenol. It’ll bring down your fever. And I think we should get you to your bed. It’ll be more comfortable when you fall asleep.” Dean gave him a reassuring smile as he pressed a couple of pills into the palm of Cas’s hand.

Cas frowned at him before he gave him a pained look. "Can't I just stay here?" The prospect of being cold and alone in his bed wasn't really appealing. At least here he had Dean. And Dean was warm. He took the glass of water and swallowed the pills, noticing that his throat hurt a little bit when he swallowed.

Dean pushed Cas’s hair out of his face. “If you really want to, but your bed will be more comfy and if you have a cold, or flu, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.”

"But... you're not in my room," he whispered, his eyes fluttered shut for a moment.

Dean let out a soft, almost awed sounding laugh. “Wanna crash in my bed with me?”

Cas nodded sleepily against the pillow. He wanted to keep Dean's warmth. "Yeah," he breathed out. "You're warm."

That was met with a soft chuckle before suddenly he was floating. It took Cas a moment to realize Dean had lifted him into his arms and started carrying him up the stairs. 

He pressed his face against Dean's chest with a hum, inhaling the scent of grass, autumn, and something uniquely Dean; a scent Cas had come to relate to feeling at home now. Unrelated, his mind reminded him that it was unfair Dean could carry him without any problem, while he suddenly seemed to have difficulties with that task. 

Dean was breathing a little heavy when he reached the landing, but he still flashed Cas a sweet smile as he carried him the rest of the way to his room, carefully placing him on the bed. “Want me to grab your PJ’s?”

Cas wasn't sure if he was already dreaming. He nodded with a soft smile. "Thank you," he murmured as he tried to bury himself under the blanket when a freezing chill ran over his body and made him shiver.

Not long after he heard Dean return. “I grabbed you the bee ones.”

It was a dark blue, long sleeve and cozy pajama top with a friendly smiling bee on the the front. Dean had bought them for Cas, and Cas loved those PJ’s more than anything. "Thank you." He shivered as he sat up on the bed and tried to pull off his shirt. He made a frustrated noise when his arms fell down again. His muscles were completely useless. 

Dean chuckled and the bed dipped as he felt his friend’s weight next to him. “Lift your arms,” he gently ordered.

Cas lifted his arms before he felt Dean's warm hands, sliding up his shirt and carefully pulling it over his head. He even helped him pull on his bee top. Cas shivered every time Dean's fingers came into contact with his skin, and he was glad the fever was covering that up.

Dean smiled. “Do you want the bottoms or just stay in your boxers?”

"The bottoms. They are warmer," Cas explained tiredly, noticing his eyes were drooping, as he shimmied out of his cargo shorts, letting them fall from the side of the bed.

Dean handed him the bottoms and moved to stand up. “I’m just gonna clean up downstairs and I’ll be right back. Do you need anything else?”

Cas shook his head, waiting for Dean to leave before he exchanged his boxers with his pajama bottoms. He remembered that he hadn't brushed his teeth yet, so he slid out of the bed, waiting for the dizziness to fade before he more or less stumbled to the door to reach the stairs. 

The dizziness got worse when he reached them so he slid to the floor and sat down at the top of the stairs, shivering when the weird coldness ran over his body again. He had no idea how he could get down with the room spinning, and his legs feeling like pudding.

When Dean appeared at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes widened and he darted up towards Cas. “What are you doin’, Cas?” The question wasn’t accusatory, he seemed genuinely concerned.

"I..." he shivered again. "I just wanted to go and brush my teeth."

Dean let out a soft laugh as he reached for Cas’s hands. “That can wait until morning, come on.”

Cas grabbed Dean's hand and let himself be pulled up before he wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on his shoulder, murmuring, "You're so warm."

“I know you don’t feel it, but you are too,” he said as he started walking Cas back to his room.

"Why am I so cold then?" Cas asked quietly, trying not to stumble over his own feet. It would have been easier to just let go of Dean, but he couldn't.

“‘Cause of the fever,” he said as he easily lifted Cas into his arms.

"When will it go away?" Cas asked tiredly, relaxing against Dean's warm body before Dean put him down on his bed again, wrapping his blanket around him. He instantly missed his warmth and let out a quiet, whining sound before he shivered again.

Dean chuckled and suddenly the bed dipped behind him as Dean crawled into the bed. “It’ll probably be a day or two, maybe longer if it’s a flu.”

"That's annoying," Cas breathed out, sliding backwards to get closer to Dean's warmth. "I have to work on Monday." 

“If you aren’t better tomorrow, I think you should call in sick.”

Cas turned to look over his shoulder. "But Allan needs me." He shivered again, sliding even closer to Dean, but there was so much of the blankets between them.

Dean shook his head. “Not if you’re contagious he doesn’t.”

"Contagious?" Cas asked, and quickly slid away from Dean again. "I don't want you to get sick because of me. Maybe it's better if I sleep in my own bed then."

Dean chuckled and pulled Cas close, wrapping his arms around him. “Shut up. I have a steel immune system.”

Cas sighed and curled closer, into the warmth. "Promise me? That you won't get sick because of me?" he whispered, closing his eyes.

“Cross my heart.”

It was enough because Dean always kept his promises. Cas hummed tiredly, his head was starting to throb. "Thank you for staying with me. Maybe you can keep the s–stupid nightmares away."

Dean hummed. “I’ll try.”

Dean had done it before. Saving him from what Naomi had done to him. Somehow the thought, and feeling Dean's arms around him made him feel safe. Safe enough to just close his eyes and welcome falling asleep for the first time since he became human.

Dean woke up with an angel attached to his chest. Or rather, a former angel. Cas was snoring, he sounded wicked congested and he ruffled the guy’s hair. It prompted some kind of noise from the guy, and he pressed his face against Dean’s chest.

Even through the fabric of his t-shirt, Dean could feel the heat coming off of his friend. He was burning up. “Angel’s first cold,” he murmured as he held the back side of his hand against Cas’s cheek. He was going to need to get more meds in him. Maybe some vitamin C.

Dean gently shook Cas’s shoulder. “Cas? Can you let me up?” he whispered, hoping to not startle him.

Cas answered by pressing his face harder against him, whispering, "No."

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Come on, sunshine. You need more medicine.”

The angel groaned and murmured something that sounded suspiciously like, "I'm dying." But he still didn’t move, instead the arms around him grabbed him a little tighter.

“I can fix that,” he said as he ruffled Cas’s hair, “I’ll be right back with you.”

Cas tentatively slid from on top of Dean to his side, blinking up at him. "Please come back quickly. It’s cold without you.” His voice sounded pitiful with the clogged up nose.

Dean chuckled and caressed the side of his face. “I promise.”

Cas leaned into his hand with a hum, almost like a cat as he closed his eyes again, looking like he was instantly falling asleep again.

Now free from his best friend’s grip, Dean made his way downstairs and grabbed the DayQuil he had leftover from the last time Sam got sick, and started pouring a large glass of orange juice. He figured Cas probably needed to eat something too, so he grabbed the bread and popped a couple slices in the toaster.

Dean leaned against the counter as he waited for the toast, feeling weirdly content. He liked when he got to take care of someone. When Sammy became an adult, he didn’t need his big brother as much anymore, unless he was sick.

And he didn’t mind a cuddly former angel taking that role in his life. Dean chuckled as he recalled Cas’s level of adorable petulance over being sick. It was weird how warm he felt from how attached Cas was to him.

He was smiling as he finished Cas’s toast and made his way back to his room. Dean sat on the side of the bed after putting the food on the nightstand, and gently shook Cas’s shoulder. 

“Cas?”

Cas's hair deserved the expression ‘bed head’ for once as he blinked up tiredly at Dean, clumsily reaching out with a warm hand that grabbed his wrist. "M’back to bed?" Cas murmured.

“In a sec. I want you to take some medicine and eat something first. Can you sit up?”

"I'm not hungry, Dean," Cas whined before he coughed and scrunched up his nose. "Do you have a tissue?"

Dean nodded as he grabbed a packet of tissues from the drawer and cupped his cheek. “Try? For me?”

Cas gave him a pained look before he sat up with a groan, rubbing his forehead, nodding. "Are you using the fact that I would do anything for you to get me to eat?"

“Absolutely,” Dean said with a smile.

Cas gave him a soft smile before he grabbed the toast and carefully took a bite. He scrunched up his nose when he swallowed. "It hurts when I swallow, Dean. I feel horrible... Everything hurts."

Dean took the plate back and handed him the glass of orange juice as he handed him the DayQuil. “Yeah, you’ve definitely got something.”

Cas looked up at him with a pitiful look as he grabbed the orange juice with both hands, a grown man had no right looking like a cute squirrel. He took a few sips before he drank all of it in one go. He made another whining noise as he shivered again, and gave the glass back to Dean. "Do I have to eat all the toast? It's so scratchy."

Dean shook his head. “No, sleep a little longer and I’ll make you sore throat friendly food when you wake up.”

Cas gave him a relieved look. Dean could see Cas's eyes were glazed over. "Are you coming back to bed?" 

“Sure,” he said with a chuckle as he took a bite of Cas’s toast before getting up to get on the other side of the bed.

"Won't you get sick if you eat that?" Cas asked with a worried expression.

Dean grinned at him. “Promised you I wouldn’t.”

When Dean got comfortable on the bed, Cas instantly slid over and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head on his chest with a contented sigh. “Please tell me you don’t have to get up again.”

Dean carded his hand through his hair. “Not until later, but you’re eating soup later so I’m gonna have to get up to make it.”

Cas made a soft, protesting noise, gripping his shirt over his stomach. Dean could feel that he was still radiating a lot of warmth. “I would be content with just drinking juice,” Cas murmured against Dean’s chest, before pressing his warm leg against Dean’s when he slid closer, his body still shivering.

Dean wrapped his arm around him. “You’ll like the soup, it’ll be warm and easy to swallow.”

“Maybe, but I don’t like that you have to get up for it, taking all the warmth with you,” Cas hummed in reply.

“Maybe we should get you an electric blanket, huh?” Dean murmured as he pushed Cas’s hair back. It was a little weird how comfortable he was with cuddling a grown man, but sick Cas was pretty damn endearing.

“Why? I have you,” Cas murmured after a beat of silence.

Dean chuckled. “What’re you gonna do when I have to go to work?”

Cas let out another weak noise of protest, and tightened his grip on Dean’s shirt. “I’ll call... Frank, tell him you can’t come to work. Because I need you.”

Dean had to bite his lip. No adult man should be so adorable. “Alright, if you call in sick tomorrow, I will too.”

Cas moved his head and Dean could see he had trouble holding it up as he tried to look at him. “You’ll really stay with me?”

“Yeah, Cas. Someone’s gotta take care of you.”

Cas gave him a soft smile before he rested his face against Dean’s chest again. “Thank you, Dean… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to the crown of Cas’s head. He suddenly tensed. That was a really fucking weird instinct. He hoped Cas’s delirium would make him not realize what Dean had done. “You’d do the same for me,” he whispered, trying his damndest to not have a full on meltdown.

“Yeah,” Cas breathed out quietly. “I would do anything for you.” Cas’s fingers softly slid over Dean’s chest before he curled them into his shirt again.

Grateful for the fact Cas didn’t seem to pick up on the inappropriate PDA, Dean started rubbing his back. “I know you would.”

After a moment Cas hummed again, murmuring, “That feels nice. My back has been hurting a lot lately.”

“Welcome to being an old human,” he said with a chuckle.

“I’m used to being old,” Cas murmured thoughtfully. “It never made my body ache before.”

“You haven’t been an old human before though, right?”

Cas shook his head. “No. Just an old angel… very old.”

Dean chuckled. “When you’re feeling better we’ll hit up a massage parlor.”

“What is that?” Cas asked after a moment, pressing his face against Dean’s chest.

“A place where you get massaged.” Dean really didn’t know a better way to describe it.

“Like what you’re doing at the moment?” Cas asked tiredly.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, just a little rougher, get all the aches and knots out of your back.”

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Cas asked with a hum.

“Yeah, sometimes, but it’s a good kind of hurt.”

Cas looked up at him again with a frown. “Good kind of hurt? I can’t imagine that is a thing.”

“Oh, it is,” Dean murmured, unable to stop the memories of times with Rhonda Hurley and that dominatrix he met when he was a demon.

For a long moment Cas was quiet, maybe he had fallen asleep again or maybe he was just thinking before he suddenly asked, “Is massaging someone related to sex?”

“It can be, I’ve been to a rubmap or two in my lifetime,” he admitted.

"What is a rubmap?" Cas asked, sounding curious.

Dean chuckled, more at himself than Cas. Sober, non-loopy Cas wasn’t familiar enough with slang to understand that; on a good day, fever-drowsy Cas had no chance. “It’s an Asian Massage Parlor. And after the massage it turns into… kinda like that brothel I took you to all those years ago.”

"Oh," Cas breathed out and Dean could feel him tense for a moment. "so... you had sex with those women?"

Dean craned his neck to look him in the eye. “You think the kind of guy who knew where to take you to get laid wouldn’t do it himself? You know I’m not a saint, Cas.”

"Yeah, I know," Cas murmured, snuggling up to Dean again with a sigh. "How do you know it's a place for sex and not just a massage?"

“There’s usually a code system. Been up to illegal tricks since I was a kid.” Dean let out a surprised scoff, shaking his head at himself. “It’s kinda crazy I’m going legit, considering I’ve basically been a criminal my whole life.”

Cas tensed again and curled away from Dean before he sneezed. He sounded like a baby kitten. "I'm glad we're doing this... going 'legit'," he replied with a stuffy nose.

Dean leaned against Cas, their chests pressed together, forcing Cas’s face against his neck as he grabbed the tissues off of the night stand. When he drew back, the way Cas was looking up at him, an almost dazed awe, was… He didn’t know how to describe what it made him feel, so he forced himself to change the subject. He gave Cas an unsure smile as he handed him a tissue. 

"Thank you," Cas murmured before he turned to look away and blow his nose. He groaned lowly before he fell back against Dean and curled himself closer, wrapping one arm around Dean's stomach. "I feel horrible."

“I know, buddy. It’ll pass though,” he assured as he started rubbing Cas’s back again.

Cas groaned. "Can you press there? With your finger... right under my shoulder blade."

Dean did as he asked, turning his hand to knead the knuckle under Cas’s shoulder blade. There was a hell of a knot. “There?”

"Yeah," Cas breathed out. It sounded like a mixture of pain and relief. “Now I know what you meant.”

Dean chuckled. “Told ya’.”

"Can you do it on the other side too?" Cas asked with a gasp.

“You want a full massage?” Dean couldn’t help but chuckle, impressed he refrained from making a crude comment of the happy ending variety. For some reason, that level of commentary was par for the course with Dean, but in that moment, he didn’t like what the images accompanying the thought made him feel.

Cas looked up, his eyes still glazed over and Dean could see his friend's fever was still running high. "Yes, that would be really nice."

“Alright,” he agreed as he shifted slightly. “Take off your shirt, or if it’s too hard just pull it up as high as you can.”

Cas slid to the side and fumbled with his bee pajama top, clumsily pulling it up, over his face before he scrunched up his nose and shivered. "Why is it so cold in your room?" he complained before sliding back under the blanket.

“Fever, remember?” he said with a laugh as he grabbed the Jergens from his drawer and poured a little in his palm.

Cas crossed his arms under his face, sounding muffled, "I just want it to stop."

“We’ll get you there,” he assured as he warmed the lotion in his hands, before he leaned over Cas and pressed his hands against Cas’s shoulders.

Cas groaned lowly and Dean could feel how hot his skin was beneath his hands. "Oh, that feels so good," Cas breathed out, his body shivered under Dean's hands.

Dean really started working out Cas’s knots, trying not to think about how the guy’s skin felt under his hands, the way the muscles flexed and tensed.

Cas gasped and he tensed when Dean's finger worked higher over his shoulder blade. "Uh, Dean... not there."

Dean halted his movement but didn’t remove his hand. “You okay? Did I hurt you?”

Cas shook his head. “No, just a very sensitive area… it shouldn’t be anymore. It should feel normal. It’s where my wings are.”

“Does it hurt? I mean I could massage there too?” he offered as he pressed both of his palms on either side at that spot.

Cas gasped before he moaned into his pillow. "Dean... no, it doesn't hurt."

Dean did retract his hands then. It suddenly clicking into place  _ why  _ Cas wanted him to stop. “Sorry,” he murmured.

"It's okay," Cas mumbled, sounding a little flustered.

Dean grabbed Cas’s pajama top and gently patted his back. “Why don’t we try sleeping some more?”

When Cas kneeled up on the bed, one side of his face was red and had pillow lines. He gave Dean a dazed look before he shrugged on his pajama top again. "Thank you, Dean. Sleep sounds pretty good actually."

Dean gave him a small smile and nodded. “Then let’s do that.”

Cas slid under the blanket again, but instead of cuddling up to Dean like before, he turned around on his side with his back towards Dean, pulling his legs up to his chest. "Good night, Dean," he mumbled.

In that moment a wave of guilt washed over Dean. He turned his back to Cas as well, trying to figure out exactly how he could apologize for essentially bad-touching his best friend. “Night.”

Cas sneezed again, groaning before shuffling on the bed. "I'm dying," he mumbled.

“You aren’t,” he murmured back, turning over to give him a reassuring look.

Cas gave him a pained look in return. "But it feels that way... Can you distract me?"

Dean fully turned onto his other side, facing Cas again. “What’s goin’ on?”

"My head hurts... everything hurts. I just want it to stop," Cas murmured from beneath his blanket. Dean could only see Cas's glazed over eyes and crazy hair looking out.

Dean gently caressed Cas’s arm over the blanket. “Hopefully the medicine will start doin’ its job.”

Cas blinked at him before he asked, "Can you come closer? I'm really cold."

Even though Dean thought it might be a terrible idea, his body still shuffled closer. He lifted his arm and said, “C’mere.”

Cas slid closer inside his blanket and pressed his face against Dean's chest. "Thank you," he murmured tiredly. 

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas. “Good to feel useful.” He chuckled.

Cas snuggled closer to Dean. "Thank you for letting me stay last night. For the first time I didn't have a nightmare."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re still having them?”

Cas looked up at him and nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “Every night.”

Dean gently rubbed Cas’s upper arm. “Damn, Cas. That sucks.”

"Now you know why I don't like to sleep... but with you here, it's... better," Cas mumbled, barely coherent.

“Stuffed animal is lookin’ more and more logical, isn’t it?” he teased with a sweet smile.

"Why can't you be my stuffed animal?" Cas asked sluggishly.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Go to sleep, loopy.”

Cas hummed, pressing closer, but Dean could still feel Cas shivering. After a few more minutes Dean could hear Cas lightly snoring again.

He looked down at his peaceful face, gently cupping his cheek. Dean shook his head at himself. There were thoughts trying to push themselves to the front of his mind, but Dean was cutting them off, not even allowing them a voice. It was gonna end bad. That much he knew, but in that moment, Dean succumbed to the quiet and closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

  
  


**** ****

Cas quickly emptied the bag of black plastic spiders onto Dean's bed before he pulled Dean's blanket over, essentially hiding them. He smiled, running down the stairs, because he heard the Impala's engine in the driveway, meaning Dean was finally home. 

Cas wanted to surprise him. Sam and Eileen were coming tomorrow morning for a visit and staying there for the week starting the weekend of Halloween. Cas had brought a lot of Halloween decorations home from the store, decorating their entire home while Dean was at work. He had a few pumpkins on the porch, had hung up spider webs from their windows, and had updated the formerly kind looking scarecrow into a spooky one. He was pretty proud of his work. He was also trying out some recipes that were holiday themed, and the whole house already smelled like the apple-strawberry pie he had in the oven.

He hoped Dean would like it enough to agree to carve out a pumpkin with him later. Cas quickly grabbed a bowl with candy as he ran to the door, opening it before Dean could unlock it, greeting him with an excited grin. "Hello, Dean." 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he chuckled. “Hey, Cas. Are you practicing for trick-or-treaters?”

“Yes! Do you think a lot of children will come to our house?" Cas asked as he let him in.

He stepped through the doorway, looking around at Cas’s work as he took off his jacket. “No idea. I never really did it myself.”

"This will be our first holiday together," Cas stated with a smile before he walked into the kitchen to check on the pie. "Do you like how the house looks?"

Dean gave him a smile and then his eyes widened. “Do I smell pie?”

"Yes." Cas looked at the timer before he turned around. "It's an apple-strawberry pie. I found the recipe on the internet. It'll be done in a few minutes. I really hope you like it."

“Good, so I’ll get to eat it all before Sammy and Eileen get here,” he said as he made his way to the fridge. 

Cas raised his eyebrows. "But... I thought..." Cas rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe he should bake another one tonight… just in case Dean ate all of the pie.

Dean chuckled as he popped the cap off of a beer and leaned against the counter. “I’m fucking with you. I’ll save Eileen and you a slice,” he said with a wink.

“What about Sam?”

“What about him?” Dean smirked at him before he took a swig of the beer.

"Don't you want to save him a slice of pie, too?" Cas asked slowly.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You get I’m kidding, right?”

"Oh." Cas squinted his eyes at him. "Are you sure? Because when it comes to you and pie, that isn't always clear."

Dean blew him a kiss before he took another swig of his beer. “Fuck you too, Cas.”

Cas guessed that meant Dean really was joking and Cas didn't need to bake another one. "Good, because there is a lot of other stuff I wanted to prepare for tomorrow. I've planned a whole Halloween themed dinner. Oh, and I ordered pizza today because I didn't manage to cook. I hope that's okay." He grabbed his orange juice and took a sip before he sat down with Dean on the couch. "How was your day?"

“Long,” he said with a groan as he stretched his arms out. “Tempted to grab a nap.”

"I could wake you up when the pizza arrives? They said it could take a while." In that moment Cas remembered what he had done to Dean’s bed. It was incredibly difficult to  _ not  _ grin like a maniac.

Dean rested his head against the backrest of the couch. “Yeah, I think I might. We’ll have to get up early tomorrow to pick them up.”

Cas bit his lower lip and looked away, to hide the grin that he couldn't suppress any longer. 

"Yes, I'm so looking forward to their visit." He knew he would sleep really poorly, no matter when he fell asleep. After his flu he returned to sleeping on the couch, or wherever he happened to fall asleep, and his nightmares returned. It was nice to have a brief reprieve from them, during that short period of time when he slept in the same bed as Dean. The comfort of his warmth was apparently able to insure Cas’s sleep went undisturbed. He almost wished to be sick again, just so Dean would allow him to sleep in his bed.

Dean took another swig of his beer. “Ditto. It’s been too long.”

"Yes." Cas leaned back and gave Dean a soft smile. "But with him and Eileen texting so much, it sometimes feels like they aren't that far away."

Dean chuckled. “Yeah.” He turned his head, still resting against the backrest, and gave him a sweet smile. “So, what are you gonna dress up as?”

"You want to see my costume?" Cas asked, unable to quell his excitement. He had made the costume himself, and since he found out the hard way that he was very bad at crafting, he had looked up the easiest selfmade costume online. Plus Nancy helped him with it last Thursday.

Dean nodded. “Sure. I can hang for another minute or two.”

Cas jumped up from the couch and went into his room, throwing his costume over his head. It was a white sheet, that completely covered his entire length. It had small holes in it so he could see where he was going, and Nancy had drawn a creepy looking smiley face on it. She told him she had never seen a spookier ghost. 

Even though Cas knew that ghosts didn't look like this at all, but he had kept that information to himself. Especially after Nancy and Frank Jr. watched  _ Casper the Friendly Ghost  _ with him to show him what ghosts were  _ supposed  _ to look like. 

He quietly made his way back to the couch, hoping Dean wouldn’t be too scared when he saw him.

When he rounded the couch, Dean burst into laughter. “Oh, my god, I can’t…” He waved his hand as he sat forward, bracing the beer on the coffee table while his other hand clutched his abdomen.

Cas tilted his head. He hadn't expected Dean to laugh. Though, it made quite a bit of sense because Dean had seen a lot more scary things in his lifetime.

"I know ghosts don't look like this, but Nancy and Frank seemed to believe that they do," he explained, "and Nancy drew the face. Is it not scary enough?" 

Dean wiped the mirth from his eyes and shook his head. “Not even in the slightest. But it’s good. You should stick to it.”

Cas sighed, letting his head droop in time with his shoulders sinking. "I thought I would scare the children if I opened the door for them in this… If it's not scary, what is it?"

“It’s Charlie Brown,” he said with a soft laugh. “You don’t need to scare the kids anyway.”

Cas slumped down next to Dean on the couch. "You're not even a  _ little  _ scared? What if you woke up, and I was hovering over you dressed like this?"

“I’d check you in to the nearest nut house,” Dean said with a wink. He patted Cas’s knee. “It’s cute, though.”

Cas was happy Dean couldn’t see him blush under his costume. “Thank you,” he murmured. “I’ll prepare my bed for you tomorrow. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

“And that’s different from normal  _ how?”  _ Dean teased with a small smirk.

Cas pulled off his costume and grinned at him. “It isn't, that's why I’m offering.”

Dean chuckled and finished his beer. “How long before the pizza gets here?”

“Probably more than thirty minutes. You can take a nap. I'll wake you.”

Dean groaned. “Not sure if it’s worth it. Maybe I should just wait for pizza then pass out for the night.”

Cas reached over the back of the couch and massaged his shoulders. "Are you very hungry? I could make you something now and you can eat the pizza in the morning. I know you like eating it cold." Cas scrunched up his nose. He hated cold pizza.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “You don’t gotta do that. Maybe I’ll nap here, if you don’t mind me stealing this bed, too?”

Cas gave him a soft smile. “Of course I don't mind. And I know I don't have to do that Dean, but I like doing it. I like doing things for you,” he said as he stood up from the couch and rearranged his pillows for Dean to lie down.

“I know we pretend for my coworkers, but you don’t have to be my husband, Cas,” Dean said with a soft laugh as he moved to lay down on the couch.

Cas froze before he carefully drew back. "First of all, we pretend to be  _ boyfriends  _ for your co-workers, not married. And second, I do these things because you're my family. So, as long as you’re not actually marrying me, I am  _ not  _ your husband." Cas folded his ghost costume, lips curled downwards in a pout. He didn’t like how Dean’s comment made his chest hurt. 

Dean sat back up, bracing his hand on the back of the couch, the other hand up in question. “Is that buggin’ you? Pretending with me? ‘Cause say the word and we’ll stop, man. Especially if this is how you’re gonna be about it.”

"Of course it doesn’t bug me. I'm not the one calling you my husband whenever you're nice to me,” Cas retorted before he stomped to the kitchen to check on the pie.

Footsteps indicated Dean had gotten up to follow him. He grasped Cas by the elbow and turned him to face him. “Why are you being so bitchy?”

Cas pulled his elbow away. "I'm not 'bitchy'. I just don’t like it when you say things like that.” He looked away. “You almost make it sound like behaving as your romantic partner is something bad.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Okay, now I’m really lost.”

Cas rolled his eyes. "I  _ like  _ taking care of you and doing things for you. It makes me happy, and it makes me feel useful. I don't see why that is a bad thing."

“I never said it was. I was just…” Dean sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know if you were doing it ‘cause you thought you had to or something. I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

Cas frowned and wondered what Dean meant by, ‘take advantage.’ “I'm offering because I want to. If I don't want to so something, I won’t do it."

“Good, that’s all I give a damn about.” Dean sighed and turned to go back to the couch.

Cas leaned back against the kitchen counter before he murmured, "Why do you say, ‘acting like your husband,’ like that is something bad?"

Dean stopped his movement, bracing his hand against the frame of the entryway. “It just comes out. I don’t have control over it.”

Cas walked up to him with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. The response comes out before I even have a chance to stop it.”

Cas looked at his feet and sighed deeply. "Do you… um…” He shook his head, giving him a soft smile. "You're tired. I’ll try not to disturb you."

Dean nodded and made his way towards the staircase. “Wake me in an hour?”

"Of course." Cas nodded before he realized Dean was going to his room. "You don't want to nap on the couch?"

“Nah,” he said as he flashed him an insecure smile, “figured I should stay out of your way.”

Cas's heart clenched painfully as soon as he noticed the insecure smile. Perhaps he had said too much? Especially if he had made Dean uncomfortable. He wondered if Dean noticed that Cas  _ wanted  _ to be Dean's romantic partner. "Okay, um, sleep well."

“Thanks,” he said as he ascended the stairs.

Cas walked back to the oven and switched it off before he grabbed the mittens and pulled out the pie, putting it on the counter to cool down. It looked and smelled really good. He hoped it would taste good.

He leaned against the counter and tried to listen to any noises upstairs. He wondered if Dean discovered the spiders in his bed yet.

A beat later he heard a loud thump followed by a, “Son of a _bitch!” _After another beat, and from the top of the stairs he then heard, “Castiel!”

Cas raised his eyebrows. It wasn't often that Dean used his full name. He stepped out of the kitchen and looked up. Cas gave Dean an innocent look. "Yes?"

Dean was shaking his head, coming down the stairs with a handful of spiders. “Drop the doe-eyed angel face. You  _ know  _ what you did.”

Cas chuckled and looked at Dean’s handful of plastic spiders. “How did those get there?” It was payback for the fart pillow Dean had put on his chair all of those years ago.

Dean clicked his tongue. “Oh, angel. You’re gonna pay.” He stepped close, grabbing Cas’s hand as he shoved the spiders into his palm. “At some point, somewhere, in some way, I’m gonna get you back.”

"You’ve already played pranks on me. We're even now," Cas replied, closing his fingers around the spiders.

Dean let out a chuckle. “That’s definitely not how that works. Just you wait,” he breathed into Cas’s ear before he moved to drop himself on the couch.

Cas threw the plastic spiders on the couch. "I thought you wanted to sleep in your bed?"

“It’s contaminated now.” Dean brushed the plastic spiders off and turned onto his side as he pulled a throw blanket over himself.

Cas couldn't stop grinning as he walked to the couch and leaned over the backrest to look at Dean practically hiding under the blanket. "They’re just plastic spiders, Dean.”

“And you’re a dick, Cas,” he murmured against the cushion he had against his chest.

"Do you want me to go to your room and collect the rest? You know... um... save you from the plastic spiders invading your bed?"

Dean shrugged. “Do whatever, I’m stealing your bed for now.”

Cas chuckled, his gaze wandering over Dean. For a fearless hunter, Dean could really be cute and funny sometimes. "Alright. I'll watch over you," he whispered with a smile.

Dean gave him a thumbs up before he curled onto his side and proceeded to try and nap on the couch.

Cas smiled before he quietly walked up the stairs to collect the rest of the plastic spiders from Dean’s bed. When he came back downstairs, Cas decorated the window sills with them. Hopefully that way they wouldn't scare Dean anymore. 

Cas grinned. He couldn’t get over the fact that his prank worked. He started to quietly clean the kitchen, plotting the organization of his next day all while thinking that he wished he had seen Dean’s face when he lifted the blanket. He got goosebumps all over his body when he remembered how Dean had called out to him using his full name. He had no idea why he reacted like that, but he liked the feeling. 

When he was done, he grabbed another glass of orange juice and went outside on the porch, waiting for the pizza man. Although it was late October, it wasn’t too chilly outside without a jacket. Cas decided to still be careful and took one with him, just in case. He didn’t want to end up with the flu again. That experience had been horrifying, except for the fact he had been allowed to be close to Dean. 

After he was healthy again, they lost a lot of that closeness, and he missed it now. 

Ten minutes later the pizza man finally arrived with an apology for taking so long. Cas didn’t mind waiting, though. He wanted Dean to have a nice, relaxing nap. After he put the pizza on a plate, he quietly walked over to Dean and held it under Dean’s nose. “Dean,” he whispered softly, not getting enough of the beautiful, relaxed features of his friend. “Pizza.”

Dean moaned appreciatively as he blinked his eyes open, looking up at Cas with a happy smile. “Mornin’, sunshine.”

Cas wished Dean would greet him like that every morning… not that it was morning at the moment, but still… it was nice. He smiled at Dean, his reply a soft, “It's still evening, Dean. Are you hungry?”

Dean nodded as he moved to sit up, for once his hair standing in a haphazard array. “Did you get it with bacon?”

"Of course." As if he ever would get the pizza without bacon again. Not after the way Dean moaned and whined about it that first time.

“You’re the fucking best,” he groaned out as he rested his head on Cas’s shoulder.

Cas loved how cuddly Dean became when he was tired and comfortable. "Are you still tired?"

The yawn that was met with was answer enough. Dean chuckled and straightened himself up. “Yeah, but I’ll eat some pizza, maybe have another beer or two, and then go pass out for the night.”

Cas handed him the plate with a smile. "I'll get you one," he said as he stood up to get another beer for Dean. Cas stuck to his orange juice. He needed to be healthy for the next day. And he didn’t like how he felt the day following an evening of drinking.

Dean took the beer with a big smile. A little dopey. It was his favorite of Dean’s smiles. He looked like he was about to say something, but shook his head and laughed softly as he proceeded to dig into his pizza with gusto.

Cas grabbed his own plate and leaned back against the couch rest before he started eating his pizza. “I feel strangely tense, Dean. I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow. In my head I keep repeating all the things I need to do tomorrow, and I can’t seem to stop and just relax.” It wasn’t a nice feeling. Like a mixture of looking forward to tomorrow, but also being anxious about it. He wanted everything to be perfect for Sam and Eileen. 

Dean chuckled and ruffled Cas’s hair. “Aww, you’re nervous.”

Cas gave Dean a soft smile. He liked when Dean had his fingers in his hair. It felt good. He squinted his eyes at Dean, letting the information sink in.  _ Nervous.  _ It was fitting for what he felt. “But I want them to come. I can’t wait to see them again. I don’t understand why I feel nervous. It’s contradicting.”

“‘Cause you care about what they think, ‘cause they’re family. You hope they like our place, our life. Because you do.” Dean shrugged and took another swig of his beer after finishing his second slice.

Cas chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. “Yes. I want everything to be perfect. I want them to visit more often.”

Dean nudged his shoulder into Cas’s and smirked. “Cute.”

He tilted his head. “What is cute?”

“You are,” he said as he leaned forward and grabbed another slice out of the box.

Meanwhile Cas had learned that when he felt his face grow hot it was called blushing, and it was actually visible on his face when it happened. Dean had called him cute. He had no idea what to say to that other than smile and try to hide his face by eating pizza. 

After a moment he quietly said, “I’m sorry about earlier. I cleaned your bed of the remaining plastic spiders. I hope you’re not still angry with me?” he asked hopefully.

Dean smiled and shook his head. “I wasn’t mad at you earlier. And thanks. I’d have made you sleep in my bed as punishment if you didn’t.”

“Why would sleeping in your bed be a punishment?” Cas asked in confusion, wondering if Dean meant he would also sleep in his bed then.

“You hate sleeping in beds,” he said as he sat back against the couch, arm braced on the backrest.

“It was okay when I was sick,” he explained carefully. “When you were there, I didn’t have any nightmares.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? I’d have thought your nightmares would have been worse from the fevers.”

He gave him a soft smile. “No… Since I’ve become human, that was the first time I slept without having them.”

Dean appeared thoughtful for a moment before he turned his beer bottle around against his knee. “Well, I don’t care if you wanna bunk with me.”

Cas gave him a wide eyed look. “You… don’t?”

Dean shook his head and finished his beer. “No, dude. We can try tonight, and if it works for you, feel free to climb in my bed whenever.”

Dean’s words made his heart rate spike, and he couldn’t keep himself from smiling before a thought crossed his mind. “Even when Sam and Eileen are here? I mean, can I sleep with you in my bed?”

“Sure.” He leaned forward and grabbed another slice.

For a moment Cas wondered if it was still about the plastic spiders. That Dean didn’t want to sleep alone because he really hated insects and spiders. It wouldn’t have been the first time Dean avoided a room because of insects, and Cas had to take them outside. But he wasn’t going to look a gift giraffe in the mouth. “Okay.” He gave Dean a bright smile. “Thank you, Dean. That is very nice of you.”

Dean shrugged noncommittally as he shoved half the slice in his mouth in one bite. “No big.”

It was a big deal for Cas. Not only because he could be close to Dean, but sleeping without nightmares again would be a big relief. He finished the last piece of pizza from his plate, and the orange juice before he carried his plate to the kitchen and started cleaning them up. His gaze kept wandering to the to-do-list (that was pinned to the fridge) for the next day. He had started making the lists so he wouldn’t forget anything. He would need to set an early alarm for tomorrow. 

He opened the fridge to check on the dough for his zucchini bread, and if he had all the ingredients ready, when Dean came into the kitchen, putting his empty plate in the sink. 

Cas looked over his shoulder with a smile. “I’m making zucchini bread tomorrow for lunch with a tomato soup, and spicy chicken and avocado wraps. And for dinner it’ll be pepper steak with rosemary potatoes and salad. Oh, and I have pie for the afternoon... I hope you will like it,” he said as he closed the fridge door and started to clean up Dean's plate.

Dean leaned against the doorway with a serene smile. “Chuck bless all those damn cooking shows you’ve been watching.”

Cas chuckled and put the plate back into the cupboard. "I like cooking. It's like having a mission with strict orders to follow. And it's very rewarding when it's done."

Dean shrugged as he folded his arms over his chest. “I’m not complaining.”

"Of course you wouldn't." Cas poked Dean's stomach with a grin. "The most rewarding thing is to see how much you enjoy eating what I make."

Dean clutched his stomach and grabbed a handful. “Just more to love now.”

Cas stroked his thumb over the man’s stomach with a chuckle as he shook his head. "That is very true."

Dean chuckled and pushed Cas’s hand away. “Dick.”

Cas laughed and shook his head. "Hey, I like the way you look now. Much healthier than before."

Dean rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I’m not really complaining about it either. Being human has its perks.”

Cas gave him a bright smile. "I agree." 

Especially because, since they had started their new life, he couldn't be any happier. He loved his new life, because it really felt like he had found something special, something an angel would never get, no matter how long they lived.

Only humans were privileged to get a reward at some point. To end up in their personal Heaven, feeling at peace. And this, their home, it was Cas's personal Heaven. And the best part was that he could share it with Dean.

It was an ungodly hour when Dean woke up, likely because he knocked out a little after nine. When he blearily blinked his eyes open, as he shifted to get up, a heavy weight was pinning him to the mattress. Dean furrowed his brow until he remembered Cas slept in his bed with him. And was presently clinging to Dean like a teddy bear. 

He chuckled as he looked down at the growth on his chest, gently ruffling Cas’s hair. He knew what he was getting him for Christmas. 

But between Dean’s bladder and his morning wood, he needed to get up. Dean gently shook his friend’s shoulder. “Cas? Let me up?”

Cas made a protesting noise and growled something that sounded like, "No, pillow."

Dean chuckled and tried to peel his arm off, but the guy was bizarrely strong in his half asleep state. “Cas, come on.”

Cas huffed, and looked up at Dean, blinking tiredly. "But I was just collecting the honey," he mumbled almost unintelligibly, his hand softly stroking down Dean’s stomach before he pushed himself off of Dean and curled into a ball next to him.

Dean smiled at him, and gently rubbed his shoulder as he moved to get out of bed. He stumbled to his bathroom, half awake as he pulled his cock out, and hissed at the tremor of pleasure it caused. If Cas wasn’t less than five feet away, he probably would have had a jerk off session. Especially with how much of a bitch it was to piss with a hard on.

When he made his way back to the bed, Cas was right in the middle of the bed. He could probably get a good thirty or forty more minutes of sleep, so Dean slipped into the bed, trying to urge Cas to scoot back. “Pillow wants more sleep, dude.”

Cas hummed, and gave Dean more space before he turned around to wrap his arm around Dean, resting his head on his chest. "S… sleep," Cas murmured, his hair tickling Dean’s chin, and he could feel the guy’s fingertips softly stroking over Dean's side where his t-shirt had ridden up and exposed his skin.

Dean swallowed dryly at the weird sensation that coursed through him. He could probably sum it up to the fact he had morning wood, and Cas’s touching was exacerbating his situation. Maybe his body wasn’t computing it was a guy who was touching him. He tried to ignore it as he turned on his side, slipping his arm under his pillow.

Cas made a protesting sound before he slid closer, his arm still loosely around Dean's waist. He wasn't stroking him anymore, but he could feel his warm breath on his neck before Cas pressed his forehead against Dean's shoulder.

It was like when Cas had the flu all over again. Dean would never admit it, but he kind of enjoyed the cuddling. Which meant he was seriously lonely if cuddling Cas was doing something for him. Without thinking about it, he wrapped his arm over Cas’s, and closed his eyes in contentment.

After a few moments, Cas's arm tightened around him, his palm was pressed softly over the hem of his shirt, and Cas's little finger touched his bare skin underneath. He could feel his breathing hitch against the back of his neck, followed by a soft whimper.

Dean craned his neck to look back at him. Apparently crashing with Dean didn’t offset his nightmares like he thought. “Cas?” Dean whispered.

Cas didn't reply, instead he pulled Dean closer and pressed his face against his shoulder, his breathing went from fast to normal again. "Dean," he murmured softly against his shoulder, the grip around him started to loosen again, but now his hand slipped a little lower so it was completely touching his skin now, gently stroking over his lower belly.

Dean turned in his embrace as much as he could, considering the guy’s grip, brow furrowed as he tried to look at Cas. “Cas?” he repeated, still just as quiet.

Cas blinked one eye open at Dean, scrunching up his nose. "Mmmh?"

“You okay?” 

"Yeah," he breathed out tiredly. "Just tired. Do I have to get up?"

Dean smiled, and shook his head. “You can stay if you want, I’ll pick them up.”

Cas scrunched up his nose, and shook his head. "No... I want to go with you. What time is it?"

“Early, we can get another half an hour of sleep before we have to get up.”

"Okay." Cas gave him a soft smile, his hand slowly sliding over Dean's stomach as he seemed to instantly fall asleep again.

Dean chuckled, and shook his head. He closed his eyes, and relaxed into the cuddling.

Cas slid closer, his forehead pressed against Dean's elbow as his breath evened out. His thumb slipped lower, stroking just over the hem of his boxershorts.

And that’s when Dean tensed. He grabbed Cas’s hand, and pulled it higher, away from the danger zone. 

Cas let out a soft sigh, and intertwined their fingers, holding his hand.

Dean looked down at their intertwined hands, trying to process what it was he was feeling. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, but… it was weird. He shook his head, and forced himself to close his eyes again.

Cas let out a soft, shuddered breath before Dean suddenly felt soft lips pressed against the side of his chest, where Cas had slid closer, pressing his face close to his side.

Dean tried to tune it out. The sensations, the way they were making him feel physically and emotionally.

A soft moan fell from Cas's lips as his grip tightened around Dean's fingers, and he could feel Cas’s other hand pressed against his stomach now, dangerously close to his dick.

Dean held his breath, frozen to the spot. He didn’t know what to do, how to react, although he knew what he probably  _ should  _ do.

With every shaky exhale, Cas’s hand slid lower and closer to Dean’s dick, but sliding up again with every inhale. It felt like a torturous, but gentle see-saw of teasing.

Dean figured as long as he wasn’t encouraging the movement, then he wasn’t  _ technically  _ doing anything wrong, like imagining things he shouldn’t imagine.

Cas's breathing hitched again, and he pressed closer, his hand slipping lower in the process, so close that, with every exhale, he could feel the slightest pressure against the head of his dick from the way Cas's hand pushed against the fabric of his boxer shorts.

Shit, this was starting to get all too real, far too fast, and yet Dean was still frozen in place. Eyes screwed shut as he tried to pretend this was normal.

Cas's thumb started stroking over the hand he was holding, a soft and content sounding sigh leaving his lips. Lips that were pressed against his chest.

Dean squeezed his hand, and chanced a look at his face, because falling asleep wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Cas looked so peaceful. He couldn’t help but smile down at him for a moment before he returned to trying to fall asleep.

Cas gasped quietly before his hand suddenly dipped closer, touching the head of Dean's dick over the boxershorts.

Dean instantly recoiled, and ended up almost falling off of the bed as he pushed himself away from Cas. Just as his balance on the edge of the bed teetered, his alarm went off, and the shock of it caused Cas to fling his arm out. And like that Dean fell off of the damn bed, landing unceremoniously on his ass. Dean just groaned, and shook his head. 

_ Helluva way to wake up. _

Cas sat up on the bed with wide eyes, looking alarmed and confused. "W–what happened?" He reached over, and shut off the alarm before he leaned over the side of the bed, looking down at Dean. "Are you okay?"

Dean let out a soft chuckle as he shook his head. “Apparently, my life is a Stooges episode.”

"Did I push you out of the bed?" Cas asked, sounding a little shocked.

Dean shrugged. “Kinda. It was both our faults.” He groaned as he moved to stand up. 

Cas gave him a sheepish and regretful look. "I'm sorry." When Cas moved to get up, he gasped as the blanket fell, and Dean could see that Cas's boxershorts were tented. He could also see that Cas suddenly tensed, appearing mortified.

Dean wasn’t clueless, he wasn’t stupid. Clearly, Cas had been having a sex dream, and Dean was involved at one point or another, in whatever context. But he chose to ignore it, because understanding that, acknowledging that, would mean he’d have to acknowledge his own bodily response to what happened. 

With a shrug, Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Morning wood. It’s a bitch.”

Cas gave him a shy, insecure smile, and nodded. "Yeah, it's annoying," Cas growled, sounding slightly frustrated.

Dean chuckled, and shrugged it off, for Cas’s benefit. “You can use my shower. I’m gonna make us some coffee.”

Cas gave him a soft smile before pulled his shirt off. "Thank you," he murmured before walking towards Dean's bathroom, his cheeks still tinged a red hue.

Dean let out a deep exhale, and made his way downstairs in a sort of daze. Maybe he just needed caffeine. That would explain all of the conflicting and wrong thoughts he was having. He was stuck in a half asleep haze that was making Dean think the reactions, responses he was having to Cas. The gay thoughts… He was just tired. That had to be the reason.

He sighed as he waited for the coffee to brew, staring off into space as he braced his hands against the counter. When the machine dinged, Dean shook his head of the fog and grabbed a couple of mugs. Since Cas was mostly human now, he started taking his coffee like Dean did. The angel still preferred sweet things, but not at the same level he did before. 

When he took a sip of his coffee, leaning against the counter, Dean sighed in contentment, already starting to feel more awake. 

When Cas came down the stairs, he was only wearing a towel, his hair still dripping wet, but spiked like he had toweled it dry. And now it was standing up in a million different directions. The urge to call him a hedgehog was a little stifling. 

Cas gave Dean a shy smile through the open door before he walked towards his own room, probably to get some clothes.

Yeah, the caffeine wasn’t kicking in fast enough. He turned to the pot, and contemplated how safe it would be to mainline the stuff. Or maybe use RedBull instead of water for the next pot.

When Cas came back, he was wearing a pair of snug-fit, dark jeans and one of Dean's plaid shirts, that he had borrowed and somehow never returned. He took the coffee with a soft smile, murmuring, "Thank you," before he took a sip and let out a soft groan. "You always make it perfect." 

Dean chuckled, and shrugged. “One of the few things I can cook.”

Cas gave him a pointed look. "You also make perfect burgers. And you made me soup when I was sick."

“Yeah, but that soup was from a can,” he returned as he drank more of his coffee.

Cas chuckled before his eyes suddenly brightened. "Sam and Eileen are coming today." He said it like he had just realized what day it was. Considering how tired he looked, that probably was the case.

Dean smiled. “It’s the reason we’re up at the buttcrack of dawn.”

Cas tilted his head. "I wasn't aware dawn had a buttcrack."

“Turn of phrase,” he reminded him. It was an innate response now.

"I see," Cas murmured thoughtfully before he asked, "Are you hungry? I could make breakfast?"

Dean shook his head. “I wanted to hit that diner on the way to the airport.”

Cas nodded, and leaned back against the kitchen counter, closing his eyes for a moment. "Thank you for letting me sleep next to you. I didn't have any nightmares." He looked down at the floor before he added, "And I'm sorry for pushing you out of the bed. I wasn't aware that I move around in my sleep."

“It was both our fault, remember?” Dean said, feeling a little guilty about how bad Cas felt. But not enough to tell him he accidentally touched Dean’s dick while he was sleeping, and that’s how he ended up on the edge of the bed in the first place.

Cas chewed on his lower lip for a moment, clearly pondering over something before he finally asked, “Is it still okay that I sleep in the same bed as you?”

Dean instantly wanted to say no, but considering Cas seemed to only get restful sleep next to another person, he couldn’t bring himself to deny him. “Sure, Cas. Told you you could.”

Cas looked incredibly relieved by that. “Thank you. For some reason… it’s really helping me. And it’s nice to sleep on a bed for a change, and not wake up with my back or neck hurting for once.”

“If you have nightmares anyway, why do you crash on the couch instead of in your bed?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “That isn’t intentional. Most of the time I just try to avoid falling asleep for as long as possible, and I read something on the couch… and then I fall asleep anyway.”

Dean nodded. “Well, start reading in bed so I don’t have to try and sleep on the couch with you.” He flashed Cas a small smile.

Cas nodded, and returned the smile. "I would read in bed if you're there too."

“Then just get in my bed to read,” Dean suggested as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

Cas gave him another bright smile before he finished his coffee. and started to clean his cup. "When do we need to leave?"

Dean looked at his watch. “If we want breakfast, probably in the next ten minutes.”

"I'm ready when you are."

Dean nodded, and finished his second cup. “If you grab my jacket for me, I’ll meet you by the door.”

"Okay." Cas sounded adorably excited before he left the kitchen. He hadn't stopped smiling in the last two minutes, which was pretty damn nice to see.

Dean chuckled to himself as he rinsed out his mug, and put it next to the pot. He grabbed Baby’s keys, and when he rounded the corner to the door, Cas was holding Dean’s jacket against himself, shuffling on his heels. 

He reached out for his jacket, and shook his head at Cas, still smiling at him. “You’re acting like they’re royalty or something,” he said with a soft laugh.

"I haven't seen him in months," Cas explained with a pout.

Dean chucked his chin before he slipped on the jacket, and pushed the door open. “Still, it’s just Sammy.” Damn, he never thought he’d say those words.

"Do you think they will like the house?" Cas asked when he followed him and got into the car.

Dean started her engine, and gave him a sideways glance. “Cas, just breathe okay? They’re just gonna be happy to see us. And considering some of the places we’ve squatted in the past, yeah. They’re gonna like the place.”

Cas fiddled with his fingers, and chewed his lower lip as he fastened his seat belt. "Okay... I hope I have enough food," he murmured, looking out of the window.

Dean grasped his knee. “Cas, everything’s gonna be great.”

Cas gave him a weak smile, nodding. "I'm sorry, Dean. I don't know why I'm so nervous."

“You lived with the guy for years, it’s kind of strange, but I get it.” Dean patted his knee and returned his attention to the road.

Cas didn't say anything for a while before he quietly said, "I was never sure if Sam was really okay with us not being hunters anymore and me... staying with you."

Dean furrowed his brow, and looked at Cas like he’d lost his marbles again. So much so, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the guy tried to pull out a board game in that moment. “What? Why would he give a shit about that? He got out of the life before we did. Several times.”

Cas looked down at his lap. "Because maybe he thinks I'm holding you back from really getting out of the life. Even though I lost my powers, I'm still an angel. Demons could pick up on that and... I don't know... Or maybe he thinks I'm holding you back from finding someone special too."

It was pretty clear that those were worries Cas had, and he was just projecting them onto Sam.

Dean pulled Baby over, and unbuckled his seatbelt before he slid over and pulled Cas into a hug. “It doesn’t matter what Sam thinks. I’m happy with my life.”

Cas tightened his grip around him, pressing his face against his throat. He could hear him taking in a shuddered breath before he slowly pulled back. He looked up at Dean with a small smile, his eyes full of gratitude and happiness. "I'm happy, too," he murmured softly. 

Dean returned the smile. “You gonna stop acting so freaked now?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, giving him a sheepish smile. "Yes. I'm sorry, Dean."

“Don’t be sorry. Just be yourself.” Dean chucked his chin again, and slid back behind the wheel.

Cas rubbed over his chin as he scrunched up his nose. A second after that, his stomach growled. "Oh," he breathed out, looking down at himself with a frown. "I thought about cooking so much that I got hungry."

Dean chuckled and started Baby again. “Good thing we’re getting breakfast at our diner.”

Cas gave him a bright smile before he chuckled. "Are you afraid I'll eat you if we don’t go to... our diner?"

And Dean’s mind immediately went to the gutter before he realized exactly the type of eating Cas was implying. He cleared his throat, and shook his head. “Nah, I’m not a microwave burrito, so I’m safe.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Are you though?"

Dean quirked his brow in retaliation. “Only thing of mine you’ll get to eat…” and he stopped himself because  _ whoa…  _ that was not a line he used on guys.

Cas tilted his head with a smile. "Is what? Your belly?" He smirked at Dean, and luckily for Dean, Cas seemed to have no clue where he was going with his sentence.

Dean cleared his throat, and nodded. “Something like that.”

Cas laughed, and shook his head. “Don’t worry. I won’t eat you, no matter how hungry I get.” His stomach growled again. “And no matter how threatening my stomach sounds.”

Dean smiled, and nodded. “Good.”

Cas just gave him a soft smile in return before he leaned back with a sigh, and closed his eyes. He still looked tired.

“I thought you got better sleep with me?”

“Yes.” Cas yawned before he looked at him. “Why?”

Dean chuckled, and reached out to tap Cas’s lips. “That. The yawning.”

Cas's breathing hitched audibly the moment he touched his lips. He gave Dean a long look before he stammered, "Um... yes... I–I didn't sleep a lot the night before... and the night before that wasn't much better."

Dean gave him a soft smile. “Just need to catch up, huh?”

Cas mirrored the smile, and nodded. “Yes. The night before I only slept for three hours, and before that… two, I think.” His expression turned shy as he added, “With you it was six hours. But I still wished we could have slept for a while longer.”

“Well, I’m sure after we get Sam and Eileen settled in, we could all take a nap.” Dean winked at him as he took the turn for the road to the diner.

“I'm not sure if I have time for a nap. I still have so much to do today with cooking.”

Dean shrugged. “We compromise. You take a nap with me, then I’ll be your kitchen helper.”

Cas seemed surprised by the offer. After a moment he smiled, and nodded. “That’s very nice of you. Thank you.”

“Hey, the amount you do around the house, I should help out,” he said with sincerity. Because Cas always took care of him.

“You work so much longer than I do. And you know that I love to do the housework and cooking. You don't need to help me.”

Dean chuckled. “I won’t lie, I love it too, but I’m happy to help.”

“Well, in that case, I wouldn't mind a quick nap if you help me afterwards in the kitchen. You could cut the vegetables, for example,” Cas suggested tiredly.

Dean groaned. “Boo vegetables.”

Cas rolled his eyes, but his expression was fond. “You have never not liked anything I’ve cooked so far. Just trust me on this.”

Dean poked his tongue out at him, but he didn’t argue. Cas wasn’t lying. “Well, it’ll make Sammy happy.”

Cas gave him a smile. “I know. I promised him and Eileen healthy food when they came to visit, but I made enough compromises to it, that you will be pleased too.”

The urge to make another husband joke was on the tip of his tongue, but Dean managed to keep it in. Especially recalling their last fight about it. “You made me pie. I’ll eat whatever veggies you want.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “That is some useful information. Does that mean I could try making a vegetarian dish, and you would eat it if I served pie for dessert?”

“Now let’s not get crazy.”

“It was worth a try.” Cas laughed at that, and shrugged. It was so very human. Dean had noticed that Cas started to change more and more. How he held himself, and how he moved. It was less stiff than before. 

Dean smiled at him as he pulled into the parking lot of their usual diner. When he snagged a parking spot in the large, practically empty lot, he nodded for Cas to follow him inside. After Doris sat them at their usual booth, bringing Dean and Cas a cup of coffee without even asking, he settled into the seat, and smiled. “I’m tempted to try something new from the breakfast menu, but… bacon and eggs is classic.”

“Well, I’ll get something with fruit. You are welcome to steal from my plate if you want to try something different, but can’t commit to it because of bacon.” Cas gave him a smile. “Bacon is a strong argument.”

“Damn, you’ve learned well,” he breathed out with a chuckle. 

“I’m going to be strong though, and stick to vitamins. I felt a little out of it because of the lack of sleep, and I don’t want to get sick again.” Cas sighed, and buried his face into the menu before he put it down and nodded. “But I will enjoy the smell of bacon from your plate.”

Dean gave him a pointed look. “Bacon won’t give you the flu, Cas.”

Cas frowned. “I didn’t say it would. But I need the vitamins from the other breakfast.”

“I wouldn’t judge if you went for both.” Dean winked at him as he flipped open the menu, knowing damn well he was probably going to order the all-American breakfast, as usual.

“I would judge myself, though,” Cas replied with a soft smile. “Also, I thought that I might take up running. Sam told me now that I’m human I should work out to stay in shape.”

Dean groaned and dropped his head against the menu. Was nothing sacred? Losing his best friend to healthy living too? “Damnit,” he grumbled.

Cas tilted his head. “What?”

“Now I’m outnumbered,” he murmured as he sat back up.

“I thought you were happy that I’ve started to look after myself.” Cas seemed to actually be surprised.

Dean chuckled, and shook his head. “I’m giving you shit, Cas.”

“I see,” Cas replied with squinty eyes that made Dean believe he didn’t really get it. 

Maybe he needed to stop joking with Cas. Hell, Dean wasn’t even really sure why he was trying to explain himself. He never did in the past. Thankfully Doris came by and got their orders, enough of a distraction from the weirdness that Dean was feeling. Maybe he was having a midlife crisis or something. He couldn’t stop himself from chuckling to himself. Dean never imagined reaching such a point in his life.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked softly over the rim of his coffee mug.

Dean looked up at Cas. “Huh?”

“You just laughed,” Cas explained with a soft smile. “What were you thinking about?”

Dean shrugged as he took another sip of his coffee. “Just… Never thought I’d reach this point in my life. You know… as a hunter. Bobby and Rufus were the rare ones. Reaching their late fifties, early sixties.”

Cas gave him another soft smile and nodded. "It's funny how things can change so drastically. If you told me a year ago we would end up in a place like this, living a normal, human life, I would probably have thought you were delusional or under some kind of spell." The smile on his face disappeared when Cas seemed to get lost in his own thoughts after that.

“S’up, buttercup?” Dean asked as he tapped his menu against Cas’s hand.

Cas looked up at him before he looked away again, and shook his head. "Nothing... I just remembered how different my view towards my own life expectation had been in comparison to now."

Dean furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

Cas sighed, his fingers fiddling with the napkin. "I–I didn't care if I lived or died."

Dean leaned over, stilling Cas’s hand. If there was anything that Dean understood, it was that line of thought. “Crazy, right? Caring again.”

Cas turned his hand and intertwined their fingers, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He looked up with a sad smile. “Yes, it’s… a new experience. It’s also a little frightening. Because now I have something to lose.”

Dean gave him a comforting, reciprocal squeeze, and gave Cas a pointed look. “Hey, we’ve faced scarier things.”

Cas nodded, his thumb now gently running over the back of Dean's hand. "That's true, I suppose."

Dean returned the smile and nodded, gaze now fixed on their hands. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t pulling away. “How, uh… how human are you, by the way? Can you die?”

Cas frowned and tilted his head. "I wasn't immortal as an angel, Dean. But if you're referring to where I go when I die... I don't know. Metatron seemed to believe I would die like a human when he took my grace. But there is no guarantee that would happen."

Dean shook his head. “No, I mean… Will you have a human lifespan?”

"Oh," Cas replied before he smiled, "yes, I'm getting older. Like a human."

For some reason, that brought Dean comfort. The idea that Cas would grow old with him. Dean smiled and said, “Wonder which of us will go gray first.”

Cas chuckled and squeezed his hand again. "Probably me. Jimmy was a few years older than you when I…” He didn't finish the sentence, instead he looked out of the window for a moment, and took in a deep breath. "We will grow old together."

“Yeah,” Dean murmured, laughing at the idea of it. But Dean had given up on romance a long time ago, so he supposed it couldn’t hurt to live out his life with his best friend at his side. Granted he missed sex, but… Damn. He really was getting old.

Cas gave him a thoughtful look before he raised his eyebrow. "Oh... I think I just realized why people assume we are married." He looked up with an amused smile. "It's because we plan on staying together, growing old together, right?"

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Pretty much.”

Cas’s smile turned shy, and before Dean could think more about it, Doris came to their table with their food. Right in time because Cas's stomach growled again. Doris gave both of them a smile as she looked at their intertwined hands. "Special day today? You're up pretty early," she queried.

“Yeah, my brother and sister-in-law are spending a week with us. We haven’t seen them in over six months.” Dean immediately started cutting up his over easy eggs into his hashbrowns. 

"Do they live far away?" Doris asked curiously, and Cas was the one to take the reins.

"They live in California, so they are a little closer than where we lived before. But they have their life, and jobs, and we have ours here, so it's difficult to find a few days when we all have time. It's going to be nice to have them over for a whole week. We both took the week off from work so we could spend time together." Cas seemed happy, his eyes roaming over his breakfast, which consisted mostly of different fruits cut up in a bowl, mixed with cereal and milk. 

"Well, then have fun and happy Halloween," she said before she left them to their breakfast. 

Cas grabbed a raspberry, and held it out towards Dean. "Do you want to have one?"

Dean smiled and shook his head. He picked up a piece of bacon and waved it. “I’m good.”

Cas gave the bacon a dreamy look, and inhaled with a hum before he started to eat his own breakfast. Which must have been pretty good, considering Cas breathed out a soft moan when he ate his first spoonful of fruit-salad-cereal mix.

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle and shook his head. Cas always turned into Meg Ryan in  _ When Harry Met Sally  _ when he ate, specifically the orgasm scene, and Dean had pretty much gotten acclimated to it now. If Cas was eating, Cas was moaning. 

Cas hummed and scrunched up his nose before he showed Dean his arm, and the impressive trail of goosebumps. "There is a grapefruit in it and it's really sour."

“Your physical reactions to food is fascinating. I’m half tempted to buy you…” Dean stopped himself again. His friggin’ innate flirting was clearly on the fritz or something.

"To buy me what?" Cas asked curiously.

Dean shook his head. “No, just no.”

Cas gave him a very confused look. "What?" He looked down at himself before he looked up at Dean again, still very much confused as hell. "Did I say or do something strange?"

“No,” Dean assured, “it’s ‘cause whenever I joke about what I was about to joke about, you get pissed.”

Cas gave him a thoughtful look before he quietly started eating his breakfast again. After a long moment of awkward silence, Cas carefully asked, "Husband joke?"

Dean shook his head. “Sex joke.”

Cas frowned. "I was never angry with you because of a sex joke." His frown deepened. "At least not that I remember."

“Well, it all kind of falls into the relationship, husband joke category, so… yeah.” Not to mention Dean shouldn’t be using his flirting tactics on Cas.

Cas nodded and turned his concentration to his breakfast. "Well, food is still sometimes overwhelming for me. But I like that I'm still not used to it." He smiled softly. "It's a nice feeling."

Dean nodded and started using the toast as a makeshift shovel for the hash brown-egg combo. “Have a favorite yet?” he asked, despite his mouth being full. 

"It's a tie between cherries and strawberries," Cas replied pretty instantly.

Dean picked up a piece of bacon, and held it out to Cas with a quirked brow. “You  _ sure  _ about that?”

Cas looked away, obviously trying to hide his grin. "Stop tempting me, Dean."

He leaned closer, bringing the strip about a centimeter from Cas’s lips. “You know you want it. And you should always take advantage of when I’m willing to share bacon.”

Cas suddenly grinned and wrapped his lips around the bacon, stealing it from Dean’s hand. His lips touched Dean’s finger for a moment, long enough that he could still feel the touch tingling in his fingertips. His eyes never left Dean’s, as he moaned around the strip.

“Man, he’s sharing his bacon. If that ain’t love, I don’t even know,” Doris commented as she refilled their coffee. 

Dean retracted his hand and sank back against his seat. He ducked Cas’s gaze, and returned his attention back to his plate as he proceeded to ignore the weirdness again.

“Dean,” Cas started softly as soon as Doris was out of earshot, “you don’t need to worry. I know you love me like a brother… like family. Just because other people don't see it, doesn't make it untrue.”

The fact that Cas was trying to reassure him made the weirdness increase. Dean nodded and stuffed a huge mouthful of hash browns into his mouth. He sighed and said, “I know, Cas.”

Cas finished his fruit breakfast with a content sounding sigh before he murmured, “And the fact that we never corrected anyone about the nature of our relationship doesn't really help with how people perceive us.”

Dean fixed him with an unsure smile. “Does it bother you?”

Cas replied with a sincere look and a smile, “Not at all.”

“Well, if that ever changes, I hope you’ll tell me.” Dean dropped a couple of twenties on the table as he nodded for Cas to get up and follow him back out to the car.

Cas dutifully followed and easily slipped back into the car, taking his place next to him, a new routine, one Dean had grown to appreciate. Cas took in a deep breath, and as Dean started Baby, confessed, “It bothers me… when I get the impression that it makes you uncomfortable.”

“When have I given you that impression?”

Cas gave him a surprised look. “Five minutes ago, when Doris made the comment about you sharing your bacon with me.”

Dean shook his head as he got back on the road. “I don’t know how to explain it, but that wasn’t what my reaction was.”

“Oh.” Cas rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I guess I still have difficulty interpreting human behavior and emotions. I was so sure you were uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, it was more… I don’t know… making me evaluate my life,” he admitted.

Cas shot him a quick, insecure look. “Any regrets?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? But considering his own contentment, weird feelings inside aside, Dean was actually damn happy with his life. “Honestly? No. None.”

Cas’s shoulders relaxed in apparent relief. “If that changes… please tell me.”

Dean flashed him a smile. “Deal.”

Cas replied with a quick nod before he looked out of the window. “Do you mind if I sleep until we reach the airport?”

“Sure,” Dean said as he turned down the music, and proceeded to focus his attention fully on the road.

Even though it had been months, it felt like much longer since he’d seen his brother. Maybe it was because most of their lives they had almost always been at each other’s side. There were gaps, and ironically those gaps were usually connected to when one of them temporarily got out of the life. 

That was the key. The temporary factor. This was the first time, for either of the Winchesters, that there wasn’t a time limit on their trying to live normal lives. Hell, Sam was enrolled in school again. 

And Dean had stopped sleeping with his shoes on. They were both taking their retirement seriously. 

Dean was really looking forward to seeing Sammy again. And seeing how happy he and Eileen were. Dean had been rooting for them since the first time he caught them Facetiming. 

Which made it even weirder that Dean had no desire, whatsoever, to find someone. He chalked it up to one of the parts of his past he still wasn’t secure enough to let go of.

Either way, Dean was happy with his life. He didn’t even really miss sex. Well, he did, but it wasn’t crucial, and the thought of bringing a chick home kind of weirded him out. It was his and Cas’s space. 

When they pulled into the parking garage at SeaTac, Dean tapped Cas’s shoulder. “Cas? We’re here.”

Cas was out like a light, snoring softly with his forehead resting against the window. It was weird how innocent and young Cas looked when he slept.

He couldn’t stop himself, he immediately tickled Cas’s exposed side. “Cas, wake up!”

Cas startled with a yelp, and wide, shocked eyes. “Dean!” He tried to catch his breath before he glared at Dean. “If I punch you in your face in the future, it will be your own fault.”

Dean chuckled and nodded. With that kind of reaction, it was entirely and completely… “Worth it.”

Cas frowned at him and shook his head. “Not sure you will still say that when you have to run around with a black eye for a few days.” He got out of the car and yawned, stretching his arms wide above his head and making his – or more correctly  _ Dean’s  _ former - shirt ride up, revealing his hip bones.

Dean cleared his throat and turned away from Cas. He really needed to get his mind out of gay thought town. Maybe he should make an exception and pick up a one night stand? “They should be landing in the next ten minutes.”

“Do you know where we need to go?” 

Dean nodded and pointed to the elevator. “Yeah, the arrivals gate for Alaska Air. Figured we could meet them by baggage claim.”

Cas followed Dean to the elevator, and Dean caught that Cas’s hand twitched in his direction for a moment, touching his before he retracted it again. Almost like he had wanted to hold his hand. 

Dean chuckled to himself and smiled, feeling weirdly touched by the gesture. He wasn’t going to act on Cas’s weird instinct. It was probably because of how often they played couple in public places. He got where the desire came from. 

When they reached their floor, Dean braced his hand against the door and nodded for Cas to go out first. He even did a little bow.

“Are you holding the door open for me?” Cas asked as he walked past him with a soft smile. “Like you do when you’re on a date?”

Dean arched his brow in challenge. “Not the first time I’ve held a door open for you.”

“I know,” Cas replied with a smirk, bumping Dean’s shoulder playfully. He looked very excited now, no traces of his tiredness from earlier.

“I’m surprised you didn’t make a sign,” Dean teased as he gently pinched Cas’s side.

Cas scrunched up his nose before he tickled Dean’s side. “I thought about it, but then I remembered that Sam probably can see us wherever we stand.”

Dean chuckled and gripped Cas’s wrist, pulling it behind Cas’s back to stop his tickling. “You’re not wrong.”

Cas just tickled Dean with his other hand and a smirk on his face. “You think that will stop me?”

“You forget,” Dean challenged before he flipped Cas around, forcing him into a dip. Dean was chuckling softly as he held the angel in place. “I’m bigger than you.”

“That is very scary.” Cas chuckled before he pushed himself up again, close to Dean’s face. “We should go, Dean,” he murmured, his hand slipping down to Dean’s to take it.

Dean pulled him up with him, their hands still entwined together, now looking like they had been outright ballroom dancing in the hall of the skybridge. He gave Cas a small smile as he stepped back and let go of Cas. “You’re right.”

There was a brief moment where Cas almost looked disappointed, but Dean didn't get a chance to ask what was up before Cas simply smiled, and started walking in the direction of baggage claim. It took almost ten minutes to find the right carousel.

Dean and Cas communicated silently to split up and search; he took the north end, and Cas took the south end. That’s when a familiar flash of long hair flashed by his peripheral and Dean turned, locking eyes with his baby brother.

“Sammy,” Dean breathed out as he charged forward, and yanked the man in for a hug.

Sam pulled him impossibly closer. “Dean.” He smiled brightly as he drew back and patted Dean’s back. “It’s so good to see you.”

Eileen hugged him as soon as Sam had stepped away, with an equally happy smile. “Hi, Dean,” she greeted before she looked around. “Where is Cas?”

Dean nodded to behind them as Cas caught up. He stepped back, and watched with a contented smile, as Sam pulled Cas in for a fierce bear hug, practically looming over his much smaller frame. Eileen slipped in right after, giving Cas back a little bit of height. When his brother flashed him a curious smile, Dean just shrugged. “It’s just damn good to see all my family in the same room again.”

Sam gave him a knowing smile before he grabbed their luggage off of the carousel, and they started walking back towards the parking garage. Without hesitating, Cas took Eileen’s luggage. 

“I can’t wait to see your house, man.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re gonna like it.”

"So how’s normal life treating you?" Sam asked curiously. "Any itches to hunt again?"

“Actually, no,” Dean admitted with a shrug. “I even stopped sleeping with my shoes on.”

Sam gave him a wide eyed look. "Woah, that is serious." He patted his shoulder. "I'm glad to hear that. I was wondering if you would turn up on my doorstep at one point again, because the world was in danger. I'm glad you're out. I mean it."

“Yeah,” he affirmed. The only thing that would drag him back in was if something took Cas or Sam. Other than that? He was ready to be done with it all. It had taken him a few months to accept it, but it did eventually become reality. “What about you two?”

Sam gave him a bright smile. "We actually have some news, but I’ll tell you when we're at your place."

Dean clapped his hand on his brother’s shoulder, unable to hide the smile. He may not be as smart as his brother, but he could read body language, intonation, and the proud as hell smile on his baby brother’s face. Sam didn’t need to say a damn thing. “Son of a bitch!”

Sam grinned brightly at him. He seemed incredibly happy. It was really nice to see. There would always be the spark of protectiveness in Dean, hammered into his subconscious from Dad, telling him over and over,  _ you keep your brother safe.  _

It looked like Sam was safe now. Safe and happy.

Cas had needed the short nap, and he felt incredibly well-rested after waking up in Dean's arms. It was strange that he always gravitated towards him in his sleep. He didn't fall asleep like that. He had been on his side of the bed. Dean didn't seem to care though; at least if he did, he didn’t mention it.

He had started to make the zucchini bread, while Dean was preparing the tomatoes for the soup, and cutting the other vegetables for the bread.

Sam and Eileen were pretty tired, so they welcomed the nap. They were still sleeping, and Dean had promised to show them the house when the sun was up. But Eileen had already told him that she loved the Halloween decorations. Sam was surprised when he saw them, and he could hear him talking to Dean, stating how great it was that they now were the kind of people who properly celebrated a holiday.

Cas gave Dean a quick smile, who seemed to be in a very happy mood, humming with the music from the radio. “Have you never celebrated any holidays before?”

Dean shrugged. “I mean, there were some holidays we weren’t working, so we got the chance to, but… not in the traditional sense. It wasn’t a thing for us.”

"But it is now?" Cas asked with a smile because he wanted to celebrate every human holiday. Since he had decorated the house for Halloween, he had enjoyed it so much he now was looking forward to doing it for every holiday to come. 

“I’d like it to be,” he said as he started chopping the onion.

Cas scrunched up his nose when his eyes started to tear up. He wasn't even cutting the onion, but it was affecting him.  _ Damn.  _ He sniffled and rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes. "Good," he breathed out, "because I want to give you something for Christmas."

Dean chuckled. “You don’t need to get me anything.”

"But I want to," Cas pressed out, trying to stop the tears. Stupid onions. Maybe he should buy a different brand next time. And why was Dean not affected? He was the one cutting them. It just wasn’t fair.

Suddenly Dean was in his space, holding up a napkin. “Don’t cry, shop girl,” he said with a smirk.

Cas rolled his eyes, wondering why Dean always called him those weird names. "I'm not crying. It's the onions. I thought if you cut them, I wouldn't be affected."

“Try wearing sunglasses next time,” Dean suggested as he started swaying his hips in rhythm with the song on his way back to the cutting board.

Cas used the napkin to rub over his eyes, and inhaled deeply. "Why doesn't this happen to you?"

“I have no sympathy for onions,” he deadpanned.

"You think the onions make me cry because I'm sad they get cut?" Cas asked slowly. Because he was eighty-nine percent sure it was because the onions were producing a chemical irritant.

Dean laughed. “Yes, Spock. That’s what I’m implying.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. "I'm not Spock. And I definitely don't have any sympathy for onions. I'm buying a different brand next time, maybe that will help."

Dean smirked and shook his head before he turned back to the onion. “Sure, that’ll help.”

“The internet seems to believe so.” Cas sighed deeply and turned to Dean. “In addition to that, they have a lot of other suggestions: like wearing diving goggles, and other ridiculous suggestions. I’m just glad I’m not alone with this problem.”

“Look at you! Using the internet,” he said with a laugh. 

"I use the internet for a lot of research," Cas replied before he felt himself blushing when he remembered his last research, that had led him to a porn site.

Dean turned back to face him, half the onion on the sharp tip of the knife he was holding. “Not bad for someone who didn’t trust computers.”

Cas stepped away from the knife and the onion. "Yeah, well… I still don't trust them, but they're useful for learning something new. I also learned that I need to be more precise when I google recipes like cock in wine sauce."

Dean barked out a laugh as he almost doubled over. “Oh, my god. I wish I’d been there when that happened.”

"It led me to very inappropriate websites that had nothing to do with cooking.” Cas rubbed his chin before he added, “They also had a lot of videos that advertized cream pies, but there was no pie in them. I suspect it was false advertizing.”

Dean placed the onion on the cutting board, and slapped his hand against the counter, still hunched over with his amusement. “Stop, man. You’re killing me.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion. "I'm not joking. I can show you if you don't believe me. There was a whole category called cream pie, and there was not  _ one  _ recipe."

Dean was clutching his stomach as he tried to regain a normal breathing pattern, from the slow and steady breaths he was forcing. “Seriously, Cas. Fuck, my cheeks hurt.”

"I'm not sure why this is funny to you," Cas huffed out. "I wasted an hour of my life trying to find a recipe on this website. I still don't know how to make cream pie. Which also means you won't get any."

Dean shook his head and washed his hands, still chuckling. “Goddamn.”

Cas gave him a long look. "Can you explain it to me?" Because now he felt insecure that there was something huge that he wasn't getting.

That appeared to sober Dean up for a moment, his brow quirked in bemusement. “I mean, didn’t you  _ see  _ what a cream pie is from your research?”

"It's a pie made with whipped cream. But the videos only featured... porn."

Dean shook his head, an amused smile still on his face. “An edible cream pie usually has some other word before it, like banana cream pie, or chocolate cream pie. A, uh… a cream pie is when you come inside someone.”

The explanation didn't make it any less confusing. He hummed thoughtfully before he asked, “Why don't they call it sexual intercourse? At least that way, people looking for recipes won't end up on the wrong websites.”

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Oh, man. I don’t know, but I’m glad they don’t.”

Cas scrunched up his nose when he thought of the videos. “After watching a few clips of those videos, I actually don't even want to  _ try  _ making a cream pie anymore. It would probably just remind me of what I saw, and it would make me lose my appetite.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “You must have seen some traumatic porn,” he said with a wink.

Cas shuddered and nodded. “I have no idea why people would want to watch that stuff. It was pretty disturbing,” he explained as he prepared the bread for the preheated oven.

“Some people like the thought of coming inside someone.” Dean finished the onion and moved onto chopping up tomatoes.

Cas put the finished bread in the oven before he gave Dean a thoughtful look. “That wasn’t the disturbing part. It was everything else that led to that point.”

Dean furrowed his brow as he turned to look at him. “Well, now you’ve gotta tell me what you saw.”

Cas felt torn about it. Even though he didn’t really want to be reminded of the stuff he had watched, he was also curious to hear Dean's opinion about it. “There was a man… and three more men had sex with him. But in a less than friendly way. It actually looked like they were hurting him.” Cas gave Dean a worried look. “It's just a movie, right? The people in it don't get hurt for real?”

Dean’s eyebrows had shot up. “You were watching gay porn?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “No, I was looking for a recipe, and that was the first video.”

Dean shook his head in amazement. “It’s kinda hilarious you thought a gangbang video was gonna teach you how to bake a pie.”

Cas crossed his arms in front of his chest. “The thumbnail was misleading. It said cream pie fun, and there was an icon featuring pies and cherries… saying a cherry would get popped.”

Dean burst into laughter again. “Fuck, Cas. That’s really fucking funny.”

“Next to it was a video that advertized big melons. I was so sure I was on a food related website,” he murmured. 

Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Please, you’re killing me,” he breathed out between bouts of laughter.

Cas couldn’t stop grinning now too. Dean’s laughter was infectious. He had no idea why he was making Dean laugh, but he was happy Dean was having fun. “Anyway, at least I learned that I won't find recipes on a website where they ask if I want to meet ‘horny men’ in my area,” he added before he put a pot on the stove, melting butter in it before tossing in the onions and garlic Dean had cut.

“Man, that’s too friggin’ good,” Dean murmured as he returned to the cutting board.

Cas shrugged as he prepared the pan for the chicken. “I’m glad my inexperience brings you so much joy. I think I’ve learned a lot in these past few months, but then things like this happen, and I feel absolutely clueless again.” He sighed deeply before he looked at Dean. “I still don't get why people enjoy watching other people getting hurt by something that should be pleasurable.”

Dean shook his head. “No idea, man. Rough sex I get, but the really intense,  _ Fifty Shades  _ crap… yeah, to each their own, I guess.”

Cas only understood about half of what Dean said, so he chose to ask, “Fifty shades?”

Dean gave him an unsure shrug. “Whips, chains, spanking, punishment. That kind of stuff.”

“Oh.” Cas remembered the first pornographic movie he had ever watched. “So, the pizza man slapping the babysitter was… ‘fifty shades’ crap?”

Dean made a weird hum noise as he shook his head. “Not really, that was more silly than anything else.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh as he prepared the chicken for the wraps. “I got chained up and tortured so many times, I really don't see how some people would gain sexual arousal from it.” He gave Dean a quick look. “Maybe because those people never experienced being in a position like that for real.”

“Maybe,” Dean agreed with a half shrug. “Do you… do you ever miss it? Sex, I mean.”

It wasn't like Cas didn’t know arousal. Especially after that one time he had dreamed of him and Dean kissing and touching each other. The thought made him blush, and he tried to busy himself with cooking. “No,” he answered simply before he looked up at Dean. “What about you? You haven't been going out for quite a while now.” And Cas couldn’t help but feel happy about that. He was afraid of the day Dean would meet a woman, and maybe fall in love with her.

Dean let out a mirthless laugh. “I miss sex, but… I don’t miss dating or whatever.”

Cas gave him a quick smile. “I think I don’t miss it because my experience with it is… kind of tainted. It's not a good memory, and it wasn't good enough to go through all of that trouble again.”

“Yeah, can’t say I blame you. But when you aren’t being murdered right after, it’s pretty good.” Dean gave him a small smile.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Cas said after a moment. “I wouldn't want to try this again with someone I don't know… and since I have no interest in getting to know someone, it isn't relevant.”

“That’s where we differ. I wouldn’t mind doin’ it with someone I don’t know,” he said with a sort of sigh.

“What is keeping you?” Cas asked slowly. He immediately imagined Dean not coming home from work, but driving to a bar so he could have sex with someone. The thought made him feel strange, like something heavy was crushing his heart.

Dean shrugged. “Not sure.”

Cas hoped whatever reason kept Dean from pursuing it would persist. He gave him a smile. “I hope this situation doesn't give cause for a lot of frustration. I know that the craving can be very annoying.”

“S’what porn and lotion’s for,” he said casually.

Cas gave him a confused look. Since he had only seen pretty disgusting pornographic videos, he wasn’t sure that he could relate to it being helpful. “I find a cold shower to be very effective.”

Dean chuckled as he brought the chopped up tomatoes to Cas. “Coming’s more fun though.”

Cas had tried masturbation before, but he never enjoyed it. So he couldn’t relate to Dean’s comment as he poured the tomatoes into the pot with the now golden glazed onions. “It always felt like the only way to get rid of the morning… forest.”

That was met with a laugh. “Wood,” Dean clarified as he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. He waved it at Cas in silent question if Cas wanted a beer too. “So, what did you do when you got a boner when you had your grace?”

Cas nodded, and thanked Dean as he handed it to him. “It was a lot easier to suppress. Now it's just a matter of willpower.”

“That an angel thing? Wanting to turn it off instead of let it happen?” Dean asked before he took a swig of his beer as he leaned against the counter.

“I don’t know.” Cas immediately thought about Balthazar and Gabriel before he shook his head. “It’s probably not an angel thing… just me.”

Dean nodded. “You know it’s funny, none of the angels turned out like I thought angels would be.”

Cas chuckled at that. “That doesn't surprise me. Humans have painted a very wrong image of my species for a very long time now.”

“Yeah, well, we had a very different image of god too, turns out he’s just another deadbeat dad.” Dean scoffed and took another swig of his beer.

“Yeah,” Cas breathed out before he took a sip of his own beer. Usually he didn’t drink alcohol this early, but since he was on vacation, he decided to make an exception. “Just that when he left us children alone, we tried to destroy the house.”

Dean clinked his beer against Cas’s. “Well, that definitely makes you human then.”

“I'm over four-billion years old, Dean. And I have the ability to learn very fast, but still… after so many years, I lacked something very significant. Comprehension of human emotions. It suddenly gives context to things that were just abstract thought before. Now I can feel, I can experience, I can touch and smell. I can sense things with my whole body. It's overwhelming.” He looked up at Dean. “Angels were created first, but we're imperfect… Humans are my father's most accomplished creation.”

Dean appeared taken aback by that. After a beat, he said, “If this is god’s most accomplished…” He pointed at his own body, “then maybe we should reevaluate what accomplished means.”

Cas gave him a soft smile. “Not from my perspective, Dean. Especially when I look at you.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. He stared at Cas for a moment. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

Cas frowned at him. “Of course I’m not being sarcastic. I mean it.”

“Uh, thanks, Cas,” Dean murmured as he ducked Cas’s gaze.

Cas stepped closer to Dean, and touched his shoulder to get his attention. “You’re the most important person in the world for me. Do you really think that would be the case if I didn’t think very highly of you?”

Dean shrugged and quirked his brow. “Still… thanks.”

Cas gave him a smile, and nudged his shoulder. “Can you peel the three avocados in the fridge? And then you are done being my kitchen helper.”

Dean nodded and grabbed the fruit with a quirked brow. “Just peel them?”

Cas nodded. “As close to the surface as possible. It’s easier if you cut them into quarters. Then you can just pull the outer skin off.”

“Okay,” Dean said as he turned back to the cutting board, hips swaying with the upbeat song on the Pandora station they were listening to.

Cas smiled at him while he stirred the soup. “Are you dancing?”

Dean spun around and faced him with a smirk. “What gave me away?”

“You’re moving with the music.” Cas returned the smirk. “I don’t think I’ve seen you dance before.”

“Well, you know what that means,” he said mysteriously.

“I do?” Because Cas was pretty sure sure he didn’t know what that meant.

Dean waved his hand at Cas. “Now you gotta dance so we’re even.”

“But I can’t dance,” Cas replied with a frown.

Dean grabbed Cas by the wrist and pulled him closer. “Everyone can dance.”

Cas gave Dean an insecure glance as he stumbled closer, looking at his feet. “What if I step on your toes?”

“Then I’ll pinch you,” he said with a smirk as he braced his hands on Cas’s hips and forced him to move in time with Dean’s swaying. “Just feel the beat.”

It wasn’t easy to relax because Cas’s mind was swamped with a blur of conflicting and confusing thoughts. Being so close to Dean, completely transfixed by his happy and relaxed expression, and the feel of his hands on his body. He tried to listen to the music, the man and the woman singing about a mountain that wasn’t high enough, but all he could think was, _ ‘Do not step on Dean’s feet’.  _ “I don’t know how to do that,” Cas murmured.

“Yeah, you do,” he assured as he took Cas’s hands and put them around his neck.  _ “Remember the day, I set you free…” _ he sang along with the song, moving Cas with the rhythm of the music.

Cas loved Dean’s voice, he couldn’t help but smile as he started to relax in Dean’s embrace, and just let himself be guided to the music. 

_ “From that day on, I made a vow, I’ll be there when you want me, someway somehow,”  _ Dean sang when he nodded for Cas to move with him. “Come on, Cas!” Dean was smiling at him, an expectant and hopeful expression on his face.

_ “'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough," _ Cas sang quietly, and with an insecure smile as he swayed with Dean, trying to be a little braver. He rubbed his thumb over Dean's neck as he swayed closer, getting lost in Dean's eyes.

Dean dipped Cas, much like how he had done in the airport earlier,  _ “Ain’t no valley low enough.”  _ he sang in a deeper baritone.

_ "Ain't no river wide enough. To keep me from getting to you, babe," _ Cas sang as he chuckled. This was really a lot of fun.

Suddenly Sam cleared his throat from the kitchen doorway. When Cas looked at him, he was smirking with a raised eyebrow. "Looks like you two are having fun."

“Join us, Sammy,” Dean called out as he righted Cas, and spun in a circle to his brother, pulling him in to the dance circle.

Sam instantly pulled some silly dance moves that made Cas laugh, but at the same time feeling slightly sad that Dean had let go of him. He always liked when they were close. 

“Guys, the food smells really good.” Sam laughed, looking at the stove, which reminded Cas that he should concentrate on cooking again, so nothing got burned. 

“Food will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Would you prepare the table, Dean?” he asked before he turned to the stove again to stir the soup.

“Yup!” Dean called out, grabbing plates and dancing his way out of the kitchen.

Sam chuckled and shook his head. “Can I help?”

"No, get out of the kitchen," Cas replied with a laugh. Dean's good mood was really infectious. 

After getting the table ready, and being banished from the kitchen, Cas finally brought an amazing smelling lunch out to the table. The three former hunters all making different sounds of appreciation. “Fuck, Cas. I can’t wait to try this.”

"I hope you will like it. It's the first time I made bread by myself." He had cut it into different slices, and it smelled fresh and delicious, coming straight from the oven. Everything looked really good, the tomato soup and the chicken wraps. Dean could see Sam's eyes widen with joy as they all got a helping.

Sam smirked at Dean. "It's nice to see you eating something healthy for a change, Dean." 

“He promised me pie,” Dean offered around a mouthful of the amazing bread. 

Sam laughed and shook his head. "Figures," he said as he grabbed Eileen's hand over the table, and gave her a questioning look before she nodded at him. "So, as I told you before, we have some news. We are going to be parents in seven months."

Dean had already pretty much figured it out, but it didn’t stop him from jumping up to give them both a hug. “I’m so fucking happy for you.”

Cas looked as happy as he was feeling, hugging them both as soon as Dean let go. "That is amazing. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Eileen replied before she added with a chuckle, "that makes you both uncles, and gives you the right to come over and babysit at any time."

Dean chuckled as he sat down again. “We’d be more than happy to do that.”

"I also have a little experience now," Cas added with a smile. "I watch the two children of Dean's boss every Thursday. They are five and eight." 

“Yeah, he’s great with ‘em.” Dean grabbed a spoon and took his first bite of the soup. Dean groaned. “Fuck, this is so much better than the canned shit I fed you.”

"You cooked for Cas?" Sam asked with a surprised expression on his face.

Dean shook his head. “Cooking’s a stretch. I heated up canned soup for Cas. Poor bastard got the flu.”

"And Dean was kind enough to take care of me during that time," Cas replied softly. "I usually cook because Dean works longer than I do, and because I really enjoy doing it."

“And you are really good at it,” Eileen complimented, which made Cas blush.

“It’s true. It’s like having my own private chef,” Dean joked as he grabbed one of the wraps. 

As expected, Cas looked even more embarrassed. 

Eileen and Sam exchanged a knowing look with each other before Eileen leaned over to Cas and said, "I think I might steal you when Dean isn't looking. I can't cook at all."

Dean held his spoon at her threateningly. “Back off. You got Sammy; this one’s mine.”

Eileen gave Sam a gleeful look, which made him chuckle. When he looked up at Cas, he was giving Dean a wide-eyed look, his cheeks tinted a rosy hue. “As if I would ever leave you, Dean,” he murmured softly before he quickly looked down at his plate. 

Dean chuckled and smiled to himself as he took a bite of the avocado-chicken wrap thing. Dean had never been a big fan of frou frou foods like this, but it was damn tasty. “Damn, Cas. Another win.”

Cas looked up at him and smiled brightly. "That's a relief. I'm always afraid one day I’ll make something that you hate."

Sam laughed and leaned over to Cas. "Dean eats everything. He isn't choosy."

“Not true,” Dean murmured around a mouthful.

"Dude, I once saw you eating pizza that was probably a week old."

Dean shrugged. “Good food tastes good, even if it’s old.”

Sam scrunched up his nose in disgust before he looked at Cas. "See? Dean's a pig."

"I like that he enjoys eating everything I make," Cas replied with a smile. 

“Sammy’s just jealous that I eat all the foods he  _ wishes  _ he could eat,” Dean countered before he dunked the wrap in the tomato soup.

“He’s right,” Sam replied with a grin before he whispered to Cas, “that’s why we’ll kidnap you as soon as Dean isn’t looking.”

“You heard Dean. I belong to him,” Cas replied with a smile. “But we definitely want to visit you as soon as possible. I thought maybe we could spend Christmas together?”

Dean nodded. “Hell yeah, California Christmastime, right, Cas?”

Cas smiled up at him before he laughed. "I always wanted to try an eggnog froyo."

Sam exchanged a questioning look between them before Eileen remarked, "Sometimes it's really hard to tell if you two are a couple or not."

Dean choked on his soup, ending up having a small coughing fit before he shook his head. “Not you, too,” he groaned.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "I guess this isn’t the first time you two heard that?"

Cas sighed and nodded. "All our work colleagues think that Dean and I are in a romantic relationship. They didn’t seem to believe that we’re not.”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded after taking a sip of his beer. “I blame Bailey. Kid listens… well, about as good as you do, Sammy.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "And I realized way too late that my boss and his family thinks Dean is my partner. By then, it would have been weird to correct them."

Sam chuckled and clapped Cas's shoulder. "I'm sorry they all think Dean is your boyfriend."

"I don't mind," Cas murmured before he bit his lower lip and looked down at his food.

Dean poked his tongue out at Sam. “See? Someone loves me.”

Cas suddenly coughed and stood up from his chair, murmuring, "Excuse me… forgot to grab my beer in the kitchen." 

He practically fled the room before Sam gave Dean a questioning look, mouthing, "What?"

Dean shrugged. Maybe he upset Cas again with all his husband talk. But it was mostly as explanation. “I’m gonna check on him.”

Grabbing his own beer, Dean made his way to the kitchen, finding Cas bracing his hands against the kitchen counter, his back towards Dean. “Cas?”

Cas turned to shyly look up at Dean, his expression insecure. "Yeah?"

“You okay?” he asked as he stepped closer.

Cas looked down before he turned to grab his beer from the counter. "Yes, of course."

“So, you aren’t pissed about the boyfriend talk?”

Cas gave him a surprised look. "No, why would I be angry about that?"

Dean shrugged. “Not sure. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Cas gave him a soft smile and suddenly hugged him. "Thank you," he murmured against Dean's cheek before he pulled back, giving him a quick smile. "It's nice having them here. And... there will be a new Winchester in this world soon."

Dean chuckled. “A new niece or nephew for me to corrupt.” Dean started rubbing his hands together like Dr. Evil, managing to refrain from mimicking the guy’s laugh.

"We will spoil him or her a lot, whenever possible," Cas replied with a smirk. "They will be so annoyed with us when their child will want to stay with us all the time." 

The idea was pretty damn wonderful. Dean couldn’t wait to see his brother as a father. See him getting to have that real chance at happiness. Dean smiled and sighed contentedly. He nodded for Cas to follow him. “Come on, let’s get back.”

Cas nodded and the rest of the day went by in a blur of lazy catching up and conversation. Sam excitedly told Cas about his first year in law school, while Eileen and Dean talked old cases. It was nice to share that fond nostalgia with someone. He’d never really broached the topic with Cas, mostly because a lot of the cases they worked on together had been pretty fucked up. Almost losing the other. Not something either of them liked to talk about.

But hunting wasn’t always awful. Dean had some great memories, cases where they saved the day. Days that made Dean feel like his life had not been wasted. A life which ultimately led him to his life as it was. Living a normal life with his best friend at his side. His brother a couple hours flight away, and about to start a family.

Before he knew it, the day had disappeared into the night and it was time to go to sleep. After wishing Sammy and Eileen good night, Dean and Cas made their way to Cas’s room. He sat on the bed and started untying his boots. “Good day, huh?”

"Very. And I'm glad my food seemed to have been a big hit. We don't even have leftovers. And I caught Sam licking the plate." He chuckled as he removed his shirt and pulled on his bee pajama top.

Dean chuckled. “I’m half tempted to get you to make extra, so I have left overs.”

Cas turned around with a smile, unbuttoning his jeans. "You know I’ll make you anything you want. You just have to ask."

“I know, and I’m only half serious,” he said as he kicked his boots off and stood up to take off his jeans.

"I’ll make more tomorrow. And I may or may not have saved you two slices of that pie." He said as he pulled off his jeans, and put them over his chair next to his shirt, because Dean was sure it was Cas's shirt now. He doubted Cas planned on giving it back to him. Not that he minded. 

Dean smiled and dropped his jeans, kicking them off one leg at a time. “You’re the friggin’ best, Cas.”

"It's my thank you for you helping me in the kitchen so I get a little more sleep and... for letting me sleep next to you." Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "It helps a lot."

Dean shrugged as he slipped under the covers, in just his boxers and t-shirt. “What’re best friends for?”

Cas gave him a quick smile before he vanished under the blanket on the other side of the bed, lying so close to the edge of his bed, that he would probably fall off the edge if he turned around in the night.

"Good night, Dean," he murmured softly.

Dean chuckled. “I’m not gonna bite,” he said as he pulled Cas a little closer.

"I didn't think you would," Cas replied with a frown. "I just don't want to push you off of the bed again."

“I told you, it wasn’t all your fault. It was mine too,” Dean said in a soft huff. 

Cas blinked at him for a moment before he started sliding closer under the blanket. So close that his hand touched Dean's under the cover. "Is this okay?" he whispered.

Dean nodded. He’d gotten really good at tuning out the panicked voice in the back of his head. “Yeah,” he murmured as he slipped his arm under the pillow and got comfortable.

Cas’s fingers softly caressed the back of Dean's hand as he blinked up at him. "I hope Sam and Eileen will take a lot of pictures when their baby is born. I don't want to miss anything."

“Thanks to technology, I’m pretty sure we’re going to get zillions of pics of the little rugrat.” Dean smiled and enjoyed the soothing touch with a low hum.

"If not, we should demand them," Cas replied with a shy smile, wrapping his fingers around Dean's hand to hold it.

Dean furrowed his brow. “Cas?”

"Yeah?" Cas murmured, sounding a little tired.

“There a reason you’re holding my hand?”

Cas tensed next to him and retracted his hand. "I'm sorry… I thought… never mind."

“Thought what?” Dean asked, not really certain he wanted to know the answer.

"I thought you wouldn't mind," Cas replied, his voice barely above a whisper. 

The thing was, he didn’t  _ really  _ mind, and that was messing with his head. Dean cleared his throat and settled deeper into the bed. “It’s just… it’s weird.”

"I see." Cas turned to lay on his stomach. "I didn't know, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

“Hey,” he said as he gently tapped Cas’s shoulder. “I’m not mad or anything.”

Cas braced himself on his elbows, giving him a quick, sad look, and nodded before he rubbed his hand over his face. He reached for a book from his nightstand. It was  _ Slaughterhouse Five _ . "Do you mind if I read for a while?"

Dean shook his head. “Nah. Go for it.” He turned on his other side, away from Cas.

For a long while he listened to the sound of Cas turning pages in the book as he tried to fall asleep. But for some reason, it wasn't easy. When the page rustling stopped, he turned to look at Cas, who had fallen face forward onto the book. It wasn't the first time he had caught Cas asleep on a book.

Dean chuckled and gently pulled the book out from under him, carefully pulling the comforter up as he placed the book on the nightstand. He reached over to turn off the light and settled back in bed against his pillow. “Night, angel,” he whispered.

Cas hummed and slid closer, pressing his head against Dean's arm before he let out a soft sigh, murmuring something that sounded like Dean's name.

Dean carded his hand through Cas’s hair and smiled. He must have fallen asleep like that because the next thing that happened was Dean waking up with the guy practically on top of him, the angel using Dean as a human body pillow.

Letting out a soft groan, Dean tried to move Cas back to his side of the bed.

Cas let out a protestesting groan and wrapped his arms tightly around Dean to secure his place.

“Cas?” Dean asked in a soft chuckle. 

"Dean," Cas breathed out, but he didn't seem to be awake, instead he rolled off of Dean and onto his back with a sigh. His shirt was almost completely ridden up, revealing his upper body, lips parted as he stretched his arms over his head with another soft sigh. 

Dean leaned up and gently shook Cas by the shoulder. “Cas?”

Cas groaned before he stretched his arms again, and made a pretty adorable noise. He blinked up at Dean owlishly. "Huh?"

Dean chuckled. “You kept trying to use me as your mattress.”

Cas looked around him with a frown. "What?" he slurred. 

“You tried to sleep on  _ me  _ instead of the bed,” he said softly, ruffling Cas’s hair, “then you kept murmuring my name.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him before he suddenly looked very embarrassed and awake. "Oh… I'm sorry. I don't know why this keeps happening. I thought sleeping on my stomach would prevent me from getting in your space."

Dean smiled. “It’s okay, I’ll just shove you off when it happens.”

"You won't push me off the bed, will you?" Cas asked with a hurt, puppy eyed look.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Never.”

Cas stretched himself again like a cat before he curled to his side, his torso still more naked than clothed. "I'm sorry I woke you up," he murmured as he yawned at the same time.

“S’okay. I woke you up in return.” Dean turned onto his side, facing Cas. “What were you dreaming about?”

Cas looked down for a moment. "Um, you… more like a memory."

“Nightmares again?”

Cas gave him a quick smile. "No, actually. I dreamed of the lake… your lake from your dream."

Dean quirked his brow. “That’s weird. Do you just dream about things you’ve seen?”

Cas gave him a confused look. "Yes. Why? Is that uncommon?"

“I have no idea. You’d think being an angel you’d dream about better things,” he said with a soft laugh.

"It was a very nice dream, considering I usually have nightmares," Castiel replied thoughtfully before he added, "I don't know what could be better than dreaming about something related to you."

“Was I in it?” Dean asked, wondering why Cas kept saying his name.

"Yes." Cas smiled softly. "You were fishing."

Dean chuckled. “Sounds about right. We should do that for real some time.”

"I would like that very much. You said you needed to buy new fishing equipment first." Cas yawned again and ran his fingers through his hair, somehow messing it up even more than usual.

“I do,” he said, feeling weirdly cold with the distance between them. “C’mere,” he said with a small wave.

Cas's breathing hitched audibly, and he gave him a surprised look before he carefully slid closer to him. He reached out to put his arm around Dean, but then he retracted his hand again. "Um, like this?"

“Turn around,” he murmured as he gently pushed at Cas’s hip.

Cas gave him a hesitant smile before he did what Dean had asked, turning around on the bed before sliding a little backwards, and closer to Dean. “Dean,” he breathed out, “what?”

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and pulled him flush against him. “Maybe if I’m the big spoon, we’ll prevent any more incidents,” he whispered in Cas’s ear.

Cas's body shivered slightly, and Dean could see the goosebumps on his arm. "Yeah, that's… a good idea." Dean could feel Cas's hand on his arm, softly holding on to him.

Dean hummed contentedly. “You’re warm.”

Cas sighed audibly, and Dean could feel his body relaxing against him before he shivered again as he shifted on the bed. Dean could feel him trying to pull down his shirt where it had ridden up, but it wasn’t working because his arms were preventing it. Cas’s shifting also caused his back to be pressed against Dean’s front. “I can’t… ugh,” Cas let out a frustrated noise. “Stupid shirt.”

And he had no idea what possessed him to suggest, “You can just take it off.”

Cas froze for a moment before he leaned forward, and pulled the rest of the soft fabric over his head and off. "Yeah, that's better. But now you need to keep me warm," he murmured.

Dean chuckled against the nape of his neck. “I run hot.”

Cas shivered again. "That's practical," he breathed out as he carefully pushed back and closer to Dean. Dean could feel his firm ass pressed against his groin.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, keeping his weird thoughts in check by focusing on Cas’s breathing pattern.

Cas’s breathing started to even out, and Dean thought he was probably already asleep when Cas suddenly murmured, "My own heater."

Dean breathed out a soft laugh. “My own chef.”

Cas’s hand around his arm tightened before he whispered, "My own… Dean."

“My own angel,” he murmured as the weight of his eyelids finally won out.

It was Halloween, and to Cas’s delight, a lot of children rang their doorbell. He had a lot of fun opening the door in his ghost costume, earning a few delighted screams, and laughs from the smaller children as he handed them candy. 

He had to protect the bowl from Dean, not leaving it out of his sight, because Dean kept trying to steal candy from it, even though he had explained to him a million times that they were for the children.

Even Dean’s boss Frank and the kids had rung the doorbell. They were happy to meet Sam and Eileen, wishing them a happy Halloween. 

Cas was happy. He had a lot of fun that day, and he hoped that every holiday they would now celebrate together would be as fun as this one.

Much later that night, after busying himself with cleaning the kitchen while Sam, Eileen, and Dean had a lively conversation in the living room, he grabbed his beer to sit outside on the porch for a while. He liked sitting here at the end of the day, staring at the lonely path that led to their house, surrounded by a serene forest. It was peaceful, and he sometimes needed the quietness around him to relax. It reminded him of Heaven… not how he felt now about it, but how he had felt there in the past.

He sipped at his beer as he leaned against the wooden rail, staring up at the stars with a smile, when Sam suddenly joined him outside. “Hey, Cas, mind if I join you?”

“Of course not.” Cas gave him a smile as Sam moved to sit next to him, leaning back against the rail on the other side of the steps. 

“I must confess, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I came to visit the two of you. Seeing you two so domestic… is really weird, but also real nice.” He laughed and clinked his bottle to Cas’s. “Thanks for taking care of Dean.”

“He’s taking care of me too,” Cas replied softly.

“You look very happy here. Both of you,” Sam remarked with a smile, giving Cas a searching look. “I was surprised to see Dean being so playful. The last few years… he kinda lost that.”

“He always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. You two sacrificed so much… I’m glad you both finally have a chance at some happiness.”

Sam’s smile brightened at that. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “Never believed in a million years I would be happily married and becoming a father. It’s surreal sometimes.”

“I hope we will get a lot of photos so we won’t miss anything about the newest addition to the Winchester family.” Cas was incredibly excited about the baby. He knew he would end up conducting extensive research about them as soon as he had time. He couldn’t wait for the baby to be born.

Sam laughed and nodded. “Of course. You will probably get sick of them.”

Cas laughed and shook his head. “That is not going to happen.” He froze when he noticed the way Sam was staring at him. “What?” he asked in confusion.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh like this before,” Sam stated, sounding surprised.

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “Being more or less human comes with a lot of perks. One of them is being able to feel emotions much more intensely.”

“Like… love?” 

“What do you mean?” Cas asked slowly, though he had a pretty good feeling he knew what Sam was insinuating.

Sam gave him a thoughtful smile before he asked, “You don’t have to answer but… are you in love with him?”

It probably didn’t make sense to deny it. It looked like Sam already knew. Cas looked down at his lap before he nodded. “Yes.”

Sam nodded and gave him a soft smile. “Are you planning on telling him?”

Cas's eyes widened before he quickly shook his head. “No, of course not. I know that Dean loves me like family, like a brother. And that’s enough for me. Always has been.” He took in a deep breath before he added, “I just want to make him happy. As long as he wants me at his side.”

“What if…” Sam seemed to hesitate, fiddling with the label of his beer.

"What if what?" Cas asked carefully.

Sam’s expression was pained and unsure. “What if he meets someone?”

Cas sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. "I only want him to be happy, and if that means losing Dean–" He stopped himself to take in a deep breath before he looked at Sam. "Of course it would break my heart, but I'm not naive, Sam. I know chances are my time with Dean is limited, until he finds someone. So I plan to enjoy every second I'm allowed to spend with him."

“Well, if that happens and you, uh… you don’t want to be around it, you’ll always have a room at our place,” Sam said with a sweet smile.

"You mean that?" Cas asked in surprise. "I mean… I would be useful. I can work, and cook, and look after your child."

Sam chuckled and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “The help would be nice, but you staying with us doesn’t have stipulations. And yeah, you’re a Winchester, Cas. Your home is with any of us.”

"Thank you." Cas gave him a bright smile before he pulled Sam in for a hug. "That's nice to know."

This conversation felt like a huge weight had been lifted from Cas's chest. Not only did it feel nice to have told someone about his feelings, but it was also nice to know that he could have a future in case Dean didn’t want him in his life anymore. “That’s very nice to know.”

**** ****

_ “You don’t have to answer but… are you in love with him?” _

Dean’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Cas and Sam’s conversation, but he’d made some s’mores and knew Cas would like the first burned batch. The beat of silence until Cas responded was on par with some of the torture he received from Alastair.

_ “Yes.” _

When Cas whispered his affirmative response, Dean turned away from the doorway and made his way to the bathroom, trying to get ahold of his breathing.

Cas was in love with him?

_ Fuck. _


	4. Chapter 4

**** ****

Dean was impressed with his ability to pretend that he never ear hustled the revealing conversation between his brother and best friend a couple days prior. Hell, they’d even kept up sleeping in the same bed. And after that first night of spooning, it kind of… well, Dean assumed it was expected, so he proceeded to cuddle his best friend, who just so happened to be in love with him. Every night, like it wasn’t a big deal.

Dean was really good at denial.

Thankfully he had lots of distractions. Like the fact Cas was watching FJ and Nancy, and they needed groceries. Dean jumped on the chance for some alone time. To process everything. 

Had it been something Dean did, did he inadvertently behave in a way that made Cas have feelings for him? Was Cas just projecting from how much they pretended to be a couple?

It wasn’t like it was something that could go anywhere. Dean was straight. No matter how weird Cas made him feel sometimes, and the rare attraction he would have to men, he never acted on it. Dean never  _ wanted  _ to act on it. 

Unfortunately, the vegetable aisle held no answers for him, nor did any of the other aisles at the grocery store. So he made his reluctant way back into a situation he had no idea how to deal with.

As he carried all eight bags into the house in one trip, because he’d be damned if he made more than one trip, he called out a, “Honey, I’m home!”

Nancy was running towards him in a full body dragon onesie, her hands stretched in the air. "Prince Dea-a-a-a-a-a-a-an, you must help me! The bad witch cursed the princess to sleep forever! Help me!"

“I am a so-o-o-o-ocerer!” FJ yelled after her, carrying a twig, that was clearly a magic wand. “And I’ll turn you into a frog, dragon!”

Dean was unable to hold back the chuckle. Damn these kids were cute. “Brave dragon, how can I help?” he asked as he put the groceries down in the kitchen.

"You must find the princess and lift the curse. Or she dies!" Nancy yelled out dramatically as she grabbed Dean's hand, and pulled him after her to the garden where Cas was lying in the grass. Because the guy always went big with the kids, he was wearing his ghost costume from Halloween, draped over his body as a makeshift white dress. 

FJ ran after them, wielding his wand. "You will never wake up the princess. She will die!"

"No! She won't!" Nancy growled like a dragon. "The prince is here and he is the hero of the story. Go, Prince, only a true love's kiss can wake her up!"

Dean braced his hands on his hips, much like a hero should, and knelt beside the “princess”. He took Cas’s hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. 

Cas's eyes fluttered open, and he gave Dean a surprised look before Nancy suddenly put her little hands on Cas’s face, covering it. "No, no, no. You can't wake up yet! You need to play by the rules, otherwise it's cheating!" She looked up at Dean with a pleading look. "Oh, no! It didn't work! The princess is still cursed. You need to give her a  _ real  _ kiss."

Dean quirked his brow at the child before he leaned down to press a kiss to Cas’s cheek. He looked up at her. “Did that wake our princess?”

Nancy still held her hand over Cas's eyes. "No! Of course not!" She rolled her eyes. "It's like you've never watched a movie."

FJ laughed evilly in the background. "The evil sorcerer will win and then I’ll turn you into a frog. I’ll turn everyone into frogs!"

“I don’t want to be a frog!” Nancy yelled at Dean. “Only the princess can defeat the evil witch!”

“Sorcerer!”

Dean could see Cas trying valiantly to play dead, his lips twitching with the urge to laugh. He smiled and leaned in close. He hesitated for a moment, Cas’s admission ringing in his ears, but Dean internally repeated a mantra, “It doesn’t mean anything,” before he closed the gap between them, and pressed a chaste kiss to Cas’s lips.

Nancy pulled her hands back and yelled, “Yes! It worked!” As she jumped up to chase her brother, making loud dragon noises, which caused him to flee in a bout of laughter and screams.

But Dean’s focus was still on Cas, and the way he had chased his lips for a second when he drew back. His lips parted from his accelerated breathing as he slowly pushed himself up from the ground. He gave Dean a playful smile before he murmured, “Thank you for saving me from the curse.”

Dean swallowed dryly. “Yeah, uh… gotta save the damsel, right?” Why the fuck was his voice so squeaky?

“Glad your, ‘saving people,’ skills aren’t rusty.” He laughed as stood up from the ground, brushing the grass from his, ‘dress’. “Now, excuse me. I have to catch a little sorcerer.”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. “Good luck, Princess.”

Cas gave him a quick smile before he said, "Oh, and I made apple pie for us later. Sam texted me that they won't be back from their walk before five."

“So, you mean you made apple pie for  _ now?”  _ Dean said with an eyebrow waggle as he walked with Cas back into the house.

Cas chuckled and gave him a soft smile. "You can have one piece, Dean.  _ One…  _ and I don't mean that you just don't cut the apple pie and eat it whole, because that technically counts as one piece."

“That happened one time, one!” Dean said as he held his index finger up.

"I'm just making sure I don't have to bake another today." He patted his shoulder, and winked at him before he quickly rounded the couch as soon as they were inside. Cas grabbed a squeaking, evil sorcerer, lifting him into his arms. "Found you, little sorcerer."

FJ laughed and tiredly pressed his forehead against Cas's shoulder. "Next time, I’ll hide somewhere better."

Cas chuckled and looked down at him with a fond smile. "What did you do to my dragon?"

"Turned her into a frog."

Cas looked over at Dean with a smile. "Oh, no… I have to find her."

“You find the dragon, I’ll unload the groceries,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Frog!" FJ corrected, and Cas laughed before he gave Dean another smile as he went outside with FJ still in his arms.

Thankfully alone, Dean went into robot mode as he started unloading the groceries. It was just a play kiss. Just because it so happened to be with someone who was in love with him meant nothing. Cas clearly understood that, weird attempt at continuing the kiss aside.

It was fine. Everything was fine. Dean was  _ not  _ gay. That kiss meant nothing. It was a stupid nothing kiss. Why the hell was Dean even still thinking about it?

His thoughts were interrupted by the door being slammed open, and Nancy running in, straight for Dean's arms. "Dean!" She looked up at him, tears in her eyes as her lip wobbled. "We found a bird and he’s injured! Cas said he flew against the window, and broke his wing."

Dean picked her up. “It’s okay, munchkin. Where’s the bird?”

"Outside with Cas and FJ. Cas is helping him." She sniffled.

“Let’s go help them, yeah?”

She nodded reluctantly, looking up at him with wide, teary eyes. "What if he dies?"

Dean gave her a reassuring smile. “If Princess Cas can’t save him, we’ll give him a royal burial, okay?” He said as he grabbed a kitchen towel for the bird, and carried her to the backyard.

He found Cas kneeling on the ground, holding the bird in his hand, his fingers wrapped around the tiny body, his other hand covering the bird's head. It looked like a raven, or a crow. All those black birds looked the same to him. FJ seemed pretty unfazed by it, but watched curiously as Cas slowly stood up.

“I brought a towel?” Dean offered as he approached.

Cas looked up at him with a nod before he grabbed it, and gently wrapped it around the bird, which seemed to be completely dazed. "The wing is broken and he's still dazed from the collision. Do we have a box we can put him in? He needs to be in a dark place so the stress won't kill him."

Dean nodded. There was a left over crate he’d brought his records in. “Wanna help me get the box?” he asked Nancy.

Nancy nodded, and Cas carefully followed them inside with FJ. "You need to put air holes in it."

“It’s already got them, it’s an old milkcrate. But you can help me decorate it and make it nice and cozy for him, right?”

Nancy nodded, rubbing away her tears. "Like more dish towels? Like a warm bed?" she asked, looking a lot better now that she had a task to focus on, her shock slowly fading.

Dean nodded. “Exactly. So, you go to the bathroom and find some small towels, and we’ll meet Cas in the living room, okay?”

She ran into the bathroom, and Dean found Cas sitting on the couch, softly pressing the bird to his chest with a heartbroken expression.

Without hesitation, he darted upstairs to grab the crate from his closet, and when he returned to the living room, Nancy was carrying every towel her tiny body could hold. Dean smiled and lowered the crate for her to drop them in. He smiled at her, and they approached the couch.

“Here you go, Cas. He should be damn comfortable in here.”

Cas looked up at him with a sad smile. "Thank you." He carefully placed the bird inside the box, and draped a towel over it before he looked up at Dean. "He needs some rest. The dish towel will prevent him from moving his wing. I put it in a position where it will hopefully heal if the dish towel stays in place. Maybe we should tape it, so it doesn't come off?"

Dean nodded and got up to grab his duct tape from the drawer in the kitchen. He sat on the arm next to Cas as he handed it to him. “He gonna make it?”

"I don't know," Cas replied quietly as he carefully lifted the towel cover and wrapped the duct tape tightly around the dish towel on the little bird. "The next hour will tell." He draped the towel back over the crate and looked at Dean, biting his lower lip. "We should, um, buy one of those stickers for the window. The ones that look like a bird of prey."

“Yeah,” Dean said with a nod. “I’ll order it online.” He braced a hand on Cas’s shoulder. His best friend knew all too well what it was like to lose one’s wings.

"Thank you." Cas stared at the box for a moment before he took in a deep breath, and looked at the kids. "I’ll put the box in my bedroom where it's quiet. And I think you’ve all earned some pie."

"Yea–" FJ's cry of joy was stopped by Nancy covering his mouth.

"Shhh, you’ll wake up the bird."

FJ’s eyes widened, and he nodded before he put his finger to his lips and said, "Shhh."

Cas gave the kids a fond smile before he carried the bird to his room.

Dean ruffled FJ’s hair, and nodded to the kids. “Come on, we can get the pie ready for Cas, yeah?”

FJ nodded thoughtfully and followed Dean into the kitchen. "Is Cas a doctor for birds?"

“Kinda, he’s definitely the best equipped person in this house to make that bird feel better,” Dean said with a smile as he found the pie in the fridge, and pulled it out, and then vanilla ice cream from the freezer. He looked at the kids and quirked his brow. “If you two have sugar restrictions, we can do this one of two ways. You either don’t get your pie ala mode, or we don’t  _ tell  _ your parents you had any. Which one?”

"We're allowed to eat everything Cas gives us," FJ answered with a toothy grin.

Nancy laughed and nodded enthusiastically. "That's right. Mom and Dad said everything." 

“And since I’m the Prince in this scenario, you can eat what I give you too, yeah?”

"Of course," Nancy replied with a smile. "You’re just executing the princess’ order."

Dean chuckled as he started cutting the pie into two normal sized pieces and two kid sized pieces. He put each piece into a bowl and started microwaving each slice, one at a time. “Did you two have a good Halloween?”

"Yeah, we got so-o-o-o much candy!" FJ announced proudly before Nancy shook her head.

"Roland Stickland puked on my shoes because he ate too much chocolate. It was disgusting."

Dean shook his head in dismay. “What a waste of candy.”

Nancy scrunched up her nose. "Right? He just can't enjoy things."

When Cas came back from his room, his eyes were slightly red rimmed and puffy as he sat down next to Dean. "That looks pretty good," he stated with a soft smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Dean scooped an extra big helping onto Cas’s pie and brought it to Cas first. “For the magical princess, who may have lost her healing powers, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t still important.”

Cas bit his lower lip and looked away, swallowing visibly before he breathed out, "Thank you."

Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder, and leaned in to whisper, “You’re welcome.” He proceeded to serve up the a la mode pies to the rugrats before he leaned against the counter to eat his own. 

Nancy leaned against Cas at some point, and he put his arm around her shoulder. "You look tired."

She nodded and yawned. "Dad let us stay up longer on Halloween. We watched a creepy movie, and I couldn't sleep."

Cas gave her a surprised look. "What did you watch?"

_ "Coraline.  _ I swear I'm afraid of buttons now."

"Buttons don't seem very frightening," Cas replied thoughtfully, and Nancy chuckled.

"They do after you watch that movie."

Dean chuckled and said, “Maybe that should be the next movie I make you watch.”

Cas turned to look at Dean. "Why? Do you want me to be afraid of buttons, too?"

“Definitely,” he said with a wink.

"Don't worry, Cas. Dean is your prince. He will always protect you," Nancy stated in a solemn tone.

Cas smiled down at her. "Yeah, you're right. He does. He actually saved me in a lot of ways."

“Prince ain’t the only one doing some saving. Princess here saved me from Hell,” he said with a knowing smile at Cas.

Nancy and FJ both gave Cas identical looks of awe. 

"You have to tell us that story!" FJ demanded.

Cas chuckled and looked down at his half eaten pie. Of course he had eaten the ice cream off the pie first, instead of eating it together. No matter how many times Dean told him it was better to mix ‘em.

"It's a long story," Cas replied, “and your parents will be picking you up in ten minutes."

"Plea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ase!" FJ's puppy eyes were even better than Sammy's.

"Alright." Cas chuckled and folded his hands on the table. "It all began when an archangel came to me, and told me that the Righteous Man had been sent to Hell. Not because he did something bad. But he was tricked by a demon, and to save his brother's life, he had traded his own. But what this man  _ didn't  _ know was that it had all been part of a bigger plan. The demons wanted him in Hell to free the devil, because our prince's destiny was to become a great weapon in the final war between the archangel Michael, and his brother, Lucifer." 

The children gasped and stared at Cas with wide eyes. Cas nodded before he continued, "So I was sent down, leading an army in a siege against Hell to free the Righteous Man. A lot of angels died in the siege, until we finally broke through the gates, and I flew over the endless fiery pits of Hell to search for him. I didn't have much time, because an army of demons were following me. But I was fast, and the Righteous Man's soul was like a beacon, guiding me through the darkness, leading me right to him. So, when I found him, I grabbed him tight, shielding him from the onslaught of demons, as I ascended up to Earth again."

Dean stared at Cas in awe with the kids. He’d never heard the whole story before, and hearing Cas tell it like that… was kind of breathtaking. He stepped closer to Cas and knelt beside him, bracing his hand over Cas’s on the table. “And he saved me from unending pain. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Cas looked down at him with a soft smile before he grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"And then you married and lived happily ever after?" Nancy asked, tone curious yet hopeful.

Dean chuckled and looked back at her with a smile. “Somethin’ like that.”

Nancy beamed at them. "That is a great story!"

FJ nodded enthusiastically. "I want to hear more! What do demons look like?"

Cas chuckled and exchanged a soft smile with Dean. "They, uh, they look disgusting. They don't have real faces. They’re just a swirly mess of evil intent, with sharps wings and spiky tails."

“And in his true form, he’s as tall as the Chrysler building, and basically a glowy ball of light, with a high pitched sound for a voice,” Dean said with a knowing smirk in Cas’s direction.

Cas almost seemed embarrassed by the comment, and Dean knew why when he added, "And I had assumed Dean could understand me, because some humans can understand angel voices. But in reality, I just shattered all the windows around him. So, I turned into the person you see today."

Dean chuckled. “A little nerdy dude with wings,” he said fondly.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Who can still punch certain people if they get too sassy."

Dean stood up again, ruffling his hair. “Sure, baby.” Dean hadn’t meant to use the pet name. He made his way back to the counter, leaning against it because he was just trying to figure out what the hell just happened, and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to focus any attention on keeping himself upright.

"So is it like the  _ Little Mermaid  _ story?" Nancy gushed excitedly. "Did you become human so you could be with Dean?"

Cas rubbed the back of his neck, but he didn’t answer the question because the doorbell rang. It was likely Frank picking up the kids. As soon as Cas opened the door, they both stormed towards their father and proceeded to talk about everything they had done today, excitedly talking over each other.

Cas gave Frank a friendly nod. “It was a day full of adventure.”

Frank reached his hand out for Cas to shake. “They always have a great time with you. Can’t thank you enough for this.”

“It’s my pleasure to have them here, Frank.”

Frank thanked them both again, and after another round of hugs from Nancy and FJ, the rugrats and Dean’s boss departed. Dean gave Cas a pointed look. “You okay?”

Cas took a moment to respond. He bit his lower lip again before he softly shook his head. "No."

“C’mere,” Dean said as he held his hand out for Cas to take. 

Cas didn't look at Dean, his eyes focused on Dean's hand as he grabbed it.

Dean pulled Cas in for a hug, wrapping his arms around him. “You don’t have to be strong.”

Cas pressed himself tightly against Dean, wrapping his arms around his torso. He could hear a muffled gasp before Cas murmured, "I tried to heal him. For a second I forgot that I can't do that anymore. I… couldn't do anything."

“Hey, it’s okay. We just have to heal him the good, old fashioned, human way,” Dean murmured against the crown of his head as he gently swayed them.

"If he survives the next hour," Cas pressed out, taking in an audibly shuddering breath.

Dean drew back and cupped his cheek. “And if he doesn’t, at least he went peacefully, warm, with someone who cares about him by his side.”

Cas looked up at him. Dean could see in his eyes that he got the message. "I'll do anything to make the rest of his life as perfect as possible."

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” he said with a reassuring smile.

Cas hesitantly returned the smile before he pulled back. "I…” He looked down at the floor, "I should start preparing dinner."

“Need a hand?”

“No, thank you,” Cas replied with a soft smile.

Dean smiled and nodded. “Well, holler for me if you change your mind.”

Cas nodded before he started to carry the empty plates back to the kitchen.

With a soft sigh, Dean started retreating to his room when he remembered it wasn’t his room for the time being. So he made his way to Cas’s room. The crate was on the nightstand, under the small lamp.

Dean lifted the blanket and looked down at the little thing. He was sleeping, Dean could see his little chest fall and rise with each breath. Poor little broken bird, trapped with humans.

Unable to stop the second sigh, Dean moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m no bird doctor, but Cas, the guy who rescued you, he used to be a healer. He’s kinda sad he can’t heal you.”

Dean shook his head at himself. Talking to a friggin’ unconscious bird. He wasn’t sure if that made him less, or more normal. And for some reason he couldn’t stop. “But he shouldn’t be. I mean, he might’ve been able to heal you with a touch before, but that doesn’t mean he’s useless. Far from it.

“I’ve come to realize how important Cas is to me, not as an angel, but as a friend, as a roommate.” Dean ran his fingers through his hair and sighed again. He was sighing a lot. “He’s given up everything for me and my brother. And yet he never complains about everything he’s lost.”

Dean moved to stand over the crate. “So, Feathers… you gotta do me a real solid and pull through. For Cas. Alright?”

Despite knowing better, he’d almost hoped the bird would respond. Like some sort of friggin’ Disney movie.

Cas didn’t know what had woken him up in the middle of the night. He was feeling cozy and safe in Dean’s arms, feeling the man’s calming exhales against the back of his neck. He loved sleeping with Dean like this. It felt almost like being a real couple. 

His gaze fell on the box on his nightstand and he carefully sat up, Dean’s arms sliding off of his body. He grabbed the box and quietly left the bedroom with it, before he went to the living room and gently put it down on the table. 

His chest was uncomfortably tight as he carefully opened the box, preparing himself mentally for the bird to be dead. 

Lively eyes looked at him, the magpie’s head twitched as he opened his beak, but no sound came out.

Cas carefully pulled the bird out of the box, and stroked the back of his neck, an area where birds couldn't reach themselves to clean their feathers. He hoped the gesture would calm him down. 

He carried him over to the kitchen sink, and filled an egg cup with water, bringing it to his beak to let him drink. He was pleased to see that the bird instantly started to drink. That was a good sign.

“Now you just need to eat.” He would have to buy some bird food tomorrow, to get the right nutrition for the animal. Until then, he put some mixed cereals in his hand and let the bird peck at it from his hand, which – to his great joy – he did.

“There was a time when I could just touch you, and you would have been healed again,” Cas murmured as he watched the bird eat out of his hand. “I'm afraid… for the first time in my life as a human, I realized how fragile everything is… how from one second to another something could happen. I could lose Dean… and I wouldn't be able to heal him if something happened.” He took in a shuddered breath and whispered, “I can’t lose him.”

The magpie looked up, and made a beautiful sing song noise. Cas smiled down at the bird. “I'm going to take care of you until your wing is healed and you can fly again. Everything will be fine.”

He heard a creak from the wooden floorboards behind him, and when he turned around he saw Dean standing in the doorway. “Dean,” he breathed out. “Did I wake you?”

Dean stretched out his arms as he yawned, his shirt riding up and revealing his stomach. “Woke up, and you and Feathers were gone. Wanted to make sure he, uh… that you didn’t need my help.”

Cas had difficulties looking away from Dean’s revealed skin. He knew it was inappropriate, so he looked back at the bird in his hand. His chest felt warm when Dean’s words sank in. Dean had been worried about him. “I think he will survive. He drank something, and now he is eating. I'm sure he will make a complete recovery. Tomorrow morning I will bandage the wing so he can at least move around on his feet.”

Dean yawned again as he drew closer. “That’s good.” He smiled a little dopily at Cas. “See? Still got the magic touch.”

“If it were actual magic, he would be fine now,” Cas replied quietly.

Dean clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “I know it sucks, but you gotta see you’re still helping him. Most people woulda snapped his neck or left him for dead.”

Cas shuddered, and gave Dean a horrified look. “That’s awful, Dean.” 

He stepped closer to show him the bird, that was now picking at a raisin in his hand. “He is such a beautiful creature. You haven't seen his wings, but they shimmer in different shades of blue.”

Dean smiled. “Cool. Little weird colored raven.”

“They actually belong to the crow family. It’s a magpie,” Cas explained as he gently stroked over its neck again. The bird rewarded him with a sing-song sound before he tilted his head and made a noise that sounded a lot like the word, “feathers.”

Cas squinted his eyes at the bird. “Huh, that almost sounded like he is saying ‘feathers’.”

“Well, guess that seals it.” Dean leaned forward and gently stroked the bird’s head with the pad of his thumb. “That’s your name now. Right, Feathers?”

Feathers sing-songed and tried to catch Dean’s finger with his beak. Cas chuckled, feeling relieved that the bird was doing so much better. “I think he is a little rascal.”

“Looks it,” Dean said with a soft chuckle, turning to lean against the counter. “You doin’ better?”

Cas didn’t want to lie. “I don’t know. I'm relieved, but still a little bit… rattled.” He carried the magpie back to the box and sat it inside, draping a towel over it again so Feathers could get more rest. 

“Want me to make you some hot cocoa?”

Cas shook his head before he hesitantly asked, looking to the ground, “I would like to go back to bed. Would you, um, hold me again? Just to remind me you're still there.”

“Oh, uh… sure,” Dean said as he turned back towards the stairs.

Cas wondered if he had said something wrong. He gave him a quick smile before he carried the box back to his room, and put it on his nightstand again. He crawled into the bed and turned around, because this position seemed to be okay for Dean.

Dean crawled onto the other side of the bed, and opened his arms, yawning as he did so. “Come on, bet we can get at least six more hours.”

Cas slid backwards and into Dean's arms, wiggling until he was comfortably engulfed by Dean's warmth. He sighed and relaxed, murmuring, "How are you always so warm?"

“I’d make a joke about being part werewolf, but it’s not really funny in our case,” Dean murmured as he wrapped his arm around Cas’s torso.

Cas lifted his hand to hold onto Dean's arm, gently stroking his thumb over his wrist. He hummed before he breathed out, "I had so much trouble falling asleep for months, and now that you’re here with me, it's so easy."

“Told you you just needed something to cuddle. Soon you’ll graduate to sleeping with a teddy bear.” Dean chuckled, the heat of his breath painting the nape of Cas’s neck.

It never failed to affect him. He shivered when his whole body was covered in goosebumps. “I don’t think a teddy will be as efficient as you are.” He knew he would miss having Dean in his bed like this when Sam and Eileen left. He sighed, and closed his eyes, trying to enjoy this as long as it lasted. “Although you do have a few characteristics of a bear, Dean.”

Dean growled, “Do I?”

Cas chuckled and carefully slid even closer to Dean. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “You are very grumpy and dangerous when someone wakes you up. But you’re also very cuddly.”

“You keep that to yourself. Can’t go losing my reputation as a badass.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Cas hummed before he turned slightly to look over his shoulder. “And I like it.”

“What?” Dean asked with a chuckle, “that I have a secret?”

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “That you’re cuddly. It’s… it’s very nice that you do this for me.”

Dean shrugged, arms still around him. “I’m glad it’s helping.”

"It is helping a lot," Cas murmured. "I had so many sleepless nights since I became human, and it was starting to affect me. I was always so tired."

“It’s kinda crazy that I help, though. You’d think something like that wouldn’t matter.”

Cas took in a deep breath. "It does though… and I think it's because of the nature of my nightmares… or memories." Cas started to gently stroke over Dean's arm. "It's always about you dying a thousand times over and over, and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm always trapped in a cage, watching myself killing you."

“Jesus, Cas…” Dean breathed out. “I had no idea.”

"They are memories from my time when Naomi tortured me. She cut into my essence, trying to remove whatever kept me from fulfilling her orders. She wanted me to kill you… and she trained me to do it, creating thousands of copies of you. I had no control over my body, all I could do was watch myself killing you over and over again." He gasped when a tear slipped from his eyes. Images of Dean begging for his life before he snapped his neck, overwhelming him.

“Fuck,” Dean murmured as he pulled Cas closer. “That’s fucked up, Cas.”

Cas rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes to wipe away the tear. "Yeah, I'm sorry… I… That's why I think this works. You being right here with me, reminds me that everything is okay. You're okay."

“Shit, Cas.”

Cas turned around in Dean's arms so he could look at him. “I'm sorry… I… probably shouldn't have told you.”

“No, I… shit… I don’t know what to say,” he said with a soft shake of the head.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Cas replied softly before he wrapped his arms around him, and pulled him close. “I just wanted you to know how much you’re helping me,” he murmured into his shoulder.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas. “Still…”

It felt amazing being pressed against Dean’s chest, in his arms. He never wanted to leave this place. Cas hummed against Dean’s shoulder. “This is nice,” he murmured tiredly.

Dean made some sort of affirmative noise as he made no attempt at shifting or moving.

Cas wondered if he could just stay like this. It was like a never ending hug, just on the bed. It was perfect. Maybe if he was quiet about it, Dean would let him stay like this. He closed his eyes and relaxed, enjoying the soft fabric of Dean’s shirt against his face. It smelled like forest and rain, and just… Dean. His fingers closed softly around the fabric of Dean’s shirt on his back, just to hold on to him.

He could feel Dean tensing, his body now rigid under his touch. Cas sighed and pulled back, not looking at Dean before he turned around on the bed and away from Dean. He felt guilty that he had yet again done something that made Dean uncomfortable. Cas knew he should be happy with what Dean was willing to give. He had no right instigating anything. “Sleep well,” he murmured, “and thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he returned, but this time he didn’t close the distance between them.

Cas shivered and felt cold suddenly before he pulled the blanket higher over himself. “Only three days left before Sam and Eileen leave us again,” he murmured. “We should go to the lake with them tomorrow.”

“Good idea. We can take them to our diner,” he said with a soft groan as he shifted on the bed.

Cas turned to look over his shoulder. “Yeah… are you okay?”

“Yeah, just old.” Dean chuckled and repositioned himself.

Cas turned on his stomach and braced himself on his elbows, giving Dean a worried look. “Are you in pain?”

Dean waved him off. “Ain’t nothin’ I haven’t dealt with before.”

“If it’s your back, I could given you a massage,” Cas offered softly, remembering how good it had felt when Dean had done it for him.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised. It wasn’t like Cas could heal anything anymore. He buried his face into his arms and sighed. 

Sometimes he just felt entirely useless, especially at night, when he couldn’t occupy his mind with a mindless task. He felt tired, but he had trouble trying to relax and sleep. Maybe he should get up again. Maybe cleaning up the bathroom would make him tired enough to sleep.

He sat up on the bed, looking for his socks, that he just had pulled off under the blanket, and kicked off of the bed.

“What’re you doin’?” Dean asked in a gruff voice.

“I… sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you.” He found his socks and tiredly pulled them back on. “I just need to do something.”

“Thought you were tired?” he asked as he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Yeah, I am,” Cas replied as he stood up with wobbly legs. “But not tired enough to fall asleep. So I’ll just… clean the bathroom.”

“Dude, what?” Dean furrowed his brow and shook his head. “Just get back in bed.”

Cas sighed and shook his head. "It's no use. I'll just stay awake all night and think about stupid stuff. I need to take my mind off of things. Work usually helps with that."

“Cas, Feathers will be fine. Just try counting sheep or something.” Dean patted the space next to him as he started laying down again. “Come back to bed.”

The urge to do what Dean had told him was incredible, but he shook his head. "It's not about Feathers, Dean. And counting sheep isn't distracting enough."

“Then what’s it about?” 

“I–I don’t want to talk about it.” Cas rubbed his hands over his face before he added, “Just sleep, Dean. It’s not like you need me here to fall asleep.”

“Okay…” he said, sounding rather perplexed as he turned over onto his side.

Cas took in a deep breath before he quietly left the room and walked down to the kitchen. He started preparing food for the next day, thinking about what he could take on a picnic. 

His thoughts wandered to Sam's offer, that he could live with them if Dean found someone else. He wondered if he should really wait for the inevitable heartbreak that waited for him down the line.

He was just making Dean uncomfortable. This… thing between them would never be more than friendship. In the past, when he was still an angel, it had been so much easier to deal with his feelings. But now, as a human… he suddenly had desires, urges, selfish wishes.

And it started to hurt being so close to Dean, but yet being so far. 

Maybe he was holding Dean back, holding him back from truly living his life. If he was out of the picture, Dean wouldn't feel the need to look after him any more. He knew Dean still felt guilty for what happened the last time Cas was human. Maybe he just kept him around to keep him out of trouble. 

If he chose to stay with Sam though, Dean wouldn't feel responsible anymore. Then he could focus on his own life. Dean had told him that he missed sex. It was just a matter of time before he would go out again to find someone. And in a small town like this, the chances were higher it wouldn't stay a one time thing.

What was he doing? Playing house with Dean, pretending they had the kind of relationship everyone thought they had. It was starting to mess with him.

Cas slid to the kitchen floor and leaned tiredly against the counter, feeling strangely numb. So he started to sort the cleaning supplies under the sink, his eyes already drooping.

He startled awake twice with a bottle of detergent in his hand before he finally fell asleep on the kitchen floor.

Dean tossed and turned for about an hour before he decided he needed to check on Cas, otherwise he’d never be able to fall asleep. Cas was acting weird, but then, so was Dean. He didn’t know how to be around Cas anymore. Cuddling him seemed safe and non threatening, well… it did until Dean found out his best friend was in love with him.

How was he supposed to pretend what they were doing wasn’t crossing some wires and mixing some signals? How was he supposed to pretend that the weird energy between them wasn’t leaving him unaffected? Dean should probably go out, go find someone for a one night stand. But the thought of it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

With a deep sigh, Dean swung his legs over the bed and blinked his eyes open as he stood up. Dean was grateful for the clear night sky of Washington, the moonlight was enough to guide him to the stairs and down to the kitchen. 

The sight that met him made him shake his head. “Stupid angel,” he murmured fondly as he leaned down to secure Cas in his arms before lifting him bridal style.

Cas made a soft noise of protest before he curled close to Dean's body, pressing his face into his shoulder, breathing out, "Dean."

“I got you,” he whispered as he tightened his grip around the angel to carry him upstairs.

Cas twisted his fingers into Dean's shirt and whimpered, "No."

“Hey, hey,” he hushed against the crown of Cas’s head, grateful he left the bedroom door open as he carried Cas inside, and carefully draped him on the bed. 

Cas instantly curled into a ball as soon as he let go of him, shivering and breathing irregularly.

Dean gently braced his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Cas, you’re okay, I’m right here.”

Cas flinched under his touch and curled away from him, shivering even more, whispering something under his breath that he couldn’t understand. It sounded like enochian mixed with english.  _ Enolish. _

Dean sighed and crawled into the bed, pulling Cas against him as he settled into their spooning position. “Cas, you’re fine.”

Cas shivered again, whimpering as he tried to wiggle free. "Run," he breathed out. "Dean, run!" And then he startled awake with an audible gasp, sitting up on the bed with wide eyes, breathing hard. When he turned and looked at Dean, he could see the tear running down Cas’s cheek before Cas suddenly pulled him in for a tight hug, breathing out a shuddered, "Dean."

Dean pulled him into his arms again. “C’mere.”

“I hate this,” Cas murmured against Dean’s shoulder. “I hate this so much.”

“I know,” Dean soothed, “but I’m here.”

Cas suddenly tensed and pulled away. “I'm sorry for giving you so much trouble. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“I…” Dean furrowed his brow. “What’s going on, Cas?”

Cas frowned, looking up at Dean. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you flinching away? Apologizing? I don’t…” Dean didn’t know how to word what he wanted to say, so he shook his head and sighed. 

Cas pressed his lips together in a thin line before he looked away. “Because this is weird. You said it yourself… and the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want to be a nuisance. I should go back to sleeping on the couch.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re being pretty goddamn dramatic considering it’s not even four in the morning yet.” He sighed and looked up at Cas. “What is this really about?”

Cas was staring at him for a long moment, and Dean almost thought he wouldn’t answer him. “You’re confusing me,” he stated finally.

Now they were getting somewhere. Dean moved to sit up and turned on the lamp. “Alright. What are you confused about?”

Cas sighed as he knelt on the bed, fiddling with the pillowcase. “You hold me during the night… and we are very close, but then… you said it's weird when I hold your hand. I don’t know what is acceptable between us anymore.”

How the hell was he supposed to tell Cas why it was weird without telling him he knew how he felt about him? Dean sighed, and instead of thinking it over, he blurted the first thing that came to mind, “I’m not gay.”

Cas looked at him like he had just said the dumbest thing ever imaginable. “I'm aware of that, Dean. I don’t see how that impacts us though. We don't have a romantic relationship, and we’ll never be in one.”

He squinted his eyes at Dean. “So sleeping like this or holding your hand… we shouldn’t do it because we're just friends? It's only considered as a romantic gesture, instead of comforting a friend?”

“I…” Fuck, Cas had him cornered. He gave Cas a pointed look. “Are  _ you  _ taking it as comfort?”

He knew all of Cas’s expressions and what he was seeing now was clearly guilt. “I…” Cas looked down at the pillow. “It's mostly comfort, yes.”

Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to confuse you, but I do want to help you.”

“I'm not your responsibility, though,” Cas murmured, “and I think I would feel more comfortable if we stopped being physically close.”

“How’s that gonna help you?” Dean asked, feeling weirdly hurt by Cas’s words.

Cas sighed and looked away. "It helps the part that doesn't feel comforted by you holding me."

Dean had no idea what to say to that. He crossed his legs and braced his elbows against his knees. “I know,” he confessed, voice quiet and resigned.

Cas looked confused for a moment before he asked, "So you… you're okay if I sleep on the couch as long as Sam and Eileen are here?"

“If… if that’s what you want,” he breathed out, absentmindedly rubbing his forearm. 

"What I want is irrelevant," Cas replied quietly, "it's just easier that way. I don't want things between us getting weird."

Dean let out a soft scoff. “Too late for that.”

Cas paled visibly, and gave him a wide-eyed look before he huffed out, "Whoever thought talking about things would help, really had no idea how stupid that is."

Dean couldn’t help the mirthless laugh. “Pretty damn accurate.”

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas sounded heartbroken as he stood up from the bed, and walked to the door.

“Cas, wait.”

Cas pressed his palm against the door before he turned to look at Dean with a pained expression. "What?"

Dean sighed, and looked up at Cas. “Let’s just… for tonight. Or the rest of it anyway. Let’s just ignore the weirdness and get some sleep.”

Cas looked down, swallowing visibly. It seemed like there was a battle going on in his head before he finally sighed and nodded, walking back to the bed to crawl under the blanket. He gave Dean a quick look before he turned his back to him, leaving a huge gap between them. 

Dean scooted a little closer and pulled the blanket up over both of them. “Night, Cas.”

Cas tensed. “Good night… You don’t have to be so close. I don’t want to squish you again should I turn around in my sleep.”

_ Oh.  _ Dean moved away, and turned his back to Cas. “Okay.”

Cas sighed deeply, and he could hear him shuffling. “Dean… I… hate when things between us are weird. Can we just go back to being best friends again? Without all this confusing stuff?”

“Cas…” he started as he turned back to face him. “We'll always be best friends. That won’t ever change.”

Cas turned on his side and gave him a long look. “No matter what?”

Dean drew an invisible X over his chest. “Cross my heart.”

Cas blinked at him, and let out a relieved exhale. “Okay… that's good.”

“Did you think ‘cause I said things were weird that meant we weren’t friends anymore?”

Cas shook his head, and looked down at his pillow. “No, but I’m afraid my inappropriate behavior will annoy you so much that you… won’t want me here with you anymore.”

Dean sighed and shook his head. “You get that I wasn’t surprised by that, right? If I didn’t want to help you, if I didn’t want you here,. I woulda told you.”

Cas gave him a confused look. “I'm not sure what you're saying. What do you mean by you weren't surprised? About what?”

Dean ducked his gaze. “About the fact a part of you isn’t taking it as comfort.”

It was hard to see in the light, but it looked like Cas blushed. “Well, I guess it isn't surprising that I really like when we're close. You make me feel good… and safe. It's more than comfort because being close to you feels like… I'm at peace… like home.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. That was one hell of a compliment. “Sleeping next to me brings you heaven-like peace?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “It's a rather addicting feeling, and I feel guilty that this means more than just comfort and keeping the bad memories away from my dreams.”

Hell, if there wasn’t anything remotely romantic about it, Dean wasn’t really sure why he was so freaked in the first place. Dean shook his head. “Maybe that’s why…” he stopped himself and changed the subject, “if that’s what you need.” He opened his arms in invitation again.

Cas gave him a confused look. “That’s why… What?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean said with a wave of his hand.

Cas didn’t make any move to come closer, he just looked at him thoughtfully. “I'm still confused. Does that mean you’re okay with me wanting to hold your hand?”

“I… I don’t know,” he answered as honestly as he could.

Cas shook his head slowly. “It's weird, you seem to have no problem holding me in your arms during the night. That seems a lot more intimate than holding your hand.”

Dean shrugged. “I just… I don’t want the hand holding to… I don’t want to confuse you more.”

Cas tilted his head. “That’s why I'm saying this. For me it's the other way around. Your hand means comfort, but when I feel all of you against my back…” He shuddered visibly. “That’s confusing.”

He had no idea what to say to that. Dean sighed again and looked at him. “Because you think you’re in love with me?”

Cas stared at him for a moment, before he slowly replied, “No. Because it caused me to have a dream about you that had nothing to do with friendship, and I really don't want a repetition of that very inappropriate moment. So I’d rather you not be too physically close.”

And it clicked. Cas had a sex dream about Dean. And why Dean wasn’t more freaked out, he would never know. “So holding you made you have a sex dream?”

Cas blushed again and looked down at his pillow. “Yeah, kind of.”

Dean chuckled. “It happens. I’ve had some pretty out there sex dreams.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I bet. But surely not of me, so I don't feel particularly happy about the dream I had.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t dream of something so stupid.” Cas actually sounded really angry now. “It's very frustrating.”

Well, the thing was, Dean  _ had _ had a sex dream about Cas. Basically any dude he had a sex dream about got categorized in the weird sexual partner category. “What? Did one of us grow tentacles?”

Cas’s disgusted expression was actually pretty hilarious to watch. “No, we just kissed.” By the look on his face, Cas obviously hadn't planned on sharing that information.

“That’s not a sex dream, Cas.”

Cas looked down before he quietly added, “And we didn't wear any clothes, and we touched each other.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, so a little sex dream. I mean, it happens, Cas. Trust me.”

“But I don't want them to happen. They make me very uncomfortable.” Cas sighed and leaned further away, before he laid down on his side again, this time facing Dean.

“I once had a sex dream about Bela, she was this awful chick, totally screwed us over and not in the fun way.”

“That isn't helping, Dean. It's a shame that brain bleach isn't really a thing. I just need those images out of my head,” Cas grumbled.

Dean chuckled. “Sorry I’m such a crappy sexual partner.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “You weren't… at least in my dream. But it's highly inappropriate to dream of you in that manner. You’re my best friend, and this shouldn't happen… I wonder if it's because I try to suppress everything about sexual urges during the day, that this is the revenge of my body.”

“Hey, we’ve all been there.”

Cas gave him a pointed and very skeptical look. “I highly doubt that.”

Dean sighed. “I’ve had plenty of weird sex dreams too.”

“It was my first one.” Cas looked down. “And  I hate that it was about you. Because I never thought of you in that way… and then this dream happened and… It felt exciting and… and then I started to wonder.” Cas sighed and shook his head. “I just want to forget about it, and I hope it never happens again. And I really don’t want to provoke this into happening again by getting too close to you.”

“You know that’s not how it works?” Otherwise Dean might have acted on some of those damnable dreams.

“It doesn’t?” Cas asked with wide eyes.

Dean shook his head. “If it did, we’d probably all be in trouble.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked slowly, but with an expression that looked slightly disturbed.

“I’m just saying, you aren’t alone.” 

Cas gave him a long look before he hesitantly asked. "Does that mean you dreamed about me too?"

Dean sighed and looked down. “Maybe once or twice,” he quietly confessed.

He could hear Cas's breathing hitch before he stammered, “A-and that didn’t freak you out?”

“Hell yeah it freaked me out, but I got over it, and you will too.”

Cas nodded slowly, looking relieved now. "So… it doesn't mean anything?"

Dean gave him a reassuring smile. “Not necessarily.”

"Oh," Cas breathed out. "Good. And I guess they don't occur very often. It was just bad luck on my side?"

Dean shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know for freshly turned humans. If this is your teenage stage, then you might get them more frequently.”

Cas grimaced before he rubbed his hand over his face. "That's very unfortunate. I hope you're wrong. I’d rather have a nightmare than that."

“Really?” Dean challenged. Even though it wasn’t something he wanted, he would’ve hoped a sex dream about him would be less terrifying than a nightmare.

Cas seemed very serious about it though as he nodded. "Yes, definitely."

Dean let out a soft chuckle. “Good to know.”

Cas sighed and turned on his stomach, crossing his arms before he rested his head on them. "I told you that sex doesn't mean something positive for me. So I wouldn't mind if these stupid thoughts and urges just went away."

“Well, you wouldn’t say that if you had a good experience.”

Cas shrugged. "Maybe not. But I don't see the point in getting distracted by things that aren't going to happen in my future anymore."

Dean shrugged as he turned onto his side, facing Cas. “You say that and watch, next week you meet the lady of, well… maybe not  _ your  _ dreams.”

Cas scoffed and shook his head. "I'm not interested in getting to know anyone like that, Dean. I just don't want to."

“Doesn’t mean it won’t happen.” Dean sighed and gently braced his hand over Cas’s. “I know you aren’t looking, but if that changes, I won’t give you shit for it.”

Cas looked down at his hand before he gently pulled it away. "I appreciate that, but I’m telling you, I don't have any interest in those kind of things. I just want to live my life here with you for as long as possible."

Dean drew back his hand and sighed. “Okay.”

"And by the way, I'm neither interested in women nor men." Cas rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm an angel. I don't have a gender, and although my body is male, I don't see myself as a man... it's difficult to explain. But since I have problems understanding the concept of gender, I also don't apply it to humans. I see someone first and foremost as a human."

“So, uh… how does being in love work for you?”

Cas didn’t look at Dean, instead he just rested his chin on his arms and stared at the headboard. “Loving someone is probably the only emotion that isn't exclusive to humans. Angels can fall for someone.”

Dean wasn’t sure why he kept pursuing the line of questioning he was, but he wasn’t able to stop himself. “So, what is it you fall for?”

Cas turned to look at him before he gave him a soft smile. “Burger with bacon, and a strawberry milkshake.”

Dean chuckled. “I get that.”

Cas looked away, his gaze fixed on the headboard again. His voice was quiet when he said the next words, “In a person though… it’s loyalty, strength, selflessness… and when angels fall, it's completely. I would do anything for that person. I would tear the universe apart just to make them happy. Which seems extreme…” He chuckled mirthlessly and shook his head. “But angels tend to be absolute in every aspect of life. It's a design flaw.”

“Are you… are angels able to not love that person anymore?” Dean honestly didn’t know what answer he wanted to hear more.

Cas slowly shook his head. “No.” And then he looked at Dean with a pained expression. “And we usually live forever… another design flaw when we fall for a human. More than once I witnessed a Rit Zien killing an angel out of mercy for losing the person he loved to Hell… or Purgatory.”

_ Fuck.  _ So, either way Dean looked at it, Cas was screwed. Getting him to fall in love with someone else would be a moot point. “That sucks, Cas.”

Cas shrugged. “Not for me. I lost my grace. I can die now.”

“Yeah, but…” But what? But that meant Dean was going to lose Cas, not the other way around. And he didn’t like that one bit. “It’s gotta suck to love someone and never see anything come of it.”

Cas laughed at that and shook his head. “I got to spend time with the person I fell for; I got to help them in their life. The person rewarded me with their friendship, and I couldn't be happier about that. It's so much more than I expected to get in return, more than I deserve.”

If Dean didn’t know better, he might have thought Cas was talking about someone else. But he did know better. “We’ll always be friends, Cas.”

The smile slid from Cas’s face and he stared at Dean in shock. “Y-you know…”

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. “I heard you and Sam the other day.”

Cas swallowed before he pressed his eyes shut, murmuring, “Damn it. No.” He gave Dean a pained look. “You were never supposed to know that. This doesn't change anything. I-I…” Cas started to breathe quicker. “I just want to stay your friend. I know you will never feel the same for me, and I accepted that a very long time ago.”

Dean gently grasped Cas’s shoulder. “Cas, dude… breathe. Look, it’s not… it’s not a deal breaker for me or anything.”

Cas gave him a soul searching look before he took in a shuddered breath and nodded. “Okay, good… I just… I want you to know that I would never expect anything from you. And I hope knowing this won't hold you back from finding someone you can love, just to spare my feelings.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “That’s about as likely as you finding someone.” He sighed and gave Cas a serious look. “That’s what I meant about confusing you. I don’t want to give you mixed signals with the way I try to comfort you.”

Cas shook his head. “You won't. I'm very aware of what you prefer in a romantic partner.” Dean was pretty sure Cas was aiming to say that without showing any emotion, but he could hear the underlying frustration. “But I feel guilty because it's more than comfort for me. And since that isn't your intention, it feels wrong to continue this.” Cas sighed and bit his lower lip before he added, “And should you still find a woman that you want to spend your life with, Sam has kindly offered to let me move in with them. So you don't need to worry about me.”

“What?” Dean asked, his head spinning. That was a lot of information in a short span of time. Cas was planning on leaving? To move in with Sammy? The idea made him feel physically sick.

“I may just want you to be happy, Dean, but I won't stay here and watch you with someone else in this house.” Cas shook his head. “So Sam suggested that I move to California, should you meet someone.”

Wow. “So if I met someone, I’d have to choose between you and her?”

Cas gave him a pointed look. “I'm not as important as the woman you will fall in love with. And you would need the house… and not me. I would only be in the way, but Sam and Eileen still have a use for me.”

“Goddamnit, Cas! We don’t keep you around because of your usefulness.” Dean shook his head and turned onto his other side, away from Cas. He was done with every part of this conversation.

“I know that, Dean!” Cas growled back. “You need to stop thinking being useful is something bad for me. I may look and practically  _ be _ human, but I'm still an angel, and you keep forgetting that I need to have something to do to be happy. It's in my nature and I can't change that any more than you can change your cute freckles." 

Dean turned back to Cas, and said the first thing that popped into his head., “Cute, huh?”

Cas blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to say that."

“So what  _ did _ you mean to say?” Dean asked as he poked Cas’s side.

Cas flinched away with a grin before he rolled his eyes and replied, "The complete sentence without embarrassing admissions."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. He reached out his hand to Cas, in offer of a handshake. “Let’s just continue our lives as we have been. I don’t want there to be awkwardness between us anymore.”

Cas grabbed his hand and shook it firmly, giving him a serious look. “I’d like that.”

“Deal. So can we go to sleep now?” 

Cas gave him a tired smile. “Yeah, I apologize in advance if I push you off the bed, or land on top of you again.”

Dean chuckled and slipped his arm under his pillow. “Too bad spooning is out, ‘cause that seems to work.”

Cas gave him a confused look. “I doubt you still want that now that you know about my feelings for you,” Cas murmured quietly before he turned around, and away from him.

“Cas. We’ve been spooning all week. You remember when you had that conversation with my brother, right?”

“Yes?” Cas asked slowly.

Dean gave him a pointed look. “And haven’t we still been spooning? If you’re uncomfortable that’s one thing, but if you’re hesitant because of me, you don’t have to be.”

“But doesn’t it bother you… that I like it more than I should?”

“I mean, if we both know it’s not going anywhere, I don’t see why that would matter.” Dean shrugged.

Cas took in a deep breath. “You’re right,” he mumbled, and Dean could hear the sadness in his voice.

Dean reached out and gently braced his hand over Cas’s, this time prepared for him to pull away. “I am sorry I can’t be what you want.”

He didn’t pull away though, instead he just looked up at Dean. “Don't be. You give me so much more than I hoped for.”

“Still,” he murmured as he squeezed Cas’s hand.

Cas turned his hand and intertwined their fingers, squeezing back while he just looked at him. “That’s why I hated the dream so much. I was content with this, but now I'm curious what more feels like, and it's frustrating because I don't want to think that.”

Dean swallowed dryly, unsure entirely how to reply to that. It’s not like he could offer to show Cas. “I blame all those Disney movies you watch with the rugrats,” he joked lamely.

Cas gave him a soft smile. "I never saw a sex scene in the  _ Little Mermaid." _

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause the new rendition edited out the priest’s boner and the penises in the castle.” Dean smirked at him.

Cas raised his eyebrows. "You're joking."

Dean shook his head. “Swear on your Kitchenaid mixer.”

Cas shook his head, his thumb rubbing over the back of Dean's hand. "I try to forget about those thoughts... but it's more difficult than I thought it would be."

“Anything I can do to help?”

Cas visibly blushed again before he looked away from him. "You could tell me kissing you isn't really that good."

Dean smiled at him. “It’s terrible. I’m the worst kisser in existence.”

Cas hummed. "I don't believe you for even a second."

“I’ve been told I’m like a dead fish,” he assured with a smirk.

"By whom?" Cas asked, squinting his eyes at him.

Dean shrugged. “You wouldn’t know ‘em.”

Cas gave him a thoughtful look. "It isn't working, but thanks for trying."

Dean chuckled and relaxed against his pillow. “I guess my lying skills are rusty.”

Cas closed his eyes with a soft smile. "Yeah, that wasn't very persuasive." He blinked at Dean and scrunched up his nose. "Would you hold me again?" he asked softly, sounding shy.

“You sure?”

Cas sighed and shook his head. "No, but I would like to sleep, and if you aren't uncomfortable with this… I would like to try again."

Dean nodded, and opened his arms for Cas to get into the little spoon position. “Then let’s go to sleep.”

Cas gave him another soft smile before he turned around and slid into Dean’s arms with a soft sigh. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Cas,” he breathed out as he wrapped his arm around Cas, and soaked in the scent of Cas’s shampoo, something he’d started associating with a relaxed contentment, before he finally drifted off to sleep.

He could feel Cas’s hand sliding gently over the arm that was holding him, carefully pulling it level with his upper chest and face. Cas bent forward to press a soft kiss to his knuckles, whispering, “Sleep well.”

Dean nodded, way too tired to process the confusion he was feeling in that moment. “Night, Cas,” he whispered as Cas’s breathing lulled him to sleep.

That first day Cas had felt incredibly embarrassed that Dean knew about his feelings for him. It wasn’t easy that they were still sharing a bed, especially when he kept waking up with a morning... tree.  _ No, that wasn’t the right word.  _ Anyway… he felt torn when Sam and Eileen had to leave again, and Dean moved back into his own room. 

Though it was easier for Cas to have a clear line now. While he very much enjoyed being close to Dean, he couldn’t deny that it left him hoping for more. And this hope was something he couldn’t deal with, because of how impossible and ridiculous it all was. 

Everything went back to normal, but he was more aware now how close he sat next to Dean, and he tried to keep his distance so he didn’t give Dean the wrong impression. He was still afraid Dean would feel uncomfortable with it. 

Two weeks after Sam and Eileen’s visit, he got a sudden text message from Claire while he was preparing dinner for Dean and himself. Later than usual, because Dean was working late today.

_ Claire: Be at your place in 10 minutes. I hope you have cold beer in the fridge. _

Cas gasped before he smiled. Even though Claire coming over was entirely unexpected, it was a very nice surprise. He texted back that he did indeed have beer in the fridge, and that he was happy about the surprise, when he heard the front door opening.

He pulled off his bee apron that Dean had bought for him a few weeks ago, and walked out of the kitchen to the living room with a smile as soon as he saw Dean pulling off his jacket. “Hello, Dean. Claire is coming over! She just texted me.”

Dean grinned, and pulled up a large paper bag from the floor. “That’s great. Well, if you hate this, we can just give it to Cyrus.”

“Hate what?” Cas asked in confusion, tilting his head.

“Just open it,” Dean said with a smile as he handed Cas the bag, and went to the fridge to grab a beer.

Cas carefully opened the bag, and pulled out something incredibly soft. It was a teddy bear that was dressed in a bee costume. He raised his eyebrows, wrapping his arms around it before he turned to Dean. "You bought me a teddy?"

Dean chuckled and stepped forward, grabbing the toy’s paw and squeezing. Suddenly the toy said,

“I’m here, Cas.” It sounded just like Dean.

Cas gasped and pressed the paw himself, causing the teddy to say it again. He gave Dean a wide eyed look before he pulled Dean into a tight hug. "Thank you." 

Dean had recorded a message for him to help him with the nightmares. It was such a thoughtful present, and Cas couldn't help but feel incredibly happy with the fact that Dean had invested his time in giving him something so precious. "Thank you so much," he repeated into his shoulder. 

Dean chuckled and gently rubbed his back. “Hopefully it’ll help you,” he murmured.

Cas sighed into the hug, loving how being in Dean's arms always made him feel more at home and content than usual. He only reluctantly drew back, not far though, so he could look at Dean with a smile, instantly getting lost in his kind, green eyes. "I'm sure it will. This is a very thoughtful gift. Thank you." 

Dean smiled and gently smacked his cheek. “I take care of my angel.” He drew back and took a swig of his beer. “How long before teenage angst gets here? Do I have time to shower?”

Cas couldn't stop smiling about the fact that Dean had called him, 'his angel'. "Um, she said she would be here in ten minutes. Which was probably five minutes ago. If you're really quick?"

Dean handed him the beer, and winked as he darted up the stairs.

Cas looked after him for a moment, letting out a contented sigh before he put Dean's beer down on the table and went to his room, placing the teddy on his pillow with a soft smile.

He checked on Feathers in the old birdcage he got from his boss Allan. They hadn't needed it anymore because their pet bird had died a year ago. Cas hoped that in another week Feathers' wing would finally be healed, and he could fly again. He didn’t like that he needed to keep the bird in a cage, but he needed the rest, and Cas was afraid he would hurt himself if he ran around the house. Also Dean had told him pretty early on that he didn’t want the bird to shit everywhere. So Feathers stayed in the cage sitting on a beam, making the most interesting and beautiful noises when he saw Cas.

Sometimes even at night, but since Cas didn’t sleep in his room very often after Sam and Eileen had left, that wasn’t really problematic.

Feathers was sleeping, his head tucked under his healthy wing, and for a moment Cas felt weirdly envious of him for still having his wings. Which was ridiculous, but he had soon discovered that feelings sometimes worked like that.

When he quietly left the room, he could hear a car pulling up in their driveway. Cas couldn’t contain the smile, running to the door to open it. It was Claire, driving up in a silver Ford with Kaia sitting next to her. She had apparently met the young woman on a hunt, and from then on they were inseparable. It was nice to know Claire wasn’t out there on her own. 

He waved at Claire with a bright smile as she got out of the car and rolled her eyes fondly at him, before she practically darted forward and hugged him tightly. "Hey, doofus."

Cas held her close before he let her go again, looking at her in amazement. He had missed her. "Hello, Claire. This is a nice surprise."

“We were in the area, so I figured we should stop by.” 

"I'm very happy. Hello, Kaia," he greeted the shy girl, who gave him a small smile in return. "Please, come in," he said and stepped aside, letting the two girls inside first. "I'm cooking dinner at the moment. It's more than enough if you're hungry. I always cook more so Dean has leftovers for the next day."

Claire laughed. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight Dean for his leftovers.”

“Hey, I’ve learned to share!” Dean said as he traipsed down the stairs, clad only in jeans as he towel dried his hair.

Claire groaned. “Dude, put a shirt on! I don’t want to see that!”

Dean chuckled and started shimmying his shoulders, causing his muscles to flex and contract with the movement. “Soak it in!”

Cas did exactly that, feeling guilty when he imagined touching Dean, his fingers sliding over a very tempting chest. Claire groaned, and braced her hand over Kaia’s eyes, who was laughing softly. 

“I can’t believe you’re already trying to embarrass me in front of my girlfriend after five seconds,” Claire announced, interrupting Cas’s thoughts about touching Dean. 

It was enough to shake him from his reverie. He gave Claire a happy smile. “You two are a couple? That's wonderful, I'm happy for the two of you.”

“See? I told you angels are cool with it,” Claire said to Kaia with a proud smirk.

Cas looked over at Kaia and nodded. “My father is indifferent about sexual orientation. As are angels. He created humans, and many other animals, to be sexually fluid.”

Kaia nodded mutely, and looked at Claire with such a beatific smile, it was a little breathtaking. “That’s nice to know.”

“I’m not sexually fluid,” Dean said.

Claire rolled her eyes. “No, you’re a dumbass.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at her, and she blew him a kiss.

Cas looked down with a shy smile. “Sit down please. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

“I’ll help you,” Claire announced before she kissed Kaia’s cheek, and followed Cas into the kitchen. As soon as they were alone, she leaned in close, whispering, “So, how’s living with Hasselhoff?”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at her as he stirred the pasta sauce and pulled it from the stove. “It’s very nice.”

Claire quirked her brow as she stilled his hand. “Talk to me.”

He gave her a long look, getting the impression that she somehow already knew everything. He had no idea why Claire was so insightful. “It’s… not easy sometimes. But at the same time it is. It’s hard to explain,” he said before he poured the noodles into a strainer. 

“Well, if the loser opened his eyes, it would probably be easier for both of you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked carefully. She couldn’t know that he had feelings for Dean. At least, he  _ hoped  _ it wasn’t that obvious.

Claire gave him a bitch face that rivaled one of Sam’s. “So, it took me way too long to realize I had a thing for Kaia. Because I was so convinced I was straight.”

Cas looked down, biting his lip. “I’m very aware of my feelings for Dean. And Dean knows too. But he doesn’t feel the same about me.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Bullshit he doesn’t.”

Cas gave her a pointed look. “I think he would tell me if he did.”

“Dude doesn’t think he can like guys; he just needs to realize he can.”

“How?” Cas asked, suddenly feeling hopeful with Claire’s words. “I mean, how did you… realize that you like Kaia in that way?”

Claire laughed again as she leaned against the counter. “She kissed me after she saved my ass on a hunt.”

“Well, he kissed me one time, but it was part of a game. And he only likes me as his best friend,” he explained while filling the plates with the pasta. 

Claire furrowed her brow. “What kind of game?”

“I look after two kids, and they made Dean kiss me to wake me up from a curse.” He couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Claire shook her head. “Then it wasn’t a real kiss.”

“It was over very quickly.” Cas nodded with a sigh. How often he had wished for a real kiss.

“Yeah, it doesn’t count. I wouldn’t kiss him if I were you, ‘cause I don’t think you would know how to read the signs. But if you give it time, I’m sure he’ll kiss you.”

“Why do you think that?” Cas asked, shaking his head in confusion. “He hasn’t shown any interest in me so far. And I certainly will never try anything in that direction.”

Claire shook her head. “Because you haven’t seen how he is when you’re missing or dead.”

Cas gave Claire a pointed look. “I know that he loves me… but it’s not in a romantic way.”

“Sure,” she said with a scoff. “So, how can I help?”

“I don’t know… I don’t think there is anything to be done… I just have to accept it.” He looked up at Claire. “Oh, did you mean with the food?”

Claire chuckled. “Yeah, doofus.”

Cas laughed and handed her two plates, feeling embarrassed. “Here just take those out for you and Kaia. I’ll bring the rest, and then I’ll get you your beer.”

“Okay.” She grabbed the plates and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, Dad.” Claire promptly left, carrying the two plates.

Cas thought he was having a heart attack, frozen to the kitchen floor. The last time Claire had called him Dad was when he had taken her real father away from her. To hear her say it was almost too much, but at the same time, it made him so incredibly happy. He felt guilty about it, but he loved Claire so much, and he always wished she saw him that way. 

He carried Dean’s and his plate out to the living room, putting them onto the dining table before he asked Kaia what she wanted to drink. 

“Just water for me, thanks.” Kaia gave him a shy smile.

“Let me help,” Dean said as he got up.

Cas flashed him a grateful smile, and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab three beers.

Dean shook his head, and put two of the beers back. He smiled and grabbed a couple of glasses, putting ice in them. “You and me are having a real drink tonight,” he said as he grabbed an aged scotch he had been saving for a special occasion.

“Because this is a special occasion?” Cas asked curiously as he poured water into a glass for Kaia.

“Yeah. Life is good, everyone we love is healthy and happy. I can’t think of a more special occasion.”

“And Claire just called me Dad,” Cas added with a proud smile.

Dean returned the smile and chucked his chin. “Then this is  _ definitely _ a special occasion.”

Cas’s cheeks hurt from how hard he was smiling, and he hoped it didn’t look too dreamy when he stared at Dean. But he couldn’t help but love it every time Dean touched him in any way. Even if it was just how he chucked his chin. “Okay, then you carry our glasses, and I’ll bring Kaia’s water and the beer for Claire.” He said as he opened the beer for her. “I’m so happy they came to visit us.” 

“Me too. Do you know how long they’re staying?” he asked as he started heading towards the dining room.

Cas gave him a surprised look. He hadn’t thought of asking them. “No, we should ask. You’re okay with them staying, right?”

Dean shrugged. “Sure. They can have my room.”

Cas nodded and gave him a quick smile. “Okay, you can have mine then.”

“I won’t boot you out. We’ve shared a bed before.”

Cas gave him a another quick, shy smile and nodded. "Okay." His heart was hammering fast in his chest because he missed having Dean sleeping next to him. "Thank you."

Dean shrugged and made his way to the table, placing Cas’s glass down before he sat. “You two gonna crash here?” he asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"At least for a night would be awesome," Claire replied with a smirk. "If you don't mind us commandeering your couch."

"You two can sleep in Dean's room. It has its own bathroom," Cas offered as he sat down next to Dean, and opposite of Claire.

Kaia shook her head. “I’d feel bad about kicking you out of your room.”

Dean chuckled and waved her off. “I’ll just bunk with Cas. No big.”

Claire's eyes went wide. "You sleep with Cas?"

Dean rolled his eyes. “Not like that.”

"Interesting that your mind went to sex straight away." Claire smirked, and Cas couldn't stop his face from heating up again, trying to hide it by focusing on his dinner.

“Can it, Cyrus, or we’ll make you guys crash in Cas’s room, and you’ll have to deal with Feathers.”

"The bird you saved," Claire asked. "How is he?"

Cas gave her a happy smile, glad for the subject change. "He is doing very well. I think by the end of next week I can remove his bandage. But sometimes he sings at night or he makes… other noises. He also talks."

“So he’s a magpie?” Kaia asked.

"Yes." Cas nodded. "I can show him to you after dinner, if you want."

“Yes, please,” Kaia said, eyes wide with excitement.

Dean looked at Claire. “Why aren’t you that polite?”

Claire took a sip from her beer, and gave Dean a pointed look. "Why aren't you?"

“I’m plenty polite,” he defended before shoveling a fork full of spaghetti into his mouth.

Claire arched her eyebrow. "I can see that."

Cas couldn't help but chuckle, exchanging an amused look with Kaia at the bantering between those two. He could watch them interact all day.

As Dean slurped a string of spaghetti into his mouth, sauce splattered all over his chin. “I’m not gonna be judged by Miss Rebel without a clue.”

Cas's fingers twitched to wipe the sauce from Dean's chin, but he knew that was inappropriate. So, he just softly touched Dean’s arm and pointed to his own chin. "You got sauce–"

"Maybe you should wear a bib?" Claire suggested as she carefully swirled her own spaghetti, and elegantly ate it without making a mess. Probably to make a point.

“Oh, them’s fightin’ words,” he said as he picked up a meatball, took a bite, and hurled it at Claire, hitting her shirt.

Claire stared at Dean with a shocked expression, but Cas stopped her before she could retaliate. “Stop fighting,” he said, tone stern.

Claire gave him a pout. ”But he started it!”

“And I'm ending it,” Cas said with the most authoritative tone he could muster.

Claire glared at Dean. “Very mature, Dean.”

Dean smirked and gave her a wink as he stuffed another mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth. Even more sauce getting all over his chin and cheek.

Cas leaned towards Dean, not able to stop himself, as he gently wiped the sauce from his face with his thumb, looking at him fondly, while at the same time trying to give him a pointed look.

Dean gave him a half smile. “Thanks, Cas.”

“Are you seeing this?” Claire asked Kaia in an exaggerated tone. “Stop making heart eyes in front of us. It's gross.” She laughed and threw Dean’s half eaten meatball right in Dean’s face.

“That’s it,” Dean said as he stood up and threw a handful of spaghetti at Claire, most of it ending up in her hair.

Cas frowned and looked down at the table. “I wasn’t aware my food was so bad it’s only good as projectiles.”

“Aww, Cas,” Dean murmured as he leaned in close to him, his face mere inches away, his  _ lips  _ mere centimeters away. Before Cas could react, Dean smirked and smashed a meatball against Cas’s lips. “Sometimes you gotta play with your food.”

That was not very nice. Using his attraction to Dean to mess with him. Cas dipped his finger in his tomato sauce before he drew a line on Dean’s cheek, glaring at him. “Like this?”

Dean chuckled and grabbed another handful of spaghetti before patting it on the top of Cas’s head. “More like this.”

The noodles slid from his head, dripping down in his lap. Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean. He grabbed a handful of spaghetti and smooshed it directly in Dean’s face.

He could hear Claire pulling Kaia carefully away from the table.

Dean laughed and shook his head over Cas’s lap before he went for the garlic bread, rubbing it into Cas’s hair.

Cas grabbed his wrist trying to stop him, making the bread tumble out of Dean’s hand, landing on his lap. “You are the one cleaning this mess up, just so you know.”

“Worth it,” Dean said with a smirk.

Cas let go of Dean’s wrist in favor of painting a heart with tomato sauce on Dean’s cheek. He sighed as he looked down at himself. “I feel disgusting and sticky.”

“You should take a shower. Both of you.” Claire smirked from their now safe spot on the sofa.

Dean rolled his eyes as he handed Cas a paper towel to do a small clean up. “You should make your mouthy daughter clean up this mess since it’s technically her fault.”

“Technically, you should clean everything alone, because you started throwing food at her.”

“Hah!” Claire exclaimed.

Cas crossed his arms over his chest before he stood up. “I’ll go take a shower.”

Dean grabbed his wrist. “Hey. Are you genuinely pissed at me?”

A part of him  _ was  _ genuinely angry with Dean. But not because of the food fight. More because, for a second, he had actually thought Dean was about to kiss him. He was probably more angry with himself for believing it. After a moment he shook his head with a defeated sigh. “No, I’m not.”

“It  _ was  _ really good,” he assured as he moved to stand. “I mean, the parts I got to try.” Dean gave him one of his patented charming smiles. 

Cas responded in kind, with a shy smile in return. “Thank you.” He hated how much Dean’s charming smile worked on him.

Dean nodded. “I’m sorry I wasted it. And it’ll be clean by the time you get back.”

"Thank you." Cas gave Dean another smile before he turned around and carefully walked to his room to get a change of clothes before he walked to the shower. 

He wondered why his heart was still beating so fast, when he recollected the soft tone in Dean's voice, as he finally started the cooling water.

Dean sighed as he stepped into his bathroom. Cleaning marinara sauce out of upholstery was a hell of a lot harder than he thought it was going to be, and considering how often he had to clean blood out of his and Sammy’s favorite shirts… Well, he figured marinara sauce should’ve been a piece of cake.

It also didn’t help that Claire kept friggin’ singing,  _ “Dean and Cas sittin’ in a tree…”  _ How he managed to not smack her upside the head, Dean would never understand. He shook his head at the memory of it.

That’s when he saw his reflection in the mirror. Dean laughed and leaned in to inspect the marinara heart Cas had clearly drawn on his cheek. His initial thought was how cute that was, which was immediately followed by a full-on recoiling double take at his reflection.

_ No.  _ Dean didn’t think Cas was cute. He thought the idea of the man drawing a heart on his face was cute. Which was totally normal. A grown man, who was in love with Dean, using marinara sauce to draw a heart on the man he loves’ cheek…

Dean let out a mirthless chuckle as he shrugged off his shirt. He couldn’t even finish the thought, it was so friggin’ out there. And Dean knew out there. Dean had literally danced with out there. He cranked on the shower and sat on the toilet as he waited for the water to warm up. 

After staring into space for the time it took for the water to warm up, Dean decided to do something he’d never done before. As he stepped under the stream, eyes fluttering closed on instinct, he forced himself to think of Cas. Wicked blue eyes  – the kind of blue that kissed the sand of caribbean islands, or at least Dean  _ assumed,  _ because they still never made it to the beach –  that held way more emotion than his face ever could. 

Like the way his pupils dilated when Dean leaned in close during the impromptu food fight. Dean knew it was a dick move, using Cas’s attraction to Dean against him, but for some reason Dean couldn’t help himself. Since Cas had stopped sleeping in the same bed as him, he’d felt weirdly neglected. It was bizarre. 

Dean took way too long to realize he missed having Cas next to him. The night he realized that, he’d ended up at a bar the next town over, spending way too much time contemplating whether or not he should pick up the walking, talking White Snake music video girl. He went as far as buying her a drink, and a sloppy makeout session against the hood of Baby, but it felt… off. Weird. Dean ended up telling her he couldn’t go through with it, and she nodded with impressive understanding. 

She’d “been the other woman before.” And fuck, that realization knocked the breath out of him. It was like his damn heart felt one way, and his brain wasn’t on board. Or maybe it was the other way around. 

Dean held his face under the stream, the rhythmic beating against his eyelids a calming and cleansing ritual as he kept his focus on Cas’s face. A ruggedly handsome face, offset by remarkably pretty accents, like his lips. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t think about them long before all of this shit went down.

It was another fucked up realization, but one he made peace with a little quicker than the others. So whenever Dean was alone, he would force himself to think of what it might be like to be like  _ that…  _ with Cas. But he never got past kissing fantasies before he would start freaking out again.

But tonight? Tonight was fucked, because when he leaned in, he almost closed the distance between them. Maybe his fantasies bled into reality. Maybe he needed to stop doing it. And besides, he’d get to sleep in the same bed as Cas again tonight, maybe that would be enough to tide him over. 

It was part of the reason he had that custom teddy bear made for Cas. The main reason was to help Cas if he needed it, but a tiny, sneaky part of him wanted Cas to miss the real thing, enough to go back to sharing his bed. But Dean couldn’t say that, ask that of him, because… well, it would be cruel. Right?

He finished his shower in a daze and dressed in clean clothes, making his way back downstairs with one thing on his mind. Scotch. A fuck ton of scotch.

Cas was sitting on the couch with the two girls, chatting about Feathers when Cas noticed Dean and looked up at him with a gentle smile, making room next to him on the couch.

“Ah, good,” Claire sat as she waved with her beer bottle. “I have an announcement to make.”

“Don’t tell me you’re knocked up too?” Dean asked as he held up a finger. “Let me grab the scotch.”

“Too?” Claire asked with wide eyes. “Who else is pregnant?” 

“Sam’s wife, Eileen,” Cas answered, “which means Dean is going to be an uncle.”

Dean rejoined them with two new glasses for him and Cas in one hand, the bottle in the other. “So’s Cas.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I’m very excited about this.”

Claire gave him a soft smile and shook her head, murmuring, “You big softy.” She intertwined her hand with Kaia’s before she said, ”So, we’ve decided to get out of the hunting business, too. We ran into the same trouble as you did. There aren’t many monsters left, so it got pretty boring.”

Dean could see the relieved look on Cas’s expression. Cas had never said it outright, but he  _ did  _ worry about Claire in the family business. A lot. 

“So what are you going to do? Where are you going to live?” Cas asked with an excited tone in his voice.

Claire rolled her eyes. “We don’t know yet, so we’re traveling the country, see if we like anywhere enough to settle.”

Kaia pulled Claire’s hand to her lips and smiled. “Well, we did encounter a magpie.”

Dean furrowed his brow and looked at Cas with a bemused smile. He’d gotten damn good at silent communication. 

"This town is a very nice place to live," Cas replied with a smile. "Why don't you move here?"

Claire laughed and shook her head. “That’s what she was implying.”

Cas’s smile somehow got even bigger. “That would be incredible!”

“What’s the deal with the magpie?” Dean asked as he slumped down next to Cas, handing him a glass.

Kaia smiled shyly. “My tribe sees the magpie as a directional guardian. Encountering one means we’re heading in the right direction.”

"I think it's saying you found the place," Cas replied with a now serene smile.

Claire leaned against him, playfully shoving his shoulder. "I only heard him say his name, which was pretty awesome if you ask me. And…” She gave them a soft smile. "It would be nice to have a home again."

Dean gave Cas a pointed look before he leaned forward and said, “You guys can stay here until you get your own place if you’re serious.”

Cas nodded. "Yes, of course. We can show you around, and maybe help you find a job and an apartment."

Claire and Kaia exchanged a look before Claire nodded. "That's actually… thank you."

“You’re family,” Dean said with a shrug as he grabbed his glass and took a long, drawn out sip.

Cas wrapped his arms around Claire and hugged her, making her chuckle. She drew back and shot Dean a smirk. "And don't worry. We won't hog your space for too long. I don't want to watch you two being gross all day long."

Cas tilted his head in confusion, obviously not getting it.

“The husband thing,” Dean clarified.

Cas frowned, clearly even more confused than before. He shook his head and obviously decided not to ask. 

Claire pinched his cheek with a grin. "Anyway, we don't want to be super antisocial, but we drove for like eleven hours straight."

Cas stood up from the couch. "I'll prepare the bed for you two." He said with a soft smile before he walked upstairs.

Dean leaned back against the backrest with a contented sigh. “It’ll be good to have you around.”

Claire chuckled and grinned at Dean. "If this place has a mini golf place, we could have a rematch."

“Yeah, I’m game.” Dean winked at her as he took another swig of the scotch.

"Are you sure you wanna get your ass kicked again? You're not getting any younger."

“The hell do you see in her, Kaia?” Dean asked with a chuckle.

Kaia smiled lovingly at Claire, her cheeks darkening from apparent heat. “Everything.”

Dean was pretty sure he had never see Claire like that. Her smile was usually so sarcastic, but now it was genuine and soft, and she looked so damn happy. 

She cupped Kaia's cheek and leaned in for a quick kiss, murmuring, "I love you."

Kaia returned the sentiment and, for the briefest of moments, Dean was envious. Envious of what they shared. It was nice seeing so many hunters seamlessly settle down, especially when that hunter was as close to a daughter as Dean Winchester would ever get.

Cas returned in that moment, placing his hand softly on Dean's shoulder, looking at him with a knowing smile before he said, "The bed is ready, and I put clean towels in the bathroom for you two."

Kaia thanked them and stood up, holding her hand out for Claire.

Claire grabbed it, and waggled her eyebrows at Dean. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She smirked at Dean before they both told them good night and vanished up the stairs.

Cas sat down next to Dean with a chuckle. "We're really lucky." 

“I think we need to evaluate your definition of lucky,” he teased as he leaned forward to grab Cas’s glass before handing it to him.

Cas took it with a confused smile before he took a sip and replied, "Sam and Eileen will have a child. Claire and Kaia will move to our town. All our family is well, and close by. Isn't that very lucky?"

Dean chuckled and nodded. “It is.”

Cas pulled his feet onto the couch and leaned against his shoulder, giving him a shy look. "You're okay with them staying, right? I mean… because you’re giving up your room again."

“If you don’t mind me crowding you again,” Dean said with a soft laugh, enjoying the warmth from Cas’s proximity and the scotch.

Cas gave him a pointed look. "You know I don't."

Dean shrugged. “Still gotta ask. You could always change your mind.”

Cas laughed quietly and shook his head. "I don't think that I will ever change my mind on that."

Well, Dean figured Cas would never leave his side, but he made it abundantly clear that if Dean found a woman, he’d move in with Sam and Eileen. Dean gave him a half smile and finished his scotch, pouring himself another. “You never know.”

Cas gave him a long look, sliding a little closer. He looked tired, but content. "Are you okay? You look like you have something on your mind.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’m fine, Cas.” If there was anything Dean was good at, it was lying. 

Cas leaned forward and emptied his glass of scotch, putting the empty glass on the coffee table before he leaned back with a relaxed sounding sigh. "Feathers should sleep here tonight. He sings during the night." 

“Bird’s a dick,” he breathed out in a soft laugh.

"I actually like it," Cas gave him another soft smile. "When I'm alone and I fall asleep, when I have a nightmare, he wakes me up."

Dean returned the smile. “Guess you didn’t need the teddy bear.”

Cas's eyes widened before he quickly shook his head. "Oh, no, I needed it. Very much." He blushed then, and quickly looked away.

“I’m glad you like it,” he confessed.

Cas leaned back, looking up at him for a moment. "How couldn't I? It was a very thoughtful gift."

Dean shrugged. “You might’ve thought it was dumb, or a frivolous gift with no real function.”

Cas shook his head and gave him another fond smile. “You spent your time recording your voice for me… I'm sure it will help me sleep." He chuckled before he shook his head. "Help me sleep whenever you get your room back."

“Shit,” Dean breathed out with a soft laugh, “you’re right.” He shrugged and moved to lean forward, elbows pressed against his knees as he stared at his glass. “Guess we’ll be roomies for a minute.”

Cas leaned forward to grab the beer he had started to drink, but never finished, and chuckled. "Last time worked nearly without incident."

Dean chuckled, and finally grabbed his glass, drinking half of it before he leaned back against the couch with a contented sigh. “Hopefully it’ll stay that way.”

Cas put the bottle back on the table, following Dean’s motion as he leaned back, turning his head to look at him. "The way you held me worked pretty well."

“Spooning’s good for something,” he teased.

Cas gave him a shy look. “Also, I had no idea that I move around so much in my sleep."

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Woke up with you on top of me that one time.”

Cas blushed again, his body sliding closer, until his shoulder was touching Dean's. "I have no idea how that even happened."

“It was impressive.” Dean was getting a little lost in the blue of his eyes again. No matter how much he looked at them, he never got them the right shade in his fantasies.

"Maybe I dreamed about climbing a mountain," Cas replied thoughtfully, a soft smile tugging at his lips, eyes never leaving Dean's.

“Mount Deansuvius?” Dean couldn’t help but return the smile. He got lost in those damn baby blues again, so he directed his gaze downwards. To his lips. That wasn’t much better. Dean leaned forward again, bracing his glass on the table before staying there, elbows braced against his knees again.

"That sounds like a name for a dangerous volcano." Cas laughed as he leaned forward again to grab his beer.

And he couldn’t stop himself, Dean leaned over as Cas leaned forward, cupping the guy’s cheek before he dove in for a kiss.

Cas froze under his touch, inhaling sharply through his nose as his hand came up to softly push against Dean's shoulder. Even though his lips turned pliant, moving against Dean's, the hand on Dean's shoulder was speaking a different language.

Dean drew back, his heart was hammering against his chest. What the fuck did he just do? “Shit, Cas. I’m sorry.”

Cas just stared at him, lifting his hand to his lips as if he was in shock. "Why… did you do that?" 

Dean shook his head as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid.  _ “I don’t know.”

Cas slowly stood up from the couch, his expression turning from shocked to serious. "Curiosity?"

Dean shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. Maybe? And then there was the booze, and Claire’s snide comments, and then your stupid lips were just there and…” 

Cas actually glared at him then. "I would appreciate if you wouldn't do that again."

Dean nodded, looking down at the table in shame, guilt, whatever other negative emotion he could cram in. “I’m sorry, I won’t.”

Cas angrily grabbed his empty bottle and stormed into the kitchen. Dean could hear him starting to clean up.

With a sigh, Dean followed him, leaning against the doorframe as Cas started doing the dishes. “I wasn’t doing it to mess with you.”

Cas stopped his movements, but he didn’t turn around. His voice sounded seriously pissed when he finally spoke, “Do you have  _ any  _ idea what you’re doing to me? I will need weeks, maybe even months, to get this out of my mind again.” He turned around, walking right into Dean’s personal space as he glared at him. “You know about my feelings for you, and it’s a constant battle, especially since I’ve become human, to  _ not  _ think of kissing you every single day. And I don’t want to think about it. I just want to be your friend, and you pulling this, seriously isn’t helping with my inappropriate thoughts about you.”

“I told you I’m sorry,” Dean snapped back, using his height advantage to step closer, staring down at him with a pained expression, “but it wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you, or to fuck with you.”

Cas drew closer, his eyes never leaving Dean's as he walked him back against the doorframe. "What did you want then?" he growled.

“I wanted to kiss you, goddamnit!”

Cas stared at him for another long moment before he suddenly rushed forward, and kissed him. 

Dean gasped and instantly growled into the kiss, nipping at Cas’s bottom lip before he dove in tongue first, fingers tangling into Cas’s hair as he yanked him impossibly close.

Cas's breathing hitched before he moaned into his mouth, one hand gripping Dean's shirt, the other wrapped around Dean's body to hold him close as he succumbed to the kiss, his tongue sliding against Dean's, playfully and curiously exploring his mouth.

It was nothing like kissing a woman. Where a woman was soft and careful, Cas was hard and bold. Dean kind of liked the way his stubble came against his own, a give and take scratchiness that made his head spin with satisfaction. 

As though he had no control over his body, Dean walked Cas back against the counter, lifting him onto it while never breaking the kiss.

Cas gasped against his lips, wrapping his legs around him as he deepened the kiss in a way that made Dean understand why Meg looked like that all of those years ago.

Dean groaned into the kiss, the heat of it coursing through his central nervous system, and straight to his dick. He practically growled as he lost more air in an effort to lose himself in that damn kiss.

Cas's hand braced against Dean’s chest and slid up to cup his cheek before slipping to the back of his neck, fingers softly caressing the skin there. The touch in stark contrast to the nearly desperate way Cas was kissing him. 

Finally giving in to his need to breathe, Dean barely drew back, forehead braced against Cas’s as he tried to catch his breath.

Cas was breathing hard, fingers sliding to his face before he pressed his thumb against Dean's lips with a heated look. "Dean," he breathed out.

“You’re one helluva kisser,” he murmured as he tightened his grip on Cas’s hips.

Cas's expression turned shy. "Good enough to do it again?"

Instead of answering, Dean tilted his head as he closed the distance between them. This time, with a marginally less air of desperation, they collided head on with their unspoken need.

Cas’s lips turned pliant, and it felt like he was melting in Dean's arms, moaning into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders to hold him close. 

Dean wanted more and that thought terrified him. But it didn’t stop him from lifting Cas into his arms, secure with a firm handful of the guy’s rock hard ass as he carried him out of the kitchen and towards the couch. He dropped himself on the couch, Cas still in his arms, basically straddling him now. The new position caused Cas’s ass to grind against Dean’s trapped erection, and Dean couldn’t contain the deep, guttural moan. “Fuck,” he hissed.

Cas pulled away, breathing heavily as he gave him a worried look. “Are you okay?” he breathed out, burying his fingers in Dean’s hair.

“Yeah,” Dean murmured, “just a little overwhelming.”

“Maybe… could we slow down?” Cas asked quietly, still breathing very fast.

Dean nodded, swallowing dryly. He was so conflicted in that moment, desperately trying to keep the panic at bay. “Yeah, uh… maybe that’s a good idea.”

Cas slid off of Dean’s lap and next to him on the couch. He seemed relieved. “Thank you,” he murmured, gaze focused on his own lap.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what to do with his hands. “Yeah, of course.”

The air between them seemed pretty awkward, and Dean could see how tense Cas was, almost afraid, before he carefully said, “I'm, um, tired. I should, um… do you want to sleep?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Do you… would you prefer I crash on the couch?”

“Why?” Cas asked in genuine surprise as he got up and held out his hand for Dean to take. 

“I’m… I don’t know where we stand right now,” he admitted as he took Cas’s hand.

Cas pulled him up, but didn't let go of his hand, giving him a serious look. “You said we’ll stay best friends, no matter what. So that's where we’re standing.”

Dean nodded, unable to take his eyes off of their joined hands. “Good.”

Cas followed his gaze down to their hands. “Does this still bother you?” It wasn't an accusation, he sounded… worried.

“No… I honestly don’t know how I feel right now,” he confessed.

Cas squeezed his hand and nodded, pulling him after himself to his room, softly murmuring, “Yeah, me too.”

Dean halted Cas’s movement and cupped his cheek with his free hand. “I’m kinda scared shitless,” he admitted with a soft laugh.

Cas leaned into his hand, closing his eyes for a moment before he gave Dean a sympathetic smile. “Does it make you feel better if I tell you I feel the same? Probably not for the same reasons though.”

Dean gave him a half smile, his hand slightly trembling. “I don’t think I’m ready to try sex yet.”

Cas’s eyes widened, and he gave him a shocked look. “Me neither, Dean. I'm so far from ready for something like that.”

Dean let out a relieved sigh. He gave him another smile. “But I… I liked what we did.”

Cas returned it and nodded. “Me, too. That felt very… exciting.”

“One way of putting it,” he said as he adjusted his still awake hard on.

Cas’s gaze followed his hand movement and he blushed furiously as soon as he caught on to what Dean was doing. He turned away, biting his lower lip as he tugged at Dean’s hand, pulling him into his room. When he closed the door behind them, Cas leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I'm going to take Feathers downstairs and change in the bathroom.”

Dean nodded a little dumbly as he watched Cas grab Feathers’ cage and leave the room. He looked around for a moment, trying to process everything that happened in such a short span of time. The freaked out part of Dean was screaming, “you’re not gay!” But the logical part of him knew he had to be at least a little gay, considering making out with Cas left him anything but unaffected. 

He sat on the bed to remove his socks and the rest of his clothes. When they shared a bed together, Dean usually wore a T-shirt with his boxers, but he decided to be a little brave. Because if they were going to do this, Dean needed to try and get over any issues he was going to have with nudity.

When Cas came back he was in his dark blue, plaid pj's, that were fleece lined for winter. The top almost looked like a long sleeved, button up shirt, the guy never escaping his suit look. 

Where Dean was trying to be brave, Cas had decided to wear pajamas that covered as much skin as possible. His eyes wandered over Dean’s chest and he could hear the way Cas’s breathing hitched before he climbed onto his side of the bed, turning on his side to face Dean with a soft smile. “Feathers wasn’t amused when I put him in the living room. He said, ‘son of a bitch’.”

Dean barked out a laugh and turned on his side to face Cas in kind. “I’m gonna give him a treat in the morning for that.”

Cas slid closer, his fingers touching Dean’s face, his thumb rubbing over his lips. “Can I kiss you again?” he asked quietly, the insecurity prominent in his tone.

Dean nodded, pressing a kiss to his thumb as he drew closer. “Yeah,” he breathed out as he focused his gaze on the nervous way Cas licked his lips.

Cas leaned closer, closing his eyes before Dean could feel soft lips ghosting over his own, featherlight touches that left his lips tingling. Cas grew braver and carefully licked into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Dean sighed into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Cas’s hair to draw him closer as he got lost in the intensity of it all. He didn’t know if it was acting on repressed urges for years, or if it was just because it was Cas – his best friend, the man he saw his future with – but Dean couldn’t get enough. It was like this moment was the wind in his sails, guiding him toward a beautiful horizon.

Cas moaned into the kiss, one of his hands leaving Dean’s shoulder to slide down to his chest, his fingertips grazing his left nipple.

Dean gasped, which quickly became a groan as pleasure coursed through him. He desperately wanted to know what Cas’s skin felt like. “Cas… can I touch you too?”

Cas pulled back with an almost insecure expression before he nodded slowly, breathing out a broken, “Y – yeah.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want me to,” he assured as he cupped Cas’s cheek.

Cas was breathing quicker now as he shook his head. “No, I want to… I'm just… nervous.” His hands wandered to his first button, undoing it with shaky hands.

Dean stilled his hands with his own. “Can I?”

“Yeah,” Cas breathed out, sounding grateful.

Dean swallowed dryly as his fingers slowly unbuttoned Cas’s pajama top. As more and more skin was revealed, Dean couldn’t help but lick his lips. He’d never allowed himself to feel attraction to a man before, and he felt a little in over his head. When the last button was opened, Dean gently slid his hands over Cas’s shoulders, pushing the fabric off.

He shook his head in awe. “You’re still so tan,” he murmured.

“A month ago I still sometimes worked shirtless in the garden when you were at work,” he whispered, not looking up at Dean.

“I’m not complaining,” he said softly as he carefully brought his right hand down Cas’s shoulder and to his chest. “At all.”

Cas was breathing a lot faster now, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment, and Dean could feel the goosebumps on his skin. “Dean,” he breathed out, biting his lower lip. Dean found out in that moment that Cas’s blush didn’t just affect his cheeks, but also parts of his chest.

“Beautiful,” he breathed out, not actually meaning to say it out loud.

Cas leaned closer for another soft kiss. A kiss that quickly turned into several before eventually turning needy as Cas deepened it with his tongue.

Dean groaned into the kiss, one hand in Cas’s hair while the other slid down to grip a now bare hip. It was crazy how addictive making out with Cas was. He couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed kissing so much.

Cas gasped before he leaned back breathlessly, a quiet whimper falling from lips. “Dean, we need to stop.”

Dean drew back, unable to hide the concern in his voice, “Did I hurt you?”

Cas shook his head, looking pretty embarrassed as he avoided Dean’s gaze. “It’s just getting to be too much for me. It’s too overwhelming. I think… I need a cold shower.”

Dean chuckled and cupped his face. “Just think of something unsexy and we can just spoon.”

Cas gave him a thoughtful look before it turned into a despaired one. “It's not working. You’re occupying every thought.”

“Hey,” he said with a soft laugh, “it’s okay. And if you’d really rather get out of bed to take a cold shower, I won’t stop you.”

Cas scrunched up his nose and shook his head before he turned around and slid backwards, his ass flush against Dean’s erection. “I don’t want to leave the bed,” Cas stated quietly.

Dean wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. “Then stay.”

Cas moaned quietly, his hip softly rocking backwards. He hummed, “This feels so good.”

It really fucking did, Dean had to keep himself in check to stop himself from rutting against Cas. He started peppering his neck and shoulder with kisses as he hummed. 

Cas seemed to really enjoy it. Dean had never met anyone so sensitive in the shoulder and neck area. Cas writhed in his arms, making the most beautiful noises as his ass kept rocking against his erection.

“Fuck, Cas, maybe we should both take a cold shower,” he murmured.

Cas turned around in his arms and drew him into a desperate kiss before he leaned back, breathing heavily. "You think?"

Dean cupped his cheek and got a little lost in the beatific features of a former angel who had irretrievably changed his life, and usually for the better. “Maybe. You’re kinda driving me crazy,” he purred as he dove in for another kiss.

Cas gasped into the kiss, his hands tentatively sliding over Dean's chest before he pulled back with a questioning look. "I'm sorry… I don't know what I should do."

“I don’t either,” he breathed out. Maybe they were both too turned on to make those kinds of choices and decisions. “Maybe we should try to sleep?” It was the only plan he had at that point.

Cas looked relieved with the suggestion and gave him a soft smile. "Yes. Sleep sounds good." He pressed a quick kiss to Dean's lips before he turned around in his arms again, pulling Dean's arm around him. "Good night, Dean. Sleep well."

Dean smiled as he pressed another kiss to the nape of his neck. “Night, angel.”

Cas gasped, his hips rocking back again. "Dean," Cas breathed out, "kissing me there is  _ not  _ helping me think of sleeping."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and the urge to kiss him there again was overwhelming. He gently slid the pad of his thumb along the back of Cas’s neck. “Is this an erogenous zone?”

The reaction was instantaneous. Cas groaned and arched back against Dean. "Yeah," he almost purred.

Dean chuckled and murmured, “Good to know.”

Cas turned to look over his shoulder with a soft smile. "Why do I get the feeling you want to use this knowledge against me?"

Dean couldn’t help but return the smile as he leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Because I plan to. When you’re ready.”

Cas gave him a long look and he could see the insecurity again, he clearly was debating something before he shook his head, and flashed Dean another smile. "Sleep well."

“You okay?” he asked, gently sliding his thumb over Cas’s jawline.

Cas's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and he nodded. "Yes… just… I never expected this to happen."

Dean’s lips curled up into a curious half smile. “What?”

"That you would kiss me… I thought… I thought just thinking about it was ridiculous," Cas explained.

Dean gave him a small shrug. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like I’ve  _ never _ thought about it, but I’m not sure why I acted on it this time.”

"You won't regret this tomorrow, will you?" Cas asked carefully.

“I don’t think I will,” he answered as honestly as he could.

Cas let out an audible sigh and nodded, smile turning almost shy before he turned around. "I should let you sleep."

Dean pulled him closer. “You need sleep too.”

"I will," Cas replied, "you're here with me. Everything is perfect."

With a soft chuckle, and just because he  _ could,  _ Dean pressed another kiss to Cas’s neck. “See you in the morning.”

He wasn't disappointed when Cas let out another gasp, pressing closer to Dean. He couldn’t wait until he really got to explore just how sensitive Cas was in that area. 

Cas hummed and gently stroked over Dean's arm, the one braced against Cas’s chest. "Yeah. I’ll make you a cherry pie tomorrow," he murmured tiredly.

“I’m the luckiest motherfucker on this planet,” he groaned appreciatively against Cas’s shoulder.

And the thing was, he really meant it.


	5. Chapter 5

Cas woke up from the alarm on his phone, and groaned as he reached over to make it stop. Waking up was still not his favorite thing in the morning. At least he didn't have any nightmares. 

In that moment, all the reasons why he had slept so well rushed back into his mind. Dean still had his arms around him, and for a change Cas had woken up in the exact same position as he had fallen asleep.

He turned around in Dean’s arms, looking at his beautiful, freckled face and the peaceful expression he had in sleep. He still couldn’t believe that they had kissed. His own bare chest reminding him that it  _ hadn’t  _ been a dream. It really happened. 

They had kissed a lot. And Dean instigated a lot of the kisses. He had touched Cas in a very non-platonic way. It still seemed too good to be true, and he was only waiting for the rude awakening.

Probably in the form of Dean deciding that he had just been curious, but this wasn’t what he wanted because he liked women. A part of him didn’t care if it was just curiosity on Dean’s part. He had gotten to feel how this could be… and he should be thankful for it, because it was so much more than he thought could happen between them.

The other part was scared, and didn’t want to take this any further, afraid of doing something wrong and losing Dean forever. Afraid of the feelings that seemed so overwhelming, feelings he feared he would lose control of and end up swept away by them. When he had been possessed by Lucifer, he had felt the uncontrolled rage and jealousy of an angel who was unhinged because of emotions. Being emotionally compromised was always scary. It meant he would be susceptible. Being in control was what made him strong. When Lucifer had possessed him, he had no control over his body. When Naomi brainwashed him, he also had no control. He was merely a bystander to everything they made him do. And just because he couldn’t stop them, didn’t mean he couldn’t feel everything that was done by his hand. How he had hurt Dean… and what Lucifer made him do when he was having “fun”.

He shook his head. Dean didn’t know that he was still struggling with this, and as long as Dean wanted to take things slow, it would buy him time to get a grip on his fears.

“I love you,” he murmured quietly, careful not to wake Dean as he leaned over to kiss his forehead before he tried to get out of Dean’s embrace without waking him.

It didn’t work.

Dean growled and pulled him closer.

Cas laughed and kissed Dean's throat before he trailed soft kisses down to Dean's shoulders. His skin was so warm and inviting. He didn't even want to leave the bed anymore.

Dean made some sort of humming noise and murmured a barely intelligible, “Mornin’, sunshine.”

Cas practically beamed at that. He loved when Dean called him sunshine. "Good morning, Dean," he replied softly before he let his lips wander down to Dean's chest, licking over the rather hard nipple when he reached it. Dean appeared to enjoy being touched there yesterday. And he wanted Dean to like what they were doing.

Dean gasped and groaned. “Fuck, Cas.”

Cas did it again before he looked up at Dean with parted lips.

Dean shook his head in amazement as he sat up slightly to draw him in for a kiss. He hummed against Cas’s lips before he deepened the kiss.

Cas felt himself melting into it, and he knew now that getting out of bed wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Not when Dean was kissing him like that. 

But when his erection was suddenly pressed against Dean's leg, he quickly drew back from the shock. "I… I should get up."

“Cas,” Dean murmured softly, “we can slow it down. You don’t have to run away.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate how easily you would make me want more."

Dean chuckled and sat upright, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “It’s okay, but you keep trying to run off, I’m gonna start takin’ it personal.”

Cas’s eyes widened in shock. He didn’t want to give Dean that impression. "I thought…” He blushed and looked down at the bed. "You know that I have feelings for you."

Dean laughed softly and cupped his cheek. “I know, Cas. I was just teasin’ you.”

“So… are you really okay with… taking this slow?” he asked carefully.

Dean gave him a sweet smile as he nodded. “Yeah, I mean… we’re both new to this. So I’ll go as slow as you need me to go.”

Cas was incredibly relieved hearing that, and he hoped Dean would be patient with him. “Thank you, Dean.” He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Dean’s lips before he realized that he may have given Dean the wrong impression. When he leaned back, he gave Dean a serious look. “Believe me, I’m not holding back because… I’m not interested. It’s just…” It was hard to find the right word. “Scary.”

Dean chuckled. “I get that, too.”

Cas bit his lower lip, shyly looking up at Dean. “Why are you scared?”

“Because…” Dean sighed and his expression turned quite serious. “When we take that step, that means this is real. That… that the thoughts and feelings I’ve been repressing for years have always been a part of who I am.”

Cas swallowed dryly, afraid to ask the next question, but he needed to know, “Would that be so bad? If this was real… if you could be who you are?”

Dean cupped his cheek and looked over his face. “Maybe not.”

Cas gave him a long, searching look before he slowly slid closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. When he leaned back, he looked down at his lap. “Whatever you decide, I'm always going to be your best friend. I'm always going to be here for you as long as you need me.”

“That goes both ways, Cas,” he murmured before he tilted Cas’s chin up and pressed another kiss to his lips.

Cas couldn’t get enough of feeling Dean’s lips against his own. He melted into the kiss, and instantly deepened it as he pulled Dean over him, onto the bed again. It wasn’t like he needed to be anywhere this weekend, except for his usual chores, and making breakfast for all of them. Claire and Kaia probably weren't even awake yet. He was sure he could indulge a few more minutes of feeling Dean’s tongue exploring his mouth.

Dean chuckled into the kiss. “Damn, I love the way you kiss.”

Cas gave him a confused smile. “I wasn’t aware that I kissed a certain way.”

“Yeah, you could sell your kisses, you’re that good,” he breathed out before he kissed him again.

Cas buried his fingers into Dean’s hair to pull him closer, deepening the kiss for a moment before he breathlessly replied, “You’re the only person I want to kiss.”

Dean smiled and growled a soft, “Good,” before he drew him in for another, more possessive kiss.

Cas felt his body become pliant under Dean’s, he spread his legs so Dean could lie comfortably on top of him, gasping when his erection made contact with Dean’s abdomen. His body reacted instinctively before he could stop it, rocking up to get more friction.

Dean groaned into the kiss, his body moving in kind with Cas’s, a gentle rocking motion in which he could feel just how affected Dean was by their activity, against his inner thigh.

Cas was incredibly conflicted. He was excited and really wanted this to go further, but at the same time it frightened him. He had no experience with anything close to what was transpiring. What if Dean didn’t like it? What if he only had one chance at getting it right, and messed up because of his insecurities? 

He leaned back, pulling away from Dean, not looking at him. “We really need to stop. I… I need to get up and… make breakfast.”

“Okay,” he breathed out, voice a little husky. “Want some help?”

Cas gave him a shy smile before he explained, “Yeah, but, um… I need a shower first. A really cold one.”

Dean returned the smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You shower. I’ll make coffee.”

Cas gave him a shy nod before he practically fled to the bathroom, quickly starting the shower. The cold water instantly doused his arousal as he groaned in discomfort when the freezing water hit him. He turned it a little warmer to wash his hair and his body quickly, rushing through the rest of his morning routine so he could quickly be at Dean’s side again. 

He pulled on a pair of jeans and his favorite shirt, that he had borrowed from Dean and had no intention on giving back unless Dean said something, before he made his way down the steps to the kitchen. 

He stopped on the second to last step when he caught Dean in the living room, talking to Feathers.

“I was trying to give you a treat, stop being a bitch,” he argued with the bird.

“Stop being a bitch,” Feathers parroted back.

Dean sighed. “There’s gotta be a better person to mimic. Do Cas.”

“Do Cas, do Cas,” Feathers repeated. 

Dean groaned in frustration and turned around, instantly looking sheepish at having been caught when they made eye contact. “Uh, hey.”

Cas chuckled and walked up to Dean with a soft smile. “Are you trying to teach him new words?”

“No, I was trying to give him a treat, but he’s still pissed we moved him out here I guess, ‘cause he refused it then started mimicking everything I said. Punk bitch.”

“Punk bitch!”

“Dude!” Dean whipped around and stared at the bird incredulously.

Cas reached over and pet Feathers’ neck before he took the treat from Dean’s hand and fed it to the bird. Feathers took it before he started to make the most beautiful singing noises, until the song turned into something that almost sounded like a cat purring. 

“I don’t think he is that angry,” Cas murmured with a smile before he leaned over to kiss Dean’s cheek.

“Do Cas, do Cas!” Feathers cried out.

“Shut up, or we’re eating you for breakfast,” Dean called back.

"Du-u-u-u-ude!" Feathers hopped up and down before he tilted his head, looking at Dean. "Do Cas!"

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not like he knows what he is saying. He just imitates what he hears."

Dean narrowed his eyes at the bird before he grabbed Cas by the wrist and dragged him to the kitchen. “I’m starting to think he’s mocking me, not mimicking.”

"Why?" Cas was pretty sure Feathers just liked Dean's voice and imitated it. “It’s not like his words make a lot of sense without context.”

“Still,” Dean said in an almost petulant tone.

Cas leaned over to kiss his cheek. "He just likes your voice; that's why he mimics you. I can understand that."

Dean sighed. “You have a much sexier voice though.”

Cas couldn't help but blush as he walked past Dean to step fully into the kitchen, starting the preparations for breakfast. "Maybe it's because you tried to intimidate him. He's learning from you so he can be stronger out there, to shoo away other birds."

“So, I’m the alpha magpie?” Dean asked with a cheeky grin.

"Yes," Cas replied with a smile, as he grabbed the ingredients to make pancakes.

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist from behind. “I don’t sing as pretty as Feathers, though,” he murmured, his breath hot against the skin behind his ear.

Cas gasped and leaned into Dean's embrace, shivering from the goosebumps trailing over his skin from Dean’s proximity. He hummed, looking over his shoulder. "I love your voice, though."

“No accounting for taste,” he breathed against the nape of his neck with a soft chuckle.

Cas was embarrassed by the whimper that fell from his lips. “I don’t care,” he mumbled, closing his eyes again as he practically melted against Dean.

He could feel Dean’s lips ghosting over his neck as he said, “That’s sweet, Cas.”

"Dean," he breathed out. He couldn't help but rock his backside against Dean's crotch. Dean was making him crazy. His neck was his most sensitive spot.

“I love the way you say my name; always wanted to tell you that,” he whispered, lips still barely grazing his skin.

Cas's breathing hitched and he closed his eyes. "Why?" he asked breathlessly, feeling needy for more.

“‘Cause you say it like it’s the most important word in your ridiculously huge vocabulary.”

"It's because you are the most important human in the world to me," Cas replied breathlessly.

Dean gripped his hips to turn him around, now face to face. He gently cupped Cas’s cheek. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

"Of course," Cas answered without an ounce of hesitation, before getting lost in Dean's beautiful green eyes. 

Dean just smiled, shaking his head in apparent amazement as he focused on Cas’s lips.

Cas darted out his tongue, wetting his too dry lips, hoping Dean would kiss him again.

As Dean slowly started to close the gap between them, they were interrupted by a mid-yawn sounding,

“Mornin’.”

And suddenly Dean was at least three feet away from him, going straight for the coffee pot. “Hey, Claire.”

Cas stared at Dean in confusion before he realized what had happened. Dean didn't want Claire to know that their relationship had shifted. Maybe he was embarrassed by it? That was likely if the way he wasn't even  _ looking  _ at Cas was anything to go by. Cas wasn't sure why his heart hurt all of a sudden. He rubbed his hand over his chest with a frown before he gave Claire a quick nod. 

"Good morning, Claire. Are you hungry? I'm making pancakes," he said quietly, before he turned to the stove and poured the batter into the pan.

She folded her arms over her chest and quirked her brow. “Are you two seriously gonna act like I  _ didn’t  _ just walk in on you reenacting every cheesy chick-flick ever?”

Dean cleared his throat and started pouring coffee into all of the cups. “Yup.”

Claire glared at Dean, and turned to Cas. “The hell did I just see?”

Cas looked down at the pan, trying to focus on making breakfast. "Obviously nothing," he replied, trying to suppress the onslaught of negative emotions following the sentence. The strongest being hurt… and anger. Not at Dean, but at himself, for allowing himself to hope, even for a moment, that Dean could actually feel the same for him.  _ Pathetic.  _

It was Lucifer's voice. He had known about his feelings for Dean from the moment he possessed him. He was disgusted by Cas, calling him pathetic for being hung up on a human. Especially one who would never love him back.

“Well, I think it’s a shitty thing to do, messing with Cas’s emotions like that. What? Is that why we’re getting pancakes? Manipulating him into getting what you want?”

Dean threw one of the mugs across the room, causing it to shatter. “That’s  _ not  _ what’s happening here,” he spat before he stormed out of the kitchen.

“Go ahead, run away!” Claire immediately approached Cas, gently grasping his wrist. “Are you okay?”

He bit his lower lip, and shook his head before he grabbed the dustpan and brush from under the sink to clean up the shards of the mug. A mug he and Dean had bought together when they first moved here. He sank to his knees and leaned against the counter. "I made a terrible mistake."

Claire kneeled beside him, helping him by picking up the shards. “What happened?”

"I kissed him… we kissed a lot, and I thought… for a moment I thought–" He shook his head and frowned, his throat tightening up. "I'm so stupid." 

“No, you aren’t. Not if he kissed you back. So that wasn’t…” she looked in the direction Dean had left. “He kissed you a lot?”

"Yes. Yesterday night. And this morning," Cas replied quietly, feeling numb. "I should have stopped it. And now my selfishness has made everything worse. He was probably just curious, and I… I don't want to pressure him. I… I don't want to lose him because of this." 

Claire cupped his face, giving him an understanding smile. “I know what’s going on here. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Cas looked up at her before he nodded. "Alright." He tried to pull himself together as he watched her leave. Pancakes.  _ Breakfast. _

He needed to focus on the task at hand. He was sure they could talk this out… but maybe if they didn’t talk about it, forgot that it even happened between them, they could leave this chapter behind and continue down on the road of just being friends. The safe road.

The only problem now was… Cas now knew how his personal Heaven looked. And it would be painfully hard to forget.

Dean reached the garage and kicked the side of it. “Fuck!” He ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing, contemplating whether or not he should hop in Baby and drive for a while. Clear his head.

Claire walking in on them had freaked Dean out, no doubt about it, but what was fucking him up was the fact he was terrified that maybe that’s all he was doing. Taking advantage of Cas’s emotions by experimenting. 

He didn’t want to be  _ that  _ guy; he wanted what was happening between them to be real, so bad. But the thought of what that meant, not only for their future, but because his entire belief structure regarding who he was as a person was teetering on the balance. 

Dean sighed and turned his back to the wall, sliding to a hunched, squatting position.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

“Dean,” Claire quietly called out before she was suddenly kneeling next to him. “I'm not sorry I yelled at you for being shitty to Cas, but I get that you didn’t do it to take advantage of him.”

Dean scoffed. “Goodie.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Stop being an ass. You’re freaked out ‘cause he’s a guy and this is real. Because suddenly you’ve started questioning everything about who you are.”

Dean let out a derisive snort. “Come up with that by yourself, Dr. Katz?”

“I'm getting paid by the hour.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Do you think it was easy for me to accept that my feelings for Kaia were more than just friendship? A lot more. I mean, I didn’t smash coffee mugs, but I do wish I had gotten my head out of my ass earlier. Instead of making things difficult for us.”

So this was happening, he was going to be lectured by  _ My So-Called Life.  _ Dean chuckled and shook his head. “No offense, kid, but I don’t think you really get what’s going on up here,” he said as he tapped his forehead.

“No offense,” Claire mocked his tone, “but I don't think you know what's going on up there either.” She gave him a stern look. “And I'm trying to help you figure it out, because I don't want Cas to get hurt. He is the closest thing I have left of my family.”

Dean sighed. He had to give her that. “I get it. I don’t want Cas to get hurt anymore than you do.”

“You have the potential of making him really happy. I bet that scares the crap out of you.”

“That’s only scratching the surface,” he said with a resigned sigh.

She nodded, and folded her hands before she looked at him. “I grew up with all this religious crap. Not that my Dad was a homophobe, but we went to church every Sunday when I was little, and I remember how people talked about things. And considering the way I grew up after… I didn’t really care about religion anymore… So, I had it all figured out, right? And sometimes I thought a girl looked sexy. That was totally normal, right? Everyone does that, picturing touching her boobs… Stuff like that. And I  _ knew  _ I liked some guys. So following the path that people expected, or would have, of me was easier. But then my… hell, everything, got flipped upside down when I met Kaia. And now none of that crap matters anymore. It all comes down to one question, Dean.” She gave him a long look. “Is  _ he  _ worth the risk?”

Dean thought back in that moment, of every shared moment, every hug, every single honest and real moment between him and Cas since the day he saved him from Hell. After a beat of silence, when the realization dawned on him, when Cas’s smile started outshining his father’s expectations… he breathed out a surprised, “Yes. Yes he is.”

Claire smiled at him and nodded. “Then don't hold back, and  _ show  _ him.” She grinned and added, “Like really show him. He's so, super bad with hints.”

Dean let out a mirthless laugh. “Pretty sure I’m the last person he wants to see after that display.”

“Woman up and apologize,” Claire suggested before she added, “don’t leave him thinking he was just an experiment for you. He’s afraid that he’s going to lose you over this.”

“Shit,” Dean murmured as he ran his hand through his hair. He moved to stand and held his hand out to help Claire up. “Woman up?” he clarified in a soft laugh.

She raised a challenging eyebrow at him. “Yeah, you know, ‘cause women are stronger, tougher, and smarter than guys. So that's totally the phrase.” She nodded to the door. “I’ll go upstairs and wake Kaia for breakfast. Since she isn't a morning person, you have roughly thirty uninterrupted minutes with Cas before we come down. Make them count.”

“Yes, Mom,” he said with an eye roll. Before she left, he halted her at the wrist. “Thanks, kid.”

Claire gave him a smile that, for once, didn’t look smug or sarcastic. “Would be cool if we all could go mini golfing together. Like a family.” And suddenly Dean could see that there was still the little girl inside of Claire. The little girl who had lost too much way too early. The girl who just wanted a piece of normalcy.

“Not until you’ve watched  _ Caddyshack,” _ he chastised in his best Dad voice.

“Have you made Cas watch it?” she asked with a grin when they started to walk back.

Dean quirked his brow at her. “You know damn well I have.”

“Okay, okay, I'll watch it, Dad.” She stuck out her tongue before she darted up the stairs as soon as they were inside.

Dean stared after her retreating form sort of dumbfounded. The warmth that filled his chest at the casual way she called him Dad. Fuck, he really wished he hadn’t fucked up with Cas so hard because all he wanted was to run into the kitchen and share it with him.

He did go to the kitchen, because Claire was right. He needed to make it up to him, and make him see Dean might be scared, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t go for it. Hell, he couldn’t count how many times he went into a job scared shitless.

Cas was using his Kitchenaid mixer to stir the batter, and Dean stepped a little closer. 

“Cas?”

Cas stopped what he was doing and turned around with wide eyes. “Dean,” he breathed out, before he looked behind him. “Where’s Claire?”

“She went to get Kaia,” he started as he stepped closer. With a sigh he gave Cas an imploring look. “I’m so fucking sorry for earlier.”

Cas looked down and shook his head. “No, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed things… you told me pretty clearly where you stood and… the last thing I want is to make you feel pressured in any way. This is hardly your fault. I overreacted.”

Dean closed the distance between them and cupped his cheek. “Don’t. Don’t do that, Cas. I freaked, okay? It’s… no part of how I reacted was because of you. I… I've got some shit to work through, but I’m hoping… I’m hoping you can bear with me. I’m… I’m not perfect.”

Cas leaned away from Dean’s hand. “I think it might be safer if we don’t go there anymore. Maybe we should just stay friends. If you have problems with this you have to work through, then I don't want this. I don't want you to change because of me.”

He’d be lying if that didn’t feel like a kick to the gut. Dean sighed and nodded as he retracted his hand and took a step back. “I understand. But, uh… you’ve already changed me, Cas.”

Cas bit his lower lip before he looked up at Dean. “I don’t want to lose you, Dean. It would be selfish of me to keep wanting to pursue this.”

“Same here. So I guess we’re both in the same boat.” Dean sighed and forced his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch him. “So what are we gonna do?”

Cas looked at the ceiling before he took in a deep breath. “Do you really believe I could say no to you?”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t want you giving in because you think that’s what I’m expecting. I want you to give in because you want to take the risk that I’ll hurt you, just like I’m willing to take that risk.”

“Is the only risk that you might hurt me, or could I lose you?” Cas asked after a long moment. 

“You’ll never lose me, Cas. I mean, other than death. You’re a Winchester. We stick by each other no matter what,” he said, wanting nothing more than to hold him in that moment.

Cas gave him a soft nod before he breathed out, "Okay, if you want to try this… then I'm willing to take that risk too."

Dean took a tentative step forward. “I can’t promise what happened this morning will never happen again, but… you’re more important than my hangups, so I’m gonna try.”

Cas looked down. "You don't have to touch me when other people are around, Dean... if you think it's wrong what we're doing, or if it's something embarrassing."

“I mean… it’s not like we didn’t do it when we were pretending; I don’t know why it being real made a difference. I’ve got years of…” Dean sighed, cursing his own bullshit thoughts, wishing he could just turn it off. “I like touching you.”

"I still don't understand why you acted like this is something bad when Claire came in. She is happy for us."

How the hell could he explain it to Cas? Dean barely understood it himself. “I know that. And I know she wouldn’t care about the gay part of it. But it still freaked me out.”

Dean moved to lean against the counter. “How much of my past do you know about? From the files or whatever Heaven had on me?”

Cas gave him a long look before he answered, "Only the cliff notes. Son of Mary and John Winchester, born January the twenty-fourth in 1979 in Lawrence, Kansas. Went to Hell because of a demon deal to save his brother's life. The Righteous Man, destined to save the world." Cas gave him a soft smile. "Angels aren't omniscient."

Dean returned with a half smile. “Not even Sammy knows, but Dad walked in on me when I was thirteen, kissing the only friend I made at that school. Darren. It, uh… it wasn’t pretty.”

Cas tilted his head thoughtfully before he seemed to get it. "Oh, so your father had a problem with you kissing this…” Cas growled slightly, "Darren."

“Yeah, that’s when he decided that nine was an acceptable age for Sammy to be on his own and started taking me out on hunts. To keep me in check.” Dean remembered when his Dad caught him with Rhonda when he was nineteen. After that he let Dean go on his first solo hunt.

Sometimes the words didn’t even need to be said.

"So, you are conflicted because your father made you think it was wrong to be interested in another man. And that's why you have trouble accepting your true nature," Cas summarized slowly.

Dean nodded. “Pretty much.”

"You know a lot of humans think this is wrong, but it isn't. Like I told Claire last night, my father created humans this way." Cas took in a deep breath. "But it doesn't matter. The important part is what you believe. Do you think this is something you can accept in the future?"

“I want it to be,” he answered as honestly as he could.

"That's a good start." Cas gave him a reassuring smile before he reached over to take Dean's hand in his and squeezed it.

Dean smiled and drew their joined hands to his lips, and pressed a kiss to Cas’s knuckles. “If my hang ups are ever too much for you, I won’t be mad if you choose to end things.”

"I'm feeling hopeful that you will overcome them in time. Maybe you just need to get used to me."

“I’m already used to you, Cas,” he said with a soft chuckle as he squeezed their still joined hands.

Cas slowly stepped closer, right in his personal space as he looked at him with parted lips. “Would you kiss me again?”

Dean used his free hand to gently tuck Cas’s hair behind his ear. “You sure?”

Cas nodded slowly, murmuring, “Please.”

Dean smiled and closed the distance between them, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Not deepening it, more seeking permission.

Cas's breathing hitched as he chased Dean’s lips, trying to deepen the kiss, his tongue hesitantly seeking entrance.

And he granted it, allowing Cas in, in more ways than one.

Cas let out a quiet groan as he licked over Dean's tongue, softly pressing himself closer to Dean's body, as he wrapped his arms around him, his fingers gently grabbing Dean's shirt to hold onto him.

Dean hummed as he tightened his grip on Cas’s waist, trying to get impossibly close. He flipped them around and lifted Cas onto the counter, spotting himself between Cas’s legs as he got lost in sensation, touch, in learning a new aspect of his best friend.

Cas chuckled as he pulled back, just a few inches. "I noticed you really like doing that. Lifting me onto furniture."

Dean smiled. “If it bugs you, I can stop?”

Cas gave him a shy look. "I think I... I like when you do that. It makes my heart beat faster."

“Mine too,” he murmured as he leaned in for another kiss.

Cas wrapped his arms around him again, one hand on the back of Dean's head, his fingers toying with his hair as he deepened the kiss. He used his spread legs to cross them behind Dean, pulling him closer. "Dean," he groaned against Dean's lips.

Dean returned a groan of his own as his erection was now pressed against Cas’s inner thigh. “Fuck,” he breathed out.

Cas let out a small mewl before he bit his lower lip and looked at Dean, breathing heavy, his cheeks flushed. "Do you want to stop?" He asked breathlessly.

“Not really, but I know you want to take things slow,” he murmured, trying to get his breathing in check.

Cas gave him a surprised look. "I thought you wanted to take things slow too?"

Dean nodded. “I do, but you, uh… you’re not making it easy.” 

"Oh." Cas leaned back from him, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

Dean cupped his cheek and smiled at him. “I think it’s a good thing.”

Cas gave him a quick smile before he slid from the counter. "I... I should really make breakfast now. I'm sure Claire and Kaia will be down here soon."

“Still want me to help?”

"You're actually very distracting," Cas replied dryly before he playfully walked him out of the kitchen. "I'm banning you from the kitchen."

“But…” Dean started as he turned around, giving Cas a pleading smile. “I’ll be good?”

Cas squinted his eyes at him, hesitating. “You will?”

Dean drew an invisible X over his heart. “Cross my heart.”

“Alright then… I guess you can help me. Although I don’t need much help. Just putting plates on the table and I have to make the pancakes.” He replied before he turned around and walked to the stove again.

Dean grabbed him by the wrist and turned him back, cupping his cheek before he pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “One for the road,” he said with a smirk.

Cas looked at him with parted lips before he dove forward to pull him into a deep kiss, licking into his mouth with fervor. When he pulled back again he panted, before licking over his own lips. “You really make me weak.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “Good to know I’m not alone in that.”

Cas gave him a flustered look before he hooked his fingers into Dean’s belt loops and pulled him close. His lips hovered over Dean’s as he whispered, “All I’m thinking of right now is taking you to my room again and not leaving it for the next few hours.”

Dean chuckled. “All I’m thinking of is saying fuck breakfast and doing what you just said.”

Cas let out a low frustrated growl, biting his lower lip before he turned around and turned on the stove. “This is going to be a long day.”

Dean pressed a kiss to his cheek before he moved to grab the plates, putting them next to the stove. “At least we’re both off today.”

Cas gave him a quick smile. “Yes, and Claire and Kaia won’t be here most of the day. Claire said they wanted to explore the town.”

“House to ourselves then?” Dean asked, feeling weirdly nervous and excited.

“Yes.” Cas gave him a shy look before he said, “Like usual when we don’t have any guests.”

Dean chuckled. “True, but we also weren’t…” he tilted his head and looked at Cas. “What are we now?”

“I… I don’t know.” Cas bit his lower lip before he asked, “Are we a real couple now? Just like everyone thinks?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess? And I guess that means I should take you out on a date then.”

Cas’s eyes widened and he gave him a bright smile before he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “Only if you want to. I mean, you don’t have to, Dean.”

Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and held it. “Cas? Will you go on a date with me?”

Cas gave him a surprised look before he nodded with a happy smile. “Yes, I would love to.”

Dean returned the smile and kissed him again. “Awesome.”

“Do you already have something in mind?” Cas asked with a shy smile as he prepared the first pancake.

“Not yet, but I’ve got the day to think of it. Is there anything you want to do?” Dean asked as he grabbed utensils and syrup to take to the dining table.

“I would like to go to the cinema with you,” Cas replied almost immediately, as if he had already thought about it.

Dean chuckled. “Any particular movie you want to see?”

Cas nodded before he pulled out his phone and opened something. "They’re having a dinosaur special at the moment, and they are showing  _ Jurassic Park." _

“Oh, hell yeah,” Dean said with a nod. “Have I not made you watch that yet?”

Cas shook his head with a happy smile. "No, and I really want to see how humans imagine dinosaurs to look."

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t know if I want to know if we got it right or not.”

"I could just watch in quiet contemplation and not tell you," Cas suggested.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Dean closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Cas from behind and resting his chin on his shoulder. “Could always occupy your lips another way…”

Cas hummed and Dean could see he had difficulties concentrating on the pancake he was making. "O-Oh… like what?"

“Like…” he purred, dragging out the letters as he breathed into his ear, “eating popcorn.”

Cas shivered slightly before he turned to look at Dean. "Oh, I thought you meant kissing. But a cinema is a very public place. That would probably be inappropriate."

Dean breathed out a soft laugh as he smirked. “But it’s real dark in those theaters.”

Cas raised his eyebrow and he suddenly looked very hopeful. "Does that mean you would kiss me in the cinema?"

“If you’d let me,” he murmured as he drew Cas in for a kiss.

Cas made a cute noise, a mixture of a moan and a gasp before he kissed him back.

Of course this was the moment the kids had to come and interrupt them. Claire groaned, "Ugh, gross. Not something I wanna see for breakfast."

Dean turned to her and quirked his brow. “Too fuckin’ bad.” Dean turned Cas around and drew him in for a real kiss.

Cas smiled against his lips and Dean instantly knew he had made him happy with that move. 

Claire protested again, "I get your point, but that's my Dad you're kissing. And I'm hungry."

Dean chuckled against Cas’s lips. “Guess you should feed your daughter.”

Cas's eyes were shining with happiness and it was hard to look away. "Yes, pancakes. Just go and sit down. I’ll bring the first batch in a few minutes." 

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he said as he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek and made his way to the table, making sure to grab the orange juice on the way. At the knowing smirk he received from Claire, Dean flipped her off.

Kid might have been right, but she didn’t need to rub it in.

Cas had spent the day raking the garden, and cleaning up, baking a cherry pie for Dean before they got ready for the cinema, and taking a quick shower. He hadn’t seen much of Dean during the day, because he had busied himself with maintaining Cas’s truck, for which Cas was incredibly thankful.

Every time they were alone during the day, they had shared kisses and it had been growing more and more difficult to stop. A huge part of his brain stopped doing its job when Dean kissed him, and all he wanted was to surrender to those feelings. But everytime he was felt himself going there, there was a sudden wave of panic rising within him. Which wasn’t just a really uncomfortable feeling, but a feeling of insecurity. He didn’t want to give Dean the impression that he didn’t like what they were doing. 

He hoped that he would get used to it. That the panic and fear he was feeling would subside over time. But so far it was still there. Maybe he just needed to be patient. After all, this was still new.

The local cinema was pretty crowded that night, and Dean had bought the tickets, a Coke for both of them, and a huge bucket of popcorn for them to share. Cas felt really happy when Dean joined him again, and handed him his Coke. It was almost like the dates he had seen in certain movies. “Thank you, Dean.”

He pulled a box out of his pocket before he sat down and handed it to Cas. “Got you M&M’s too.”

Cas gave him a soft smile before he leaned over and quickly kissed Dean's cheek. "Thank you," he murmured.

Dean returned the smile as he settled into the seat next to him, leaning over to grab a handful of popcorn and another kiss.

Cas was surprised that Dean was okay with kissing him in a public place. Apparently, he was getting used to this a lot quicker than Cas had anticipated. He couldn't help but worry what this meant for them in regards to taking it slow. Would Dean get impatient with him at some point?

He took a sip of his Coke, trying to calm his racing heart with those thoughts. His mind going to the night they would spend in bed together. He bit his lower lip and stared at the large screen, where the pre-trailer commercials had started, to distract himself from those thoughts. Not that it worked.

Would Dean remove his shirt again? Touch his chest? His heart beat quicker, and he could feel his penis growing hard against his jeans. He pulled the popcorn bowl higher over his crotch to hide it before he leaned closer to Dean. "You don’t want me to point out the mistakes they made about the dinosaurs, right?"

“Not even a little bit,” he said around a mouthful of popcorn.

"I’ll keep the real stories about meeting a tyrannosaurus rex to myself then," he replied quietly under his breath, the back of his hand touching Dean's thigh.

Dean quirked his brow. “You definitely gotta tell me about that.”

“Do I?” Cas gave him a playful smile and raised his eyebrow. He gently slid his finger over Dean’s leg.

“Oh, yeah,” he murmured as he rested his head on Cas’s shoulder.

Cas turned his head and kissed the top of his head. “Okay, remind me when we’re back home,” he murmured before he reached out to hold Dean’s hand. This was really nice.

Dean took his hand and squeezed it with a hum. “This is kinda nice.”

“Yeah,” Cas replied quietly. “Thank you for taking me out on a date.”

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Thanks for saying yes.”

“Of course. I’ve always wanted to go on a date.” His last attempt had failed rather epically though.

“Really?” he asked as he grabbed another handful of popcorn.

“The ultimate human experience,” he replied with a grin before he gave Dean a serious look. “But in reality, I just love spending time with you.”

Dean smiled and said, “Let’s see if dating me makes you change your mind about that.”

“I’m pretty sure nothing could make me change my mind about that.” Cas kissed the side of his head. “I’ve known you for a very long time now.”

“That’s true, and since you haven’t gotten sick of me yet…” he said with a soft laugh before he reached over and grabbed the M&M’s. “Bet you’ve never mixed these with popcorn have you?”

Cas shook his head before he said, “I only eat the blue ones.”

“What?” Dean asked in a laugh. “Why?”

“Because they are my favorite,” Cas replied with a shrug.

“Cas, they all taste the same.”

“And that's where you're wrong. You underestimate the power of expectations when you see a color. They all taste different to me because I expect them to taste different. And the blue ones are my favorite because I've never eaten anything blue before. I have no expectations for how it could taste, other than blue.”

Dean stared at him for a moment, as though Cas was a complicated math problem, before he poured a few of the candies into his hand and held them out to Cas. “Ever eaten a rainbow?”

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle. “Not one made out of chocolate.”

Dean grabbed some of the popcorn and put it in the same palm. “Try it all together.”

Cas leaned over and gathered the candy and popcorn with his lips from Dean’s palm, before he carefully crunched down on them. It was a funny explosion of different tastes. He swallowed before he smiled at Dean. “It tastes like an explosion of colors.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up before he leaned in and kissed Cas. At first a tentative kiss, but quickly grew into a more dominating and determined kiss.

“Get a room!” The guy sitting behind them, who looked like a toad, suddenly complained.

Dean scoffed and flipped around to the guy. “There a reason you want to make some kind of scene instead of minding your own damn business?”

The guy scoffed. “Is there a reason you’re doing your gay stuff here instead of somewhere private, where you won’t bother anyone?”

Dean stood up and stared the man down. “You wanna try that again?”

The guy looked intimidated and Cas reached up to Dean’s arm, giving him a pleading look. “Just ignore him. The movie is about to start.”

“I’m gonna go back to my date now, so feel free to ignore us,” he spat before sitting down and making it a point to kiss Cas when he did.

Cas couldn’t help but moan over the possessive way Dean was kissing him, practically melting against his lips. When he pulled back, he was a little breathless, staring at Dean. “Dean,” he murmured, but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. Luckily, in that moment, the movie started.

He could see the way Dean smiled at him from the light of the credits. Dean turned his attention to the screen and rested his head on Cas’s shoulder again.

His head was swimming. To have Dean like this seemed almost surreal. Like all of this was just a djinn dream in reality. How could he be so lucky? He took Dean’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand, as the film started. There was a cage they lifted with a crane, and Cas suspected it contained a smaller dinosaur. Pretty dangerous work… He tried to imagine dinosaurs living together with humans, only to come to the conclusion they would have probably eaten all of the humans because most of them had been apex predators. 

He remembered his father going through his dinosaur phase, enjoying their innate urge to hunt in packs, all the while making them bigger, and more dangerous. All to create the perfect hunter. That was until he got bored with them and started over.

When a man got attacked by something in the cage, Cas startled and grabbed Dean’s hand harder, looking at him with wide eyes. It was just a movie. Why did he startle? None of this was real.

Dean pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll protect you,” he whispered.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I know it's just a movie, Dean. I don't know why I startled. I was just surprised."

Dean chuckled and squeezed his hand. “Movie magic,” was all he said.

Cas gave him a soft smile. Yeah, that was probably it. There was a scene change to an excavation, and the main character was clearly being introduced. Alan Grant, who was fascinated by dinosaurs, specifically velociraptors. Cas remembered that they actually had colorful feathers all over their bodies, looking more like a bird than a reptile. His father loved creating creatures with feathers.

Dean reached over to grab a handful of popcorn, head still resting against Cas.

Cas leaned closer, his other hand playfully stealing popcorn from Dean’s hand, and pointedly eating it.

Dean chuckled and whispered, “Thief,” before he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek.

Cas chuckled and fed Dean a few M&Ms instead, sliding his fingers over Dean’s beautiful lips. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, but he didn't actually mean it.

Dean kissed Cas’s fingertips. “Thanks.”

Cas gave him a smile, taking in a shuddered breath from the tingling in his fingertips after touching them to Dean’s lips. He tried to return his attention to the movie, where a few people were assembled to visit a dinosaur park. It was quite an interesting story, but Cas had a feeling this wouldn't end well. If they had just herbivore dinosaurs maybe… but he suspected any carnivore dinosaurs would eat all of the humans in the movie. He frowned before he leaned over. “The children won't get eaten, right?”

Dean shook his head. “They’re badass little kids.”

“That’s a relief.” Cas gave him a relieved smile. He really didn't want to see children getting eaten by a dinosaur.

Dean smiled at him and proceeded to gently trace something on Cas’s forearm while he watched the movie.

Cas gasped quietly, leaning closer to Dean. He had goosebumps all over his arm now. It felt incredible and left him wanting more. “What are you drawing?”

Dean shrugged and rested his head on Cas’s shoulder again. “Nothin’ in particular.”

Cas somehow didn’t believe him. It didn’t feel random, but if Dean didn’t want to tell him, it was probably because he was embarrassed about it. Which he hoped meant it was something romantic. He leaned into Dean with a smile, squeezing his hand.

Although the movie was pretty gripping, Cas’s thoughts wandered back to the upcoming night. He wanted more than just kissing Dean, but he wasn't sure if he was ready. Only time would tell.

He shuffled closer to Dean when the T-Rex was drawing closer to the kids, and startled when the huge eye suddenly appeared in the car window. “Sorry,” he mumbled under his breath.

Dean chuckled and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “It’s kinda awesome how scared you get considering everything we’ve seen,” he whispered.

“I’m not scared,” Cas replied lowly, “I just didn't expect–” He startled again when the T-Rex attacked the car, his eyes glued to the screen as he held Dean’s hand.

“Sure, not scared at all.” Dean squeezed his hand in comfort.

“Are you making fun of me?” Cas asked, and he was aware that he sounded a little miffed.

Dean drew back and gave him a bemused smile. “Yeah, it’s what you do when you like someone.”

“Why?” Because that wasn’t a very nice thing to do, especially if you liked someone.

Dean shrugged. “I think it’s a weird form of human affection.”

“It would be so much easier if people would just say outright what they are thinking or feeling.” Cas sighed. “It’s all very confusing.” 

“True, but then we’re all guilty of not being totally forthcoming.”

Cas gave him a quick look. “I never told you about my feelings because I was afraid you… you wouldn't want me as your friend anymore.”

Dean leaned in and cupped his face, drawing him in for a kiss before he whispered, “Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Cas gave him a surprised look. “I thought I would make you uncomfortable with a confession like that because… you know…”  _ You only like women. _

“You’re my best friend, Cas.”

“Still… I thought I would make things awkward,” Cas explained quietly.

Dean squeezed his hand again. “We always overcome.”

It wasn’t just a phrase. Cas knew Dean was right. All of the things Cas had done to Dean; lying to him, harming Sam… those were things that Dean wouldn’t forgive anyone, except maybe his brother. But for some wondrous reason they were still friends. Even after all that had happened between them. “It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take for something selfish… but I’m… I’m glad you know now.” 

Dean smiled and nodded as he rested his head against Cas’s shoulder again.

Still, Cas couldn’t help but wonder if Dean’s feelings for him were the same. The fact that he was physically close to Cas didn’t mean much. Dean had a lot of sexual interactions with women he didn’t have feelings for in the past. He knew that Dean loved him though, but he wasn’t sure if it really was a romantic love. It shouldn’t matter. The fact alone that Dean was willing to give this a chance was pretty amazing in and of itself. But still, it left him somewhat defensive about all of it. He knew that if Dean called this off once and for all, after Cas allowed himself to believe that this was actually happening, it would hurt. More than any of the pain he had experienced. 

As the rest of the movie played out, he barely paid it any attention, just enjoying the feeling of Dean being close, as he tried to forget about all of the doubt and negative thoughts in his mind. He was with Dean in the here and now, and the man continued to hold his hand, kissing him from time to time. He even put his arm around Cas when he startled again because of one of the velociraptors, that was a rather frightening and evil version of the creature. Human imagination was quite dark. But to his delight, the movie had a happy end for the protagonists, and Cas was grateful that humans hadn’t actually found a way to bring dinosaurs back to life.

“That was a pretty good movie,” Cas whispered when the end credits started rolling.

Dean beamed at him. “Even though we probably got what they looked like wrong?”

Cas gave him a quick smile. “Yes, even though they looked different. They probably wouldn’t have been as scary if the creators had known how colorful they really were. Beautiful, but deadly.”

Dean chuckled and squeezed his hand. “Glad you still liked it.”

When he got up, the guy behind them gave him an angry look as he took Dean’s hand in his, shaking his head before he stomped away. Cas tilted his head and looked at Dean. “That guy looked like the sick triceratops in the movie… Probably also has trouble with his digestion.”

Dean barked out a laugh and drew him in for a kiss. “Sick burn, Cas.”

Cas frowned at Dean. “What?”

Dean shook his head, an amused expression on his face. “Don’t worry about it, just know you did good.”

That was probably a phrase or reference that he didn’t understand, again. He would look it up later. Cas squeezed his hand as they made their way through the aisles and outside before he checked his phone. He had a message from Claire that they wouldn’t be home for dinner and they shouldn’t wait up for them. “Seems like we have the house to ourselves a while longer.” Cas showed Dean the text message, trying to ignore the nervous anticipation.

Dean smiled and draped his arm over Cas’s shoulder. “So whaddya want to do?”

Cas felt the annoying heat creeping to his face when he thought of being alone with Dean before he shook his head slightly and replied, “I could cook something. Popcorn isn’t exactly a suitable dinner.”

“Or…” Dean started as he looked around before pushing Cas up against the side of the building. “We could pick up something quick, and find a makeout point?”

Cas’s breathing hitched and his knees felt weak as he stared at Dean with parted lips. “Make out point?”

Dean smirked as he leaned in close and gently grasped his chin. “Where people go to make out in their cars.”

Cas swallowed dryly before he nodded. “Like the lake?”

“Exactly,” Dean murmured as he cupped Cas’s cheek. “So? Do you wanna?”

“Yeah,” Cas breathed out, feeling dizzy with how fast his heart was beating.

Dean's lips curled up in a smile as he leaned in and whispered, “Then what’re we waiting for?”

The goosebumps were all over his skin at that point, and he shivered before he followed Dean to his car. “Where did you want to get food?” he asked hesitantly.

“Figured we could hit a shake shack, get our order to go, head out?”

“Okay,” Cas agreed, giving him a quick smile before he looked out of the window, trying to calm down his racing heart.

Dean gently took Cas’s hand in his. “If it’s too fast, you can tell me.”

Cas rubbed his thumb slowly over Dean’s hand, biting his lower lip. “I… I want to. I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

“Me too, but I… I like making out with you.”

Somehow that made him feel better. If Dean was nervous too maybe this wouldn’t go further than kisses and a little touching. Cas knew he could do that. He gave Dean another smile before they arrived at a restaurant with several parking stalls and their own communicative menu.

Dean pulled into one of the stalls and asked the woman on the other end of the overly large radio to give him a minute. He turned to Cas. “You want your usual, or something new?”

“I only want some fries and a strawberry milkshake.” He was sure he couldn’t stomach more. He was way too nervous.

“No bacon cheeseburger?” he asked, tone surprised.

Cas shook his head. “Not today. I don’t want to upset my stomach.”

Dean fixed him with a concerned expression before he ordered their food. He turned back to Cas and took his hand. “You okay?”

Cas chuckled and nodded. “Your concern is unnecessary, but very nice. I’m okay, Dean.” 

Dean smiled at him. “Alright. Just making sure.”

A while later, they were on their way to the lake by foot, Cas holding the paper bag with their food. “I sometimes feel sick when I get too nervous. Did you ever have that problem?”

“Not  _ sick _ sick, but yeah, butterflies, nerves… whatever it’s called, most people do.” Dean gave him a reassuring smile and helped him up on the dock.

The sun was setting, and it was a rather beautiful evening. Peaceful and quiet. No one was there except for them. Cas sat next to Dean and rested his head against his shoulder. “This is nice.”

Dean nodded as he handed Cas his milk shake. “Nice end to a nice day.”

Cas wrapped his lips around the straw, and drank a huge portion of the shake, savoring the taste of strawberries in his mouth before he swallowed, and gave Dean a flirty smile. “I would say this is the best date I’ve ever had, but since it’s also my first, that’s probably not worth much.”

Dean chuckled and leaned in to take a sip of Cas’s shake. “Well, I haven’t been on many dates either, so I’m glad I didn’t fuck it up.”

“Is our date already over?” Cas asked curiously.

Dean smirked and leaned in a little closer. “Not if you don’t want it to be.”

Cas shook his head. “It’s over when we get home and you kiss me in front of the door. That’s the custom, I think.”

“I think you’re right,” he murmured before he closed the gap between them and kissed him.

Cas gasped into the kiss, slowly putting his milkshake to the side before he deepened the contact, licking into his mouth. He knew he would never get enough of feeling and tasting Dean like this.

Dean chuckled as he pulled Cas onto his lap and deepened the kiss even further.

Cas moaned into the kiss, sliding close to Dean’s body as he wrapped his arms around him, getting lost in sensation. He buried one hand into Dean’s hair, letting his fingers slide through the short strands. He loved feeling the texture of them. The expert way Dean was kissing him reduced him to a weak, trembling mess in his arms. He was sure he would do anything Dean asked of him in that moment, unable to quell the arousal, as he felt himself grow hard from the contact.

Dean gasped and drew back with a breathy chuckle, forehead braced against Cas’s. “Damn, Cas.”

  
“What?” Cas asked breathlessly, wondering if he had done something wrong.

“You’re too good at that,” he breathed out in a soft laugh as he tapped Cas’s bottom lip with his index finger.

Cas’s breathing hitched and he couldn’t stop himself before he carefully licked over the underside of Dean’s finger, eye contact never wavering.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up as he let out a soft groan. “Fuck.”

Cas hoped he hadn’t been too bold. He knew what he was insinuating. He had never had sex with a man before, but he knew what it entailed… thanks to a lot of inappropriate videos he had watched searching for that cream pie recipe.

He licked over Dean’s finger again before he hesitantly wrapped his lips around it and sucked.

“Shit… that’s fucking hot,” Dean breathed out in almost bemused sounding awe.

Cas released his finger and kissed the tip of it before he breathed out, “I learned that from the, ‘not recipes,’ website. The one with the false advertizing.”

Dean yanked him in for a kiss, far more fervent and needy than any of their previous kisses.

Cas gasped, pressing closer. So much so that Dean fell backwards, and ended up pulling him down with him, never breaking the kiss. "Dean," Cas breathed out, still needing to be closer to Dean. His hand wandered to the hem of Dean's shirt, sliding under to feel Dean's skin.

“Fuck, Cas,” he gasped out as he pulled Cas in for another frantic kiss.

Cas lost himself in the kiss, sliding his hand up to Dean's chest, sliding his fingertips softly over the broad expanse. "Dean… you make me crazy," Cas moaned against Dean's lips. "I… want to… I need you."

“Me too,” he groaned as he tightened his grip around Cas’s hips, as though holding himself back.

Cas gave him a needy look when he pulled back. "Maybe we should… take a break?"

“If, uh… if you want to.”

A huge part of him didn’t want to, but he knew it would probably be for the best. “Yeah.” He nodded slowly before he tentatively slid off of Dean, and sat next to him again. His erection pressed uncomfortably against his jeans. He sighed as he tried shifting into another position that was less straining. “This is a rather annoying side effect,” he mumbled before he grabbed his milkshake again to take a sip.

Dean chuckled and sat up. “You’re telling me.”

"This doesn't just happen when we kiss… sometimes I just think of kissing you and it happens too," Cas admitted with a soft smile. 

“Glad I’m not alone.” 

Hearing that was all kinds of surprising. "You think about me?"

Dean laughed and took his milkshake to take a sip. “Why are you shocked? You see what you do to me.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed grin. "Yes, but there is a difference between actively arousing someone, or just thinking of that person when the person isn't there."

Dean let out a soft laugh. “You’re always on my mind, Cas.”

His heart skipped a beat with Dean's words, and overwhelmed Cas with happiness. Before he could stop himself, he drew Dean into a heated kiss.

Dean groaned and pushed Cas against the dock, slotting himself between his legs as he continued to kiss the breath out of him.

Cas's body was running on instinct as he softly ground his erection against Dean’s. 

“Fuck, Cas,” he breathed against Cas’s neck before biting his pulse point.

Cas gasped at the sensation. "Dean, uh, please." He rocked his hips up again, searching for more friction.

“Please what?” he asked as his hand started slipping lower and lower along Cas’s torso.

Cas felt like he was going crazy with want as he writhed under Dean's body. He had no idea what he had been asking for. For more closeness, more touching, more everything? He decided to ask for something that was safe. "Please kiss me."

Dean nodded and drew him in for a surprisingly gentle and languid kiss as his hand drifted lower, caressing now exposed hip bones.

Cas shivered from the feeling of Dean's rough and calloused hands against his skin. It felt incredible. “Dean… that feels so good.”

“You feel so good,” Dean growled before he kissed Cas again.

Cas started shivering when the cold wind from the lake engulfed them. He pulled Dean closer with a soft moan. "Do you want to go home? We could continue this in my bed?"

Dean nodded against his lips. “Yeah.” 

Cas gave him a soft kiss and smiled against his lips. "Good, then let’s go."

Maybe it was the halogen lighting from the too bright hallway light, or the drive back giving them time to cool off, but by the time they made it to the privacy of Cas’s room, Dean was standing against the closed door while Cas sat on the bed. Neither of them making a move.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the carpet. “You make me feel like a goofy, clueless teenager,” he confessed.

Cas looked up at him with an equally embarrassed expression. “I’m sorry.”

Dean let out a soft laugh and approached Cas. “We, uh, we forgot to kiss at the front door.”

Cas looked up at him with wide eyes. “Oh.” He slowly stood up and licked over his lips. He seemed nervous. "Maybe we should rectify that?"

“Is… is a bedroom door close enough?” he asked as he stepped into Cas’s space.

“I'm sure it counts,” Cas answered as he tentatively wrapped his arms around Dean before pulling him into a gentle kiss.

Dean’s hands came to rest against Cas’s hips as he pulled him flush. It was crazy how much Dean was into kissing Cas. Hell, earlier when Cas sucked his finger, he’d kind of had a Darryl Whitefeather level epiphany about his sexuality in that moment. Dean was a, “both sexual.” No two ways about it.

His hands slipped to Cas’s ass, instinct working on the fire of that memory, lifting Cas into his arms as he flipped them, Cas now pressed against the door. Dean was instantly hard.

Cas groaned into the kiss, crossing his legs behind Dean as he responded in an equally fervent fashion. Even softly biting at Dean’s lips with a low growl.

Dean squeezed Cas’s ass, pleasantly surprised by how firm it was. He ended up groaning against Cas’s lips. “Fuck.”

"Dean," Cas moaned, breathing heavily. "Bed?"

Dean nodded and carried Cas to the bed, dropping him to the mattress before crawling between his legs and diving right back in.

Cas groaned into the kiss, rocking his hips against Dean. He could feel Cas's erection through the impeding fabric, rubbing against his own, as Cas's hands slid to the buttons of his shirt, starting to open them, almost urgently.

The panic bells hadn’t alarmed yet, even though he was pretty sure this was too much, too fast, but Dean went with it. He helped Cas with the rest of the buttons and shrugged off his shirt as he went for Cas’s.

That was when he could practically feel Cas’s hesitation. Cas grabbed his wrist and looked up at him. “Only the shirt… I’m not ready for more.”

Dean nodded. “Okay,” he murmured as he tried to calm his racing heart.

Cas helped him remove his shirt before he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s chest, trailing his lips over his pecs before he playfully licked over Dean’s nipple.

Dean gasped and pushed Cas flat against the bed, taking control as he started kissing every inch he could reach.

Cas gasped, his fingers sliding into Dean’s hair. “Uh… Dean,” he moaned, his hips rocking against Dean’s again.

Dean raked his nails down Cas’s sides, grinding his erection against Cas’s groin. “Fuck…”

A very needy sounding whimper fell from Cas’s lips before he leaned up to draw Dean in for a fervent kiss.

Dean groaned into the kiss and found himself, for the first time, wanting to touch more of Cas. Touch his dick, which was kind of fucking with him. Dean drew back, panting in a vain attempt at catching his breath. “I can’t stop thinking of touching you.”

Cas gave him a confused look. “But you are touching me.”

“All of you,” he growled in his ear as he grinded against Cas again. To punctate exactly where he wanted to touch.

  
Cas pulled away from him with wide eyes. “Dean… I can’t… I’m sorry.”

Dean nodded, reality instantly dousing him. “Yeah, yeah… m’sorry.”

Cas gave him a pained look. “I ruined the mood now, didn’t I?”

“No, Cas,” he reassured as he grabbed his hand. 

Cas squeezed it and leaned forward for a gentle kiss, murmuring, “I just need a little more time. It’s not because I don’t want to.”

Dean nodded and sighed. “It’s 'cause of how much I fucked up.”

“What?” Cas asked in confusion before he frowned, and shook his head. “No, it has nothing to do with you.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “Then what is it?”

Cas looked away from him, biting his lower lip. “It’s hard to explain. I don’t… feel very well when–” He sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, sounding slightly frustrated. “When I get too excited, I start to panic.”

_ Shit.  _ Dean thought he was in that boat alone. “I get that,” he murmured as he moved to lay next to Cas on the bed.

Cas raised an eyebrow at him. “You do?”

“Yeah, Cas. It freaks me out and makes me hard; it’s weird.”

Cas gave him a long look before he nodded. “Honestly, I hoped you would feel this way… I thought it would give me time to get used to these intense feelings. Since Lucifer possessed me… it ‘screwed’ with how well I deal with human emotions, or with the topic of having sex.”

Dean could almost taste bile from the images that conjured. “The fuck did he do to you?”

Cas shook his head. “It’s not important. I just need time… to get over those ‘hang ups’. I hope you won’t lose patience with me if it takes a while… I hope taking small steps will eventually get me to relax about it.”

Dean pulled Cas’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles before he rested their joined hands against his chest. “If you don’t lose patience with me crossing the line.”

“I hate disappointing you,” Cas murmured after a while. “I don’t want to say no to you.”

“Hey, it’s okay if you do. I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to do.”

Cas sighed, and he sounded very frustrated now. “But that’s the thing. I want to… be intimate with you. I want to touch you… like this. I want to make you happy.”

“Cas…” he started as he cupped his face, “I only want you to do it ‘cause  _ you  _ want to do it. That’s what would make me happy.” It was crazy how much he meant that.

Cas gave him a long look, biting his lower lip again before he asked, “There is something I want to try if you'll let me.”

Dean definitely wanted, but there was fear underlying his urges too. “What?”

“Would you let me…” Cas cleared his throat. "I want to make you come with my h–hand."

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. It had been his favorite fantasy of late, but… “Not until you’re ready for me to reciprocate.”

Cas looked away for a moment, but Dean could see the disappointment clearly written all over his face. “Dean,” he murmured, “I don’t know how I should get better with all of this if I don’t push my boundaries.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s not about that. We can push each other’s boundaries together.”

Cas touched Dean's chest and slid his hand over Dean's tattoo, tracing it thoughtfully before he nodded. "Alright… that sounds reasonable."

Dean braced his hand over Cas’s. “Good.”

Cas halted his movement and slid closer to him, bright blue eyes searching his before he drew even closer for a gentle kiss. When he leaned back, it was only an inch. “Maybe we could test slowly how far we can go until we get uncomfortable.” 

“I would definitely be down to test that.”

Cas gave him a shy smile before he kissed him again. It wasn't a needy kiss, more like a lazy and slow exploration.

Dean hummed against his lips and pulled Cas onto his lap, movements still slow and languid.

"I like this… being in your lap. I also like it when you lift me. I don't know why."

Dean chuckled. “Maybe it makes you feel secure?” he suggested before he drew him in for another kiss.

Cas kissed him back with with a quiet moan, playfully sucking at his lower lip before he nodded. “Yes, you make me feel very safe when I’m close to you. Which is weird… because when I was still an angel, I never felt unsafe. This is a new feeling.”

“I like how you feel in my arms,” he admitted as he cupped his cheek.

“That’s already a lot we feel comfortable with,” Cas replied with a soft smile. “What about this?” he asked as he slid his fingertips gently from Dean’s chest to his stomach.

Dean hummed appreciatively. “That I can work with.”

"What about this?" Cas breathed out before he playfully teased Dean's nipple with his index finger.

Dean gasped and drew him in for a kiss. “I think you like teasing me,” he murmured against his lips.

"Very much." He gave him a flirty smile before he stole another kiss.

Dean slipped his hands to cup Cas’s ass, groaning into the kiss.

Cas gasped, gently biting his lip as he pressed himself against Dean with a needy groan. "Dean," he hummed. "That feels very intense."

“Want me to stop?” he breathed out.

Cas seemed to think about it for a moment before he shook his head. "No, but I will definitely need a cold shower after this. You make me wish for more."

Dean smiled and gently smacked his ass. “Me too.”

Cas gasped and gave him a playful growl before he kissed him again, sliding his hands down to Dean’s sides until he reached the hem of his jeans. 

“You make me crazy,” he breathed out, pulling Cas in for another needy kiss.

"Would you, um, remove your jeans?" Cas asked breathlessly against his lips.

Dean nodded slightly. “If you take off yours.”

Cas bit his lower lip before he nodded, and slowly opened the button of his jeans and the zipper before he pulled down his jeans and threw them off of the bed. His black boxers were impressively tented. He looked up, breathing a little faster, his gaze insecure. 

Dean instinctively licked his lips, taking in Cas’s form as he removed his own pants, his whole body shivering in anticipation. When he was only in his boxers, Dean leaned forward and pressed a more tentative kiss to his lips. “It’s fuckin’ with me how attracted I am to you,” he confessed.

Cas gave him another insecure look. "Shouldn't that be a good thing? I mean… that you're attracted to me?"

Dean nodded. “It is, it’s just… I’ve never really let myself feel that before.” He knew he probably made even less sense with that clarification, but Dean hardly knew what he meant himself. He sighed and took Cas’s hand in his, turning their joined hands together in a nervous dance. “For the first time, I’m ignoring the voice that’s telling me it’s wrong and that’s… uh, that’s scary.”

"What are you scared of?" Cas’s voice was quiet.

“Honestly?” he started, giving Cas a shrug as he said, “I don’t even know anymore.”

Cas gave him a quick smile before he leaned forward for a soft kiss. "Maybe that means you will forget that this is scary at some point."

Dean chuckled and cupped his cheek. “I think I’m more scared of fucking up with you than anything else.”

Cas leaned into his hand. "That's impossible. There is nothing you could do that would change my feelings for you."

“You  _ say _ that, but I’ve already hurt your feelings a few times. Hell, you even said you’d leave me if I met someone.” Dean kept his gaze focused on their joined hands.

"Those are two different things, Dean." Cas sighed deeply and slid closer to him, lifting their joined hands to kiss Dean's knuckles. "You may hurt my feelings down the road, but still… it won't change how I feel about you. If you find someone you fall in love with, and I need to go, that still won't mean it will change my feelings for you. You were a demon and I still loved you, you had the Mark of Cain and murdered people, and I still loved you… No matter what happens, that won't change."

Dean swallowed against the lump in his throat at Cas’s words. It was almost a little overwhelming, knowing that someone, and not just anyone, but an angel of the lord, loved him… so deeply, so intensely, that even at his worst he was still loved… well, to say he was touched would be the understatement of the goddamn millennia.

Through his inability to form a coherent verbal response, Dean drew Cas in for a gentle, yet demanding kiss. Because this was still so new, and terrifying, and Dean had a feeling if he allowed himself to, he could very easily spend the rest of his life this happy.

Thanksgiving finally arrived, and Cas had been looking forward to this day for a week now. Much to Dean’s delight, he had spent the time testing all kinds of recipes with turkey or cranberries. 

Sam and Eileen had arrived yesterday, and were currently talking with Claire and Kaia in the living room, who had both moved to a little apartment, right over the bakery in town. Kaia had a job at the local library, and Claire was still looking.

Dean had decided he would help him in the kitchen for the Thanksgiving family dinner, but Cas wasn’t sure if Dean was really helping, or if he was more of a distraction. Not that he minded. Dean kissing his neck while he was cooking or massaging his shoulders was really nice, considering how much time he had already spent cooking today. 

Cas was slowly getting more and more comfortable with the physical closeness. He stopped tensing up everytime Dean removed Cas’s shirt and jeans at night, and they spent every night kissing until they fell asleep. They still hadn’t done much more than that, kissing and touching above the waist, but Dean wasn’t pressuring him for more.

They also continued to sleep in the same bed, even when they didn’t have any guests staying over. Cas’s favorite thing was when Dean was behind him, arms securely around his waist. Sometimes when Dean was sleeping, he pulled Cas tighter and buried his nose in Cas’s hair. Cas loved how safe he felt in Dean’s arms. It did wonders for his sleep cycle.

Dean came back from setting the table, wrapping his arms around his waist as he kissed his neck, something that always made him weak in his knees. Dean knew that, so he did it every time he came into a room with him. Cas gasped and leaned into his embrace, turning his head a little to kiss Dean’s cheek. “Food will be ready in ten minutes. The turkey smells mouth watering, doesn’t it?”

Dean hummed in agreement. “You did an amazing job, babe,” he murmured against his neck.

Cas raised an eyebrow before he turned around in Dean’s embrace. “Babe?”

Dean drew back and looked hesitant. “Is that okay?”

Cas gave him a reassuring smile and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “It makes me feel like I’m your husband,” he murmured before kissing his earlobe. “I like it.”

Dean smiled at him. “Good,” he returned as he drew him in for a real kiss.

Cas couldn’t help but playfully push Dean against the counter before he deepened the kiss with a chuckle. “You’re an evil distraction in the kitchen.”

“Well, this way I can eat the pumpkin pie without you knowing,” he teased with an eyebrow waggle.

“It’s funny that you believe you could do anything stealthy in this kitchen without my knowing,” Cas countered, playfully pulling him in by the belt loops of Dean’s jeans.

Dean chuckled and kissed his nose. “I could always have a more stealthy PIC.”

“PIC?” Cas frowned at him, trying to search his mind for the meaning, but coming up empty.

“Partner in crime,” he said with a smirk, before he drew him in for another kiss.

Cas lost himself in the kiss when he suddenly felt another presence in the kitchen. He turned around with a raised eyebrow. Right in that moment he caught Claire trying to steal the pumpkin pie from the counter. “Of course it’s you two.”

He really shouldn’t have been surprised. Claire and Dean were very similar in many ways.

Dean sighed and shook his head. “You gotta work on your sneaking, Cyrus.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow. “And you should work on being more distracting.”

Cas gave them both a pointed look. “You both are banned from the kitchen. I’ll join you in the living room when the food is done in a few minutes.”

“Okay, babe,” Dean said with a kiss to his cheek before he lifted Claire and threw her over his shoulder to carry her out.

She protested loudly, calling him an ape or something similar, and Cas rubbed his hand over his chest with a smile. He had never felt so happy and content before. He was quite thankful for having them in his life. His family. He had never thought being human would fulfill him in so many ways. 

He finished the rest of the food preparations, and made the turkey presentable on a platter, like he had learned from an American cooking lady on an  _ actual  _ recipe website, before he carried it over to the dinner table.

Kaia suddenly appeared next to him, asking if she could help carry anything, and he nodded before she followed him back to the kitchen. He handed her the potatoes and stuffing, while Cas grabbed the salad and pie.

“I hope everyone is hungry,” he said when he sat down next to Dean at the table, once everything was set and everyone had something to drink.

Dean leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “‘Course we are; you wouldn’t let us sneak anything.”

Cas gave him a smile and shook his head. “I wanted us to all eat together. Otherwise you and Claire would already be full.”

Sam laughed at that. “Dean can always eat.”

Claire added with a nod. “I have an extra stomach for pie.”

The proud way Dean smiled at her took his breath away. Dean leaned over and gave her a high five. “That’s my girl.”

“It’s like seeing a girl version of Dean,” Sam added with a head shake, and Cas couldn’t help but agree. 

“I’m happy you’re all here and we can celebrate this day together,” Cas said after he had distributed the food on all of their plates. “And I have a little announcement.”

“You’re pregnant with Dean’s love child,” Claire quipped, and Cas gave her a pointed look.

“No, and also that would be impossible.” He was pretty sure she knew that though, considering the way she smirked. “Feathers’ wing is completely healed. Tomorrow morning I’m going to set him free. If you want to witness this, you are invited to join me in the garden tomorrow.”

Dean leaned over and held Cas’s hand. “Count me in.”

They all sounded very excited with the news, and promised to be there. Cas couldn’t stop smiling as he watched his family start eating, talking amongst themselves, a buzz of contentment and happiness in the air. He grabbed Dean’s hand under the table and squeezed, giving him a bright smile before he leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Dean pulled their joined hands to his lips to kiss Cas’s knuckles, before he served himself an extra helping of stuffing. “Your cooking continues to get better, Cas.”

“Thank you,” Cas replied with a smile, happy that his skills were improving. But the best compliment was that Dean never let anything spoil, and he always got more helpings. He ate everything Cas cooked.

Dean winked at him before grabbing some more turkey.

“Are you  _ sure _ you don’t want to come live with us?” Sam asked. He was clearly joking, but there was a semblance of sincerity to his tone.

In that instant, Dean’s expression grew serious. He held his fork of turkey coated in mashed potatoes threateningly at his brother. “Not funny.”

Cas wrapped his fingers around Dean’s wrist and gave him a soft smile before he looked at Sam. “I’m not going to leave Dean.”

Dean stared at him for a beat, expression unreadable, before he sat back and said, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Cas wondered if Dean didn't believe him, if he really thought Cas would leave him at some point. He wondered how he could make him see that wasn't going to happen. He leaned over, kissing him behind his ear before he murmured, "Nothing will keep me away from you. I love you."

Dean let out a soft chuckle before he gently cupped Cas’s cheek. “And you make me stupid happy, angel.”

Cas leaned into his hand with a smile and Sam chuckled. 

"It's really cute seeing you guys like this."

Dean grabbed a dinner roll and threw it at his brother. “We may be many things, but  _ cute  _ isn’t one of them.”

“Don’t throw the dinner, Dean,” Cas complained before he rolled his eyes.

Dean grinned. “I promise I won’t start a food fight this time.”

"No, you won't." Cas raised his eyebrow before he gave Sam a pointed look. "That also counts for you and Claire. Be nice to each other."

“What did  _ we  _ do?” Claire demanded.

"Nothing yet. And I want to keep it that way." 

Dean poked his tongue out at her, prompting Claire to grab a handful of yams off of her plate, but thankfully Kaia reached over and halted her movement, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. Claire sank back against her chair with a dopey grin.

Cas chuckled before he leaned over to kiss Dean’s cheek, whispering, "Although family dinners are very nice, I can't wait to be alone with you tonight."

Dean chuckled and nodded, nudging his nose against Cas’s. “Me either.”

Cas wrapped an arm around Dean to get his lips closer to Dean’s ear, whispering, “I feel a little adventurous.” He was toying more and more with the idea of doing more with Dean than just touching his chest or stomach.

“Do you now?” Dean purred.

“You guys know we’re still here, right?” Sam asked.

Dean gave Cas a pointed look. “Can I please throw something at him?”

Cas chuckled and shook his head before he looked at Sam. "Of course we know that you're still here. But that wasn't a conversation for the public ear."

Sam laughed and shook his head. “I don’t wanna know.”

Claire made a grimace and pointed her fork with an impaled potato at him. "And I  _ definitely  _ don't wanna know." 

Cas smiled at both of them. He suddenly had an evil idea and hoped Dean would be proud of him. “So, you don’t want to know how we will use honey to rub it all over certain things, and then use our mouths–”

“Ew! Stop!” Claire interrupted, bracing her hands over her ears.

Cas gave Dean a playfully confused look. “I was talking about making us bread with honey.”

Dean burst into laughter and smiled at Cas. “I love you,” he breathed out before he gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.

Cas's eyes widened, his heart stumbling painfully before he cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to calm Dean down. For a second he thought Dean meant those words in a romantic way, but he knew he wasn't  _ that  _ lucky. "It's okay," he murmured, touching Dean's arm. "I know you don't mean it like that."

The stricken expression on Dean’s face was worrisome. He moved to get up and, with a murmured, “excuse me,” and was out of the dining room, the sound of a door upstairs slamming behind him.

Cas was uncomfortable with the way everyone was staring at him. He had no idea what to say, so he stood up with a murmured, "Please excuse me. I…” 

"It's okay. Just go." Claire nodded, giving him a reassuring smile.

Cas quickly followed Dean up the stairs to his room, carefully closing the door behind him. “Dean?”

Dean was sitting on the bed, leaning forward with his elbows braced against his knees. “Yeah.”

Cas sat next to him on the bed, leaving a little space between them. "Talk to me," he said softly.

Dean sighed and kept his gaze downward. “I meant it, Cas.”

His heart was hammering again, and he took in a shuddered breath before he tried to calm down. “I know, Dean. You’ve told me that I’m your family a lot.”

“Goddamnit, Cas,” he breathed out in an amazed chuckle. Dean sat up and cupped his cheeks in both hands, holding his gaze. “I’m in love with you, you literal asshole.”

Cas's breathing hitched as he stared at Dean for a few more seconds before stuttering, "L – like… the same way I love you?"

“How many times do I gotta say it?” Dean asked, shaking his head.

Cas shook his head before he dove forward and kissed Dean. He still couldn’t believe it. This was a dream come true. When he leaned back, he was breathing heavily, staring at Dean. “I’m sorry… I just… I’m so happy.” 

The moment he said it out loud, the feeling began to overwhelm him, and he smiled broadly at Dean.

Dean chuckled and gently caressed the side of his face. “Me too, angel.” Dean closed the gap and kissed him again, a frantic yet loving gesture as he gripped Cas’s shirt to pull him closer.

Cas practically melted against him, responding with equal fervor as he clawed at Dean’s shirt, trying to push it up. He let out a soft groan of frustration.

Dean pulled Cas onto his lap, drawing back slightly as he carded his hand through Cas’s hair. “We could kick them all out,” he suggested with a smirk.

“Or I could lock the door. I'm pretty sure they won't expect us to be back any time soon,” Cas suggested, his eyes fluttering shut from the way Dean’s fingers tangled in his hair.

Dean groaned. “Fuck, baby, I really want to, but I’m not sure I want to spend the rest of dinner with a hard on.”

“I could make you come,” Cas offered breathlessly. He wanted to, he really needed to touch Dean. Because Dean loved him. In a romantic way. And this confession gave him the security he needed.

Dean shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know.” Cas gave him a pleading look. “But I want to.”

“You sure?” he asked, tone absurdly hopeful.

Cas nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. “When I told you earlier that I was feeling adventurous… that is what I meant. I want to touch you. I want to make you come.”

Dean pulled him in for another kiss. “Can I touch you too?”

“Yeah,” Cas breathed out. He still felt nervous about that part, but a lot less than he had in the beginning.

Dean smiled and nodded into another kiss. “Then let’s lock the door.”

Cas stood up and quickly locked the door. When he turned around again, he gave Dean a happy smile as he pulled off his shirt, throwing it on the chair in the corner of the room before he walked back to Dean, sliding onto his lap. He leaned forward to kiss him, trembling fingers started to unbutton Dean’s shirt. “You make me so happy, Dean,” he murmured against his lips.

“Well, then you know how I feel.” Dean helped Cas and started unbuttoning the bottom half of the shirt. Dean chuckled as he leaned in for a kiss, as Cas pushed the shirt from his shoulders.

"I can't believe this is real." Cas slowly began stroking over Dean's chest, grinding his ass against Dean's lap.

Dean groaned and nodded as he caressed Cas’s pec. “Very real, Cas.”

Cas's hand fell to Dean's jeans before he hesitantly unbuttoned them. He gave Dean a quick smile before he pushed him onto the bed and helped Dean out of them entirely, throwing them towards his shirt without looking (or caring) where they landed.

“Yours too,” he said with a quirked brow as he nodded to Cas’s pants.

Cas removed his own jeans, loving the way Dean was watching him. Like he was a delicious piece of pie. Once his jeans were gone, he slipped next to Dean on the bed, drawing him in for another deep kiss. "Are you sure you want to do this with me?" He knew he wasn't the only one with problems with such intimacy, even if their reasons were different.

Dean smiled and nodded. “I might suck at it, I’ve never done it before, but damn, Cas. I’m dying to touch more of you.”

They were definitely in the same boat there. Cas smiled and kissed him again, breathing out, “Me too. Yesterday night I had a very steamy dream about you, and it made me want you even more.” His fingers slid over Dean’s chest to his stomach before he let them hover over Dean’s boxer shorts. With a rush of bravery, he began tracing Dean’s hard erection over the fabric. 

“What was the dream?” he breathed out in a half moan as he bucked into Cas’s movements.

Cas kissed along Dean’s jawline and up to Dean’s ear, moaning when he felt Dean’s fingers on his shoulder and neck. “We were naked… and I kissed you everywhere.”

“What else?” he murmured as he cupped Cas’s ass over his underwear.

Cas gasped and he could feel his own erection throbbing with need at Dean's strong hands on his ass. "I… I used my mouth to make you come."

Dean groaned as he pulled him in for another needy kiss. “Fuck, babe,” he breathed against his lips.

"Do you want that?" Cas asked breathlessly, rocking his erection against Dean's.

“Want you,” he growled before he kissed him again.

Cas shivered with Dean's words as he succumbed to their kiss. "I'm yours." 

Dean drew back and smiled, expression loving and content. “Mine,” he murmured as he gently caressed his cheek.

Cas got lost in Dean’s eyes. Dean being possessive of him made him all kinds of happy. He wanted to belong to Dean, to be his partner, best friend, and now lover. He wanted Dean to share his future with him, at his side. Dean’s words gave him the security to believe in that future. He reached down to his own boxer shorts and pulled them down, trying to show Dean that this was what he wanted. He wouldn’t hold back anymore.

As Dean’s eyes slowly took in his form, he shook his head in apparent amazement. “Fucking beautiful.”

Cas blushed before he reached over to Dean’s boxer shorts, stroking over Dean’s erection. “What do you want, Dean?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Everything,” he murmured as he pulled his underwear down for Cas, “but for now? I want to kiss you while we touch each other together.”

Cas’s breathing hitched when his gaze fell to Dean’s long and thick erection. He nodded breathlessly and slid closer to him, experimentally touching the head of Dean’s member. He wrapped his fingers around it before he started to stroke him, his brain still trying to catch up with the fact that this was happening, that it wasn't a dream.

Dean gasped, which quickly morphed into a needy moan as his hand started trailing down Cas’s hip and along the top of his pubis. “Fuck, fuck… yeah, babe, a little harder.”

Cas felt a surge of lust wash over him. A mixture of anticipation of feeling Dean’s hand on him, and lust from hearing Dean’s reaction to his touches. He followed Dean’s instructions, gripping him harder as he stroked him.

“Yes,” he hissed as his calloused, yet warm palm gently wrapped around Cas’s girth.

“Uhhh,” Cas gasped out, pressing his face against Dean’s shoulder. It was almost overwhelming, like he was losing his mind. He tried to ignore the guilt accompanying the lust, because he knew this was how it was supposed to be. Dean loved him and wanted to do this. It was okay for Cas to feel pleasure. His balls tensed up and he groaned, the palm of his free hand pushing against Dean’s shoulder when it was becoming too much. “Dean,” he breathed out, “let me make you come first.”

Dean nodded a little breathlessly as he slowed his strokes and loosened his grip. “Yeah, baby. I’m fuckin’ embarrassingly close.”

Cas felt a little better hearing that. Just the few touches had almost pushed him over the edge. “Me too, I was about to come.” He felt dizzy from the way he was breathing as he quickened his pace, stroking Dean, getting lost in his beautiful expression.

Dean groaned and kissed him again. “Me too.”

Cas was mesmerized by the sight of Dean succumbing to his lust. He changed the pace to long and hard strokes before he leaned over and drew Dean in for an open mouthed kiss.

Dean’s breathing hitched as he started thrusting into Cas’s fist. “Gonna…” he whimpered before his hips stilled and his cock pulsed with his orgasm.

The feel of Dean’s hot come over his hand, hitting his stomach as he stroked Dean through his orgasm, was intensely good. Cas couldn’t help but bask in the moment of seeing Dean like this, drinking it all in.

Without missing a beat, even through his last pulses, Dean quickened his strokes on Cas and dove in for another kiss.

Cas gasped into the kiss. A sudden streak of panic made him flinch for a moment, but the lust and pleasure surged at the same time, causing his own orgasm to overrun his confusing thoughts.

Dean gently stroked him through the pulses as he dragged his lips over Cas’s cheek. “Beautiful.”

Cas had trouble calming down his breathing, looking at Dean with wide eyes. "We did it," he breathed out.

After another slow, loving kiss, Dean chuckled. “Yeah, we did.”

Cas gave him a shy smile. "I'm sorry I came so quickly. I'm not used to this kind of pleasure."

“I came before you,” he said with an incredulous huff of laughter.

"Only because I made you stop. I nearly came from you just touching me."

Dean laughed again, this time a contented sound. “I nearly came just touching you too.”

Cas chuckled and pulled Dean into a gentle kiss. "We waited a long time for this."

“Worth the wait,” he murmured against his lips.

"I agree." Cas deepened the kiss for a moment before he leaned back to look at Dean. "And I can't wait to try… everything."

Dean gave him a shy smile. “Do you know what you want to try?”

Cas looked down as he felt heat creeping to his cheeks again. "Definitely the thing from my dream."

With a contented sigh, Dean tilted Cas’s chin up and leaned in for another kiss. “Whenever you’re ready.”

"I think I am." Cas gave him a soft kiss before he asked, "What about you? What do you want?"

Dean smiled and carded his hand through Cas’s hair. “I’ve been doing research, so there’s a few things I think I’m ready to try.”

"Like what?" Cas asked curiously, feeling a slight tingle of nervousness in his stomach.

Dean’s cheeks heated, if the red tinge was anything to go by, as he ducked his gaze. “I watched a couple of porn clips with rimming.”

Cas knew what that was was from his unintentional exploration of porn websites. He felt his cheeks heat further before he looked away from Dean with a smile. If Dean wanted to do that, he felt brave enough for his own confession. “I want you to… at some point…” He rubbed the back of his neck. ”I want to feel you.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Cas wasn't sure how to be more precise. Maybe if he used vocabulary from the porn videos, Dean would know what he meant. "Um, I want you to fuck me."

At that, once furrowed brows shot straight up. “Really?” he asked in a surprised, yet hopeful sounding tone.

Cas nodded slowly. "Yes… I want to feel as close as possible to you. Is that something you think we could do at some point?"

Dean nodded and cupped his cheek. “Definitely.”

Cas gave him a shy smile before he leaned forward and drew him into a deep kiss. He felt incredibly happy with where this was going between them. He chuckled against Dean's lips. "I think we should go back down, though I really just want to stay in bed with you."

Dean chuckled and sighed. “Yeah, guess we should face the music.”

Cas knew that phrase by now. "Do you think the others will be angry with us for leaving?"

“Nah, they’re just gonna be smug assholes,” he said with a laugh.

Cas raised his eyebrow as he sat up on the bed and grabbed Dean’s shirt to pull it on. “Do you think they’ll know what we did?”

Dean snorted as he pulled his pants on. “Yeah, Cas. They’re all gonna know.”

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, that’s okay.” He gave Dean a soft smile. “I love you. You’re mine now, so they have to deal with it.”

Dean chuckled as he buttoned another one of his shirts. “Damn straight…” he looked contemplative for a moment before he added, “well, maybe not  _ straight.” _

Cas chuckled and shook his head as he put his jeans back on. “You’re very funny.” He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him closer, for another kiss. “I think this is the happiest day of my life.”

Dean tucked his hands in Cas’s back pockets and braced their foreheads together. “You make every day happy.”

Cas gave him a bright smile. He had never dared to imagine this was how his future would look. That Dean could actually feel the same for him. He reluctantly drew back and kissed his cheek. “Just a few more hours before everyone will be tired. I’m counting the seconds until we’re alone again.”

With that, he winked at Dean before they made their way downstairs to their waiting family. As a real couple.


	6. Chapter 6

Because they had been so uncomfortably full from eating helping after helping of Cas’s amazing Thanksgiving dinner, they had opted to just cuddle that night. Which was just as well, because Dean was still reeling from the sheer amount of moving forward he and Cas had accomplished in one day. It was crazy how easily those three words slipped out, especially with the realization that he meant them.

While Dean Winchester might not have believed in the Disney version of falling in love, he found more and more that maybe there were variations of the idea; and maybe, just maybe, he and Cas were lucky enough to find that in each other.

When he woke up that morning, Cas clinging to his torso, head against his chest, he couldn’t help but smile. Dean liked their version of happy. He pushed the hair out of Cas’s eyes- hair that had lengthened, and honestly really suited him. 

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

He could see a smile tugging at Cas’s lips, though his eyes remained closed. Cas turned his head slightly to kiss his chest, mumbling something that sounded like, “Just five more minutes.”

Dean chuckled and shifted to lean in for a kiss on the lips. “If my bladder would cooperate, I’d let you.”

Cas made a protesting noise before he rolled off Dean, murmuring, “Are you coming back?”

“Unless you need me to make your coffee?” he offered as he sat up on the bed.

Cas’s hand sleep drunkenly reached for Dean’s wrist to hold him in place. “Hmm, no, just want you.”

Dean chuckled again. “You got me, baby.”

Cas let go of him and vanished under the blanket with a contented sigh, just his messed up hair peeking out. The guy was like a cat sometimes. 

“Damn, I love you,” he breathed out in a soft laugh.

Cas looked out from the blanket with a sleepy expression and a smile. “I love you too.”

Dean leaned over to kiss his forehead. “Keep the bed warm.” 

He cursed his generosity at giving his brother his own room as he slipped down the stairs in his boxers and a half open robe. Dean made it back to Cas in record time and slipped under the covers, immediately sticking his cold feet against Cas’s warm legs.

Cas startled and quickly pulled his legs away with an adorably funny shriek. “You’re freezing!” he complained as he turned to look at him with a pout.

Dean cupped his cheek and drew closer. “Then warm me up.”

The pout turned into a smile before Cas slid closer and kissed his cheek. He let his lips wander down his throat and towards his collarbone, murmuring, “I could do this all day.”

Dean hummed in appreciation. “I could let ya’.”

“We could just stay here,” Cas mumbled between kisses. “Maybe everyone will forget about us,” he added before he playfully licked over his nipple, moving down towards his stomach.

Dean groaned as he carded his hand through Cas’s hair. “I’m okay with that.”

Cas gave him a quick smile before his lips continued their journey downwards, kissing along the hem of Dean’s boxers before he looked up with questioning eyes. “I–I want to kiss you everywhere.”

The image alone had Dean squirming, but Cas’s pleading tone was the sexiest goddamn thing he had ever heard. He nodded and breathed out a soft, “Fuck yes.”

Cas gave him a smile as he slowly pulled down Dean’s boxer shorts, taking his time to kiss every inch of revealed skin on his legs, but avoiding coming near his dick until the boxers were off. When they were off, Cas licked over his lips before he carefully kissed the head of his dick, and wrapped his lips around it, starting to suck and lick it.

“Oh, fuck, Cas…” Dean groaned, syllables elongated and staggered from the sheer intensity of pleasure. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a blow job, and damn, he hoped he was able to last longer than a pubescent teenager.

Cas moaned around him, rocking his hips against Dean’s leg, as he tried to suck him deeper into his mouth, quickening the pace. A tortuously good up and down motion. He looked like he was really having fun.

Dean wasn’t going to last, there was no way. Especially when Cas remembered he could move his tongue. Dean groaned and couldn’t stop himself from bucking into the wet heat, a gasp and Cas’s name on his lips in urgency. “I’m gonna come, fuck…”

Cas made an affirmative sound, but didn’t pull back, he just continued sucking and licking him down.

He clearly wanted to swallow, and Dean couldn’t hold back any longer. The groan that escaped his chest was deep and satisfied as his hips shuddered with his orgasm. “Cas!”

Cas made a noise of surprise and his movement faltered for a moment before he eagerly sucked him through the pulses of his orgasm. He was breathing hard when he let go of Dean, looking up with a dazed expression, a little bit of Dean's come running down his chin. "Was that… did I do that right?"

“Sweet fucking Christ,” he breathed out in an amazed laugh, as he braced his hand at the back of Cas’s neck and pulled him in for a needy kiss. He could taste himself on Cas’s tongue and it was the fucking best. Dean drew back, forehead braced against Cas’s as he murmured, “You made me come in under a couple of minutes. Pretty sure that should speak for itself.”

Cas gave him a bright smile before he shrugged shyly. "I wasn't sure, but I'm glad you liked it. I've never done that before."

“It was so fucking hot,” he breathed out as he took charge then, finally feeling brave enough to do so. Dean drew him in for a kiss as he slipped his hand between them and gripped his cock. “You had me on edge with your enthusiasm alone.”

Cas gasped into the kiss that turned into a mewled needy groan. "Dean, oh… yes." 

Dean pumped him a little faster. “Love the sounds you make.”

Cas gasped and pressed closer with a whimper. Dean could feel the moment Cas was going to come all over his hand, his name on his lips was just a bonus.

Dean stroked him through his orgasm, pressing kiss after kiss to his lips. “Can’t wait to taste you,” he breathed out. And it was kind of a mind fuck how much he meant it.

Cas raised his eyebrow in obvious surprise. "You don't have to… just because I did it."

“I want to, babe,” he assured, giving him a soft smile. “There’s a lot I want to try with you.”

Cas shuddered slightly, and Dean could see he had goosebumps all over his arm. "That's, um, good to know. There is another thing I want to do with you. Would you… take a shower with me?"

Dean hummed in contented affirmation as he pressed a kiss against his pulse point. “If you let me wash you,” he murmured before he gently bit down.

Cas groaned and nodded, his fingers slipping to Dean's back to softly slide over his skin. "Yes, of course," he breathed out.

“Then what’re we waiting for?” Dean didn’t so much ask, as he growled.

Cas chuckled as he rubbed his hand over the area Dean had left a tiny bruise with his lips. “I didn’t want to disturb you eating me.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “That was real kind of ya’.”

Cas sat up and pulled Dean up with him. “It’s more self preservation. Early on I learned two important lessons with you. One, to never wake you up, and second, to never disturb you when you eat. You’re like an angry bear in both cases.”

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter. He gave Cas a salacious smirk and growled, “Rawr.”

Cas gave him a shy smile before he shook his head. “Why is that so attractive?” He asked in awe as he reached out for Dean’s hand and pulled him off the bed with him, picking up some fresh clothes with his free hand.

“‘Cause you’re crazy about me,” he purred in his ear before gently biting the lobe.

The clothes slipped from Cas’s hand as he turned around with a needy whimper and drew him into a kiss, pressing his whole body against Dean. And yep, Cas was hard again.

Dean easily lifted Cas up, his back now against the door as he deepened the kiss. When Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, Dean couldn’t help but possessively squeeze the guy’s really nice ass. 

Cas’s breathing hitched, his kiss turned even more needy as he moaned Dean’s name against his lips.

“I’m crazy about you too,” he murmured, his dick now starting to wake up again.

“Dean.” Cas buried his fingers in Dean’s hair, when he leaned back a little to look at him. “I love you.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile at the way those words made his heart swell. “Ditto, angel.”

Dean could feel the smile on Cas’s face when he drew him into another kiss, wrapping his arms around him to be closer.

“We’re never gonna make it to the bathroom,” he murmured against Cas’s lips with a chuckle.

“Not unless you put me down again.” Cas nuzzled himself against Dean’s face, not really sounding like he wanted Dean to do that.

Dean chuckled and reluctantly let Cas down. “While I’d like to do this all day, I’m kind of psyched to feel your wet, naked skin against mine.”

Cas hummed and gave him a charming smile. “What are we waiting for?” he asked before he picked up their clothes from the floor.

Dean couldn’t stop himself from squeezing Cas’s ass as he bent over. “You’re distracting.”

Cas looked over his shoulder and raised his eyebrow. “Since when?”

“Since always,” he confessed. Cas was always a distraction for Dean.

Cas looked confused by that admission. He reached out for Dean’s hand with a tilted head. “I thought you only recently liked me like this,” he wondered out loud.

Dean took his hand and shrugged. “While I’ve only recently embraced my attraction to you, I think it’s always been there. I just never realized what it was.”

“I had no idea,” Cas breathed out before he gave him a soft smile, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad you realized it.”

“It’s kinda crazy,” he said as he opened the door and dragged Cas out of the room with him.

They quickly vanished into the bathroom, and Cas immediately drew him into a fervent kiss as he closed and locked the door behind them. “You make me crazy.”

Dean chuckled. “Same, angel,” he murmured as he lifted Cas onto the counter and closed the distance between them again.

“I thought… hmm,” Cas hummed before he continued between kisses, “we wanted to shower?”

“Did we?” he growled as he started trailing the kisses a little lower, hitting his pulse point before gently sucking the skin between his teeth.

Cas gasped before he made a beautifully needy sound, offering more access to his neck. “I don’t know anymore,” he murmured with a soft moan. “What are you doing to me?”

Dean chuckled before he drew back a little, admiring the purplish skin in the wake of his ministrations. “You make me feel like a goofy teenager, so I’m acting like one.”

Cas tilted his head. “I’ve never been a teenager, so I don't know what that means.” He gave him a shy smile. “But I like what you are doing very much.”

“It’s called a hickey, basically marking you as mine,” he said with a soft chuckle as he cupped Cas’s cheek.

Cas gave him another shy smile. “I don’t know why… but I like that a lot. When you say things like that… that I’m yours.” Cas leaned forward to kiss him again. “It makes me believe that you really want to share your future with me… like this. That I’m not going to lose you.”

Dean furrowed his brow as he drew back slightly. “Do you really think that could happen? That I’d leave you?”

“I was afraid it would happen eventually. That you would meet someone and… wouldn’t need me anymore.”

“Who am I gonna meet?” Dean asked with an incredulous chuckle.

Cas shrugged and looked embarrassed. “A woman?” he suggested quietly.

“Cas, I love  _ you.”  _ Dean gave him a pointed look.

Cas gave him a bright smile before he replied, “Yes, I know that now. But it still seems like I’m living in a very nice dream.” 

Dean chuckled. “Want me to pinch you?”

“Why would I want that?” Cas asked with a confused look, but he still smiled.

“To prove you’re not dreaming.”

"I'm pretty sure that doesn't prove anything other than it would hurt," Cas replied thoughtfully.

Dean chuckled and cupped his cheek. “I promise to never purposely hurt you.”

Cas leaned into his hand before he slipped off of the counter, and pulled him towards the shower with a playful smile. Damn, Dean really liked the way that looked on him. "I won't either, Dean. I promise," he replied before he started the shower, holding his hand under it, waiting for it to warm up.

“I know you won’t.” 

Cas pulled him under the water with him, and Dean enjoyed the view of the water flattening Cas's messy hair before he followed the trail of water down Cas's defined lines and muscles. Cas gave him a shy look before he stepped closer and kissed him, murmuring, "You're very attractive." 

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter. “You’re fucking smoking.”

Cas gave him a shy smile before he looked down and let out a soft sigh. “I think I will miss Feathers a lot. He is a very funny bird.”

Dean returned the smile and nodded. “Mouthy fucker grew on me, too.”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you too,” Cas replied before he grabbed the shampoo and poured some into his hand, starting to wash his hair.

Dean started helping him massage his scalp as he dipped down to press another kiss to his lips. “Guess I have that effect on species with wings.”

Cas hummed and closed his eyes, obviously enjoying what Dean was doing as he murmured, “I know a lot of angels that didn’t like you at all.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “Yeah? Well, that feeling was mutual.”

Cas grinned at him before he wrapped his arms around him, gently pulling him closer. "I've got you all to myself."

Dean was a little lost in a sea of empathetic blue. He stepped closer and drew Cas in for a slow, languid kiss, taking his time learning every curve of Cas’s lips.

He could feel Cas relax into the kiss, his fingers tracing the lines of his muscles up Dean’s back as he moaned into the kiss.

“Love kissing you,” Dean murmured against his lips as he pushed Cas against the wall.

Cas gasped, playfully biting Dean’s lower lip as he breathed out, "Me too. You make me forget every thought I had."

Dean couldn’t believe how much he enjoyed touching Cas, feeling him against his naked skin. It was still kind of crazy, being intimate with a man, but the more he explored with Cas, the more he liked it. He trailed his right hand down Cas’s torso. “Every thought?” he asked in a soft purr against his lips.

"Yeah,'" he breathed out. "You replaced them with a lot of urges though."

“Urges, huh?” He smirked as he caressed Cas’s hip.

Cas groaned softly and nodded, his fingers gripping tighter against Dean’s back. "Yes… I want to feel you touch me… everywhere."

“Like?” he asked with a knowing growl as he looked down between them, licking his lips at the sight of Cas’s cock.

Instead of answering, Cas grabbed Dean’s wrist and pulled his hand to his erection with a growl. "Stop teasing me."

Dean let out a surprised, yet impressed, laugh before he started stroking him. “Yes, sir,” he murmured as he kissed him again.

Cas gasped and gripped Dean’s shoulder, drawing him into a deep kiss before he moaned, "I want to make you come with my mouth again."

Without missing a beat, Dean slowly dropped to his knees, stroking Cas as he came face to face with his dick. “Me first,” he breathed out before tentatively licking the head of his dick, heart hammering against his rib cage.

"You don’t have to, Dean," Cas gasped out needily, sliding his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Not an obligation,” he murmured before wrapping his lips around the head. The taste of his precome was a little bitter, a little strange, but overall not terrible. Dean grew bolder and started sucking, trying by using tricks he always liked when used on him.

"Dean," Cas groaned out, dropping his head back against the wall before he looked down at him, his lower lip trapped between his teeth with a beautifully lustful expression. "Feels so good."

Dean hummed in agreement as he started stroking himself in time with bobbing his head, surprised how easily sucking a cock seemed to come to him.

"I'm close, Dean," Cas warned as he gripped Dean’s hair a little tighter.

At first he wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready for that. To swallow another guy’s load, but he quickly realized it wasn’t any more gay than having a cock in his mouth, and used the little tongue trick he’d picked up from Rhonda Hurley as he doubled down on his efforts, fucking his own fist, he was so turned on.

"Uh, Dean," was all the warning Cas gave before he came in Dean’s mouth.

The bitter taste on his tongue might have been distracting if he hadn’t come shortly after, groaning around Cas’s cock as he sucked him dry.

Cas was breathing hard when he leaned back against the wall, carding his fingers through Dean’s hair before he made a surprised sound. "Oh, you already came?"

Dean let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t know why, but fuck… it turned me on to suck your dick.”

Cas pulled him up, and into a deep kiss before he hummed, "I can't be disappointed about that, I guess."

Dean chuckled and let out a contented sigh. “We’ve got all the time in the world to try new things.”

"You're right." Cas gave him another smile before his expression turned thoughtful. "I must confess that I'm nervous about… Having penetrative sex with you… Even though I really want it."

Dean cupped his cheek, he was damn nervous too. “There’s no rush.”

Cas nodded shyly. "I want to, though. It’s just so far out of my experience… But thinking of it being with you, that I'll be that much closer to you… It makes me want to try it so much more."

Dean nodded as he turned the shower off, and grabbed them each a towel. “Well, whenever you’re ready for that step, just say the word.”

Cas gave him a long look when Dean wrapped him in a towel. "I am ready. Just a little nervous."

Dean leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Maybe when we have the house to ourselves again?”

Cas gave him a bright smile. "That's a perfect idea. I read we’ll need a lot of time for the first time."

“Until then, we can practice,” he murmured as he playfully nipped Cas’s bottom lip.

Cas replied with a beatific smile. “That’s a very good idea.”

Dean chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. “So, one last breakfast with Feathers’ annoying commentary?”

"I know that you don't actually think he is annoying. I saw you laugh quite a few times at things he’s said." Cas gave him a pointed look, and Dean could see that he was putting on a brave face. Cas seemed to be more down about letting Feathers go than he tried to let on.

Dean gently grasped his hand. “We could give it a few more days, make sure he’s really healed?”

Cas shook his head with a resigned expression. "I’ve put it off long enough. He is ready. He needs to be free."

With the newfound knowledge of what happened to Cas’s wings, and the eerie comparison to the bird’s experience, Dean couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Between the actual physical destruction of Cas’s wings, and the metaphorical destruction of his relationship with his home, Cas was stuck. And even though he said he didn’t want to be anywhere else, Dean couldn’t help but wonder how much of that was due to the fact that he  _ literally  _ had nowhere else to go.

Dean cupped his cheek and gave him a pointed look. “Are we still talking about the sarcastic bird?”

Cas gave him a soft nod. "I will miss him. But I want him to have the freedom to go where he wants to be. There is nothing more important than that to gain happiness." His smile grew wider as he cupped Dean's cheek. "I should know. I'm finally free to be with you."

“So, I’m not you making the best of a broken pair of wings?” Dean asked, hating how scared he was. Still scared Cas would leave again.

Cas frowned at him. "Of course not." He tilted his head before his tone turned a little sarcastic. "You know I'm able to drive a car, right? I don't need wings to be somewhere else."

Dean let out a derisive snort. “Never stopped you before.” He sighed and shook his head. “I just… I just wanted to make sure.”

Cas sighed and leaned forward to kiss him. A soft, lingering gesture. "Dean, you're the most important person in my life, and this here… living with you, is my personal Heaven."

“Heaven on Earth, huh?” he murmured as he pulled Cas closer. Now in an embrace as they slowly swayed together, a towel clad version of a slow dance. Dean soaked it all in, a lazy and pretty damn awesome start to their day.

Dean didn't expect Cas to hum suddenly before he sang,  _ "Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth." _

Dean drew back with a surprised huff of laughter. “Of all the songs you found on your own, Belinda Carlisle? Really?”

"I heard it on the radio and it felt like she was singing about my life. Especially the part, 'you lift me up,' because you seem to like doing that with me."

As corny as it was, Dean was touched by that comment. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy. To underline Cas’s point, he lifted him onto the counter and kissed him again. “It’s true.”

They were all out in the garden after breakfast with Cas, to see Feathers finally fly free again. It was a cold November morning, and Cas rubbed his hands together to warm them up before he carefully opened the bindings around Feathers’ wings, while holding him in a tight grip with his other hand so he would stay calm. 

Even though Feathers was usually quite calm in his presence, he didn't want him to startle and hurt himself. When he removed the last binding, he put Feathers down on the porch handrail, enviably watching as Feathers suddenly spread his wings and shook himself. He felt a little guilty for how much he envied him for his wings in that moment, a painful reminder of how much he missed his own.

Feathers didn't fly away though, much to his surprise. He imitated a few bird calls, and walked around on the handrail before he croaked, "Do Cas, do Cas."

Everyone broke out into laughter. Cas gave Dean a confused look. "I still don't understand why that is funny."

Dean sighed as he narrowed his eyes at Feathers before turning to Cas. “Doing someone is, uh… it implies sex, Cas.”

"Oh," Cas replied and he knew he was blushing when Sam gave him a surprised look. Before it could get more embarrassing, he changed the subject and stepped closer to Feathers. "You are free. You can go now."

Feathers tilted his head and blinked at him, before he spread his wings and flew up into the sky. 

Cas stepped back and looked up, appreciating how Dean grabbed his hand to squeeze it, a comforting gesture as they all watched Feathers soar higher and higher. "I will miss him very much," he murmured, "it was nice to have a pet."

When the sound of wings flapping grew closer, he was surprised to see Feathers had landed on the handrail again, now making the noises of a chicken before he crowed like a rooster.

Cas gave Dean a confused look. "He came back."

Dean furrowed his brow and looked at Feathers. “You’re free, dumbass.”

"Fre-e-e-ee," Feathers croaked and started to clean his wings. 

Sam chuckled and clapped Cas's shoulder. "Maybe he likes it here. I mean, you fed him. And he’s a smart bird."

Dean shrugged and gave Cas a smile. “Looks like we still have a pet.”

Cas gave Dean a wide eyed smile. "You think he will really stay, and we can keep him?" 

“Well, if he’s still hanging around by this evening, I think that’ll be your answer,” Dean said before pressing a kiss to his nose. 

Cas couldn't help but hope that was the case, that Feathers had decided that he liked it here. "I hope he will. It would be weird if he didn’t sing his commentary at breakfast."

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, whatever will we do without the sound of a chainsaw?”

Cas gave him a pointed look. "You laughed for five minutes when he made that sound while I was slicing bread."

“In my defense, the damn bird has pretty good comedic timing,” Dean countered with a smirk.

“Maybe you could learn from him, Dean?” Claire suggested with a sassy grin.

Dean quirked his brow. “You’re better than that pathetic attempt at an insult.”

"You're better," Feathers croaked at Claire, resulting in her crossing her arms over her chest and pouting.

"See if I give you a treat again."

Feathers whistled and flapped his wings again before he cackled like a hyena.

"Where did he even learn that?" Sam asked before he signed to Eileen what Feathers had done.

Cas sighed deeply before he turned to Sam. "He watched the National Geographic Channel with me. He can also mimic an elephant.”

Dean nodded and laughed. “He fucks with Cas and mimics the Impala too.”

Cas nodded with a smile. "I have no idea how he does that. It sounds so real, and I always run happily to the door just to realize he did it again."

Claire laughed. “That’s probably the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

"It's not cute." Cas crossed his arms over his chest too. He felt so disappointed everytime it wasn't Dean. Especially when one of the days he had wanted to greet Dean at the door with pie in his hand only to find Feathers had tricked him. It happened five times that day. The sixth time he heard the sound, he didn’t react to it, and of course it had actually been Dean.

Eileen smiled sweetly and signed as she said, “It is cute. Very sweet.”

Cas gave her a pointed look. "If you had planned to greet Sam with a homemade pie at the door when he came home, only to miss the opportunity because your pet bird kept pretending to be the car, you wouldn't think of it as cute, believe me."

In that moment there was a chorus of, “Awww!” from all of the girls. 

Dean chuckled and pulled Cas into his arms. “Ignore them.” 

“At least you understand me,” Cas murmured as he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and kissed his throat. 

“Since Feathers isn’t going anywhere, how about we go back inside again? I’m freezing my butt off,” Claire complained.

Cas pulled away from Dean, suddenly feeling concerned. “We should build a birdhouse for him, with food. What do you think? That way he can stay outside and always have a place to come back to?”

Dean smiled and nodded. “I think Lynds is into woodworking. I could talk to her?”

“Or we could… you know, try it ourselves? Just the two of us,” Cas suggested quietly as the others went back into the house again.

“If you want it to look like crap, I’m game.” Dean smiled and reached out to pet Feathers’ head.

“Why would it look like crap? I’m very good at following instructions. I’m sure we’ll find something on the internet,” Cas elaborated before he gave Dean a quick smile. “And it would be nice to build something together.” 

Dean held his hand and returned the smile. “We already have.”

Dean was right. They had built a life here. Cas squeezed his hand. "Yes, we have. But I still want to build a birdhouse with you. We make a good team."

“Damn right we do,” he replied as he spun Cas around before drawing him in close. Dean flashed him one of his rare, bright smiles. “I’m happy, Cas.”

Dean’s smile was infectious, and a blind man could have seen the happiness radiating from Dean. It was hard to believe that he was a reason for Dean feeling that way. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. To make you happy.”

Dean let out a soft laugh and nodded. “Thank you for making my life better.”

Cas looked down, feeling embarrassed. “You don’t need to thank me for that. Especially since you do the same for me.”

Feathers croaked like a crow and shook his wings before he flew up to the cherry tree. Cas was looking forward to seeing it full of fruit next summer. He smiled as he looked up. “For as long as we don't have the bird house, I’ll put his food out here. So he knows he’s always welcome here.”

Dean hummed thoughtfully before he pulled the sliding glass door open and suddenly Feathers flew into the house. He laughed and shrugged. “Looks like you won’t have to.”

Feathers sat down on the backrest of an empty chair, enjoying his favorite past time of watching the running TV in fascination. “I guess he knows that this is his home now,” Cas commented with a smile before his gaze fell to the clock. In a few hours Sam and Eileen would be boarding their flight back to California. The holidays were always over so fast.

“I love this damn bird,” Claire said with a laugh as she dropped herself onto the couch next to Kaia, gently draping her legs over her girlfriend’s lap.

"Son of a bitch," Feathers croaked before he flew to his cage on the window sill, eating food from his bowl.

"Wonder where he learned that." Cas raised an eyebrow as he looked at Dean 

Dean shrugged, lips pursed in feigned innocence. “No idea.”

Sam and Eileen went upstairs to pack the rest of their clothes, and Cas busied himself in the kitchen cleaning up. Soon they would have the house to themselves again, and the thought left him with a weird tingling sensation in his stomach. He knew it was partly nervousness, but also anticipation. 

He sighed in contentment when Dean's strong arms snaked around him and pulled him close from behind. He leaned his head against Dean's shoulder. "I love our life here."

Dean chuckled and hummed into his ear. “Ditto.”

Cas still got goosebumps whenever Dean did that, and he chuckled lowly at the feeling before he turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's chin. "Claire said she wanted to drive Sam and Eileen. I said I would ask you first. I know you wanted to drive them to the airport."

“So, we’d be alone sooner?” he whispered before gently biting Cas’s ear lobe.

Cas's heart made a sudden jump and he gasped. "Yeah."

Dean drew back and called out, “Sammy! Claire’s driving you guys to the airport!”

Cas would be lying if he said Dean preferring to spend time with him instead of his brother wasn't an especially amazing feeling. 

Sam called down from the stairs, "Alright!"

"Jerk!" Feathers croaked from the living room.

Dean barked out a laugh. “Bitch!” he called out before turning Cas to face him in their embrace. “Looks like our night alone’ll start in about half an hour.”

Cas swallowed dryly. "Um, but it's not night," he replied slowly. Okay, so maybe the nervous part was slightly outweighing the anticipation.

“Guess I’ll have to teach you what Afternoon Delight means,” he chuckled as he drew Cas in for a gentle kiss.

Cas hummed against Dean's lips. Those kisses still made him weak in the knees. He had no idea what an Afternoon Delight was, but he was pretty sure it was something related to sex. When he leaned back, he felt a little breathless. "Okay, I can't wait."

Dean laughed again and tapped Cas’s lips with his index finger. “Hold that thought. Don’t want a boner when I hug my brother goodbye.”

Cas wasn't proud of himself for doing it, but he couldn't help wrapping his lips around Dean's finger and suggestively sucking it.

Dean let out a soft groan that turned into a dark chuckle. “Now that’s just not fair.”

Cas slowly released Dean's finger, his eyes never leaving Dean's. "I would say I'm sorry, but it wouldn't reflect how I really feel."

“Fuckin’ tease,” Dean said with a tilt of his lips.

Cas replied with a grin, kissing the tip of Dean's finger. "You started it."

Dean smiled and dipped down to replace his finger with his lips. “Maybe you should stop being sexy.”

"Ugh, can you guys stop being gross for a second?" Claire complained, leaning against the door frame. "Uncle Moose and Eileen are ready to go."

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “I regret telling her those nicknames Crowley had for us.”

“You once said yourself that moose was very fitting every time Sam was clumsy.” 

“I heard that!” Sam complained from the door.

“Don’t mean it ain’t true,” Dean said with a smirk.

Sam came into the kitchen and drew Dean into a tight hug. “I’m happy for you,” he whispered before he drew back and said a little more loudly, “Take care, and for Christmas, you come visit us.” He let go of him before he hugged Cas. “If Dean’s an idiot to you, you can come live with us,” Sam added with a smirk. 

Eileen nodded enthusiastically. “You could teach me how to bake.”

Cas chuckled and wrapped his arm around Dean. “I can teach you, but I’m not leaving Dean for anything.”

Dean poked his tongue out at Sam. “See? Mine.”

"Alright, alright." Sam held up his hands, which caused Cas to laugh before he hugged Eileen.

"Thank you, though. It's nice to know I'm welcome at your place, and of course we’ll come at Christmas," Cas promised. 

_ “California Christmas time,”  _ Dean started singing as he pulled his brother in for another hug.

They accompanied everyone to the door. Cas gave Eileen a paper bag with leftovers for their journey home, and another one to Kaia, so they could eat something  _ other  _ than pizza for once.

Claire gave him a wink before she looked at Dean. "Don't think I didn't notice the hickey on Cas's neck. Aren't you too old for that?"

Dean braced his palm on Claire’s face and pushed her away. “No judgement in my house.”

Claire made a very funny noise, and pushed Dean's hand from her face before she scrunched up her nose. "I'm judging so hard right now, and  _ technically,  _ I'm standing outside of your house, so…” 

Cas chuckled when Claire walked backwards from the porch with a grin, holding up her car keys. When she turned to Cas, her gaze turned softer. "I'll text you when we're back."

"Thank you." Claire knew by know that he worried when he hadn't heard from her after a long car ride. 

He looked up and waved at Sam and Eileen, who were getting into the car, before he stepped closer to Dean and leaned his weight against his shoulder. Saying goodbye was always weird for him. He reminded himself that he would see Sam and Eileen in a month. And Claire no later than when she needed to plunder their fridge for food.

“We’ve got an awesome, yet weird lookin’ family,” Dean said with a soft laugh as he wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist.

"Weird?" Cas asked with a questioning expression. 

“Well, we’ve got Gigantor, angry Rainbow Brite, their quiet yet secretly badass girlfriend-slash-wife, then we’ve got you and me.”

"In other words. A perfect family," Cas replied with a shrug before he winked at Dean.

They waited for the car to disappear around the corner before Cas leaned up to kiss Dean's cheek, and pulled him inside again. It really was getting cold.

Dean smiled and lifted Cas into his arms. “Alone at last.”

Cas hadn't expected Dean to immediately start being physically close to him. He gasped and leaned forward, drawing him into a kiss, his heart beating a million miles per hour. “What… um, what do you want to do?”

“Wanna be able to make out with my boyfriend without being interrupted,” he murmured as he carried Cas to the couch.

"Do Cas, do Cas!" Feathers croaked.

“That too,” he said with a laugh as he gently dropped Cas onto the couch and crawled over him. 

Cas spread his legs so Dean could comfortably lay on top of him before he pulled him into a needy kiss. His whole body was trembling from excitement, and he had no idea how to stop it. So he wrapped his arms around Dean to hold him close, reminding himself again that this was Dean, and he was in safe hands. He trusted Dean with everything. 

Cas reached up as he started unbuttoning Dean’s shirt. He wanted to feel Dean’s skin against his own. 

Dean smiled as he slipped his hand under Cas’s shirt, pushing it up. “So hot,” he murmured under his breath.

“It’s not that warm in here,” Cas stated in confusion as he pushed Dean’s shirt from his shoulders. He then helped Dean pull his own shirt over his head.

“You’re hot, dork,” he murmured fondly as he pressed a kiss to Cas’s neck.

Cas knew he was blushing from the way his face felt. He liked it when Dean said things like that. Though, he really loved how Dean would kiss his neck. Dean was making him crazy with want. He wasn't even sure what he wanted exactly, but his lips moaned Dean's name without consulting his brain, so his body seemed to know. Although he still felt nervous, he knew he was ready to go further with Dean. "Dean, I…” He leaned up and kissed his soft lips before he confessed, "I want you." 

“Want you too, baby,” he breathed out as he drew him in for another, slightly more frantic kiss.

Hearing those words made his heart flutter like a young bird learning to fly. Not just because Dean wanted him, but because of the term of endearment. "I love you," he murmured, his hands sliding down to Dean's jeans, opening them.

“Fuck…” Dean groaned as Cas’s hand came into contact with his erection. “Me too,” he said as he leaned in to kiss Cas again.

Cas rubbed his palm over Dean's erection, the fabric of Dean's jeans still in the way, before he carefully grabbed the hem and pulled them down.

Dean kicked his pants off before he started tugging on Cas’s belt, pulling Cas up on his knees, leaning in to kiss him as he worked Cas’s jeans down. “I could kiss you for hours.”

"I would happily let you." Cas gasped, kicking his jeans off of the couch before he lost himself in Dean's kisses again. His hips moved on their own, rocking his erection against Dean, never once breaking contact.

Dean groaned before gently pushing Cas onto his back, diving in for a feverish kiss as his groin came into contact with Dean’s again, and again, with each movement. 

It was too much and not enough all at the same time, the fabric of their underwear still separating them. Cas moaned into the kiss, his hands sliding into Dean's boxershorts, squeezing his ass.

Dean drew back slightly, breath coming out in shaky pants. “Maybe we should take this to a bed?”

Cas nodded. "Yeah, good idea." When he leaned up, he noticed how much his body was trembling with excitement, so he took Dean's hand and gave him a shy smile. "Everytime you kiss me like that, you make my knees weak."

“You make me a cliche, too,” he said with a soft laugh, before he picked Cas up and draped him over his shoulder before climbing the stairs.

Cas chuckled all the way up. He wondered if Dean would be proud of him if he made a successful movie reference. "You Tarzan, me Jane?"

Dean stopped at the second to last step. “Did… did you just…”

"Yes, I did." Cas couldn't help but grin at Dean's disbelieving voice.

He took the last step up before dropping Cas to his feet. Before he could say anything, Dean had him up against the wall, a whirlwind of a kiss suddenly taking his breath away. “I friggin’ love you.”

Cas counted the reference as a win. He gave Dean a contented, and probably love sick, smile before he dragged Dean into his bedroom. "Then show me," he hummed.

“Oh, I intend to,” he growled as he gently shoved Cas onto the bed. He pulled down his boxers and kneeled on the edge of the bed before he went for Cas’s underwear.

Cas couldn't stop looking at Dean's engorged erection. He licked over his suddenly too dry lips, gasping when Dean pulled down his boxer shorts, freeing Cas from the last item of fabric that was separating them. Cas spread his legs again, looking at Dean with parted lips. "Kiss me?"

Dean nodded as he slotted himself between Cas’s legs, their bare erections coming into contact as Dean kissed him. 

Cas gasped into the kiss, sliding his arms around Dean as he pressed closer, softly rocking his hips upwards against Dean. It felt amazing to be so close to Dean, to feel his skin,  _ everywhere. _

“How far do you wanna go?” Dean breathed out as he cupped Cas’s pec before palming his nipple.

Cas moaned and arched his body against him. "As far as you want to. I'm ready for more," he confessed, knowing his face was flushed red again. He still felt stupid that he was embarrassed just thinking about sex.

Dean smiled down at him, gently caressing his torso before his hand slipped lower and grasped Cas’s erection. “I wanna do something; let me know if I should stop,” he said as he shifted, bringing his face to Cas’s groin.

He licked a trail down Cas’s shaft before his tongue playfully teased his balls. 

For a moment Cas was completely overwhelmed with how amazing it felt. He gasped, and a needy whimper escaped his lips as he tried his best to keep his hips still. "Uh, Dean," he moaned and spread his legs a little wider.

Suddenly heated breath was exhaled over his hole with Dean’s chuckle. “Haven’t done this in years.”

Cas gasped at the surge of pleasure he was feeling from just Dean being so close to his most sensitive body parts. “Dean… what are you–”

And before he could finish the thought, a warm wet appendage, likely Dean’s tongue, snaked out and licked over his hole before plunging in.

Cas gripped the bedsheets as he gasped, a quivering sound broken by the unadulterated lust he felt. “Dean! Uh…” He bit his lower lip, lifting his arms over his head to press his palms against the headboard. “Oh, Dean, mmmhh.” He wasn’t even able to think anymore.

Dean chuckled as he spread Cas’s cheeks further apart and plunged deeper, tongue circling inside him as he kneaded Cas’s cheeks.

Cas was certain he was losing it. All of his nerve endings were tingling, sending sparks of pleasure through his entire body. He knew he was rambling in between moans, crying out Dean’s name as his mind disintegrated from the sheer amount of lust. “Please, Dean,” he begged. He wanted to feel more of Dean.

Dean drew back, pressing a kiss to his inner thigh before he said, “Want me to… uh… get you ready?”

Cas could hear his blood rushing in his ears, his heart beating erratically as he nodded. “Yes, please. I need you,” he replied breathlessly.

Dean nodded and got off of the bed to round to his side's night stand. He pulled out a purple bottle, his smile was sweet and assuring. “How much did you learn while researching cream pies?” he asked with a soft laugh.

Cas returned the smile and shook his head. “I didn’t learn what lubrication is from those videos, but I did my own research a few days ago. I know what I'm asking for.”

Dean leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Okay, baby.”

When Dean leaned back, Cas hoped Dean wouldn’t hear the worry in his voice. “My research didn’t answer one question though. Um, will it hurt?”

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’s knee. “If we go slow, it might be uncomfortable.”

That didn’t sound too bad. Cas tried to relax, leaning back against the pillow. “I can’t wait to feel you.”

Dean settled between Cas’s legs. “Fuck, I can’t believe it’s going to happen,” he breathed out in awe as he popped off the cap of the lubrication.

Cas leaned up to kiss him. “Me neither. I must confess, I’ve thought a lot about this moment for quite some time now.”

“Really?” Dean asked, tone almost shy and insecure.

“Yes,” Cas confessed with a soft smile, “especially every time you held me at night, and kissed my neck. It provoked a few thoughts and wishes in that direction.” Sometimes Cas had trouble falling asleep those nights, because his mind had been full of thoughts like how much he wished Dean would kiss him more before rolling him over on the bed to take him.

Dean chuckled as he poured the contents of the bottle onto his fingers and started rubbing them together. “I almost wonder what stopped us…”

“If you hadn’t overheard my conversation with Sam, we probably would have never ended up here.” He looked down, biting his lower lip before he added, “I never wanted you to know about my feelings.”

Dean gently parted his cheeks before he carefully started smearing the lubrication on his hole. “If I hadn’t overheard you, I don’t know if I would’ve faced my feelings.”

Cas gasped and closed his eyes for a moment. The way Dean was touching him already cancelled out his higher brain functions. He hummed and nodded. “It’s really fortunate that you heard us then.”

Dean chuckled as the tip of his finger slowly started pushing at his tight ring of muscle. “Fuck, baby.”

Cas leaned back against the pillow again, trying to relax, to let Dean in. It felt weird – a slight burn – but at the same time, it was so exciting when Dean touched him there. His body was shivering with lust. “Dean… can you kiss me again?”

Dean nodded and as he leaned forward to kiss Cas, his digit slowly pushed inside of him.

Cas moaned into the kiss, his body reacting on instinct as he tried to pull away from the intrusion at first, but he forced himself to stay and relax, concentrating on the kiss and the way Dean’s tongue felt. It wouldn’t be long, and Dean would be inside of him. That thought made him shiver again, a trail of goosebumps rising on his arms. 

Dean gently started moving the digit inside of him. “You’re so tight,” he groaned.

Cas gasped against Dean’s lips before he replied breathlessly, “Do you think this will work?” He couldn’t help but worry. Dean’s erection was rather large.

“We’ll take it slow, and if you aren’t ready, we wait. Simple as that.”

“Okay,” Cas breathed out, pulling Dean into another kiss. “I hope this will work. I want you so much, Dean.”

“Me too,” he murmured as he started getting deeper, a second digit gently pushing at his entrance.

And suddenly Dean touched something in him that made him see stars. Cas couldn’t help but gasp out Dean’s name. “Uh, that feels… do that again.”

Dean grinned when he did it again. 

“Uhhh, f–” Cas gasped, pressing his head back into the pillow as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of what Dean was doing to him. He instantly started to relax again under the spark of pleasure, and it didn’t even hurt when Dean worked a second finger into him. He just felt full, a delicious pressure. “Dean, this feels so good.”

“Good,” he murmured as he leaned in for another kiss before scissoring his fingers, stretching Cas even further.

Cas was writhing under Dean’s ministrations. He couldn’t stop moaning his name, begging for more. He had never felt like this before. This wasn’t anything like the one time he had sex with a woman, and not even close to what he had witnessed when Lucifer possessed him. He was immensely grateful for that. 

Being with Dean was completely different. He felt safe, and closer to Dean than he could have ever imagined.

Dean groaned a soft, “Fuck, Cas. You make the best sounds.”

Cas had no idea why Dean liked how he sounded, but it didn’t matter as long as Dean liked it. He wanted Dean to like him. He wanted to affect Dean the same way Dean affected him. Dean was driving him crazy, constant, teasing pressure over his prostate. Cas had never believed sex could feel so good. So good it even canceled out the stretch and burn from when Dean worked a third finger into him. “Dean, oh… can’t wait to feel you.” He needed more. He needed Dean.

“Just a little more stretching; I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathed out as he slowly started thrusting his fingers in and out.

Cas pulled him into a needy, deep kiss, rocking his hips up to get Dean’s fingers deeper. At the same time his mind was chanting, reminding him that this was Dean he was doing this with. Dean, who made him feel like he was losing his mind. “Dean,” he gasped, “I love you, please… please, I’m ready.”

“You sure?” he asked, breath heavy and tone slightly ragged from his own apparent need.

“Yes, please. I’m sure. I need you.” Cas hoped those three words were as hard to resist as they were for Cas.

Dean groaned and nodded as he drew back to slick up his cock. He shifted and slowly started pushing the head of his erection against his pucker. He let out a breathy laugh. “I hope I don’t come the second I’m inside you.”

Cas spread his legs even wider, giving him a flirty smile. “Then we’ll just have to do it again.”

As the head of his erection pushed inside, Dean let out a deep, guttural moan. “Oh, fuck.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, trying to pull him down, pull him closer. Dean was so big, and it burned a little, but Cas didn’t care. He was having sex with Dean, and just that thought made his heart beat faster, causing him to moan as the girth stretched him further, slowly sliding deeper inside of him. 

There was a somewhat animalistic urge that was entirely new to Cas when he felt a surge of lust at the thought of Dean coming inside of him. Dean would truly mark him as his own. He growled before he pulled Dean in for a hungry kiss.

Dean moaned into the kiss as he bottomed out. “Fuck, fuck, I don’t know how long I’ll last, baby.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cas moaned, playfully biting Dean’s lip. “Just… fuck me.” 

“Oh, fuck,” he murmured as he slowly started thrusting.

With every thrust, Cas felt sparks of pleasure course through his body, making him feel like he was about to come. He gasped and moaned when he looked into Dean’s beautiful eyes. “Dean, this… So good. I’m close.”

He gripped Cas’s cock and started stroking him in time with his thrusts. “Come for me, baby.”

“Dean, uhhh!” Cas cried out. He couldn’t hold back any longer, and succumbed to the pleasure, coming all over Dean’s hand and his own stomach.

Dean groaned, and after a couple more thrusts, his hips stilled as he yanked Cas in for a kiss.

Cas moaned into it, feeling light and sated, and just… happy. Dean was still inside of him, he could feel him everywhere. It was incredible. He smiled against Dean’s lips and chuckled. “That was amazing. I’ve never felt so good in my entire life.”

Dean chuckled. “We fucking did it.”

Cas leaned back a little to look at Dean. He couldn’t help but mirror the smile he saw on Dean’s face. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “We did. It’s weird. I don’t even know anymore why I was so afraid of doing this with you.”

Dean shook his head in amazement. “Me either. We kinda fit perfectly,” he said as he wiggled his hips for emphasis.

Cas gasped and bit his lower lip as he gave Dean a heated look. “Yes, we do.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “You feel incredible. I had no idea it would be like that.”

“Did you think it’d be more raunchy, maybe some spanking?” he asked with a soft chuckle.

Cas felt the heat rising to his cheeks when he couldn’t help but picture Dean spanking him, like in the video with the babysitter and the pizza man, before he shook his head. “No… I don’t know what I imagined. I definitely didn’t know it would feel so incredible. I thought it would hurt a lot more.”

“I’m glad it didn’t,” he murmured as he kissed his cheek.

“I knew you would take good care of me,” he whispered against Dean’s cheek, nuzzling lazily against him.

Dean hummed as he gently bit his pulse point. “Love you.”

Cas smiled against Dean’s soft skin, murmuring, “I love you too… Thank you for giving this…  _ us  _ a chance.”

“Thanks for being patient with me.”

“Always, Dean.” Cas turned his face to look at him, carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You know I would have waited forever for you.” 

Dean laughed and braced his hand over Cas’s. “Glad I woke up. Only took ten years.”

“It’s not like we had much time before that. There was always something, but now we are finally free to be you and me.” 

“You and me in the end,” he said with a chuckle.

The smile curling Cas’s lips was almost hurting his cheeks, he felt it so deeply. Cas nodded before he pulled Dean into a lazy kiss. He knew this moment would be forever ingrained in his memory as the happiest moment of his life.

It was the week before Christmas, and the day before they had their flight to the Oakland airport to spend Christmas with his brother and sister-in-law. Cas was at work, getting in a little four hour shift before he was off for a couple of weeks.

Dean was in the living room, pacing back and forth from the weight of the velvet lined box in his right front pocket. With a sigh he pulled it out, and examined the simple white gold band with their first initials engraved on the inside.

Mom had hooked him up with a jeweler a few counties over. She saved the woman’s life, and in repayment she gave Dean a helluva deal. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if the cops came with an arrest warrant for theft, that’s how much of a steal it was.

It was fast, probably too fast, but Dean knew when something just felt right. And proposing to Cas, even though they couldn’t legally get married, but their alter egos could… it felt right.

Now he just had to get ready to pop the question, and wait for the perfect moment. With the privacy of the house to himself, Dean pulled out the box and got down on one knee.

“Castiel, will you marry me?” Dean sighed and shook his head. “Cas, baby, I love you and…” Dean groaned in frustration as he ran his free hand through his hair. 

Taking a steeling breath, Dean tried again. “You wanna make it official?”

"Son of a bitch," Feathers croaked behind him, startling the crap out of him.

“Dick bird, warn a guy!” Dean barked back as he shook his head and tried to concentrate. Why the hell was this so much more difficult than he thought it would be?

"Marry me!" Feathers replied loudly, shaking his wings.

Dean stood up and approached the bird. “Stop that shit, forget that phrase right now.”

"That shit!" Feathers tilted his head, just like Cas used to do when he didn't get something.

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re such a weird bird.”

"The pie is for Dean!" Feathers replied before he jumped up and down on the backrest of the chair that faced the TV.

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. “How many of my pies have you gotten, huh?”

Feathers made a few bird noises before he said, "As if!"

“That’s it. Claire’s not allowed to watch you anymore,” he said as he pocketed the box and sat on the chair Feathers was jumping on.

Feathers softly rubbed his beak against his neck, making cooing noises before he jumped on his shoulder. "Do Cas," he demanded with a head tilt.

Dean shrugged. “Can’t, he’s at work.”

Feathers whistled and spread his wings in excitement, croaking, "Baby, I love you."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Think he’ll say yes if I pop the question?”

Feathers bobbed his head up and down before he said, "Get me a beer!"

“You know what? That’s an excellent idea,” he said as he pushed himself up to stand.

Feathers flew off of his shoulder and back to the backrest of the chair, watching him as he walked to the fridge while he sang the melody of  _ The Imperial March. _

Dean chuckled again as he moved to lean against the counter and took a swig of the beer. He looked at the empty space and pretended Cas was there. “Wanna get hitched?”

"Hello, Dean!" Feathers ruffled his feathers.

“That a yes?” he asked with a scoff.

"Hell yes!" Feathers replied, jumping up and down.

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Well, at least  _ you _ agreed to marry me.”

"Marry me!" Feathers bobbed his head up and down and wolf-whistled. "Marry me!" 

“Son of a bitch, you need to forget that phrase this damn minute.” Dean didn’t know how much that damn bird understood, but hopefully his serious tone would convey how much he meant what he was saying.

"Son of a bitch!" Feathers croaked before he added, "Forget that!"

Dean chuckled. “Good. And remember, I have no qualms about firing up the grill and serving you for dinner, you get me?”

"The grill!" Feathers shrieked before he tilted his head. "Get me?"

Dean nodded and took another swig of his beer. “Smart bird.”

"Feathers." He hopped up and down again before he flew to the window sill and looked outside. "Cas!"

“I swear if you’re fucking with me again,” he grumbled, quickly hiding the ring in his (not so secret) stash of junk food drawer, somewhere he knew Cas would never look, before he went to the window.

“Cas! Cas!” Feathers repeated.

Dean sighed when there was nothing outside. “You’re a fucking dick.”

Feathers whistled before he croaked, "Jerk. Marry me!"

Dean whipped out one of the butcher knives and pointed it at him. “Ever heard the nursery rhyme about blackbirds baked in a pie?”

"The pie is for Dean!" Feathers replied with a head tilt.

“Damn right, and you’ve gotten pretty plump.”

“I love you,” Feathers chirped before he started cleaning his feathers, seemingly unimpressed by Dean’s threat.

Dean shook his head as he returned the knife to its sleeve in the block. With a soft sigh he grabbed his beer, and quirked his brow at the bird. “I don’t know how much you understand, but it’s worth a shot. Don’t fuck this up for me. It’s damn important.”

Feathers just stared at him for a long moment before he bobbed his head up and down. "I love you," he repeated.

Dean tipped his beer in Feathers’ direction. “I’ll take that as you understand.”

“Do Cas.” Feathers shook his wings and looked outside the window again.

“Not falling for that shit again,” he said as he made his way back to the living room.

A few moments later the front door was opened and he heard Cas's voice. "It's me."

Dean immediately changed directions, heading to the door to greet Cas, flipping the damn bird the bird on his way. “Hey, babe. How was work?”

Cas was holding a little golden wrapped box in his hands. "It was very nice. I got a present for Christmas from the McPherson family. I'm not allowed to open it before Christmas though. Are you hungry?" he asked before he kissed Dean's cheek and pulled off his coat and shoes.

Dean pulled him in for a deeper kiss, he gently cupped Cas’s cheek as he murmured, “For you.”

Cas gasped and immediately reacted to his words. Dean loved how receptive he was. How he could feel Cas's body relax against him. "Dean… I missed you," he whispered against his lips.

“A whole four hours without me,” he said with a soft chuckle as he slipped his hands in Cas’s back pockets, squeezing his ass for good measure.

He was rewarded by a low hum and Cas pressing closer to him. "Four hours where I only thought of you."

Dean chuckled as he pushed Cas against a wall, diving in for another kiss before he breathed out, “Must’ve made stocking hard.”

"You have no idea," Cas breathed out as his fingers went to Dean's shirt, unbuttoning it.

“What did you think about?” Dean growled as he picked Cas up and started carrying him up the stairs.

Cas somehow managed to pull off his own shirt while Dean was carrying him up to his…  _ their  _ bedroom. "I thought about having sex with you."

Dean let out an appreciative hum as he kissed Cas’s collarbone. “Where were we having sex?”

"On your bed. You were pushing me down, taking me," Cas replied almost shyly before he softly bit his earlobe.

Thankful he left the bedroom door open, Dean carried Cas to the bed before bracing him on the mattress, slotting between his legs as he dove in for kiss after kiss. “Dirty and quick?”

"Yeah," Cas breathed out. "Want me to turn around?" he asked with his lower lip trapped between his teeth.

Dean groaned and shook his head. “Not yet. Want your lips a little longer,” he breathed out as he used one hand to unbuckle Cas’s belt. 

Cas helped him, quickly getting out of his jeans, before kicking them off of the bed. Immediately his fingers went to Dean's belt, quickly unbuckling it. "Dean… I need you."

“Yeah, baby,” he groaned as he got rid of his jeans in record time, grabbing the lube off of the nightstand before he popped it open and dripped the cold liquid directly on Cas’s hole. 

Cas gasped before he spread his legs for him a little wider, pulling him down into a fervent kiss. He loved seeing Cas like this. How he opened up for Dean, letting him in. Trusting him.

Dean wasted no time before he started toying with Cas’s hole, groaning when he realized… “Did you stretch yourself at work?”

"Yes, shortly before my shift ended. I wanted to be ready for you," Cas moaned, rocking his ass towards Dean's finger.

“Fuck,” he breathed out as his first digit easily slipped inside of Cas. “If that isn’t the hottest goddamn thing I’ve ever heard,” he groaned again, slipping a second finger in his boyfriend’s hole. He was sucked right in and Dean was surprised he didn’t come right then and there.

"Dean, uhh…” Dean loved seeing precome drip from Cas's erection. "Please."

Dean flipped Cas onto his stomach and coated his cock with the lube, inching forward before the head of his cock was pushing at Cas’s hole. They had been fucking kind of non-stop since that night when they first crossed that intimacy line. Which meant Cas was pretty much always ready. Dean hadn’t had this level of stamina in a minute.

Cas pushed himself up on all fours, moaning beautifully when Dean's dick slid into him before he immediately started fucking himself on it without holding back. He gasped out Dean’s name, making it sound almost like a prayer, arching his back as he threw his head back with a deep groan.

“Oh, fuck, fuck…” Dean murmured as he tightened his grip and started thrusting forward, completely engulfed in pleasure.

"Yes, Dean. Uh, please… make me yours," Cas breathed out in between moans.

Dean was more than happy to do so. He wasn’t going to last, the clenching, the heat… The sounds Cas kept making. “Want me to come in or on your hole?” he gasped out, another wave of pleasure shivered down his spine.

"In me," Cas gasped out. "Please fill me." It sounded so dirty and needy, it was almost too much.

Dean leaned forward, braced against Cas, pistoning his hips in short, fast thrusts as he bit his pulse point. “Love your filthy fucking mouth,” he groaned into Cas’s ear.

Cas made a cute sound, a mixture between a moan and a whimper as he replied breathlessly, "So close, Dean. Please take me harder."

Dean pulled Cas upright with him, now each shift caused his cock to hit Cas’s prostate. “Like this?”

"Oh… f–fuck, Dean," Cas gasped out. He rarely cursed in normal conversation, which made it even hotter to hear him let go in these intimate moments. "I'm… yes," Cas cried out.

The tightness of his clenching around Dean’s girth as he came with a loud, drawn out moan was all it took. Dean gasped and followed his lover down the rabbit hole of ecstasy, Cas’s hole strangling his orgasm from him. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed into Cas’s ear as his heartbeat tried to regulate itself.

He could feel Cas's body shudder, and Dean wrapped his arms around him. Cas turned his head and kissed Dean’s cheek with a dazed smile. "I love you so much."

Dean chuckled and withdrew to turn Cas around in his arms. “Ditto.”

Cas rewarded him with another bright smile before he pulled him into a deep kiss. He could still feel the smile against his lips before Cas drew back. "This is the best part of coming home."

“Barely greeting each other before we’re naked and sweaty?” 

Cas chuckled and nodded before he shook his head, as if it was only partially true. "Yes, and the part where I feel like I’m finally where I belong. With you."

Dean cupped his cheek, unable to quell the surge of happiness he felt. “So, no regrets?”

"Of course not," Cas replied immediately, his eyes turning soft. "I always dreamed of this, even if I never dared think it could become a reality. You make me so very happy, Dean.”

Dean couldn’t help but shake his head in amazement. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss. “Must’ve done something good.”

"You did a lot of good," Cas purred.

“Flirt,” he teased in his best Crowley voice.

Cas scrunched up his nose, and he had no right looking that damn cute. "Is flirting not okay now that we're…” He gave Dean a questioning look. "Now that we're a couple?"

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Flirt all you want. I kinda like it.”

Cas looked relieved by that and nodded. "Good… Um, so in January… Um, the McPhersons invited us to a dinner at their home. So, then I can tell them that you're my… boyfriend? And it wouldn't be a lie."

Dean nodded, flashing him an amused smile. “Hell, even when it was a lie, it wasn’t really a lie.”

"What do you mean?"

With a soft laugh, he dropped himself against the mattress, pulling Cas with him as he hummed contentedly. “We were basically dating, minus the sex and makeouts.”

Cas gave him a thoughtful look. "And minus the knowledge about our feelings for each other being reciprocated."

“Yeah. We were pretty much already dating.” Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I won’t lie, though. I’m glad we’re having sex now.”

Cas blushed and nodded shyly. "Yes, it's weird how much this has changed my perception of sex. At first I tried to avoid thinking about it at all costs, and now I embrace it, and it's all I can think about."

Dean chuckled and nudged his nose against Cas’s cheek. “Makin’ up for lost time.”

Cas shook his head slightly as he cuddled closer. He sounded tired. "Yeah, maybe."

“I’m glad we’re taking an evening flight,” he murmured as he pulled the blanket up and over them.

"Will you be okay with flying though? I know you wanted to drive," Cas said as he pressed soft kisses to Dean's shoulder.

Dean shook his head. “We lose four days with them if we drive, so… I’ll drop a bill at the bar before the flight, and you’ll hold my hand the whole time. I’ll be fine.”

"I would say I'll watch over you, but I don't know how much that is worth anymore," Cas replied quietly.

“Worth it all,” he murmured as he cupped his cheek and gave him a reassuring smile.

Cas gave him a searching look before he leaned up and pulled him into a kiss. A lingering one, that had a touch of vulnerability. When Cas leaned back, he scrunched up his nose and shook his head. “I had planned to cook something for dinner. My bag is full of groceries.”

“Or we could drop them off at the nearest homeless shelter, and pick up drive thru?” Dean suggested as he grabbed Cas’s hand and held it.

Cas squeezed his hand and nodded slowly. "That's a good idea." He pressed a quick kiss to Dean's lips before he asked, "Did you give Claire your keys so she can feed Feathers?"

Dean shook his head as he sat up and grabbed his shirt. “She wouldn’t take ‘em. Said she didn’t want to get rusty on picking locks.”

Cas rolled his eyes. "Typical. She got that from you."

“You kidding? The staying sharp crap is all you. I always vote for lazy,” he said with a smug grin before he grabbed Cas’s shirt and tossed it to him.

Cas caught it effortlessly and raised his eyebrows. "I don't think so. At the moment I feel rather lazy and want to stay in bed."

Dean got up and leaned over Cas, halting his hand. “Stay in bed. I’ll take care of it.”

"Have I mentioned that I love you?" Cas asked with a soft smile as he stretched on the bed with a soft moan, showing off his well built body. Fucker knew what he was doing.

Dean chuckled and stole a kiss from his lips before he hovered over him. “Your Taco Time usual?”

"Yeah, do you make naked deliveries?" Cas asked with a smile.

“For you? I’ll make an exception.”

It was the last day of the year when they finally made it back home, exhausted from their wonderful trip to California, spending time with Sam and Eileen. 

Cas and Dean had decided early on they wouldn't give each other presents, other than erotic backrub coupons; instead giving food, clothes, and toiletries to the local homeless shelter before they left. 

They had everything they wanted anyway, and Cas still remembered how generous homeless people had been to him when he had nothing. He wanted to give something back.

Though, he had bought some extra healthy bird food for Feathers, and he was excited to see if he liked it. 

He and Dean had taken a quick nap when they got home, cuddling in their bed, and Cas woke up before Dean, quietly making his way down to the kitchen to cook dinner for them. He filled Feathers' food and water bowls, noticing the yellow sticky note on the fridge Claire had obviously left for them, that said, "Your bird is a dick. I like him. Merry Xmas."

Feathers was singing a melody from some movie while he was cooking pasta with tomato sauce with a contented smile. The last day of the year. Traditionally a time you made resolutions, and kiss the person you love at midnight as you watched the fireworks. 

He especially looked forward to kissing Dean at midnight. 

A pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around him, interrupting his daydreaming, and pulled him close. Cas closed his eyes with a hum when Dean kissed his neck, exactly the spot that made his whole body hum with pleasure. "You're awake," he stated the obvious. Dean kissing him there always made his higher brain functions shut down.

“Bed got cold without you,” he murmured before pressing a kiss to the nape of Cas’s neck.

"I apologize," Cas purred, goosebumps rising on his arms, "I thought you might be hungry when you woke up."

Dean chuckled and hummed against his skin. “You’re too good to me.”

Cas shook his head and turned around in Dean's embrace. Dean was still warm from sleeping, a few creases and lines on his cheek where his face had been pressed against the pillow. He pulled him into a soft, lingering kiss before he shook his head. "Well, you're too good to me too."

“I try…” he teased before he gently smacked Cas’s ass. “You makin’ your garlic bread too?”

"Of course. I almost thought the smell is what woke you up." Cas chuckled. Dean had impeccable timing when it came to food.

Dean chuckled. “Actually, it was dick bag. You left the door open and Feathers started humming the friggin’ Imperial March from the headboard.”

"Oh, I wondered where he went." Cas gave Dean a soft smile before he kissed his cheek. "So, tonight… at midnight, I want to kiss you."

“You can kiss me anytime you want, baby.”

"I know, but I learned it's a human tradition, and I want to experience all of those with you," he explained with a soft smile. It still made his heart stumble when Dean called him baby.

Dean chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. “Speakin’ of human traditions…”

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Yes?" 

In that moment Feathers landed on the table next to them, singing a beautiful, joyful melody.

Dean chuckled and shook his head at the bird before he took Cas’s hand in his, pulling him over to the dining table. “Been meaning to ask you something…” he said as he started pulling something out of his pocket.

"Marry me! The grill! Get me! Baby, I love you!" Feathers croaked suddenly. It took a moment for Cas to register the words. 

He turned to Feathers in confusion, wondering where he had heard those words. "What?"

"Cas! Marry me! Son of a bitch. Forget that!" Feathers croaked and it sounded like something Dean had said to him. Cas turned to Dean with a confused look.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “And then I’m gonna eat you, you dick,” he complained to the bird.

"The grill! The grill!" Feathers shrieked and flew up on the cupboard before he croaked again, "Marry me. I love you!"

"Dean?" Cas had no idea what was going on. 

Dean groaned and grabbed a chair to climb up on. “This moment ruining dick bag is gonna be our dinner.”

Cas's eyes widened when it suddenly hit him. Feathers wasn't just repeating the TV. He had repeated something he had overheard Dean saying. And not just anything.

He gasped and his heart stumbled. Cas grabbed Dean's wrist before Dean could climb up the chair. "Dean… stop. Please."

Dean halted and looked down at him with a sheepish expression. He sighed and pulled out a small box, handing it to Cas. “I wanted it to be memorable and romantic,” he said dejectedly.

Cas swallowed dryly, looking down at the box before he looked up at Dean again. "It still is," he whispered, his voice suddenly crumbling. "What did you want to ask?"

Dean opened the box to reveal a simple white gold band. “I wanted to pop  _ the  _ question. Cas?” Dean pulled the ring out and started sliding it on Cas’s left ring finger. “Will you marry me?”

Cas forgot how to breathe for a moment before he suddenly remembered that he had to answer. "Yes, yes, of course," he quickly replied before he laughed, as happiness started to bubble over and he couldn't stop himself any longer, falling forward into Dean's arms, pulling him into a kiss.

Dean let out a relieved laugh and cupped his cheek. “I mean, I know it won’t be technically legal and…”

"I don't care," Cas quickly replied, and shook his head. He couldn't stop smiling as he looked at the ring on his finger. "I will be yours. In every way possible. That's all I’ve ever wanted."

Dean smiled and lifted Cas into his arms. “Can I still murder Feathers for being a dick?”

"Please don't." Cas chuckled. "I'm sure he didn't mean to do that, and he sure made this moment very memorable. Not that I could ever forget it."

Dean sighed and shrugged. “I can’t say no to you.”

"Good." Cas pulled him into a long kiss, softly pushing Dean against the table. When he leaned back, he couldn’t stop the smile that curled his lips. "Now you can make all the husband jokes you want."

“And people will stop bugging me about making an honest man out of you.”

Cas scrunched up his nose. "I always try to be honest."

Dean chuckled and pressed a kiss to his nose. “Sure, baby.”

Cas squinted his eyes at him. "You sound like you don't believe me."

Dean chuckled and quirked his brow. “We’ve both lied to each other, hell… I don’t even know how many times now.”

"I said I  _ try  _ to be honest. Not that I always have been." Cas gave him a serious look before he squeezed Dean's hand. "And I promise I won't keep any more secrets from you. When I have a problem, I will talk to you."

“Good, ‘cause now you have to stay honest with me. It’s in the contract.”

"Contract?" Cas asked with a head tilt.

“Yeah,” Dean said as he tapped Cas’s ring, “marriage is a contract.”

Cas held up his hand and looked at the ring again. A symbol, that made it visible to everyone, that they belonged together. Dean was committed to their relationship, and Cas's last doubts that he might leave him at some point had finally disappeared. "One I’ll happily commit to,” he replied.

Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to the ring. “Me too, sunshine.”

Later that night, when the clock turned midnight, Dean pulled him into a soft kiss and wished him a happy new year. Cas knew, without a doubt, he had arrived at his own personal Heaven. This was his life now, a life where  _ Mister blue sky is living here today,  _ as Dean sometimes sang. 

He had a family, one that would grow in the new year, and he knew that the road ahead might not always be easy, but it sure as hell was worth everything. Cas was looking forward to all of the good, and even not so good, experiences with Dean at his side.

Cas squeezed Dean's hands before he pulled him up to their bedroom. He couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with Dean.

**The End** ****


End file.
